THINGS FOUND IN FIELDS

[vantage]

Is it just me wondering how you know it had been used

It was flat, obviously!

 

[melted welly]

got a capped borehole that became over grown and couldn’t find it, so I got my cheapo metal detector out and swept the vicinity.
Sure enough, got a pretty strong beep about where the cap should be.


Dug and dug until hit something pink, a kind of fibre glass tube with a ball joint on it.
Dug some more and it appears someone had buried a pile of old shop dummies ?

previous chap must’ve used them as scarecrows.

 

[Kidds]

Is it just me wondering how you know it had been used

It had a runny nose

 

[Red Fred]

found a large black horse cock dildo whilst ploughing along side local council estate. thew it into the nearest garden, i would have loved to hear what was said when the kids asked whats this?

My dog found a regular sized pink one on the river bank last year when I was checking the site for our archaeological society annual barbeque (picture lots of Miss Marple type old ladies) . One wag suggested one of them might have left it there after the previous year's barbie.
Mum used to cook sunday dinner for all of us and various elderly friends came along if they were on their own. One of her old codgers was a keen bird spotter and used to tell us what he had seen on his walks around our hedges. One day, he turned up very excited and said "Guess what, I was alongside the gravel pit and found a bag full of pornographic magazines. I never knew those Asian girls had such magnificently hairy p++++++...." Cue the repressed titters until mum tactfully changed the subject.

 

[teslacoils]

My daddy brought an old mobile phone to the surface that he'd dropped out of his pocket five years previously.

I've found a dead body. Thing is, it didn't start off dead. Car drive into a gateway well used for dumping / shagging / picnics. Thought nothing of it as I was a field away discing. Few hours later blue lights etc - chap had shoved a pipe in the exhaust and topped himself. I was 17 maybe, so a while back. Field has been known as suicide field ever since.

 

[Extreme Optimist]

Had a guy here hung himself from a tree in one of our fields. That was bad enough, but he had tied a German Shepherd to each of his feet and they had nibbled his toes off whilst trying to escape. His family trek across the fields every year and put flowers and Man Utd scarves and photos up against the tree. This is Newcastle........don't need any of this Man Utd rubbish around!!

 

[Two Tone]

Had a guy here hung himself from a tree in one of our fields. That was bad enough, but he had tied a German Shepherd to each of his feet and they had nibbled his toes off whilst trying to escape. His family trek across the fields every year and put flowers and Man Utd scarves and photos up against the tree. This is Newcastle........don't need any of this Man Utd rubbish around!!

My wife’s father was A Solicitor in Thirsk and the Coroner for North Yorkshire and wrote a book called On view of the body. Rather than being morbid, it was an amusing look at his job and how people try yo kill themselves. One day he was called out by the Police to look at a bloke who had hung himself in a wood. He had selected a tree branch to throw the rope over, then dragged some walling stone to build something to jump off. When my father-in-law arrived at the scene, he asked the Policeman where the unfortunate chap was and was told that he was right in front of him.
As he’d jumped off the the stones, the tree branch had bent just enough that the guy looked like he was standing up!

 

[texelburger]

My son was spreading AD digestive at a local farm and found a DJI Mavic drone. He brought it home downloaded the video to the laptop and worked out where it had taken off from and went there with it the next day. Owner was over the moon as it was brand new and he'd searched high and low. Gave him £80 as a reward for bringing it back and being honest.

I was cleaning out the stone trap of our combine during harvest a few years ago and found a mangled drone.It must have come down in the wheat crop and I missed seeing it.

 

[Kidds]

His family trek across the fields every year and put flowers and Man Utd scarves and photos up against the tree.

It puzzles me why people choose to remember their loved ones by making a shrine out of the place they met their (usually horrible) end. Nobody ever does it by putting flowers at the side of the bed where they popped off quietly in their sleep.
How come they don't choose to mark that something nice happened in their lives?
I don't ever remember any of my loved ones that have gone by making a pilgrimage to wherever they met their early end.

In the case of the above why not go to a Man U match and sing extra loud instead?

 

[Bald Rick]

silver capsules are gas (laughing gas i think) that kids use to get a high

Front page of today’s Sunday Times... apparently only one firm in U.K. fills and distributes these.
Boss says he spends his days weeding out fake orders from crims. Guess a small coffee shop ordering over 38,000 capsules and a farm shop over 1m is a bit of a giveaway

 

[Bald Rick]

Inflatable doll. Used

It will clean.

 

[Pushdyke]

Golf balls, found them regularly up to a couple of years ago,not found any lately.

Funny thing is no one here plays golf and the nearest golf course is at least five miles away as the crow flies.

 

[quattro]

Golf balls, found them regularly up to a couple of years ago,not found any lately.

Funny thing is no one here plays golf and the nearest golf course is at least five miles away as the crow flies.

Seen crows round her carry them and also chickens eggs

 

[ImLost]

Golf balls, found them regularly up to a couple of years ago,not found any lately.

Funny thing is no one here plays golf and the nearest golf course is at least five miles away as the crow flies.

Someone has got a strong swing.

 

[grumpyoldman]

Someone dumped a stash of porn by one of our test sites. We're not talking about a carrier bag of old Fiesta magazines either, it must have been a good pallet load of grot mags that were of such specialist subject matter it would have made your average aficionado of German or Dutch hardcore niche porn throw up. No attempt was made to hide it, it was just dumped in the middle of one of the fields that skirt the test site.

??

 

[yellowbelly]

some gamekeeper will probably get blamed for shooting it

No
It was a young bird, in good nick - laid in the right place as if it had hit those wires

 

[Fast Farmer]

We had one of those turn up on one of our lakes too (we called him Ian). We obviously didn’t tell anyone, or the place would be full of bloody twitchers from the town, but unfortunately they got wind anyway, a few turned up uninvited and he didn’t hang around long after that.
Don’t tell anyone, but we have spotted him a couple of times since.?

Oh, and somebody found a human skull in the mud by the other lake a few years ago. Much excitement while local CID (that’s the bright ones?) found the farm, before they sent the skull off to their specialist dating guys at Llandod.
When the report came back the ‘specialists’ had managed to narrow it down to a juvenile/teenage person that had died at some time between 1700 and 1950. I came to the conclusion that they lie on Silent Witness.?

Found a picture

 

[Cowslip]

We had a glossy ibis on our muck heap for a couple of months, it's feathers were lovely but it's head was really ugly, rspb reserve next door were gutted it was on our farm and not on their reserve ?

 

[Nearly]

Once found a boat.
Bit Off A Tractor.

(c) Detectorists 2014

 

[spanners and hammers]

a 10 tank buster plane , they spent weeks walking fields picking up bullets