- Location
- leics/warks border
A runner coming towards me on my side of the road, I had to stop as a car was coming the other way and he didn't get on the verge until he had to go around me, and stared at me as if I was the one in the wrong place !
things that make you smile
- Thread starter rob1
- Start date
Danllan
Member
- Location
- Sir Gar / Carms
My little girl is not a fan of Cheddar cheese unless cooked, but I insist she eats some when we have a cold lunch. Today she asked, as always, for a 'very small' piece, so I gave her a slice maybe a third the size of the others'. By the time I'd served them and looked back at her, she had the cheese in her hands and was turning it over on itself, so I asked her what she was doing; she replied 'I'm folding it in half to make it smaller.' 
simon-0116
Member
- Location
- Sheffield
Just met a walker head phones on, shaking head like mad cos I'm driving a car on road and she was walking in middle of road
I really hope Santa rewards you fittingly come Christmas. Charity begins at home after all.
Danllan
Member
- Location
- Sir Gar / Carms
We have some horse chestnut saplings from conkers that my children planted which came from a tree I had planted when I was a child.
(They did it just in time too, my tree died rapidly the following year, as some horse chestnuts do...
)I have always been told that it is very difficult to get conkers to germinate and grow into seedlings and then into saplings.
My son and I have managed to get about 10 to grow over a few years, so we are quite chuffed with our successes, all bar that one have been trans planted out onto the farm, hopefully into places that will give them a chance at becoming a mature tree, they are out the way of hedge trimmers, but deer etc I cant control.
The one in the pot came from one of the many chestnut trees that line the outside of one of the parade squares at the Tidworth Army Camp in Wiltshire, I took my son down there for a Scouts/Army badge day back in October. There were hundreds of conkers all over the floor and we couldn't resist picking them up!
My son and I have managed to get about 10 to grow over a few years, so we are quite chuffed with our successes, all bar that one have been trans planted out onto the farm, hopefully into places that will give them a chance at becoming a mature tree, they are out the way of hedge trimmers, but deer etc I cant control.
The one in the pot came from one of the many chestnut trees that line the outside of one of the parade squares at the Tidworth Army Camp in Wiltshire, I took my son down there for a Scouts/Army badge day back in October. There were hundreds of conkers all over the floor and we couldn't resist picking them up!
RushesToo
Member
- Location
- Fingringhoe
Get them out this autumn or they will have anchored themselves to the trough with roots - they may already have done this.....
- Location
- Near Colchester
When I married the current Mrs Pan Mixer I planted 50 acorns, 50 conkers and 50 sycamores as it seemed like the right thing to do.
We have 3 oaks left, two sycamores (which are the biggest of the 3 types) and about 6 horse chestnuts.
The two sycamores were planted out 10 feet apart to be 'hammock trees' which they now are, the trunks are well over a foot diameter at chest height and therefore strong enough to bear my weight in retirement although I am not planning on lounging there just yet.
We have the 3 oaks still where they were heeled in behind the garden shed, they are only about 4 feet apart and are telegraph pole thickness, our 3 children named them after themselves, really two ought to be cut down to give the other space but I haven't the heart to do it especially since two of the children are now living in the pair of cottages where the garden shed was and the oaks are.
A couple of the chestnuts have succumbed to leaf miner in the last few years but are still there with candles on today.
Planting trees is for memories and celebrations too, we married 35 years ago. They give me great pleasure.
A Trebor
Member
- Location
- Isle of Axholme
Baby tawny owls not 10 yards from lounge window
- Location
- SW Scotland
Is it The "Battle of Britain" or "The Killing Fields"?
What a foul day, here, very blustery and wet. Sitting at the dining table, papers spread everywhere, tidying up the VAT quarter.
Looking out onto a lawn that is sheltered by a small wood. Jackdaws, starlings and pied wagtails are strutting about pecking at the lawn. A couple of rabbits are hopping about, nibbling grass. Blown leaves tumbling about on the breeze.
There is an almighty air battle going on though. 20-30 swallows (How can you count them? ) are swooping and diving at low level, just skimming over the surface, feeding on the wing.
Spent valuable time away from my papers trying, and failing, to catch a picture of them. Want to see a blur with wings?
Oh, to be able to fly?
What a foul day, here, very blustery and wet. Sitting at the dining table, papers spread everywhere, tidying up the VAT quarter.
Looking out onto a lawn that is sheltered by a small wood. Jackdaws, starlings and pied wagtails are strutting about pecking at the lawn. A couple of rabbits are hopping about, nibbling grass. Blown leaves tumbling about on the breeze.
There is an almighty air battle going on though. 20-30 swallows (How can you count them? ) are swooping and diving at low level, just skimming over the surface, feeding on the wing.
Spent valuable time away from my papers
trying, and failing, to catch a picture of them. Want to see a blur with wings? Oh, to be able to fly?
Netherfield
Member
- Location
- West Yorkshire
It's sweeping social media and has left people feeling amused as well as puzzled.
For those who haven't seen it, here's that Lidl story in full...
A warning to all: avoid using Lidl in Dewsbury at the moment if you can.
I've just got back from a truly awful shopping trip there.
Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren't distancing once inside the store.
So what some dinlo has dreamt up is to rope six or so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us!
WTAF?!
Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I'd best not complain and just toe the line (or perhaps ‘tow’ the line would be more appropriate!).
