My husband killed himself while I slept - Continue the discussion about mental health

[SilliamWhale]

Very sad. I see theyve asked for donations for the DPJ Foundation which is a mental health charity named after a guy around here who committed suicide too.

Its a worthy cause, mental health is a very nebulous thing in a lot of circumstances and its something that I honestly think could happen to any one of us at any time even if you think you could be a million miles from it I still wonder if you could wake up the next day and find the emotions overwhelming. I just think this is such a sad situation- Im not judging but.just sympathising really.

 

[YorkshireAndrew]

The black dog is unfortunately not very far away from any of us . [emoji20]

 

[SilliamWhale]

The black dog is unfortunately not very far away for many of us .

Personally i feel very lucky ive not been badly affected but i totally accept it could and it could come from anywhere for anywhere for anyone of us. For some it could be a slow grower for some it could be a 24 hr thing. I think its worth discussing because over time it may become more explainable.

One thing ive always remembered (from reading the Dalai Lamas books actually!) Is that highs never last forever but crucially neither do lows. I suppose the hardest perspective to remember is that you can get out of the lows in the same way the highs dissapate - ie all feelings come to pass as does all pain, anger, hate, joy, romantic love, passion etc

All words though, nothing more sadly

 

[willy]

Very sad. I see theyve asked for donations for the DPJ Foundation which is a mental health charity named after a guy around here who committed suicide too.

Its a worthy cause, mental health is a very nebulous thing in a lot of circumstances and its something that I honestly think could happen to any one of us at any time even if you think you could be a million miles from it I still wonder if you could wake up the next day and find the emotions overwhelming. I just think this is such a sad situation- Im not judging but.just sympathising really.

You say suicide too. Was this the case? I hope not but also understand. I lost my cousin last year and it is a real problem. I wish it could be stopped. But know it can’t. I think of him every day and always will do sad sad day.

 

[Bill dog]

Im mulling whether here on this thread is the place to discuss or not and personally I think it is but feel free to pull me up on it but equally GTB valued discussion of any inflection.

Personally i feel very lucky ive not been badly affected but i totally accept it could and it could come from anywhere for anywhere for anyone of us. For some it could be a slow grower for some it could be a 24 hr thing. I think its worth discussing because over time it may become more explainable.

One thing ive always remembered (from reading the Dalai Lamas books actually!) Is that highs never last forever but crucially neither do lows. I suppose the hardest perspective to remember is that you can get out of the lows in the same way the highs dissapate - ie all feelings come to pass as does all pain, anger, hate, joy, romantic love, passion etc

All words though, nothing more sadly

They may be only words , but at this difficult time for his family, they may bring some comfort. And nobody can do any more than that . I thought your post was most eloquent, thanks !

 

[Thick Farmer]

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-husband-left-killed-himself-15004743

Here’s an article that came out this week about my friend Emma - Founder of the DPJ Foundation.

 

[Sharpy]

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-husband-left-killed-himself-15004743

Here’s an article that came out this week about my friend Emma - Founder of the DPJ Foundation.

Thank you.

 

[Cowabunga]

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-husband-left-killed-himself-15004743

Here’s an article that came out this week about my friend Emma - Founder of the DPJ Foundation.

I dont know if you remember but I started a topic a good few months ago about mental healtg and how we could spot it in people before it got out of control. This was in relation to an animal wefare case fairly locally. It turns out that there have been two such cases fairly close together. Quite serious cases. Nothing has been heard of them since, so it must be assumed that it was not in the public interest to prosecute. I’m interested in how to spot these issues of mental health before it gets too late and what can be done.
In fact, probably exactly what this charity, which I’d not heard of before, is all about. So thank you very much for bringing it to our attention. She is actually doing something about it and training people who visit farms to spot it and, hopefully train them on the appropriate action to take in the event they suspect things aren’t right. Not easy for anyone and may need both tact and perseverance.

 

[Lili]

https://www.walesonline.co.uk/news/wales-news/my-husband-left-killed-himself-15004743

Here’s an article that came out this week about my friend Emma - Founder of the DPJ Foundation.

I have met Emma and she is a truly inspiring and courageous young woman

 

[Cowabunga]

No need to be shy about death. There is nothing more sure that is bound to happen to us all and the circumstances will be different to each of us. Be happy for the life once lived and those that live today, rather than grieve too long for its loss.

 

[Happy at it]

No need to be shy about death. There is nothing more sure that is bound to happen to us all and the circumstances will be different to each of us. Be happy for the life once lived and those that live today, rather than grieve too long for its loss.

Easier said than done. I think on my auld boy every day, and very much doubt that will change. I also doubt there won't be a day i feel in some way cheated, and sad that my children won't remember the man.

I know farmers don't have a monopoly on grief but I definitely think losing someone you've grew up/worked with and shared the same passion with is incredibly had to get over. 51 is no age to lose a father or a husband ....

 

[Cowabunga]

Easier said than done. I think on my auld boy every day, and very much doubt that will change. I also doubt there won't be a day i feel in some way cheated, and sad that my children won't remember the man.

I know farmers don't have a monopoly on grief but I definitely think losing someone you've grew up/worked with and shared the same passion with is incredibly had to get over. 51 is no age to lose a father or a husband ....

Oh yes, I certainly agree with that. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and own time.

 

[Derrick Hughes]

Oh yes, I certainly agree with that. Everyone has to grieve in their own way and own time.

Took me 10 years to get over my mum .She passed away at 51 . One morning I got up and told myself what the hell am I doing to myself , all this ain't going to bring her back .She was a wonderful person and I was so lucky to have her in my life .She would want me to be happy and get on with my life .

 

[Chae1]

Ultimately we are all masters of our own destiny.

 

[Wellytrack]

Ultimately we are all masters of our own destiny.

In some ways yes. In others no.

 

[Cowabunga]

Ultimately we are all masters of our own destiny.

Really? I don't think so. Shït happens and then we die. My father has wished death for the last four years and it hasn't happened yet. He is 92 and spends 95% of his time in bed staring at a wall, being deaf, almost blind and immobile. He is certainly not a master of his own destiny.

 

[Hilly]

Ultimately we are all masters of our own destiny.

I think its 50/50.

 

[Brisel]

Ultimately we are all masters of our own destiny.

I agree - every choice you make in your life changes the path you go down. Ok, so a choice to take a walk somewhere that an out of control bus runs you over is less predictable but it's the mindset. Either make a choice or wait until circumstances force a choice. Sorry if this seems inappropriate here.

 

[glasshouse]

If you ever watched attenboroughs nature progs and see the turtles eggs hatching in the sand, some dont make it out the egg, some get eaten by birds, some make it to the sea. They play the hand they are dealt, as humans do. Some get a better hand, some play a better game , some lose.

 

[Wellytrack]

I agree - every choice you make in your life changes the path you go down. Ok, so a choice to take a walk somewhere that an out of control bus runs you over is less predictable but it's the mindset. Either make a choice or wait until circumstances force a choice. Sorry if this seems inappropriate here.

To me that’s existentialism, and in a way it’s an illusion. The illusion that we can control all matters by our will alone. Some we certainly and absolutely can, and some we simply cannot.


It’s because of this perception BS nonsense like cosmic ordering exists.