Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

D

DrWazzock

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lincolnshire
With my wife’s illness, the physical problems she has are one thing but the mental stress she has is worse. It tends to transfer to me and yesterday I kept a tally and I’d say she kicked off about something about 50 times. Each time this has sent my blood pressure and stress levels soaring. But I’ve recognised this trigger now and am doing my best to try to keep calm. And indeed I think two years of this kind of thing has manifested in bodily aches and pain etc. The worst thing is at night when I’m woken from sleep by thinking I’ve heard her call out but sometimes I’ve dreamt or imagined her calling out. Anyway we are getting help now from nursing staff so things are better. My Mrs is still quite able but the mental side has been awful. Can’t blame her with what she’s been through and is facing. Not her fault.
 
Texel Tup

Texel Tup

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
North Norfolk
DrWazzock said:
With my wife’s illness, the physical problems she has are one thing but the mental stress she has is worse. It tends to transfer to me and yesterday I kept a tally and I’d say she kicked off about something about 50 times. Each time this has sent my blood pressure and stress levels soaring. But I’ve recognised this trigger now and am doing my best to try to keep calm. And indeed I think two years of this kind of thing has manifested in bodily aches and pain etc. The worst thing is at night when I’m woken from sleep by thinking I’ve heard her call out but sometimes I’ve dreamt or imagined her calling out. Anyway we are getting help now from nursing staff so things are better. My Mrs is still quite able but the mental side has been awful. Can’t blame her with what she’s been through and is facing. Not her fault.
Click to expand...

Jeez Doc. How TF can anyone respond to your post with anything but sympathy and understanding and that isn't even a question, is it?

It would be SOOO much easier if only there was someone else to blame, but there isn't. Neither of you have asked for this.

Many years ago when my life wasn't how I would have it, a well meaning lady suggested to me that ''Good comes from everything ….''. It took me 20 years to realise that she was, of course right. Whilst it's an obscenity that your wife and you too should be going through this, and though clearly the rewards simply aren't worth the pain, I and I'm sure others too, are looking at ourselves and our lives and simply counting our blessings …. life for me at the moment is sh!t - except of course, it isn't.

You wont give in because you're made of better stuff.
 
D

DrWazzock

Member
Arable Farmer
Location
Lincolnshire
The thing with my Mrs is that it’s nothing like the MacMillan adverts with folks round the bed dabbing their eyes and hugging, whispering sweet nothings etc. No. with my Mrs it’s pure rage and fury at every deterioration and setback and the unfairness and waste of it all. In some ways I admire her for that but it doesn’t half take some living with. Getting a sock onto a badly swollen ankle can erupt into a tirade of effing and blinding. No it won’t beat me. We used to have Suffolk sheep.🤣
 
Wood field

Wood field

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
South Pennines ol14
We had an embarrassing cover of wet snow
Looking on local facebook you would think the world was ending
Pics coming home after scanning our moor ewes
I too have felt mentally much better these last few months, but I am grateful for living away from town and the amount of pig ignorant folk that seem to be prevalent these days!
IMG_5525.jpeg
IMG_5527.jpeg
 
czechmate

czechmate

Member
Mixed Farmer
Location
Limousin/Charentes toad land
Wood field said:
We had an embarrassing cover of wet snow
Looking on local facebook you would think the world was ending
Pics coming home after scanning our moor ewes
I too have felt mentally much better these last few months, but I am grateful for living away from town and the amount of pig ignorant folk that seem to be prevalent these days!
View attachment 1163337View attachment 1163338
Click to expand...

i like pigs👍
 
Christoph1945

Christoph1945

Member
Location
Widnes West Cheshire
DrWazzock said:
The thing with my Mrs is that it’s nothing like the MacMillan adverts with folks round the bed dabbing their eyes and hugging, whispering sweet nothings etc. No. with my Mrs it’s pure rage and fury at every deterioration and setback and the unfairness and waste of it all. In some ways I admire her for that but it doesn’t half take some living with. Getting a sock onto a badly swollen ankle can erupt into a tirade of effing and blinding. No it won’t beat me. We used to have Suffolk sheep.🤣
Click to expand...

Presently, despite several attempts, I am at a total loss for words but am thinking of you folks often and will pray that both you and your wife find some respite and better suport.

If I ruled the world ......... ........... ......... !
 
Texel Tup

Texel Tup

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
North Norfolk
Just a short and possibly un~important announcement; On Monday I will leave North Norfolk for the wooly wilds of Warwickshire for a fortnights lambing and then from there I go up to Galloway, lambing and then calving for someone else, until the end of May …. then it's back to a solo existence.

I'm not too sure about internet connection, or even how to achieve it - I only have a 'phone so I'll bid you all a temporary farewell and around the start of June and assuming that I survive, I'll be back.

Unusually for a faceless form of internet platform, I'm not sure that I've ever heard an angry word on here, and for that I applaud you all. I've found this particular forum to be nothing but supportive and encouraging …. a place made up of lovely people.

