Dealer
Member
- Location
- Shropshire
I thought 3 wheel marks
Front wheel back wheel and plough wheel
Excuse was a stone jumped out on him.
Front wheel back wheel and plough wheel
Excuse was a stone jumped out on him.
Ploughing Banter - aka did the earth move for you ;)
- Thread starter Dealer
- Start date
Ray996
Member
- Location
- North Scotland
Defenit wheel mark er Roy
Sorry to disappoint Ray but best I can do on this one is my daughter was born on Burns night 1983. (25th Jan for't uninitiated)
Doubtless another poem will appear in due course
Ray996
Member
- Location
- North Scotland
He he nice one lad ,the crack was good in cricklewood but better still in bettyhill! Wee village up here by the way!
massey765
Member
- Location
- nr clitheroe lancs
By hell judge thall answer t'out
Ray996
Member
- Location
- North Scotland
He's a poet don't ya know it
Oh, the craic was good in Cricklewood and they wouldn't leave the Crown
With glasses flying and Biddys crying 'cause Paddy was going to town
Oh mother dear, I'm over here and I'm never coming back
What keeps me here is the reek o' beer, the ladies and the craic
I come from county Kerry, the land of eggs and bacon
And if you think I'll eat your fish and chips, oh dear, then you're mistaken...
Used to be a massive fan of the Dubliners - God bless him Ronnie Drew - and used to get this all the time while working for Sharkey Bros from Leeds, all over the country sinking shafts. (when a were a lad) The bit just posted is part of a spoken preface to the song.
Just keep smiling and always remember
"There is nothing more lonesome sombre or drear, than to stand in the bar of a pub with no beer"
Looks like he never split.
Dangerous job this ploughing lark since ivverybugger got mobile phones innit!
Its nearly as dangerous as living in Trumpton an ivverbody knows theers a fire there ivveryday
As far as' stone goes then it must a bin a helluva long stone!!
Dealer
Member
- Location
- Shropshire
Roy Stokes
Member
- Location
- East Shropshire
Roy Stokes
Member
- Location
- East Shropshire
Please tell us more !!.............................................................................
Please tell us more !!.............................................................................
Civil engineering old bean... the greater trouble being that there has never really been anything civil about it.
Mrichardson
Member
Come on rusty nuts, give me a clue, who are you? The next time we meet give me a wink with your right eye, I won't tell anyone who you are!
I have narrowed you down to one of a hundred, because you obviously no about me selling one cat 3 times at £40!!
Let's get back to SOP bashing and start promoting charity matches that donate money to good causes! SOP have never to my knowledge given a penny away in my 60 years of funding them!!
Anyone with a charity which I can donate my cat money to, or it will go to pussingham palace.
John plowright would do for a start with all the money he has earned over the last 3 years for SOP. John can organise a ploughing match in 10 days and donate £700 to cancer!
There's something wrong somewhere!!!
I have narrowed you down to one of a hundred, because you obviously no about me selling one cat 3 times at £40!!
Let's get back to SOP bashing and start promoting charity matches that donate money to good causes! SOP have never to my knowledge given a penny away in my 60 years of funding them!!
Anyone with a charity which I can donate my cat money to, or it will go to pussingham palace.
John plowright would do for a start with all the money he has earned over the last 3 years for SOP. John can organise a ploughing match in 10 days and donate £700 to cancer!
There's something wrong somewhere!!!
Mrichardson
Member
Just one more cat story!!
I am thinking about buying that cat back and hiring it out at £20 per day to anyone who wants dogs removing from there yard!!
This cat can ride any dog from a jack Russell to a Great Dane! When this cat walked down the yard all the dogs would disappear!!
I have seen dogs do forward rolls, back flips and summer salts to get this cat off there backs!
Any suggestions of who could do with a visit from this cat!?!
I am thinking about buying that cat back and hiring it out at £20 per day to anyone who wants dogs removing from there yard!!
This cat can ride any dog from a jack Russell to a Great Dane! When this cat walked down the yard all the dogs would disappear!!
I have seen dogs do forward rolls, back flips and summer salts to get this cat off there backs!
Any suggestions of who could do with a visit from this cat!?!
Tafe Tractorman
Member
- Location
- Leicestershire
Dealer
Member
- Location
- Shropshire
I hope it can mow new grass seeds as well.
