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Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)
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<blockquote data-quote="DrWazzock" data-source="post: 8128123" data-attributes="member: 2119"><p>As lad I remember we had a wood/coke fired Rayburn in the kitchen that stank of sulphur dioxide, an open fire in the living room and a paraffin heater in the hall that was never lit. I think dad ran to some electric oil filled tubular heaters when we were babies but that was it. The kitchen and living room were usually reasonably warm but every other room was glacial through the winter. We kept the apples out of the orchard in the back bedroom and they kept good as fresh picked right round to April. It was the perfect cold store. I still live here. We had central heating installed in 1996 but still only heat 2 rooms regularly, but maybe heat the best room and dining room at Christmas. To heat the whole house is simply unaffordable. We rely on a wood burning stove in place of the open hearth fire. We never heat any of the bedrooms. The walls here are 2 feet thick uninsulated limestone with no damp course. They make the perfect heat sink.</p><p>And can I change? Will I change? Probably not. We are supposed to be “making the most” of the time the Mrs has left. So I have allocated a couple of days in the working week to “go out” and look like we are “making the most” of it. So we will go to the seaside or somewhere else where people go in search of something that quite frankly eludes me.</p><p>This cancer stress has highlighted fault lines in our marriage to be honest. It has accentuated weaknesses in her mental state and mine and neither of us have come out of it looking very honourable.</p><p>I’m torn between keeping the business afloat and “making the most” of the time she has left. If the business founders when I take my eye off the ball then we will hardly be able to “make the most” of anything. It’s not like there is some benevolent god up there refilling my bank account if I take a lot of time off, People don’t seem to understand that, except myself and myself alone. But hey ho, shoulder to the wheel and hope for the best.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DrWazzock, post: 8128123, member: 2119"] As lad I remember we had a wood/coke fired Rayburn in the kitchen that stank of sulphur dioxide, an open fire in the living room and a paraffin heater in the hall that was never lit. I think dad ran to some electric oil filled tubular heaters when we were babies but that was it. The kitchen and living room were usually reasonably warm but every other room was glacial through the winter. We kept the apples out of the orchard in the back bedroom and they kept good as fresh picked right round to April. It was the perfect cold store. I still live here. We had central heating installed in 1996 but still only heat 2 rooms regularly, but maybe heat the best room and dining room at Christmas. To heat the whole house is simply unaffordable. We rely on a wood burning stove in place of the open hearth fire. We never heat any of the bedrooms. The walls here are 2 feet thick uninsulated limestone with no damp course. They make the perfect heat sink. And can I change? Will I change? Probably not. We are supposed to be “making the most” of the time the Mrs has left. So I have allocated a couple of days in the working week to “go out” and look like we are “making the most” of it. So we will go to the seaside or somewhere else where people go in search of something that quite frankly eludes me. This cancer stress has highlighted fault lines in our marriage to be honest. It has accentuated weaknesses in her mental state and mine and neither of us have come out of it looking very honourable. I’m torn between keeping the business afloat and “making the most” of the time she has left. If the business founders when I take my eye off the ball then we will hardly be able to “make the most” of anything. It’s not like there is some benevolent god up there refilling my bank account if I take a lot of time off, People don’t seem to understand that, except myself and myself alone. But hey ho, shoulder to the wheel and hope for the best. [/QUOTE]
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