A temporary Farewell. ;):giggle:
 
choochter

choochter

Member
Location
aberdeenshire
Texel Tup said:
Just a short and possibly un~important announcement; On Monday I will leave North Norfolk for the wooly wilds of Warwickshire for a fortnights lambing and then from there I go up to Galloway, lambing and then calving for someone else, until the end of May …. then it's back to a solo existence.

I'm not too sure about internet connection, or even how to achieve it - I only have a 'phone so I'll bid you all a temporary farewell and around the start of June and assuming that I survive, I'll be back.

Unusually for a faceless form of internet platform, I'm not sure that I've ever heard an angry word on here, and for that I applaud you all. I've found this particular forum to be nothing but supportive and encouraging …. a place made up of lovely people.

A temporary Farewell. ;):giggle:
Click to expand...
Stay steady
 
serf

serf

Member
Location
warwickshire
Texel Tup said:
Just a short and possibly un~important announcement; On Monday I will leave North Norfolk for the wooly wilds of Warwickshire for a fortnights lambing and then from there I go up to Galloway, lambing and then calving for someone else, until the end of May …. then it's back to a solo existence.

I'm not too sure about internet connection, or even how to achieve it - I only have a 'phone so I'll bid you all a temporary farewell and around the start of June and assuming that I survive, I'll be back.

Unusually for a faceless form of internet platform, I'm not sure that I've ever heard an angry word on here, and for that I applaud you all. I've found this particular forum to be nothing but supportive and encouraging …. a place made up of lovely people.

A temporary Farewell. ;):giggle:
Click to expand...
Which part of Warwickshire are you heading ?
 
holwellcourtfarm

holwellcourtfarm

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Glen Clova, Angus, DD8 4RD
Texel Tup said:
Just a short and possibly un~important announcement; On Monday I will leave North Norfolk for the wooly wilds of Warwickshire for a fortnights lambing and then from there I go up to Galloway, lambing and then calving for someone else, until the end of May …. then it's back to a solo existence.

I'm not too sure about internet connection, or even how to achieve it - I only have a 'phone so I'll bid you all a temporary farewell and around the start of June and assuming that I survive, I'll be back.

Unusually for a faceless form of internet platform, I'm not sure that I've ever heard an angry word on here, and for that I applaud you all. I've found this particular forum to be nothing but supportive and encouraging …. a place made up of lovely people.

A temporary Farewell. ;):giggle:
Click to expand...
Enjoy yourself 👍
 
holwellcourtfarm

holwellcourtfarm

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
Glen Clova, Angus, DD8 4RD
If it's of any value @Christoph1945 Dad had a knee replaced about 10 years before we lost him. He didn't regret it for one moment. His only complaint was that it wasn't quite as flexible as the natural one so he had to lead with the other leg when climbing grain bin ladders. He was late 70s 🤣

If you do go ahead, make sure you follow the exercise instructions. Those whose knee replacements "fail" invariably haven't done the required knee flexibility exercises (because they hurt to start with).
 
ollie989898

ollie989898

Member
Location
Hanging from a twig, in a deep sleep.
Wood field said:
We had an embarrassing cover of wet snow
Looking on local facebook you would think the world was ending
Pics coming home after scanning our moor ewes
I too have felt mentally much better these last few months, but I am grateful for living away from town and the amount of pig ignorant folk that seem to be prevalent these days!
View attachment 1163337View attachment 1163338
Click to expand...

Reminds me of living in Exmoor.

No internet. No driving to work as you would have needed a challenger tank to get there. No snow ploughs, no gritter. Stay home in bed and listen to the wind whistle by.
 

SFI - What % were you taking out of production?

  • 0 %

    Votes: 105 40.4%

  • Up to 25%

    Votes: 95 36.5%

  • 25-50%

    Votes: 39 15.0%

  • 50-75%

    Votes: 5 1.9%

  • 75-100%

    Votes: 3 1.2%

  • 100% I’ve had enough of farming!

    Votes: 13 5.0%
See comments…

May Event: The most profitable farm diversification strategy 2024 - Mobile Data Centres

Apr 02
  • 1,824
  • 32
With just a internet connection and a plug socket you too can join over 70 farms currently earning up to £1.27 ppkw ~ 201% ROI

Register Here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/the-mo...2024-mobile-data-centres-tickets-871045770347

Tuesday, May 21 · 10am - 2pm GMT+1

Location: Village Hotel Bury, Rochdale Road, Bury, BL9 7BQ

The Farming Forum has teamed up with the award winning hardware manufacturer Easy Compute to bring you an educational talk about how AI and blockchain technology is helping farmers to diversify their land.

Over the past 7 years, Easy Compute have been working with farmers, agricultural businesses, and renewable energy farms all across the UK to help turn leftover space into mini data centres. With...
News
Continue…

Share this page

Top