Honest (if odd) search for open-minded farmer

[MattDM]

Hi guys.

If there’s an award going for most unusual wanted post I’m going to stand a shot of winning it I think. I’m a normal, totally sane guy who gets a thrill out of manure (I’m otherwise very normal would you believe). I’m hoping to somehow find a friendly, open-minded farmer who would be open to the idea of letting me play around in muck (I recognise that a farm is a place of work of course) and I thought "hey wtf lets see if anyone on TFF can help". I’m fully prepared to pay for the privilege and I’m 100% genuine. I live in the S of England but travel about the country a bit. I recognise that this is a very weird request and I hope no-one reading it is too horrified . Would love to hear from anyone who could help me out.

 

[milkloss]

Have you been released then David?

http://www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/man-cow-slurry-fetish-jailed-3627401

 

[MattDM]

Hahaha I remember reading about that guy, seriously scary dude. I'm not him just to be super clear (I'm also not a dangerous loony).

 

[milkloss]

Hahaha I remember reading about that guy, seriously scary dude. I'm not him just to be super clear (I'm also not a dangerous loony).

So what exactly would be doing messing about in sh1t?

 

[MattDM]

Depends on what the farmer in question is happy with (I don't want to offend). I'd love to be covered in muck though.

 

[wr.]

I could probably arrange something like this for a small fee

 

[MattDM]

That would work for me ;-)

 

[ffukedfarmer]

...."totally sane", yet you get a thrill from playing in sh1t and are willing to pay for the "privilege"?!

 

[MattDM]

Hard to believe I know but true. Just one of those (really embarrassing) things I guess lol.

 

[Ukjay]

Is this for real?

Seriously - in absence of any technical detail for the reasons as to why you are asking to do such a risky thing for a farmer to allow you to do on their property, I need to ask if you have had a bump on the head, as what you are saying is concernable to say the least, even a fetish gone wrong one would say!!

 

[MattDM]

Yeah, afraid it is real . Nope, no bump on the head and I know it's very (!) niche to say the least.

 

[milkloss]

Would this be a 'solo' event?

 

[Tha Ulsterscot]

All you need to do is work with Cattle, the rest will happen Naturally

 

[MattDM]

Sure, unless the farmer wanted to join in lol ;-).

 

[MattDM]

I think I missed my true calling, clearly.

 

[Ukjay]

I have to ask, WHY?

 

[ARW]

To clear things up, you just want to get covered in muck? I know fell in a slurry tank, luckily my legs went either side of the suction pipe and that stopped me going completely under, I was covered in slurry up to my neck, it was -2 and I had to drive home naked, it was far from a pleasure in my mind!

 

[Boothy]

You need to get a grip pal who the hell gets their jollies from playing in shite????

 

[MattDM]

To clear things up, you just want to get covered in muck? I know fell in a slurry tank, luckily my legs went either side of the suction pipe and that stopped me going completely under, I was covered in slurry up to my neck, it was -2 and I had to drive home naked, it was far from a pleasure in my mind!

To clear things up, you just want to get covered in muck? I know fell in a slurry tank, luckily my legs went either side of the suction pipe and that stopped me going completely under, I was covered in slurry up to my neck, it was -2 and I had to drive home naked, it was far from a pleasure in my mind!

Yeah that's all I'm after tbh (wow, that is cold though)

 

[MattDM]

I have to ask, WHY?

Good question and I really don't know; some people are into feet and stuff whilst others into errr other things.