Howard goes to Headingley....(a short poem)
This eers a tale might raise a smile
Recently a feller rang me
“Said young man I need a shed
Call in soon we can talk an ave a cup of tea”
Theere n'then we made t'appointment
For t'next Friday week
“I'm in Tockwith just near Wetheby
Its not hard ter seek”
On't due day A set off early
Not wantin ter be late
Allus best ter be on time
Once ye'v set a date.
“Good mornin Howard
My names Pete
This eers Roy, my architect n’ planner
Thanks fer cummin – really really nice to meet an greet”
“Now then Howard I must say
Thats a proper Yorkshire name
Is tha from't Castle out near York?
The one thats called the same?”
Imagine my shock horror finding out
Comes from Oldham – what yer like
Not from Yorkshire - owert brew
Im not being a proper Tyke
He said don’t worry Howard, noting my concern
Iv'e bin adopted see
I’m a Director o' that Yorkshire bastion
Our own and very famous, beloved YCCC!
YORKSHIRE COUNTY CRICKET CLUB!
Now who’d ave ever thowght!
To work fer 'im then what an honour!
(Still it won’t get done for nowt!)
Just in general discourse, talkin as yer do
Confided in me – honest speakin to be fair
“We ave some problems with our pitch
Wickets shot its getting poor n'somewhat rather bare”
“Imagine Herbert Sutcliffe, Illingworth, Close n’ Hutton
Fiery Fred (sometimes known to get irate)
All frownin down dismayed at this old hallowed wicket
How its let ter get in such a state”
This is hardly cricket!
He said “Not wishing to be rude”
"Tha looks an agricultural breed”
“Appens tha knows best place we can get
A bag o yon grass seed”
Ye’ve appened on’t right feller
No sooiner said than done
I ave a mate who has a pal
Sells grass seed by the tonne
A ley for every purpose - leisure, dairy too
This mans an inspiration
A new variety he just got
An its called compensation
This new variety’s summat else
Its properties amazing
All the benefits of Westerwold as well as bin’
More durable for playing on or grazing!
Compensation will indeed
All your purpose meet
Its growth rate can be measured
More in terms of feet
Not only can a sort yer t’seed
I ave some tractors, RSLD number 9 an a TS86
A former British champion, acomplished and proud
When it comes to ploughing, I know all’ot tricks
Imagine all my childhood dreams
My chest stuck out wi’ pride
To set a rig on hallowed ground
Inch perfect finishes either side!
Them RND’s beyond compare on grass
Seamed it out skimmed it proper way
Int ivvery day tha gits ter plough
A hundred year old ley!
Head groundsman scowled, a dour sort
Not kind to take cajoling
“Mek sure them furr holes and that rig
Run both same way as’t bowling”
When it was duly sowed n’ rolled
Afore too long it grew
And grew and grew and grew and grew
To’t very consternation of all o’them as knew
We’ll ave to get new ride on mowers
To handle this a’d say
An put em all on double shifts
To keep this lot at bay!
It wan’t that long afore all’t groundsmen
Were complaining - in a rage
“And them wi all this overtime
Bet they wont moan ower their next wage!”
One o’t groundsmen kicking stones
He looked a proper brute
Said this is bound to slow down’t wicket
If it gets ower long we’ll need a lifeline on Joe Root
Another one more amenable
Wi a profile slightly fuller
Said by eck dun’t this grow fast
An such a bonny colour
‘What about t’ Directors
If they begin to shout?’
“Just rustle up some proxy votes
An’ kick them jokers out!”
What about t’accountant
He’s done a daftish deed
He’s entered compensation in our books
But wrote it as grass seed!
‘All these goins on whatever next am fair dun in
A could do a proper brew
A wouldn’t mind an ice cream either’
“Accountant he knows just the man can sort all that lot too”
‘Accountant says to watch our spending
You know how bad it looks’
The caterer and ice cream man that he knows
Needn’t allus show in’t books”
Tha needs ter ask thi accountant
With his nitpicking and and his thrift
Why Catering and ice cream is donations and concessions
If you cotton on an’ get my drift
Nivver ivver have I heard
Such a tale afore
Concessions is just rates reduced
For pensioners payin cash ont door
Tween thee and me yon accountant
Needs takin close in hand
An maybe swappin for someone writes honest books
As folk can understand
Members won’t believe the books
It’s a sad day for our club
As honest institutions go
Then this was allus quite a hub
The moral of this story is
If tha deals in large amounts
Mek sure its allus written honest, right
In them there damned accounts!
Good thing about all these poems
All this wit and an all this strife
Could never happen in real life…….
An if yer believe that you’ll believe owt!
