diary of a comedy sheep farm

spin cycle · Jan 27, 2024

thursday....finished cladding in stairwell....god i hate mdf

.....knackered

......used to think 'chippies' were expensive and don't seem to achieve anything very quickly.....i now know that they are expensive but realise how time consuming the job is

friday....to 'stale' to contemplate the stairs so chores...bit of r&r.....ran some errands

saturday....with second colonoscopy looming i thought i'd better 'lay in' some more peas cos next week is going to be disrupted....bitta trip out....nice day....mardle with charlie.....build some 'elan' for final assault on stairs

so main road way is 55 miles....x country is slightly less....i've tried both and to my surprise i seem to use less fuel on the latter.....i'd always thought speeding up/slowing down/winding roads etc would use more.....but faster roads/longer seems to burn more :scratchhead:

......i can literally watch the gauge move at 60mph towing.....perhaps it's because berli is at top of it's effort :scratchhead:

.....anyhow a bitta google research and i found a little 'rat run' thru a town called wymondham on the x country route....shave a bit of distance off plus my rebellious side likes 'rat runs'

stopped in dereham mole on the way....road closures made a diversion

.....saw a lady litter picking sporting an 'ipswich town' bobble hat

very public spirited but oh if i coulda got a photo

.... at mole i thought i asked for 4 mineral tubs....£78

......but he brought 5 out which lessened the pain

.......so there i was with trailer in mole.....normally i'd maneuver quite easily but a red ford mustang parked gave me concern...'don't wanna scratch that spinney'.....so it was i disobeyed the 'golden rule'....'if there is space use it'....tied myself in a knot and did the 'drive of shame' past the amused but sympathetic audi driver i held up

rest of the journey went to plan....my 'rat run' plan worked....by the time i got to syl's (strapping young lad aka charlie aka @carbonfibre farmer

) i'd shaved 7 miles of my previous 'best'

......loading this time was less laborious....i had the flat trailer and two tubs on board c/w with pallets.....the peas...in big bags...were emptied via loader into the tubs then calculations were undertaken whilst i enjoyed a 'complimentary trifle'

......nice long mardle......my ratchet straps had the odd loop tied along their length.....testament to other duties,,,,syl offered to unpick them...i declined...i mean why :scratchhead:

i departed....starting along the lane ...it's best part of 1/2 mile.....halfway along i see 'sol' ( strapping old lad aka charlie aka @carbonfibre farmer's dad

)......stopped and out of his car he was tapping a pothole with a spade akin to a batsmen on a wicket.....all i'll say is that it's a 'bowler friendly pitch'

.....anyhoo he approached and ,after establishing my bona fides

we had a small conversation

....actually ,come to think of it :scratchhead:

, he talked...i listened

......turns out he's a fountain of knowledge

....in a very short time i learnt that the earth curves 9 inches every mile.....an old airfield nr me used to be the biggest nuke base of the cold war...called 'atom 1' and the peas i'd collected were ,i quote, 'human grade...i've eaten them but they gave me wind'

carbonfibre farmer · Jan 27, 2024

spin cycle said:
thursday....finished cladding in stairwell....god i hate mdf .....knackered......used to think 'chippies' were expensive and don't seem to achieve anything very quickly.....i now know that they are expensive but realise how time consuming the job is

friday....to 'stale' to contemplate the stairs so chores...bit of r&r.....ran some errands

saturday....with second colonoscopy looming i thought i'd better 'lay in' some more peas cos next week is going to be disrupted....bitta trip out....nice day....mardle with charlie.....build some 'elan' for final assault on stairs

so main road way is 55 miles....x country is slightly less....i've tried both and to my surprise i seem to use less fuel on the latter.....i'd always thought speeding up/slowing down/winding roads etc would use more.....but faster roads/longer seems to burn more......i can literally watch the gauge move at 60mph towing.....perhaps it's because berli is at top of it's effort.....anyhow a bitta google research and i found a little 'rat run' thru a town called wymondham on the x country route....shave a bit of distance off plus my rebellious side likes 'rat runs'

stopped in dereham mole on the way....road closures made a diversion.....saw a lady litter picking sporting an 'ipswich town' bobble hat very public spirited but oh if i coulda got a photo.... at mole i thought i asked for 4 mineral tubs....£78......but he brought 5 out which lessened the pain.......so there i was with trailer in mole.....normally i'd maneuver quite easily but a red ford mustang parked gave me concern...'don't wanna scratch that spinney'.....so it was i disobeyed the 'golden rule'....'if there is space use it'....tied myself in a knot and did the 'drive of shame' past the amused but sympathetic audi driver i held up

