The Queens, reps and the patter.

[DrWazzock]

I remember as child of 7 or 8, I was sat in my maternal grandfather's house shortly after he had died. I think it was 1976, as the cattle were eating straw from mangers in the fields. It was a rented farm so the stock and machinery were being sold off, and my father, up to neck in sh!t and scrap, was outside sorting it all out as grandfather had died with his boots on. The land agent, a commercially ruthless but amiable man was with me in the kitchen as he was interviewing prospective managers there to run the farm in hand for the landlord, a certain Lord of the realm and member of the Tory governement. A prospective manager arrived in the yard in his car along with his wife and family. The agent turned to me and said "That man has got the job already. Look how clean his car is. Look how well turned out he and his family are." And sure enough that man did turn out to be an excellent manager.

That observation stuck with me for the rest of my life. I noted that appearance really did matter to other people and said a lot about you. (I also decided that it would be preferable, if at all possible, not to have to work for somebody else or rent land from anybody, if, like me and my father, personal appearance was never a strong point or particularly high on the list of priorities.)

I also recall his Lordship visiting the farm while my grandfather was alive. My grandfather asked him something regarding the farm and his Lordship gestured towards the agent and said "I don't keep a dog and bark myself." All life's lessons there to be seen and heard if you kept your ears open.

 

[AvonValleyFarmer]

Personally I could care less how somebody addresses me, within reason, be that First name, Surname or even mate.
Don't really mind if they are wearing a tie or their best maroon cords.

But... If I am dealing with somebody and they have their arms crossed and they are looking at my feet then the deals off.

No handshake is also a no deal.

 

[Deerefarmer]

Personally I could care less how somebody addresses me, within reason, be that First name, Surname or even mate.
Don't really mind if they are wearing a tie or their best maroon cords.

But... If I am dealing with somebody and they have their arms crossed and they are looking at my feet then the deals off.

No handshake is also a no deal.

Agreed.
And you'd better be able to confidently look me in the eye without twitching and blinking and your handshake better be firm and genuine.
In today's world you cant really judge a man by his dress, with relaxed dress code and all.
The eyes are the mirror of the heart.

 

[stewart]

Reading some of the above posts there are some very shallow people out there. It does however give me an indication as to why British farmers are struggling, when they are more interested in what someone wears or how they speak than they are in their ability to get the job done.

 

[wasted years]

Absolutely serious, it’s all about standards.
My late mother took great exception to representatives who might be at the kitchen table doing business with my father who did not stand up to acknowledge mother if she entered the room. A gentleman should always stand to acknowledge and meet a lady.

Your late mother sounds brilliant, I like that, my mother was a strong woman, I used to call her a reverse feminist.

 

[An Gof]

Your late mother sounds brilliant, I like that, my mother was a strong woman, I used to call her a reverse feminist.

Thank you, i think it must be family trait. Both my sister and aunt can prove to be rather formidable

 

[Lazy Sod]

Now, if you'd said 'fing'

Half the population think that 'fing' means 'thing'. The idiots are just too lazy to pronounce it properly

 

[Lazy Sod]

I was sat

You were not sat you were sitting. Was and sat are both past tense, you don't need to infer it twice.

 

[Highland Mule]

Half the population think that 'fing' means 'thing'. The idiots are just too lazy to pronounce it properly

Without wishing to go off tangent, the sentence structure was such that 'fing' was most likely an adjective, and hence a contraction of the word 'effing' or 'f***ing'.

 

[Lazy Sod]

Yes, I realise that, but couldn't resist it. All of my ancestors were peasants, but I have been elivated from peasant to pedant.

 

[Nearly]

Yes, I realise that, but couldn't resist it. All of my ancestors were peasants, but I have been elevated from peasant to pedant.

 

[DrWazzock]

You were not sat you were sitting. Was and sat are both past tense, you don't need to infer it twice.

I used the stative form of the verb subconsciously to indicate that I didn't have a great deal of choice. I was sat in the house (by the actions of my parents). There is some debate as to whether "I was sat" is grammatically correct or not. It is more prevalent in northern areas.

Chaucer used this form in his work Cursor Mundi when he wrote "the folk ware satte ."

 

[ollie989898]

Number one thing I learned early is that you speak to all parties as equals, be it son, daughter, father or mother. You often have no clue as to who the actual decision maker is, they might even do it by committee. Therefore address each individual in the same way. In some cases it was interesting to see their perception of the business or their individual hopes or even dreams for the future. Not only that, but developing a relationship with the son or daughter was a way of future-proofing the business relationship in future.

