things that make you smile

[Flossie]

Decided to have a gander through British Dairying (I know-I couldn't find my phone ) whilst I ate my tea (made for me again )
Not once, but twice I found myself scrolling on the paper trying to move it up rather than moving my eyes down the page

 

[Old Boar]

And tomorrow you will come home to find this....

 

[Shovelhands]

And tomorrow you will come home to find this....
View attachment 504726

That's either a very small child or two MASSIVE cats

 

[mushnt grummmble]

Ponder on these imponderables for a minute......
1. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
2. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren't people from Holland called Holes?
3. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
4. If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?
5. If love is blind, why is lingerie so popular?
6. Why is the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. When cheese gets its picture taken, what does it say?
8. Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist but a person who drives a racing car not called a racist?
9. Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?
10. Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?
11. Why isn't the number 11 pronounced onety one? (I like this one alot!)
12. 'I am' is reportedly the shortest sentence in the English language. Could it be that 'I do' is the longest sentence?
13. If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked, doesn't it follow that electricians can be delighted, musicians denoted, cowboys deranged, models deposed, tree surgeons debarked, and dry cleaners depressed?
14. I thought about how mothers feed their babies with tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered if Chinese mothers use toothpicks?
15. Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why don't they just put their pictures on the postage stamps so the postmen can look for them while they deliver the post?
16. You never really learn to swear until you learn to drive.
17. No one ever says, 'It's only a game' when their team is winning.
18. Ever wonder about those people who spend two pound a piece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backwards:
19. Isn't making a smoking section in a restaurant like making a peeing section in a swimming pool?
20. If 4 out of 5 people suffer from diarrhoea, does that mean that one enjoys it?
21. Why if you send something by road it is called a shipment, but when you send it by sea it is called cargo?..

 

[JP1]

 

[Dr. Alkathene]

https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1771134066233881

 

[Hilly]

This made me laugh !

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

This made me laugh !

A bit too true to be funny!

 

[Robigus]

 

[Robigus]

 

[phillipe]

Don't you love your dog,

 

[YorkshireAndrew]

 

[Old Boar]

Wish me luck in this year's London Marathon. I managed 3 hours, 12 minutes and 9 seconds last year. This year I will try to beat that before I get bored and turn over to watch something else.

 

[tinsheet]

Couple of mates just finished the london marathon,
Olly in 2.47
Gary in 3.15 and he was dissapointed
well done chaps

 

[smcapstick]

Been to Arnside, today. Henry ate a whole fish then played on the swings. He has a lovely day!

 

[Robigus]

Wish me luck in this year's London Marathon. I managed 3 hours, 12 minutes and 9 seconds last year. This year I will try to beat that before I get bored and turn over to watch something else.

God, you had me worried there for a moment. You think you know someone.....

 

[JP1]

 

[JP1]

 

[Philip Watkins]

 

[ladycrofter]

Tadpoles! Hundreds of them in the tanks now, growing like mad. Got them out of the pond about a month ago. Still a while to go, hoping to release them back to the pond and also to some other suitable places. There were still thousands of them plus more spawn left in the pond, but it would be surprising if even 1% of them make it to adulthood. They are eating like mad, I reckon lack of food must also be a major cause of mortatily, in addition to diving beetles, birds, etc