How to move a dead horse?

[Sussex Martin]

I went round a straight crooked corner to see a dead donkey die, I drew my knife and shot it and it kicked me in the eye.

 

[marcusthehat]

Just rediscovered how to laugh, possibly due to being 3 weeks from retirement, but most likely simply from reading through this thread from the start.
Being a long time married I particularly liked someones inane comment;
"she will have forgotten by now",
to which someone else blithely replied;
"you're not married, are you"
Priceless!

 

[llamedos]

I went round a straight crooked corner to see a dead donkey die, I drew my knife and shot it and it kicked me in the eye.

Next Friday I went to the pictures
I took a front seat at the back
I said to the lady behind me
I couldn’t see over her hat.
She gave me some whole broken biscuits
I ate them and gave her them back
I got a blind man to guide me....

 

[topground]

One fine day in the middle of the night two dead men jumped up to fight.
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other

 

[Robigus]

From May 2014 on another thread

Sherlocks extraction turned into quite an event and unfortunately my wife still looks on here occasionally to check I haven't posted any more details regarding DIY dobbin disposal. She didn't see the funny side, one bit! (The woodchipper-out-the-window suggestion went down particularly badly).

I will eventually talk her round to it..

I do still look in frequently and am amused to see references to the deceased donkey in all sorts of threads

 

[JJT]

Maybe while @Gator is off line he is thinking up of how to solve the inspectors problem?

 

[jds]

Some people clearly no respect for animals.... wood chippers, chainsaws? Seriously

Can you not Break it's legs fold them in and then pull it out with a mini digger.

 

[Forever Fendt]

Some people clearly no respect for animals.... wood chippers, chainsaws? Seriously

Can you not Break it's legs fold them in and then pull it out with a mini digger.

I would have thought by now its gone rotten

 

[Landyman]

I would have thought by now its gone rotten

By now its been reincarnated as a feckin hedgehog and walked out only to be eaten by a badger

 

[Mrs Holwell]

By now its been reincarnated as a feckin hedgehog and walked out only to be eaten by a badger

Think we should ask @Gator s opinion - oh whoops - forgot he has no interweb thingy

 

[llamedos]

@Gator would have just used the winch on the Gator

 

[roscoe erf]

A young guy called Tommy bought a horse from a farmer for $250 and the farmer agreed to deliver the horse to Tommy the following day.

The next day though, the farmer turned up at Tommy's house and said, "Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the horse died."

Tommy replied, "Well, then just give me my money back. That's fine."

The farmer said, "Sorry, I can't do that. I went and spent it already."

Tommy then said, "Okay, then, just bring me the dead horse."

The farmer was surprised and asked Tommy, "Why? What ya gonna do with him?"

Tommy replied, "I’m going to raffle him off."

The farmer laughed and said, "You can't raffle off a dead horse! Who'd buy a ticket?"

Tommy answered, "Sure I can, just watch me. I just won't tell anybody the horse is dead."

A month later, the farmer met up with Tommy again and asked, "What happened with that dead horse in the end. Did you raffle him off?"

Tommy said, "I sure did. I sold 500 tickets at $5 a piece."

The farmer said, "Didn't anyone complain?"

Tommy smiled and said, "Just the guy who won. So I gave him his $5 back."

 

[JWL]

I had to smile today when I remembered this thread on here. We had a horse pts today but it was done with a bit of forethought, dropped in the field, reasonable amount of time for the owner to say her goodbyes then a pair of slings, Manitou and onto a trailer for its last trip. All smoothly done with no dramas or chainsaws

 

[chaffcutter]

That’s all very nice and tidy............but it ain’t very funny....

Years ago we had a horse shot on our stable yard, the owner asked us to bury it ( which was fine back then ). My cousin dug a fair hole with the JCB, slid said equine in neatly, and decided it was a pity to waste all the spare capacity when there was junk which needed disposal, so off he went and filled the bucket with various household and other crap including an old tv, which he placed carefully by the horses head, remarking in his usual strange sense of humour ‘that’ll keep him amused if there really is life after death’....

 

[TheTallGuy]

That’s all very nice and tidy............but it ain’t very funny....

Years ago we had a horse shot on our stable yard, the owner asked us to bury it ( which was fine back then ). My cousin dug a fair hole with the JCB, slid said equine in neatly, and decided it was a pity to waste all the spare capacity when there was junk which needed disposal, so off he went and filled the bucket with various household and other crap including an old tv, which he placed carefully by the horses head, remarking in his usual strange sense of humour ‘that’ll keep him amused if there really is life after death’....

Or in 1000 years time they dig it up for Time Team and the experts will have a field day coming up with all sorts of fancy reasons why a horse would be buried with such items ...

 

[Clive]

I know someone who was asked to burry a horse on a stable yard near us but being a bit lazy they didn't dig the hole deep enough, when they filled it in a foot was sticking out the ground ! A debate followed about if the best solution was to place a traffic cone over the foot and hoped no-one noticed or if they should get the chainsaw and trim it down a bit !

 

[topground]

FFS, every time this thread crops up I live in hope that there will be a full and frank disclosure of the solution to this seemingly intractable problem but yet again my hopes are dashed and I am left with the crushng dissapointment of still not knowing.
@Inspector Cluedo sort this out please!

 

[milkloss]

FFS, every time this thread crops up I live in hope that there will be a full and frank disclosure of the solution to this seemingly intractable problem but yet again my hopes are dashed and I am left with the crushng dissapointment of still not knowing.
@Inspector Cluedo sort this out please!

Bet ‘she’ hasn’t forgotten yet.

 

[Princess Pooper]

I head of another way of getting rid of a dead horse today..... R4 at Yorkshire Wildlife Park they were feeding roughly butchered horse to the lions.....

 

[Philip Watkins]

I head of another way of getting rid of a dead horse today..... R4 at Yorkshire Wildlife Park they were feeding roughly butchered horse to the lions.....

Just like zebra in a plain wrapper