I'm telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is.
We negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away.
I was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last week's courgettes which were now this week's courgette offer.
It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.
It's embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I'd be asked to leave the shop if I unclipped.
"FFS we're not rock climbing, we're trying to buy cheese" are words which I'll carry with me to my grave.
Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.
We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets.
Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn't have done, I'd still be there now.
As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as "biscuits and creosote", it was clear from the melée that all was not well in the adjacent aisle.
As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed.
The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestrian pile up in which the epicentre resembled the deity Durga, it wasn't clear how long they'd been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.
We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington.
e were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any camaraderie we'd had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.
With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion.
I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you were!
And if you really want to be entertained, wait for the comments from those who don't read the whole thing.
* Versions of this story - with different towns given as locations - are being circulated widely on social media across the UK. It is obviously a joke!
For those who haven't seen it, here's that Lidl story in full...
A warning to all: avoid using Lidl in Dewsbury at the moment if you can.
I've just got back from a truly awful shopping trip there.
Having queued up, patiently and socially distancing, as I neared the entrance a shop worker clipped a carabena onto the belt loop of my jeans, my perplexed expression must have said it all as she explained that whilst people are distancing in the queue outside, they aren't distancing once inside the store.
So what some dinlo has dreamt up is to rope six or so customers together with 2m of rope between each of us!
WTAF?!
Well these are strange times and with the threat of a second wave of infection I thought I'd best not complain and just toe the line (or perhaps ‘tow’ the line would be more appropriate!).
I'm telling you now, what an absolutely idiotic idea this is.
We negotiated our way in to the store, some with trolleys and others trying to grab a basket before the berserk conga line drags them away.
I was near the middle of the rope picking up some veg, the woman at the front, who was trussed up like a kid in a harness was trying to drag the whole line to the apples and the bloke at the back trying to pull the other way to get his hands on last week's courgettes which were now this week's courgette offer.
It was like tug-of-war for the deranged.
It's embarrassing to say, but I lost it, started ranting and raving about the rope and how the hell are people meant to shop like this, I went to unclip the carabena which miraculously brought the attention of the staff who told me I'd be asked to leave the shop if I unclipped.
"FFS we're not rock climbing, we're trying to buy cheese" are words which I'll carry with me to my grave.
Strangely this outburst had the effect of bringing our train together as a team.
We carried on now with lots of communication, people passing stuff along the line to other to fill their baskets.
Now I know passing things to one another could spread the infection as much as person to person contact but I honestly think if we hadn't have done, I'd still be there now.
As we started along the aisle I generally refer to as "biscuits and creosote", it was clear from the melée that all was not well in the adjacent aisle.
As far as I could tell there had been 2 trains of people and a lady in the middle of one chain had ducked under the other to get her hands on a pop-art cat bed.
The tangle had resulted in a multi-pedestrian pile up in which the epicentre resembled the deity Durga, it wasn't clear how long they'd been there but one old chap was trying to free himself by feverishly sawing at the rope with his house keys.
We navigated the remaining aisles without major trauma, other than having to rescue Doreen (2nd in line) after she fell in the chest freezer trying to reach the last beef Wellington.
e were individually unclipped prior to the till, at which point any camaraderie we'd had quickly evaporated as everyone scrambled for the first available till.
With the ordeal still impeding rational thought, it was a welcome and familiar sight to have the check out throw all my shopping on the floor in the normal 1000mph fashion.
I really did not appreciate being strung along like that, but I hope you were!
And if you really want to be entertained, wait for the comments from those who don't read the whole thing.
* Versions of this story - with different towns given as locations - are being circulated widely on social media across the UK. It is obviously a joke!
robo
Member
- Location
- northamptonshire
that was brilliant made me laugh any way
- Location
- DD9.
Just seen a deer being startled......by another deer.
Proper blue on blue friendly fire ?
Proper blue on blue friendly fire ?
Chae1
Member
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
A big queue to get into butchers shop that we supply.
Sold out of beef. The hot weathers shifting meat, plenty bbqs going.
Sold out of beef. The hot weathers shifting meat, plenty bbqs going.
- Location
- East yorks
Look I am having breakfast would you stop taking pictures and sod off and leave me alone
Paddington
Member
- Location
- Soggy Shropshire
Sat down in front of the computer after standing all morning with a double expresso and having a cool breeze coming through the kitchen door blowing up the leg of my shorts.
It's the simple things in life.
It's the simple things in life.
johnspeehs
Member
- Location
- Co Antrim
After loosing my "good" glasses 3 days ago and searching ever where I thought I had them las,t I finally narrowed it down to an 18 acre field of 6" long rough grazing so just gave it up as a bad job. Was in the field tonight and the quad ran out of petrol and jumped off to walk home and took 2 steps and there they were right at my toe.
- Location
- N.Lincs
At least you'll be able to find the petrol can when you get homeAfter loosing my "good" glasses 3 days ago and searching ever where I thought I had them las,t I finally narrowed it down to an 18 acre field of 6" long rough grazing so just gave it up as a bad job. Was in the field tonight and the quad ran out of petrol and jumped off to walk home and took 2 steps and there they were right at my toe.
johnspeehs
Member
- Location
- Co Antrim
At least you'll be able to find the petrol can when you get home
Lol it was only a mile or so, but I cant find anyone else to blame for leaving the bike on reserve which is a worse problem ?