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The Anton Coaker Western Morning News Column
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<blockquote data-quote="JP1" data-source="post: 96483" data-attributes="member: 54"><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Apparently, a group of very clever weathermen are meeting to say we seem to be stuck in a cycle of cold wet summers. You don’t say, Einstein!</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Things have been a bit up and down here, this past week. Friday was the biggie, with the re-tests on our 3 TB inconclusive bullocks. Sadly they all failed, and are now reactors, and I’m faced with testing 300 head of cattle at least twice on short intervals. Given that ‘the 3’ had 5 little buddies grazing where they almost certainly picked up the pox, it’s a pretty fair bet that I’m not out of the woods yet. If they go down in turn, we’re at least 200 days away from selling much of anything, which takes me past autumn store markets. It looks horribly like we’re going to be wintering vastly more stock than I want on the place. And given that we’re only just standing up the last of the hayfields- for the want of grass growth on the peat- you might guess I’m a bit ragged just now. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The logistical problems mean I have no chance- not the least hope- of making any profit in the current year, after all that toil and investment. I’m not at all sure how I’m going to get through the back end of next winter sane or solvent.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> I would strongly advise against any jocularity and wise cracks on the topic when we’re next met. I just might not be in the mood.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">And as for this weeks crop of badger hugging correspondents on the letters page, repeating their offensive lies, disinformation and insults. Well, rest assured that I love them about as much as they evidently love me. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> On the weeks upside, we also did a few PDs –pregnancy diagnosis- last Friday, and had our official ‘mineral/trace element blood test result consultation’. The PDs revealed only 3 of the remaining South Devons not in calf, which given the conditions they’ve survived, surprised me. And the bloods all showed perfectly normal readings for all the trace elements and minerals checked. This perplexes me no end. The tests, conducted in January, included some 8-9 year old ladies who’d just come off the Forest with gurt spring calves at foot. How can this be so? Sure beats me. I’m almost disappointed, as it means there is no magic pill to give em. Any problems are down to fluke burdens, being cold and wet all year, and my general incompetence. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Moving on then. I thought I heard, half asleep as the early morning news went out over the radiogram, that Baldric –aka Tony Robinson-, is to be knighted. While my knighthood seems to have been lost in the post again, we’re to hear ‘Arise Sir Baldric’ in a day or two. Apparently he’s done lots of good works to deserve the honour. The thing is, does my memory serve me well, or didn’t he also once make a serious telly programme, extolling a theory that after a bit of court naughtiness, Edward 4th (born 1441) was in fact illegitimate. He reckoned this calls into question the legitimacy of the whole royal succession since.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> The key fact was that the king of the day can be shown to have been off fighting when Edward was conceived. His Queen, it’s alleged, may have dallied with a common archer. The chronological anomaly was fairly well known at the time, with plenty of references recorded including no less than a direct accusation in one of Shakespeare’s works.</span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Baldric spent the whole show –which I believe he wrote- carefully proving to viewers that the current royal family shouldn’t have any claim to the throne. It should rightfully belong to the extant successor to the Plantagenet line. He even tracked down the ‘rightful’ King –an affable Aussie bloke called Michael. For a bit of fun, King Mike even knighted Baldrick ‘Sir Tony of Horseferry Road’. </span></p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'"> Now this was all very interesting, although it’s hard to be sure of details after so long a time. And personally I’m prepared to accept the incumbent line of succession, on the simple ground that their forebears were, however tenuously, holding the biggest sword when the music stopped. And that, my frtiends, is the actual nature of a monarchy’s legitimacy, whatever anyone else says. </span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Times New Roman'">What impresses me less is Tony’s acceptance of the honour recently bestowed. He’s a committed lifelong leftie, who has also publicly stated that the Royal family aren’t rightfully there. So why has he accepted the Knighthood? Shades of John Prestcott. Perhaps there’s a cunning plan.</span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JP1, post: 96483, member: 54"] [FONT=Times New Roman] Apparently, a group of very clever weathermen are meeting to say we seem to be stuck in a cycle of cold wet summers. You don’t say, Einstein![/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] Things have been a bit up and down here, this past week. Friday was the biggie, with the re-tests on our 3 TB inconclusive bullocks. Sadly they all failed, and are now reactors, and I’m faced with testing 300 head of cattle at least twice on short intervals. Given that ‘the 3’ had 5 little buddies grazing where they almost certainly picked up the pox, it’s a pretty fair bet that I’m not out of the woods yet. If they go down in turn, we’re at least 200 days away from selling much of anything, which takes me past autumn store markets. It looks horribly like we’re going to be wintering vastly more stock than I want on the place. And given that we’re only just standing up the last of the hayfields- for the want of grass growth on the peat- you might guess I’m a bit ragged just now. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] The logistical problems mean I have no chance- not the least hope- of making any profit in the current year, after all that toil and investment. I’m not at all sure how I’m going to get through the back end of next winter sane or solvent.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] I would strongly advise against any jocularity and wise cracks on the topic when we’re next met. I just might not be in the mood.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]And as for this weeks crop of badger hugging correspondents on the letters page, repeating their offensive lies, disinformation and insults. Well, rest assured that I love them about as much as they evidently love me. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] On the weeks upside, we also did a few PDs –pregnancy diagnosis- last Friday, and had our official ‘mineral/trace element blood test result consultation’. The PDs revealed only 3 of the remaining South Devons not in calf, which given the conditions they’ve survived, surprised me. And the bloods all showed perfectly normal readings for all the trace elements and minerals checked. This perplexes me no end. The tests, conducted in January, included some 8-9 year old ladies who’d just come off the Forest with gurt spring calves at foot. How can this be so? Sure beats me. I’m almost disappointed, as it means there is no magic pill to give em. Any problems are down to fluke burdens, being cold and wet all year, and my general incompetence. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] Moving on then. I thought I heard, half asleep as the early morning news went out over the radiogram, that Baldric –aka Tony Robinson-, is to be knighted. While my knighthood seems to have been lost in the post again, we’re to hear ‘Arise Sir Baldric’ in a day or two. Apparently he’s done lots of good works to deserve the honour. The thing is, does my memory serve me well, or didn’t he also once make a serious telly programme, extolling a theory that after a bit of court naughtiness, Edward 4th (born 1441) was in fact illegitimate. He reckoned this calls into question the legitimacy of the whole royal succession since.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] The key fact was that the king of the day can be shown to have been off fighting when Edward was conceived. His Queen, it’s alleged, may have dallied with a common archer. The chronological anomaly was fairly well known at the time, with plenty of references recorded including no less than a direct accusation in one of Shakespeare’s works.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] Baldric spent the whole show –which I believe he wrote- carefully proving to viewers that the current royal family shouldn’t have any claim to the throne. It should rightfully belong to the extant successor to the Plantagenet line. He even tracked down the ‘rightful’ King –an affable Aussie bloke called Michael. For a bit of fun, King Mike even knighted Baldrick ‘Sir Tony of Horseferry Road’. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] Now this was all very interesting, although it’s hard to be sure of details after so long a time. And personally I’m prepared to accept the incumbent line of succession, on the simple ground that their forebears were, however tenuously, holding the biggest sword when the music stopped. And that, my frtiends, is the actual nature of a monarchy’s legitimacy, whatever anyone else says. [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman]What impresses me less is Tony’s acceptance of the honour recently bestowed. He’s a committed lifelong leftie, who has also publicly stated that the Royal family aren’t rightfully there. So why has he accepted the Knighthood? Shades of John Prestcott. Perhaps there’s a cunning plan.[/FONT] [FONT=Times New Roman] [/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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