What do you do when you're absolutely exhausted?

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Rob91

Member
Livestock Farmer
Did your father inherit the farm or did he grow it himself? If he inherited it did he have issues with father/parents or siblings that could be contributing to his attitude?
He inherited it, and was made partner at a younger age than me.
They only had 20 cows and 80 acres in those days
 

Rob91

Member
Livestock Farmer
I have another excuse. It's going to rain on Thursday, and our heifers are more than 10 miles away so they have to be back before the end of the week to be within 60 days of their TB test, and we fetch them 5 or 6 at a time in the cow trailer
 

Suckndiesel

Member
Location
Newtownards
I have another excuse. It's going to rain on Thursday, and our heifers are more than 10 miles away so they have to be back before the end of the week to be within 60 days of their TB test, and we fetch them 5 or 6 at a time in the cow trailer
Mobile crush and some hurdles? Failing that get someone with a cattle lorry.
 

Boydvalley

Member
Location
Bath
Thank you for the fair message.
We know were inefficient. The land is very high magnesium, and we haven't done much to alter the soil,so we're struggling at the moment to get good silage and grazing yields.
I’m afraid your completely missing the point. You originally posted saying your exhausted having to work all hours to get around the work on the farm. We’re saying look at others, they are managing far more and have time off. You as a family are really suffering from not getting off the farm and seeing how others do things. It’s not as if you haven’t got the kit which normally most peoples problem.

Join a dairy discussion group would be a start.
 

czechmate

Member
Mixed Farmer
I’m afraid your completely missing the point. You originally posted saying your exhausted having to work all hours to get around the work on the farm. We’re saying look at others, they are managing far more and have time off. You as a family are really suffering from not getting off the farm and seeing how others do things. It’s not as if you haven’t got the kit which normally most peoples problem.

Join a dairy discussion group would be a start.


I think you are the one missing the point though, IMO the problem is nothing to do with the farm at all but (and this is only one side🤔) the problem is down to a controlling tyrant ruining his families lives. It doesn’t have to be farming related at all.
I think it’s plain the OP hasn’t been pushed far enough, yet, to do anything about it🤷‍♂️
My dad was bi polar, so I had pretty much as Is written for half the time... and the best dad ever for the other half 🙄
 
Is that what you say about people that suffer domestic abuse because that’s what this is when it boils down to it.
From what I can see he's in a pretty good spot, just tired and needs to grow a pair, I wouldn't class this as abuse, as those who suffer real abuse would swop with him anyday, he has options alot don't have that luxury.
 

tepapa

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
North Wales
I have another excuse. It's going to rain on Thursday, and our heifers are more than 10 miles away so they have to be back before the end of the week to be within 60 days of their TB test, and we fetch them 5 or 6 at a time in the cow trailer
Sounds like your dad needs to buy a bigger cattle box to go behind the tractor.
 

Rob91

Member
Livestock Farmer
Sounds like your dad needs to buy a bigger cattle box to go behind the tractor.
My brother in law had one and helped us last year, got about 15 on it. It's 20 miles away so a fair trek on a tractor.
Theres only my dad's 89 year old uncle there to look after them so it won't last forever.
 

tepapa

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
North Wales
I have another excuse. It's going to rain on Thursday, and our heifers are more than 10 miles away so they have to be back before the end of the week to be within 60 days of their TB test, and we fetch them 5 or 6 at a time in the cow trailer

My brother in law had one and helped us last year, got about 15 on it. It's 20 miles away so a fair trek on a tractor.
Theres only my dad's 89 year old uncle there to look after them so it won't last forever.
So is it 10 mile or 20 mile away? 20 miles not that far, an hour in a tractor. It would be quicker taking 15 by tractor than 3 loads of 5 by pickup.
 

Rob91

Member
Livestock Farmer
So is it 10 mile or 20 mile away? 20 miles not that far, an hour in a tractor. It would be quicker taking 15 by tractor than 3 loads of 5 by pickup.
It's 20 miles away. If it's more than 10 square miles they need pre movement testing after 60 days
 

PaulNix

Member
Location
Cornwall
Hi Rob.
Coming into this thread late but is a lot of good advice here but it is up to you and only you to make a change in your life, maybe you have an ally in your brother but don't rely or wait on him to make changes.
First up, above you say your sisters have been able to do as they want and you boys aren't, I not say this with any malice but the sisters are better off and either they or their children will be the end beneficiary's off all your hard work if you let this continue.
Your milk vending machine, you seem unsure if this will be a good idea or not yet you are putting personal money into it ( your possible escape and start again money ! ) with a vague promise when the SFP comes in you will be repaid, now also in this thread you mention you had your wages cut because the farm can't afford it as it has wasted money on machinery, cake bill etc. Now read back what I poorly wrote and ask yourself where the SFP money is really going plus where the possible profits from the vending machine will go ?
You need to be 100% on this vending machine, you need to have it cast iron who owns it and who runs and gets the profit ( or the loss ) from it.

But my opinion for what it's worth you NEED to keep your savings in your bank for such a time when you may want to start again somewhere else.

100 cows doesn't need 2 people ( plus mother by the sounds of it ) to milk, start decent time in the pm milking, get the other work done before or during ( there is two of you) surely it isn't like organic cows are bursting with milk that you can't start milking at 4 pm and give your mother the milking off, she may also then realise she can get tea and then sit down in the evening.
Unsure who's idea it is to pull docks but that strikes me is a job to keep you busy and under the thumb, it is something our grandfathers did to keep busy when a small farm needed to find jobs for the staff.
Go out, do something, anything !
If father threatens to sell the farm because you go to do something with your own time then call his bluff, tell him if he is serious about that you be expecting to hear him milking by 6 am , easier said than done but believe me the second time it's easier than the first to do that plus every time after it's easier again.
If you don't change something now one way or another you will be reading a thread in twenty, thirty or maybe even forty years time by some other 30 yr old and wishing you could turn back the clock.......
 

Highland Mule

Member
Livestock Farmer
ALLEGED domestic abuse.
The father can't be all bad to have built up frpm 80 acres/20 cows to 300 acres/100 cows.
I'd really like to hear the other side of the story...................
100% agree.

Is Staffs really so large that we don't have any other folk on here that recognise the farm from what's been said? 100 organic milkers, lots of flash machinery, two sons on farm and daughter living at home, other family land nearby, etc.

If you do, and are close, maybe just have a chat with the lad and get him sorted - if he's not in domestic slavery then he's either a special case being looked after by a caring set of parents that he's lamentably shaming with his posts on her, or else a really tasteless wind up/ internet traffic generator. On balance, I would rather it was the third but suspect it's the second.
 
100% agree.

Is Staffs really so large that we don't have any other folk on here that recognise the farm from what's been said? 100 organic milkers, lots of flash machinery, two sons on farm and daughter living at home, other family land nearby, etc.

If you do, and are close, maybe just have a chat with the lad and get him sorted - if he's not in domestic slavery then he's either a special case being looked after by a caring set of parents that he's lamentably shaming with his posts on her, or else a really tasteless wind up/ internet traffic generator. On balance, I would rather it was the third but suspect it's the second.
The entire farming population of Staffordshire are on here,or it seems that way at times.
 
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