trying to make living

[will6910]

hello all, not sure this is right area for this or anything but not feeling overly great and can't really talk to anyone else so thought I'd speak to the forum community, thing is I just turned 25 and work at home on family farm, I work with sheep dad has chickens, he says I'm shepherd but won't let me decide anything, I help a Friend of mine at contracting which I rarely get paid for and get no money at home eiher, it's not money aspect I suppose as i have a home and food so I'm lucky in that way but I'm struggeling to see a future on the farm and I'm not great at working away from home all day everyday as I got a sorta nervous problem but that another story, sorry if that makes no sense I just had to speak to someone about my worries as been getting to me abit, thanks for reading

 

[deutz.agrostar]

I have no experience of similar to tell you but there will be plenty of people along ina minute who can help. First thing is its always good to talk (I know cliché) so recognising something needs addressing is a good start.

 

[will6910]

thanks

 

[ianw]

Dads can be like that,its no use to you but I wish mine was still here to point out what I do wrong,frequently I may add.I don't know your situation but he's maybe just trying to protect you in his eyes,and don't spend time worrying about money its not the way forward,its better to have little money than be worrying about big debt if that makes sense

 

[Hurdle bunter]

Bit of a weird lot on here but I reckon we'll get you sorted out!

 

[will6910]

don't get me wrong im lucky to have my dad Around all the time for advice and help sometimes I just wish I had a little more control of farm, maybe he thinks cause if my nervous problem I not ready for it, money doesn't really bother me it's when people use me for help all time and would never say here's a few pound

 

[will6910]

may take some sorting

 

[Hurdle bunter]

We like a challenge!

 

[will6910]

thanks for reading for a start first time I have mentioned it to anyone before

 

[Andy26]

it's when people use me for help all time and would never say here's a few pound

For a start it seems like you need to find a polite way to decline. Expecting someone to work for free or at least without some reciprocal help is not on. So there's your first step, rehearse before hand if you need how you will answer the question, so you can give a confident answer.

 

[will6910]

it's only one man I help as contractor really, been helping him 7 years and get paid maybe once a year, maybe that could be part of y dad won't let me have my share as I have never any money to buy the odd sheep or bag of meal

 

[Hurdle bunter]

How approachable is your dad? I know I'm stating the obvious here in saying talk to him about it but if possible that would surely help....... Having said that if he's anything like my old chap (who I get on with great and love dearly) he's an alkwark old cuss who seams to go about everything ass backwards, has to think everything is his idea and ain't that great at communicating!!!

 

[Samcowman]

If you have ideas for the sheep and have worked it out put it down on paper with how much money can be saved or made by making the change and also how it will affect the running of he business. I have just done this with my old man and found it a lot easier to put my point over by writing it down rather than trying to remember everything when you are talking about it.
With regards to the work you do for a friend contracting then they should be paying you. Maybe just mention it offhand to them one day. Also make sure you keep a record of the hours you do for them.

 

[ianw]

If you have ideas for the sheep and have worked it out put it down on paper with how much money can be saved or made by making the change and also how it will affect the running of he business. I have just done this with my old man and found it a lot easier to put my point over by writing it down rather than trying to remember everything when you are talking about it.
With regards to the work you do for a friend contracting then they should be paying you. Maybe just mention it offhand to them one day. Also make sure you keep a record of the hours you do for them.

Good point well made.You can have it all worked out in your head but then it always tends to come out wrong or end up going on about something of total irrelevance

 

[Hurdle bunter]

With reference to the contracting work, does the farm/your dad get anything in return off the contractor for the work you do? If so its fair to say that your dad should at least be recognising the contribution your making on top of the sheep work

 

[will6910]

How approachable is your dad? I know I'm stating the obvious here in saying talk to him about it but if possible that would surely help....... Having said that if he's anything like my old chap (who I get on with great and love dearly) he's an alkwark old cuss who seams to go about everything ass backwards, has to think everything is his idea and ain't that great at communicating!!!

my dad is approachable If he in good mood he's very easily convinced of ideas from other but again from me e pays no attention, for instance, we kept 50 ewe lambs back this year with the plans of breeding them to increase sheep numbers slightly, that was good but in space of a hour and one phone call to someone he changed his mind twice. once he going to breed only 10 of them and second he was going to sell all of them to keep numbers as are, them ne announced on Friday he driving 2 hours to go by new ram to put on the ewe lambs, I can't rally make plans as never know one min to next what he's planning to

 

[will6910]

If you have ideas for the sheep and have worked it out put it down on paper with how much money can be saved or made by making the change and also how it will affect the running of he business. I have just done this with my old man and found it a lot easier to put my point over by writing it down rather than trying to remember everything when you are talking about it.
With regards to the work you do for a friend contracting then they should be paying you. Maybe just mention it offhand to them one day. Also make sure you keep a record of the hours you do for them.

thanks that's good idea

 

[Hurdle bunter]

Good point well made.You can have it all worked out in your head but then it always tends to come out wrong or end up going on about something of total irrelevance

I'll second that, I go all to shite under pressure like that and then think afterwards bugger........

 

[ianw]

it's only one man I help as contractor really, been helping him 7 years and get paid maybe once a year, maybe that could be part of y dad won't let me have my share as I have never any money to buy the odd sheep or bag of meal

Not that it helps,but that's the way contracting can be I'm afraid,in fact a lot of supply companys are in the same boat.Just try not to get too worked up about it,and others have said there's always someone on here so try not to sit thinking about stuff too much

 

[will6910]

With reference to the contracting work, does the farm/your dad get anything in return off the contractor for the work you do? If so its fair to say that your dad should at least be recognising the contribution your making on top of the sheep work

if I help my friend on his farm I few pound every so offen, for contracting work dad gets the cheque and I get money from it if I need it, if I say I'm going to silage now or something he goes mad and says I should be at home yet when at home in slack time he shouts I should be away working somewhere else