Things that make you sad

[Sussex Martin]

There is also great happiness to be found in altruistically helping others. I've drawn great happiness from random acts of kindness, not always money related either.

I also do random acts of kindness as well, nowadays when people pee me off I count to ten when a few years ago I would have just smacked them one .

 

[suffolksmallholder]

Im not really in a fit state to write anything sensible as I've had a few 'glasses' of Merlot with my Aussie daughter this evening, which is pleasant as she turned up unexpected last week. We're just going through the big family change with my mother in hospital & father being put in an old folks home with dementia. All this in a week......a bit confusing.....
SS

 

[holywell farmer]

People who lie and take advantage of people

Scum, often there lowlife and enjoy taking what isn't there's

 

[Old Boar]

A few years ago I was going through a really tough time, and was seething with anger at the unfairness of it all. The old "I am a nice person, I have never done any harm, so why did this shyte hit me" sort of thing. I went through months of being very unhappy and furious. Then I read an article which changed my thinking dramatically.
It was up to me to be happy. It is that simple. I could choose to be upset, sad, and angry, or I could choose to be happy, content and fulfilled. I chose the latter and have stuck to that. I take joy in the little things, laugh a lot, giggle to myself over daft things I do rather than get cross with myself. I enjoy my own company.
Of course some stuff makes me sad, but then I look at the reason behind why I am sad, and it is usually a selfish reason.
I hope this helps just one other person to chose to be happy rather than sad - life is too short to waste by anger, whatever the reason.

 

[ridger]

@kernowcluck been thinking about you this evening how are you doing?

 

[Rossymons]

I've found having a nap useful. Sounds crazy but I treat like a mental wipe. I'll probably be chasing a dozen thoughts around my head. Go have a nap - sometimes I have to force sleep on me and just shut my eyes and keep them shut.

Give it 15 mins whatever is in my head needs attention. Go from there.

 

[Campbell]

Don't you often find that folks who give the most are the ones with the least spare time to give it. That's not sad by the way.

 

[Baker9]

When your in your 30's you think there is plenty of time left, when your 40 you think about time you did some of those things in your bucket list, but when your approaching 50, you wonder where the hell the last 20-30 years have gone.

And when you are approaching 60 you realise how much you need to do in the next 20 odd years and sod this retiring at 65 lark, there is far too much to do. I think that I am turning into my dad.

 

[64farmer giles]

A few times I have been tempted to post things but they didn't fit into the "make you smile" or "grind your gears" thread so.......

I find it so sad that Dad has come to the point where he can no longer do any significant useful work around the farm each day. At 84 his body has finally had enough and I find it just so sad to hear him say things like "I'm useless" and "It's all just beyond me now". Last week he did manage half an hour of topping the driveway and he mowed his lawn this week but that's about it in the last 8 weeks.

Just because he can't do the physical stuff any more doesn't make him useless, he's got a lifetimes experience to call on. Ask him about decisions you have to make on the farm, make him feel useful.

 

[64farmer giles]

My old man is 80 and not in brilliant nick. We get on well but there is a load he can't do any more and sometimes I wince when he is on the chainsaw etc. but what can you say? I'll probably be the same. Telling him he can't use a chainsaw any more and to go and sit inside would be worse for him than hacking his leg off probably. Very difficult.

We get on well but disagree on every single thing that ever was. Makes it very difficult as it's my place now and my living and I have to support my family where he has savings from the sale of the mojority of the farm and will never want for anything. My wife says I need to engage with him and get him to help were he can but the problem is doing jobs with him just drives me nuts. We don't fall out, I'm not like that but I just want to do stuff on my own. Essentially anything I say or suggest he will disagree with and this is on MY farm. I know it was his once and that must be hard but what I find difficult is that he won't budge an inch. I'll budge a mile if I can make him happy but I've still got to make the ultimate calls on what goes on. He doesn't see the bank account or pay the bills any more.

