Mental health

[Lofty1984]

I tried to point out the positives when I spoke to him a week ago
and told him he had friends that cared .I knew he had serious problems
but I didn't think he would do this .I wish i hadn't been so knackered the last
few days and had chased him up but he was a strong willed character so I
just dont know.

As hard as it is you can’t think like that pal what ifs will do you no good

 

[lloyd]

As hard as it is you can’t think like that pal what ifs will do you no good

The strange thing was you could have a sensible conversation
about most things but the break up of a long term relationship after a serious
accident was just too painful for him .I dont think he could get over this hurdle
which is a dam shame as he had a lot of good qualities as a human being .
I think he just cared too much and felt betrayed for the years of hard work
he did for a family he loved.

 

[Wurzeetoo]

I lost a friend to depression yesterday a real
loss of a lovely person .I wish I could have done
more to help him but I'm lost at what could have
prevented this happening .

Sorry for your loss, do not be blaming yourself as often the help some require does not exist. There’s no words you could have said to Change his mind when a decision had been made. Your friend is at peace now far removed from any emotional trauma

 

[lloyd]

Sorry for your loss, do not be blaming yourself as often the help some require does not exist. There’s no words you could have said to Change his mind when a decision had been made. Your friend is at peace now far removed from any emotional trauma

My wife has suggested similar but i can't help asking what if or
what more could have been done .I was hoping he would turn a corner
and start building off the positives but certain things would trigger a negative
with him and he was back to square one .Like you said I think he is at peace now
from any more emotional trauma .God bless my friend he was one of the good one's.

 

[ollie989898]

I lost a friend to depression yesterday a real
loss of a lovely person .I wish I could have done
more to help him but I'm lost at what could have
prevented this happening .

I had a very similar conversation with a patient not long ago. Though it is a entirely understandable thought process, thinking about the what if's will lead you around in circles and eventually grind you down no end.

I believe that some things we just aren't supposed to ever understand and there is no 'right' answer.

There can only be two real conclusions to draw, I appreciate neither will be much comfort though; I'm sure your friend would never want you to be sad on their account and also, people's minds are fickle things, there could never be any guarantee that anything anyone might have done for them would have actually changed the eventual outcome.

 

[JCMaloney]

Kind of bumping this thread topic especially at this time of year.
Popped out on the "Christmas Tour 2022" to see a few local farmers that have allowed the Club to search for many years. Usual bag of gifts, bottles, cards etc.
What with Covid and the like its been a while since I saw a few of them.
One chap looked particularly off colour and really looked his age - I know we all have bad days!
Anyways we walked from the shed where he was fixing a slow tyre leak in the loader into the farmhouse and we were catching up about "family & life" when I noticed he was struggling and seemed to be "holding something" in.
All I said was "What`s really troubling you "Fred"? to which he replied "I`m tired and had enough of life" and pretty much broke down on the spot.
I`m lucky that work trained me in MH First Aid so we sat down and talked, I`m good at that!!
Couple of cups of tea, listening, encouraging and cajoling and an hour later he`s on the phone to FCN speaking to a professional and, hopefully, I`ve left him in a better place.

The help is out there and you don`t have to hit the bottom before you ask for it.

 

[Lofty1984]

Kind of bumping this thread topic especially at this time of year.
Popped out on the "Christmas Tour 2022" to see a few local farmers that have allowed the Club to search for many years. Usual bag of gifts, bottles, cards etc.
What with Covid and the like its been a while since I saw a few of them.
One chap looked particularly off colour and really looked his age - I know we all have bad days!
Anyways we walked from the shed where he was fixing a slow tyre leak in the loader into the farmhouse and we were catching up about "family & life" when I noticed he was struggling and seemed to be "holding something" in.
All I said was "What`s really troubling you "Fred"? to which he replied "I`m tired and had enough of life" and pretty much broke down on the spot.
I`m lucky that work trained me in MH First Aid so we sat down and talked, I`m good at that!!
Couple of cups of tea, listening, encouraging and cajoling and an hour later he`s on the phone to FCN speaking to a professional and, hopefully, I`ve left him in a better place.

The help is out there and you don`t have to hit the bottom before you ask for it.

Well done sometimes all it takes is that second “ how are you really “