In fairness, I did find often find it refreshing to understand the perspective of others. Mother would want A because of B. So maybe you could aid them in finding a way to accommodate that. It is always a two-way conversation, and it's not your train-set either. Never forget that.

And is it just a West country thing, people always going to the back door rather than the front? It is virtually ubiquitous around here.

 

[ollie989898]

I look fine thanks
What people wear sets the tone. Many state schools abandoned traditional uniform favouring more relaxed clothing such as sweat shirts. This had ramifications. It is interesting that many of these schools are now reverting to a more traditional uniform. It makes a difference.

I can think of several professionals who have never worn a shirt and tie to work in their lives and have no intention of starting. One even remarked that he is saving his shirt and tie so he can be buried in it.

It is possible for people to over-do it as well. For example, arriving at a particular situation wearing a Rolex or a £500 pair of shoes (I can spot these) can often reveal a lot about a persons state of mind and psychological outlook long before they open their mouths.

To be honest it is all old hat to me now anyway, and I feel as comfortable in posh shoes, wellies or slippers; often I used to walk around in various scenarios with no shoes on at all for reasons linked to my own personal amusement. I also found it quite interesting to study people's body language and then see how they react if you mirror it.

 

[An Gof]

I can think of several professionals who have never worn a shirt and tie to work in their lives and have no intention of starting. One even remarked that he is saving his shirt and tie so he can be buried in it.

It is possible for people to over-do it as well. For example, arriving at a particular situation wearing a Rolex or a £500 pair of shoes (I can spot these) can often reveal a lot about a persons state of mind and psychological outlook long before they open their mouths.

To be honest it is all old hat to me now anyway, and I feel as comfortable in posh shoes, wellies or slippers; often I used to walk around in various scenarios with no shoes on at all for reasons linked to my own personal amusement. I also found it quite interesting to study people's body language and then see how they react if you mirror it.

How did you know that I wear a Rolex and have a penchant for expensive RM Williams boots?

 

[Lazy Sod]

There is some debate as to whether "I was sat" is grammatically correct or not. It is more prevalent in northern areas.

The misuse of "sat", and for that matter "stood", in this way is becoming increasingly common, even among broadcasters who should know better. It is the use of the unnecessary "was" that I object to. You should say either "I sat" or "I was sitting". I don't think that the language of Chaucer's day is relevant.

 

[DrWazzock]

The misuse of "sat", and for that matter "stood", in this way is becoming increasingly common, even among broadcasters who should know better. It is the use of the unnecessary "was" that I object to. You should say either "I sat" or "I was sitting". I don't think that the language of Chaucer's day is relevant.

It's a northern thing. It also indicates that the person didn't have much choice in the matter, was passive rather than active.

For example,

"I was sat in the aisle, even though I had asked (two past tenses there, it's called the pluperfect) for a window seat."

indicates that the stewardess had sat me there against my wishes.

"I was sitting in the aisle even though I had asked for a window seat."

indicates that I had asked for a window seat but changed my mind and decided of my own free will to sit in the aisle.

So I think there is a use for "I was sat".

Interesting though. Languages evolve through usage and dialect. There is no "queens English" as such. It's organic though many people have tried and failed to produce a definitive set of rules.

Back to beet harvesting.

 

[Two Tone]

Our Queen has a house in Norfolk called Sandringham. Some Norfolk folk speak in a dialect that might confuse a few, including the Queen!
Here is a story we might find familiar told in a Norfolk way:

Apologies to anyone who’s never heard a Norfolk accent before!

 

[Tractorstant]

Can't believe no one has posted this!

 

[Rossymons]

Number one thing I learned early is that you speak to all parties as equals, be it son, daughter, father or mother. You often have no clue as to who the actual decision maker is, they might even do it by committee. Therefore address each individual in the same way. In some cases it was interesting to see their perception of the business or their individual hopes or even dreams for the future. Not only that, but developing a relationship with the son or daughter was a way of future-proofing the business relationship in future.

In fairness, I did find often find it refreshing to understand the perspective of others. Mother would want A because of B. So maybe you could aid them in finding a way to accommodate that. It is always a two-way conversation, and it's not your train-set either. Never forget that.

And is it just a West country thing, people always going to the back door rather than the front? It is virtually ubiquitous around here.

The amount of companies that lost business here because they only wanted to speak to Dad was frightening. Absolute morons. Usually of a certain generation too.