I don't know. I'm a bit stuck. People will say 'just talk to him about how you feel'. Those people don't know him like I do. So what do I do with a stubborn old bugger who really wants to be involved, I get on well with outside of the work situation but can't help disagreeing, criticizing and so on and so on and so on. I made a list of all the things which had changed since I took on the place from trimming the hedges a foot higher to positions of gates and fences. There wasn't a single thing that he hadn't told me was a mistake and he uses that word a lot. It's not like it changes what I do. If the job fails, it'll be down to me.

I think what really hacks me off is that he has a hell of a lot to offer. But it's all wasted as I don't take any notice of anything he says because he HAS to disagree with me. That's just depressing. I want to involve him. I want to learn from him and I want him to do what he really wants to do at his own pace but it's almost like he won't let me (or him) have that. Any suggestions welcomed.

More than one way to skin a cat, do what I did with my dad after he semi retired, if I wanted to do a job on the farm now I said I'd do it later and he always said it wants doing now and to get on with It straight away that way we were both happy, awkward bugger thought he'd got his way and I got to do what I wanted anyway. Mind you when I look in the mirror I see the old man looking back( he died 15 years ago). Note to self don't be like him.

 

[lim x]

Having to make one of the biggest decisions in your life and wishing your Dad was around to discuss it with

 

[milkloss]

Having to make one of the biggest decisions in your life and wishing your Dad was around to discuss it with

I can imagine. Hard enough with some of the smaller decisions too.

You'll be right

 

[Christoph1945]

Lim x,

plenty of farmers in TFF that you can use as sounding boards.............

..........................or.................. you can sit down with a steaming hot brew, imagine dad sitting at the table with you, and describe what is confronting you and ask him what he thinks. You may be surprised by what comes to mind.

It's abit like learning to pray, or using an aswering service; it can be a bit off putting at first but it can become natural after a while.

Chris

 

[jellybean]

A few years ago I was going through a really tough time, and was seething with anger at the unfairness of it all. The old "I am a nice person, I have never done any harm, so why did this shyte hit me" sort of thing. I went through months of being very unhappy and furious. Then I read an article which changed my thinking dramatically.
It was up to me to be happy. It is that simple. I could choose to be upset, sad, and angry, or I could choose to be happy, content and fulfilled. I chose the latter and have stuck to that. I take joy in the little things, laugh a lot, giggle to myself over daft things I do rather than get cross with myself. I enjoy my own company.
Of course some stuff makes me sad, but then I look at the reason behind why I am sad, and it is usually a selfish reason.
I hope this helps just one other person to chose to be happy rather than sad - life is too short to waste by anger, whatever the reason.

I think you have this exactly right. We cannot always change what happens in our lives but we can always choose how we react to it.

 

[Grouse]

A very, very good and long standing friend given not long to live due to terminal cancer.

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Army bids farewell to Lynx helicopter with flypast tour

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-42663383

 

[Watty]

Leaving the Exeter v Montpellier match on Saturday evening to hear someone behind me comment ‘effing cripples’ as I pushed my boy in his wheelchair. My blood pressure went so high I was dizzy and I know if I’d stopped and turned it would have been very messy.
How sad is it that someone can say that. It’s proper knocked him and he said not a word for the hours drive home. As he said later it’s not as if he chooses to be in a wheelchair.

 

[MiJ]

Leaving the Exeter v Montpellier match on Saturday evening to hear someone behind me comment ‘effing cripples’ .....

You sure person wasn’t making the derogatory remark about the match/players?

 

[Watty]

No the Chiefs had just wiped the floor with Montpellier and the speaker didn’t have a French accent. There were about four wheelchairs all leaving the West stand at the same time.

 

[Pasty]

Leaving the Exeter v Montpellier match on Saturday evening to hear someone behind me comment ‘effing cripples’ as I pushed my boy in his wheelchair. My blood pressure went so high I was dizzy and I know if I’d stopped and turned it would have been very messy.
How sad is it that someone can say that. It’s proper knocked him and he said not a word for the hours drive home. As he said later it’s not as if he chooses to be in a wheelchair.

That is f**king disgusting. What you need to remember is that person has something wrong with them to say that. Still not acceptable but it's them that are broken. I'd like to say I can't believe it. I'm sorry that happened. When people put pain on others, it's just a weak way of transferring pain that has been put on them. If it was me, he would have had my heel in his neck.