rest of the journey went to plan....my 'rat run' plan worked....by the time i got to syl's (strapping young lad aka charlie aka @carbonfibre farmer ) i'd shaved 7 miles of my previous 'best'......loading this time was less laborious....i had the flat trailer and two tubs on board c/w with pallets.....the peas...in big bags...were emptied via loader into the tubs then calculations were undertaken whilst i enjoyed a 'complimentary trifle' ......nice long mardle......my ratchet straps had the odd loop tied along their length.....testament to other duties,,,,syl offered to unpick them...i declined...i mean why

i departed....starting along the lane ...it's best part of 1/2 mile.....halfway along i see 'sol' ( strapping old lad aka charlie aka @carbonfibre farmer's dad )......stopped and out of his car he was tapping a pothole with a spade akin to a batsmen on a wicket.....all i'll say is that it's a 'bowler friendly pitch'.....anyhoo he approached and ,after establishing my bona fides we had a small conversation....actually ,come to think of it, he talked...i listened......turns out he's a fountain of knowledge ....in a very short time i learnt that the earth curves 9 inches every mile.....an old airfield nr me used to be the biggest nuke base of the cold war...called 'atom 1' and the peas i'd collected were ,i quote, 'human grade...i've eaten them but they gave me wind'

That last bit had me in tears.....that's my ol fella down to a tee. "He talked, I listened"

He came in the yard and said he'd spoken to "Duncan"

Lanes 9/10th of a Mile long, I think if you tried to bowl a ball down it, it'd have every chance of coming back at you from the numerous craters

You failed to mention the coffee, the offer of jaffa cakes (declined

) and the gratis spuds too. BBMBH ears were probably burning this afternoon too.

My grandad used to deliver bags of corn to Wymondham as a young lad in the 1920s with a horse and cart

I do wonder which way you cut through it though

Anyhow, pleased the triffle went down well, I reckon it took about 11 seconds to disappear

spin cycle · Jan 27, 2024

carbonfibre farmer said:
That last bit had me in tears.....that's my ol fella down to a tee. "He talked, I listened"

He came in the yard and said he'd spoken to "Duncan"

Lanes 9/10th of a Mile long, I think if you tried to bowl a ball down it, it'd have every chance of coming back at you from the numerous craters

You failed to mention the coffee, the offer of jaffa cakes (declined ) and the gratis spuds too. BBMBH ears were probably burning this afternoon too.

My grandad used to deliver bags of corn to Wymondham as a young lad in the 1920s with a horse and cart
I do wonder which way you cut through it though

Anyhow, pleased the triffle went down well, I reckon it took about 11 seconds to disappear
View attachment 1161045

.....could you not get a pic with slightly fewer chins

anyway....sorry....tbh punchline was to good to miss

SO....a very acceptable coffee.....bet the milk went in last this time

..... i did decline the jaffa cakes....i dunno i just don't like them that much :scratchhead:

.....as i'm restricted diet wise from now til wednesday the spud's will be handy cos those i can eat

...i'm not allowed trifle...oops i forgot

there's a road coming into wymondham from dereham called 'chapel lane'...it is a good shortcut.....skirts the town centre.....as i joined the road i knew the other side i made a mental note where to 'hang a left' for my way back

.....on the return leg i duly turned only to fall foul of the town's one way system.....worse still i ended up in a ,i'm sure normally delightful, cul de sac ....montgomery close

......once again in panic i made a hash of backing up and turning round....not helped by another fekkin red car

....i suppose the architects didn't anticipate that an 'intinerant in a van/trailer combo with a tonne of peas' might become 'wedged' in their bijou development :scratchhead:

