Forums
New posts
Forum list
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New resources
Latest activity
Trending Threads
Resources
Latest reviews
Search resources
FarmTV
Farm Compare
Search
Tokens/Searches
Calendar
Upcoming Events
Members
Registered members
Current visitors
New Resources
New posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Forum list
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Navigation
Install the app
Install
More options
Contact us
Close Menu
Forums
Farming Forward
Family and Farming
Pathalogical Narcassism (Control freak)and the damage it causes to family members
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="honeyend" data-source="post: 8084190" data-attributes="member: 23108"><p>My FIL had a terrible childhood, I feel sorry for the child he was, but he had terrible rages and controlled everything he could. My MIL wanted a new cooker, she cooked a hot meal every day and baked, that was 'too much money', but he bought himself a new camera, and spent a fortune of film when you had to pay to have it developed, most of which ended up in the bin. Its the only time I ever heard her complain, and I thought his children should have given him a talking to, or bought her the cooker. My dad would have got a mouth full from me.</p><p> As an outsider it was interesting to see how someone could control a family, while at the same time seeming perfectly reasonable, as no one wanted a scene, and wanted to appear nice. I come from a family that argue a lot, its a family sport, so you can imagine I was definitely seen as an outsider, as I would say exactly as I saw it.</p><p> I do not think he set out to be like that, its just no one had the consistency to confront his behaviour, he had the money and perceived power, and then there is the threat that it was making him ill. You have to treat someone like that has a job, store up your energy, think this is going to be rough, but I have my objectives, and I will chip away at it, picking away at the ones that are achievable.</p><p> My FIL seemed to think my MIL wouldn't cope after he died, he could not see that she actually did all the work, when he died she spent money on her self and had a lovely life. She was very smart, and I always wonder what she could have done if she had just confronted him more, even though there would have been a lot more rows or she would have left him.</p><p> I have worked with a bully, and they are often not as smart as they think, their ideas are often fixed, their mind closed to the possibility that someone else may have a better idea or know more. Their fear is being proved wrong, so they will fight to make everyone else look bad, every perceived error in inflated so people lose confidence in their abilities and knowledge. If you have a game plan, it's sometimes possible to make their predictable behaviour work for you, put long term you have to pick your battles and fight them to win.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="honeyend, post: 8084190, member: 23108"] My FIL had a terrible childhood, I feel sorry for the child he was, but he had terrible rages and controlled everything he could. My MIL wanted a new cooker, she cooked a hot meal every day and baked, that was 'too much money', but he bought himself a new camera, and spent a fortune of film when you had to pay to have it developed, most of which ended up in the bin. Its the only time I ever heard her complain, and I thought his children should have given him a talking to, or bought her the cooker. My dad would have got a mouth full from me. As an outsider it was interesting to see how someone could control a family, while at the same time seeming perfectly reasonable, as no one wanted a scene, and wanted to appear nice. I come from a family that argue a lot, its a family sport, so you can imagine I was definitely seen as an outsider, as I would say exactly as I saw it. I do not think he set out to be like that, its just no one had the consistency to confront his behaviour, he had the money and perceived power, and then there is the threat that it was making him ill. You have to treat someone like that has a job, store up your energy, think this is going to be rough, but I have my objectives, and I will chip away at it, picking away at the ones that are achievable. My FIL seemed to think my MIL wouldn't cope after he died, he could not see that she actually did all the work, when he died she spent money on her self and had a lovely life. She was very smart, and I always wonder what she could have done if she had just confronted him more, even though there would have been a lot more rows or she would have left him. I have worked with a bully, and they are often not as smart as they think, their ideas are often fixed, their mind closed to the possibility that someone else may have a better idea or know more. Their fear is being proved wrong, so they will fight to make everyone else look bad, every perceived error in inflated so people lose confidence in their abilities and knowledge. If you have a game plan, it's sometimes possible to make their predictable behaviour work for you, put long term you have to pick your battles and fight them to win. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Farming Forward
Family and Farming
Pathalogical Narcassism (Control freak)and the damage it causes to family members
This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
Accept
Learn more…
Top