This eers a tale might raise a smile
Recently a feller rang me
“Said young man I need a shed
Call in soon we can talk an ave a cup of tea”
Theere n'then we made t'appointment
For t'next Friday week
“I'm in Tockwith just near Wetheby
Its not hard ter seek”
On't due day A set off early
Not wantin ter be late
Allus best ter be on time
Once ye'v set a date.
“Good mornin Howard
My names Pete
This eers Roy, my architect n’ planner
Thanks fer cummin – really really nice to meet an greet”
“Now then Howard I must say
Thats a proper Yorkshire name
Is tha from't Castle out near York?
The one thats called the same?”
Imagine my shock horror finding out
Comes from Oldham – what yer like
Not from Yorkshire - owert brew
Im not being a proper Tyke
He said don’t worry Howard, noting my concern
Iv'e bin adopted see
I’m a Director o' that Yorkshire bastion
Our own and very famous, beloved YCCC!
YORKSHIRE COUNTY CRICKET CLUB!
Now who’d ave ever thowght!
To work fer 'im then what an honour!
(Still it won’t get done for nowt!)
Just in general discourse, talkin as yer do
Confided in me – honest speakin to be fair
“We ave some problems with our pitch
Wickets shot its getting poor n'somewhat rather bare”
“Imagine Herbert Sutcliffe, Illingworth, Close n’ Hutton
Fiery Fred (sometimes known to get irate)
All frownin down dismayed at this old hallowed wicket
How its let ter get in such a state”
This is hardly cricket!
He said “Not wishing to be rude”
"Tha looks an agricultural breed”
“Appens tha knows best place we can get
A bag o yon grass seed”
Ye’ve appened on’t right feller
No sooiner said than done
I ave a mate who has a pal
Sells grass seed by the tonne
A ley for every purpose - leisure, dairy too
This mans an inspiration
A new variety he just got
An its called compensation
This new variety’s summat else
Its properties amazing
All the benefits of Westerwold as well as bin’
More durable for playing on or grazing!
Compensation will indeed
All your purpose meet
Its growth rate can be measured
More in terms of feet
Not only can a sort yer t’seed
I ave some tractors, RSLD number 9 an a TS86
A former British champion, acomplished and proud
When it comes to ploughing, I know all’ot tricks
Imagine all my childhood dreams
My chest stuck out wi’ pride
To set a rig on hallowed ground
Inch perfect finishes either side!
Them RND’s beyond compare on grass
Seamed it out skimmed it proper way
Int ivvery day tha gits ter plough
A hundred year old ley!
Head groundsman scowled, a dour sort
Not kind to take cajoling
“Mek sure them furr holes and that rig
Run both same way as’t bowling”
When it was duly sowed n’ rolled
Afore too long it grew
And grew and grew and grew and grew
To’t very consternation of all o’them as knew
We’ll ave to get new ride on mowers
To handle this a’d say
An put em all on double shifts
To keep this lot at bay!
It wan’t that long afore all’t groundsmen
Were complaining - in a rage
“And them wi all this overtime
Bet they wont moan ower their next wage!”
One o’t groundsmen kicking stones
He looked a proper brute
Said this is bound to slow down’t wicket
If it gets ower long we’ll need a lifeline on Joe Root
Another one more amenable
Wi a profile slightly fuller
Said by eck dun’t this grow fast
An such a bonny colour
‘What about t’ Directors
If they begin to shout?’
“Just rustle up some proxy votes
An’ kick them jokers out!”
What about t’accountant
He’s done a daftish deed
He’s entered compensation in our books
But wrote it as grass seed!
‘All these goins on whatever next am fair dun in
A could do a proper brew
A wouldn’t mind an ice cream either’
“Accountant he knows just the man can sort all that lot too”
‘Accountant says to watch our spending
You know how bad it looks’
The caterer and ice cream man that he knows
Needn’t allus show in’t books”
Tha needs ter ask thi accountant
With his nitpicking and and his thrift
Why Catering and ice cream is donations and concessions
If you cotton on an’ get my drift
Nivver ivver have I heard
Such a tale afore
Concessions is just rates reduced
For pensioners payin cash ont door
Tween thee and me yon accountant
Needs takin close in hand
An maybe swappin for someone writes honest books
As folk can understand
Members won’t believe the books
It’s a sad day for our club
As honest institutions go
Then this was allus quite a hub
The moral of this story is
If tha deals in large amounts
Mek sure its allus written honest, right
In them there damned accounts!
Good thing about all these poems
All this wit and an all this strife
Could never happen in real life…….
An if yer believe that you’ll believe owt!
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