....anyway i eventually extricated myself and the next turn took me through the town and joined me back to 'chapel lane'......cut the overall distance from 110 miles to 96

back home i discovered there'd been a little movement in transit that was going to make unloading a little awkward

out came the looped straps to reposition prior to palleting away

carbonfibre farmer · Jan 27, 2024

spin cycle said:
.....could you not get a pic with slightly fewer chins

anyway....sorry....tbh punchline was to good to miss

SO....a very acceptable coffee.....bet the milk went in last this time ..... i did decline the jaffa cakes....i dunno i just don't like them that much.....as i'm restricted diet wise from now til wednesday the spud's will be handy cos those i can eat...i'm not allowed trifle...oops i forgot

there's a road coming into wymondham from dereham called 'chapel lane'...it is a good shortcut.....skirts the town centre.....as i joined the road i knew the other side i made a mental note where to 'hang a left' for my way back.....on the return leg i duly turned only to fall foul of the town's one way system.....worse still i ended up in a ,i'm sure normally delightful, cul de sac ....montgomery close......once again in panic i made a hash of backing up and turning round....not helped by another fekkin red car ....i suppose the architects didn't anticipate that an 'intinerant in a van/trailer combo with a tonne of peas' might become 'wedged' in their bijou development ....anyway i eventually extricated myself and the next turn took me through the town and joined me back to 'chapel lane'......cut the overall distance from 110 miles to 96

back home i discovered there'd been a little movement in transit that was going to make unloading a little awkward

View attachment 1161063

out came the looped straps to reposition prior to palleting away

View attachment 1161064

Wymondham one way system

Wymondham where @adzy works and I occasionally-attend-

While "moving" an old wardrobe for someone at the carbon job a few years ago I "may" have lost some bits of it, round there on the speed humps

, hope you didn't find them

I do have some more pics....I'll save them

spin cycle · Jan 29, 2024

sunday/monday

sunday was ...'meh'......did some remedial work on the stairs.....by the time i'd done the third flight i was 'getting the idea' more so i went back and adjusted the second flight making some improvements.....was tired by lunchtime

......situation not being helped by my pre colonoscopy build up diet.....toast with clear marmalde....mashed potato....tinned fruit (in their own juice) being the staples

in the evening i thought i'd get ahead and email paynes fertiliser at naam for some fert....only want a mighty 3t of CAN these days......i expected the rep would pick up the email monday morning.....only for him to reply ,within an hour, our promising he'd check in the morning

monday

had a terrific morning on the stairs....all clad

......just some tidying to do and finally i can move on

....that said there'll still be a bit of plaster boarding to do but otherwise 97% done...i can hand over to the 'decorators'

....by noon though my energy levels were feeling low

......twas then i hit upon a 'dish' that was allowed and nourishing....recipe at the end

afternoon was mechanic and errands....first stop our animal feed supplier to arrange fert haulage......second jewsons .....wrestled with the coffee machine cos staff all busy,,,,i left my bits (trim/masking tape/lost head nails) on the counter....eventually stumped i asked for help....all the counter staff know me now....the coffee machine explained the assistant wandered off ... i returned to the counter....'oh those are your bits' he said 'i thought you'd just come in for a coffee'

.....apparently some ppl do

........then i bumped into boy's and HH's old primary school teacher....brilliant woman

......anyhoo she and her partner were desperately searching for ideas to prevent an errant squirrel invading their loft space.....her partner had got up at first light waiting with an air rifle only for 'tufty' not to show

......it all made me a little late so i postponed next errand and went straight to the mechanic....she's finally making progress with my 're-map'

afterwards twas 3 calls....first paynes....organise fert collection and supply photo id...i questioned need as it was calcium ammonium nitrate......not 'weapons grade'?.......they said better safe than sorry and i'm not fussed tbh.....second was admiral shop.....and last a little 'cherry' for the forklift from garage as tank dry

epilogue.....the mechanic asked me how i ranked my stairs effort and that i should 'pause' and 'give myself some credit' before moving onto the next task....as a 'species' we farmers don't really do that...do we? :scratchhead:

......i mean there's always the next task/challenge...no time to 'dawdle'? :scratchhead:

....anyhoo....i don't reckon they could me much stronger so 9 /10 there and 7 1/2 outta 10 for 'aesthetics'......the decorators can add another 1 or 1 1/2 to the latter i reckon

the recipe
now i'm a real 'gastronome' as you know

....so this is my 'gift' to the 'pre colonoscopic community'......'colonoscopy rescue pudding'........take one slice of processed white bread and mold into a bowl,,,,next add a little milk (about as much as you'd use in a cuppa).....then a generous layer of ice cream..... finally a desert spoon of tinned fruit....then microwave for one minute to warm and enthuse

