Serious question!

Location
Wales
Seemed only appropriate to put this in this section...
I have a serious question and I really need a good sound opinion on it tbh. I have a friend I have known about a year, he's married btw. I met him via selling some animals. Lovely bloke an all, brilliant sense of humour. We have the best banter and such, he did flirt with me once but apologised. Thing is he has said to me his wife wouldn't approve of us messaging but we still message. I've met his wife, she is lovely and she is best pals with a good friend and customer of mine. I don't want to offend his wife or anything, or indeed lose a customer at all. But I also don't want to offend my friend either. We have good laughs and such, message quite regularly. However if his wife wouldn't be happy with it if she knew... I feel uncomfortable knowing that. I'm in a bit of a dilemma tbh, do I stop messaging him? Or do I carry on? Or if I do message him just keep it business. I have no intentions of breaking up a marriage at all, I'm not like that, but him saying that has put me in an awkward position. :( Any advice appreciated!
Thanks
 

MB Trac

Member
Location
South Africa
Seemed only appropriate to put this in this section...
I have a serious question and I really need a good sound opinion on it tbh. I have a friend I have known about a year, he's married btw. I met him via selling some animals. Lovely bloke an all, brilliant sense of humour. We have the best banter and such, he did flirt with me once but apologised. Thing is he has said to me his wife wouldn't approve of us messaging but we still message. I've met his wife, she is lovely and she is best pals with a good friend and customer of mine. I don't want to offend his wife or anything, or indeed lose a customer at all. But I also don't want to offend my friend either. We have good laughs and such, message quite regularly. However if his wife wouldn't be happy with it if she knew... I feel uncomfortable knowing that. I'm in a bit of a dilemma tbh, do I stop messaging him? Or do I carry on? Or if I do message him just keep it business. I have no intentions of breaking up a marriage at all, I'm not like that, but him saying that has put me in an awkward position. :( Any advice appreciated!
Thanks
Playing with fire - someone will end up getting burnt, most probably you. If he admits his wife wouldn't approve, why does he still do it. I know you see it as something innocent, but if his wife sees the messages it will most probably be taken out of context and it wouldn't look that innocent to her. You could lose more than a friend / customer, you could be losing your good name. Try to keep the messages business related, its for the best.


You could always message me instead , my wife doesn't mind if other women send me messages:ROFLMAO:
 
Location
Wales
Playing with fire - someone will end up getting burnt, most probably you. If he admits his wife wouldn't approve, why does he still do it. I know you see it as something innocent, but if his wife sees the messages it will most probably be taken out of context and it wouldn't look that innocent to her. You could lose more than a friend / customer, you could be losing your good name. Try to keep the messages business related, its for the best.


You could always message me instead , my wife doesn't mind if other women send me messages:ROFLMAO:
You're right :)

Thanks guys for the advice. Pretty much told me what I was thinking, thanks for the clarity :)

:ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO::ROFLMAO:
I tend to talk about business a lot so you'd prolly get bored lol
 
Location
Wales
If it was your husband sending and receiving flirty messages to I assume a younger lady. How would you feel when you found out?
I have thought of it from that perspective also. I wouldn't like it tbh. Actually he's 40 and im 21, so yeah quite a few years younger. Believe me I have tried to make sure it's not flirty, but I guess anything can be taken in the wrong light can't it? Ik it's not good. Thanks for pointing it out. I will stop! Even if he doesn't
 
Location
Wales
Agree with above....innocent or not if the wife would be upset about it its a definite no-no......and tbh he shouldn't really be putting you in that position either if he knows she would be annoyed. I think you should just call it a day .........
I'm as bad too tho. I was messaging him past week and he was messaging back. Problem is if I update my FB status about having a hard day he contacts to see if am alright. Yup gonna deal with it very soon! ASAP
 
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country_gal

Member
Location
Scotland
I'm as bad too tho. I was messaging him past week and he was messaging back. Problem is if I update my FB status about having a hard day he contacts to see if am alright. Yup gonna deal with it very soon! ASAP
Well yes. But if he knew it would upset his wife he shouldn't do it. And now that you know it would you need to put a stop to it. It's not a nice feeling having your partner continue to do something they know would hurt you.
 
Location
Wales
I asked mum for advice just now, she's away at the minute. I asked her if I should wait till he messages to tell him, as it's been really bugging me, or to message him out of the blue. She said to wait till he messages to tell him... Please tell me am doing the right thing, in taking this advice!:unsure:
 

country_gal

Member
Location
Scotland
I asked mum for advice just now, she's away at the minute. I asked her if I should wait till he messages to tell him, as it's been really bugging me, or to message him out of the blue. She said to wait till he messages to tell him... Please tell me am doing the right thing, in taking this advice!:unsure:
I agree. Wait until he messages then tell him it has to stop xx
 

country_gal

Member
Location
Scotland
He told you his wife wouldn't approve, and he flirted with you - even if he then apologised.

My gut tells me:
Regardless of the age, he is playing with fire (and you) and was trying to see how you would respond and if you would initiate. If he saw any positive sign from you, he would advance.



Distance yourself, and make it clear why.
Well I never.....I'm impressed with this niths
 

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