Honest (if odd) search for open-minded farmer

Discussion in 'Wanted' started by MattDM, Apr 16, 2017.

  1. JCMaloney

    JCMaloney Member

    Location:
    LE3 9EU
    Oi! :p:p

    This bloke is making us look fairly normal in the grander scheme of things! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
  2. Ray996

    Ray996 Member

    On weird subjects, knew of lady that used to crap on whoever she took home after niteclub.poor blokes would waken up in morn with a turd on them.maybe ey should hook up?!
     
  3. Barleymow

    Barleymow Member

    Location:
    Ipswich
    When I worked in Aus i went to see a friend who worked on a dairy farm. He was milking at the time i offered to help,as i had Good thongs on my feet i kicked them off and squelched through the much barefoot. Quite a nice feeling
     
  4. davieh3350

    davieh3350 Member

    Location:
    Pitlochry
    Wouldn't feel as nice if there were bits of sweet corn through it, they'd get stuck between your toes
     
  5. Dry Rot

    Dry Rot Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    This is actually rather an interesting subject! I was forced to play team game at school and my hatred of anything associated with 'sports' probably stems from that!

    As the OP is so open and frank, I wonder if he can suggest the origins and reasons for his fetish? He must have thought about it. He sounds a lot more sensible than some who occasionally post on here asking for access to our land!

    I don't have children, but I understand that babies initially have no repugnance for their own poo. Some will even taste it given the chance. They have to be taught, so it is not instinctive. Any comments from parents? Or even unreformed poo eaters??
     
  6. JCMaloney

    JCMaloney Member

    Location:
    LE3 9EU
    @Dry Rot are you possibly suggesting that you perceive this request as "more sensible" than detecting? :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:

    I am very much a live & let live type and what consenting folk get up to in their own domain is up to them but even I find the request just a bit.... ermmm.... odd. Let alone the health risks........ even us detecting types wear gloves!

    In answer to your query I don`t recall consuming my own :poop: as an infant.
     
    Dry Rot likes this.
  7. Dry Rot

    Dry Rot Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    But that doesn't mean you didn't, does it?;)
     
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  8. static

    static Member

    Location:
    Lincoln-ish.
    I could hide a horse-shoe and a broken old plough point in the muck heap if any similar-minded detectorists want to go over that.
     
    smcapstick and Dry Rot like this.
  9. JCMaloney

    JCMaloney Member

    Location:
    LE3 9EU
    @static isn`t that normal farming behaviour?

    We just normally find them after spreading........ that and flipping cow tubes!! :mad::mad:

    Britains Detectorists keeping the fields tidy!! :ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
     
    Flossie likes this.
  10. JCMaloney

    JCMaloney Member

    Location:
    LE3 9EU
    To be honest my first memory from childhood is when I worked out that I could fit my legs through the bars of the cot and tip it over, land on my feet & "escape" !
    Aged about 4 or 5 is emptying a packet of Persil down the kitchen sink & running the hot tap to make "bubbles".................................... the sharp pain afterwards left it embedded in my memory.
    That and drinking half a bottle of sherry & two bottles of Gold Label destined for the Christmas Pud at the age of 6...... "I only looked in the sideboard".............. no memories of eating my own :poop:
     
    mtx.jag likes this.
  11. MattDM

    MattDM New Member

    Hi @Dry Rot. Thanks for the reply. Over the years I've given it a lot of thought (bring on the fapping jokes!) and the honest answer is that I simply don't know (fetishes come in all shapes and sizes and it's not clear where they come from - although childhood experience is probably an important factor). I guess it probably stems from my time as a child growing up near the countryside and that anything to do with poo of any kind is viewed as taboo (then it's not a huge leap to developing an unusual interest). And thanks to those who have pointed out the health issues surrounding such activities, I recognise that there is inherent risk and I would never in a million years want anyone other than myself to be liable.
     
    borderterribles, Osca and Dry Rot like this.
  12. Dry Rot

    Dry Rot Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    I honestly wish I could help you, but all I have here is horses and their dung is pretty mundane stuff. Anyway, it is mostly left in the field until harrowed in. I am located in the far north of Scotland which is too far away for most people! I genuinely wish you all the best in your quest!
     
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  13. MattDM

    MattDM New Member

    Thanks @Dry Rot. All the best!
     
  14. Is some poo more alluring than others?

    Dug Sh1te?

    TSS
     
  15. Dry Rot

    Dry Rot Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    No, we have a machine to do that. It's called "a harrows". Edited to include "mower"....
     
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  16. MattDM

    MattDM New Member

    Lol. Probably cow and pig :)
     
  17. spikeislander

    spikeislander Member

    Location:
    bedfordshire
    I think what we all want to know is the details of what you want to do?
    I'm not sure I get it if I'm honest but whatever floats your boat.
     
  18. GTB

    GTB Member

    Location:
    Ceredigion, wales
    Pretty sure there was a similar request on FWi a few years ago. I don't think he got many offers either IIRC.
     
  19. MattDM

    MattDM New Member

    Hi @spikeislander, thanks for the reply. So to be honest anything from rolling around in a muck heap to taking a dip in a slurry pond to getting covered by a slurry spreader. At the end of the day, whatever the farmer in question is happy with (and of course assuming that it's not a gigantic inconvenience - and I'm happy to pay to try and offset that).
     
  20. Dry Rot

    Dry Rot Member

    Location:
    Scotland
    I think something similar came up on another forum. I felt obliged to point out that there are some strange obsessions that are a lot more general. For example, a lot of females of the species homo sapiens douse themselves with secretions of the anal glands of the civet cat....apparently because we men like the smell!:rolleyes:
     
    Ray996 likes this.

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