NOW.....normally it'd be topped with a cherry but those b'strds at 'morrisons fruit cocktail inc' only put 3 bits of cherry at the top and i used them all up one mk1......bottom the tin was all peach/pear

Sharpy · Jan 29, 2024

spin cycle said:
sunday/monday

sunday was ...'meh'......did some remedial work on the stairs.....by the time i'd done the third flight i was 'getting the idea' more so i went back and adjusted the second flight making some improvements.....was tired by lunchtime......situation not being helped by my pre colonoscopy build up diet.....toast with clear marmalde....mashed potato....tinned fruit (in their own juice) being the staples

in the evening i thought i'd get ahead and email paynes fertiliser at naam for some fert....only want a mighty 3t of CAN these days......i expected the rep would pick up the email monday morning.....only for him to reply ,within an hour, our promising he'd check in the morning

monday

had a terrific morning on the stairs....all clad......just some tidying to do and finally i can move on....that said there'll still be a bit of plaster boarding to do but otherwise 97% done...i can hand over to the 'decorators'....by noon though my energy levels were feeling low......twas then i hit upon a 'dish' that was allowed and nourishing....recipe at the end

afternoon was mechanic and errands....first stop our animal feed supplier to arrange fert haulage......second jewsons .....wrestled with the coffee machine cos staff all busy,,,,i left my bits (trim/masking tape/lost head nails) on the counter....eventually stumped i asked for help....all the counter staff know me now....the coffee machine explained the assistant wandered off ... i returned to the counter....'oh those are your bits' he said 'i thought you'd just come in for a coffee'.....apparently some ppl do........then i bumped into boy's and HH's old primary school teacher....brilliant woman......anyhoo she and her partner were desperately searching for ideas to prevent an errant squirrel invading their loft space.....her partner had got up at first light waiting with an air rifle only for 'tufty' not to show ......it all made me a little late so i postponed next errand and went straight to the mechanic....she's finally making progress with my 're-map'

afterwards twas 3 calls....first paynes....organise fert collection and supply photo id...i questioned need as it was calcium ammonium nitrate......not 'weapons grade'?.......they said better safe than sorry and i'm not fussed tbh.....second was admiral shop.....and last a little 'cherry' for the forklift from garage as tank dry

epilogue.....the mechanic asked me how i ranked my stairs effort and that i should 'pause' and 'give myself some credit' before moving onto the next task....as a 'species' we farmers don't really do that...do we?......i mean there's always the next task/challenge...no time to 'dawdle'?....anyhoo....i don't reckon they could me much stronger so 9 /10 there and 7 1/2 outta 10 for 'aesthetics'......the decorators can add another 1 or 1 1/2 to the latter i reckon

the recipe
now i'm a real 'gastronome' as you know ....so this is my 'gift' to the 'pre colonoscopic community'......'colonoscopy rescue pudding'........take one slice of processed white bread and mold into a bowl,,,,next add a little milk (about as much as you'd use in a cuppa).....then a generous layer of ice cream..... finally a desert spoon of tinned fruit....then microwave for one minute to warm and enthuse

View attachment 1161497

NOW.....normally it'd be topped with a cherry but those b'strds at 'morrisons fruit cocktail inc' only put 3 bits of cherry at the top and i used them all up one mk1......bottom the tin was all peach/pear

Smashing diary entry @spin cycle but I cannot give you a likey due to the culinary murder you have just performed! We need a vomit emoji!

spin cycle · Jan 31, 2024

wednesday

just back home....checked admiral.....and in collapsed heap after 'colonoscopy 2.0'......all clear

not to belittle the procedure but laying there my 'gallows humour' kicked in.....' having something stuck up your bot whilst having as much gas/air you want isn't that bad james...i wonder if this is what it's like going to a top public school ? :scratchhead:

'

i felt i wasn't as well 'prepped' as last time....but the doctor/team were brilliant

and blimey the tech is amazing....out of the catheter came a wire loop .....hooked over the polyp and gone

of the polyp.....'it's not as big as we first thought ' said the nurse......where have i heard that before

.....doc interrupted ' there's a couple of....well what looks like hard peas?....have you consumed any dried pulses recently?'.....i issued a firm denial

food at last

nb...clean inside of windscreen

yellowbelly · Jan 31, 2024

spin cycle said:
.....all clear

Matthew Britton · Feb 1, 2024

spin cycle said:
wednesday

just back home....checked admiral.....and in collapsed heap after 'colonoscopy 2.0'......all clear

not to belittle the procedure but laying there my 'gallows humour' kicked in.....' having something stuck up your bot whilst having as much gas/air you want isn't that bad james...i wonder if this is what it's like going to a top public school ? '

i felt i wasn't as well 'prepped' as last time....but the doctor/team were brilliant and blimey the tech is amazing....out of the catheter came a wire loop .....hooked over the polyp and gone

of the polyp.....'it's not as big as we first thought ' said the nurse......where have i heard that before .....doc interrupted ' there's a couple of....well what looks like hard peas?....have you consumed any dried pulses recently?'.....i issued a firm denial

food at last

View attachment 1161814

nb...clean inside of windscreen

Glad your ok and enjoyed your day off

carbonfibre farmer · Feb 1, 2024

spin cycle said:
wednesday

just back home....checked admiral.....and in collapsed heap after 'colonoscopy 2.0'......all clear

not to belittle the procedure but laying there my 'gallows humour' kicked in.....' having something stuck up your bot whilst having as much gas/air you want isn't that bad james...i wonder if this is what it's like going to a top public school ? '

i felt i wasn't as well 'prepped' as last time....but the doctor/team were brilliant and blimey the tech is amazing....out of the catheter came a wire loop .....hooked over the polyp and gone

of the polyp.....'it's not as big as we first thought ' said the nurse......where have i heard that before .....doc interrupted ' there's a couple of....well what looks like hard peas?....have you consumed any dried pulses recently?'.....i issued a firm denial

food at last

View attachment 1161814

nb...clean inside of windscreen

I thought those peas were for your sheep, not you!!

primmiemoo · Feb 3, 2024

Carry On, Spin!

Matthew Britton · Feb 3, 2024

primmiemoo said:
Carry On, Spin!

Now there is the making of a new Carry on film

spin cycle · Feb 3, 2024

Matthew Britton said:
Now there is the making of a new Carry on film

Well obviously Sid James will 'play' me....who's gonna play you

Matthew Britton · Feb 3, 2024

spin cycle said:
Well obviously Sid James will 'play' me....who's gonna play you

Apparently if Sid is taken my daughter thinks Kenneth Connor would do, I’m not so sure though

spin cycle · Feb 3, 2024

Matthew Britton said:
Apparently if Sid is taken my daughter thinks Kenneth Connor would do, I’m not so sure though

I was kinda saving that for yellowbelly but hey....first come first served

....perhaps he'll take Terry Scott

I can see Charlie and flatty arguing over who gets Jim Dale.

......but Charles Hawtrey is a 'shoe in" for robbie

Matthew Britton · Feb 3, 2024

spin cycle said:
I was kinda saving that for yellowbelly but hey....first come first served ....perhaps he'll take Terry Scott

I can see Charlie and flatty arguing over who gets Jim Dale.......but Charles Hawtrey is a 'shoe in" for robbie

Jim Dale was her other suggestion. I am nothing if not flexible and adaptable, wife suggested Hattie Jaques

Edit: didn’t finish,
If you would prefer to change the actor I won’t be offended, perhaps someone with a french twist?

spin cycle · Feb 3, 2024

Matthew Britton said:
Jim Dale was her other suggestion. I am nothing if not flexible and adaptable, wife suggested Hattie Jaques
Edit: didn’t finish,
If you would prefer to change the actor I won’t be offended, perhaps someone with a french twist?

tbh looking around I think you're the only one with the 'physique' for Bernard Bresslaw

have we done this before...I'm getting dreadful deja vue

actually lukey is getting Jim Dale now I think about it

spin cycle · Feb 3, 2024

feck of a morning.. did bit on alcove cos need bits to set before i carry on...made room in grainstore for fert.. not much space needed but then again there was zero space to begin

....turned some small store lambs back out on some decent grass...now mrs spin has a puncture

I said alcove was a bit "curates egg'....anyhoo I ripped it out and started again

primmiemoo · Feb 3, 2024

Looking at the insides of old walls is fascinating. Are you able to date the bricks, Spin?

yellowbelly · Feb 3, 2024

spin cycle said:
tbh looking around I think you're the only one with the 'physique' for Bernard Bresslaw

have we done this before...I'm getting dreadful deja vue

actually lukey is getting Jim Dale now I think about it

...don't go forgetting @primmiemoo

diary of a comedy sheep farm

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