How much responsibility to give children and how reliable?

[DrWazzock]

Yes, compared to how hard my dad and uncle worked, we have it easy. Very easy.

But they served in the forces as well, as was common for that generation.

 

[Dairyfarmerswife]

I've been pondering this all day. My two are 6 and 4 and currently on Easter holidays. They spend their days doing a mixture of 'helping' us and playing in the garden. That's pretty much how i grew up. Like my folks, i have no child care in the holidays, so if there's a job to be done they often have to come with us, even if that means sitting in the truck, playing a game or watching a dvd. In my day it was books and cassette players under a duvet in the back of the van while mum lugged corn for dad. Or we rode our bikes round the fields, and ponies later. We did have cade lambs, and later ponies of our own to look after, and i can remember going round the lambing shed for dad too. Some early mornings drawing lambs for market too. Incentive was being part of the team i think, and later on selling lambs born to the cades we had kept. We had our own small flocks for a few years. I suppose what i am saying is we weren't given jobs that were crucial until we were older - mid teens, i think, but growing up helping and seeing mum and dad put the hours in definitely rubbed off.

I think if your kids aren't interested you can't make them, but as they get old enough i would definitely encourage a part time job elsewhere if they don't want to help at home, it's important for their independence. Also i think maybe regular chores are a bit tying at that age, let them be care free while they can, childhood is short! So, shut the chickens in/feed the dog a couple of times a week, or as an odd favour is fine, feeding calves/milking every day, a bit much.


Nowadays when employing staff it is noticeable that those who have grown up on a farm, particularly with stock, settle in much more quickly because they understand the work ethic in a way that kids who haven't seen it day to day don't seem to. That's not to say the non farmers won't be good but they take a bit more breaking in!

 

[DrWazzock]

I also remember that I was allocated my own vegetable plot from an early age. I loved that plot, sowing seeds, cultivating it and such like. It gave me a lead in to the arable side and an enthusiasm for it. Parents showed me how to go on then left me to it. Seemed to be plenty of easy to read books for children gardening in those days as well.

 

[Chasingmytail]

To be fair this afternoon the eldest has lambed a ewe and looked after all the sheep and has been a rock - just typical!!! He is very moody (poss age) so if he likes the job then he's happy to do it but has this opinion if he doesnt like it then he deviates. Sadly thats not good as we all have to do what we dislike everyday.

The youngest isnt quite ready - more younger than 8 in his mentality. Both boys have to do chores its life and I want to teach them life stills - he grow on our veg and want to lean how to kill and cut for future.

Again compared to their friends at school they are more switched on and I cant stand this mollycoddling and treating them like they are inept to work.

 

[DrWazzock]

To be fair this afternoon the eldest has lambed a ewe and looked after all the sheep and has been a rock - just typical!!! He is very moody (poss age) so if he likes the job then he's happy to do it but has this opinion if he doesnt like it then he deviates. Sadly thats not good as we all have to do what we dislike everyday.

The youngest isnt quite ready - more younger than 8 in his mentality. Both boys have to do chores its life and I want to teach them life stills - he grow on our veg and want to lean how to kill and cut for future.

Again compared to their friends at school they are more switched on and I cant stand this mollycoddling and treating them like they are inept to work.

My dad could have written that today. He's 83 and my brother and I are in our 40's!

 

[wasted years]

My 15 year old has worked 100 acres this spring and can be trusted to look after the robot and all sorts, my 13 year old isn't interested and my 10 year old only wants to kick a ball.
They are all different.

 

[Gulli]

Me and my brother always had to work. Put him off for life and almost me as well. I went to work outside of farming in my teens.
It's a difficult one as it's important to learn that sometimes you just have to put your head down and get on with jobs you don't want to do but on the other hand I don't think it's fair to force an 8 year old to do work they dont want to be doing.
If you want to push the 'we're a team' line then go help them do the jobs until you're happy they are capable/willing to do it alone

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

An interesting conundrum.

I don't agree with forcing kids to work on the farm but they do need to learn, from an early age, that nothing in life is for free. Suitable simple chores in return for pocket money seems a goods start. Pocket money for nothing just corrupts and starts the trend towards the benefits mentality IMHO.

Having said that, on farms there is always the risk of upset amongst siblings when inheritance is involved, especially where some have worked to build up the farm and some have not.

I worked around the farm from about 5 years old, bucket feeding calves, checking rabbit fences etc. By 7 I was tractor driving (just), helping pluck Christmas poultry, feeding older cattle and mucking out. By 14 I was running the grain store and mum left me to reverse trailers onto the pit as I was far better at it than her. My older sister never wanted anything to do with the farm and couldn't get away quick enough. Lying and subterfuge was common with her.

She hasn't done well for herself but it's unlikely that forcing her to do farm work would have made any difference.

I'd suggest they should be encouraged wherever they show interest and rewarded where you can. Lying must always be challenged else it will set a trend for life.

Nobody said parenting would be easy.

 

[Farmer_Joe]

i have 4 not all that old yet (Oldest 8 but all close) but my teaching is you help out you get a paid/reward then you get to go and spend that on what you want, most stuff around house so far but little things on farm like stone picking etc they just help lambing for the joy!

They have bought crap wasted their money some time not been bothered (all part of the learning) but generally the idea of saving and having a goal or item to save for has really driven them, ive been really impressed how hard they have worked to earn money for something they want.

Ive never forced them to do anything its purely been offered for the uptake and often they will just offer to help to help me out it only bigger jobs they get paid for.

for me this works a treat, little helpers and they learn value for work and money everyone a winner!

 

[Dan7626]

As I only work on a farm it's not always possible to have my eldest around for health and safety reasons.
He is only 4 but is farm mad and shows so much enthusiasm for what I do and is always full of questions when I get home.
He loves helping me out with whatever he can, when mowing the lawns he carts the grass (silage to him) away in his little wheelbarrow and insists on helping feed our ducks, ferrets, dog and his rabbit. Sometimes he is more of a hinderence than a help but I would never ever tell him for fear of putting him off.
Getting paid for helping me never even enters his head but I give him a bit of pocket money every week as a thank you and to let him know that his help is appreciated.

All I can hope is that he continues to be as keen as this as he gets older and that it rubs off on his younger brother when he is old enough.

 

[glasshouse]

As I only work on a farm it's not always possible to have my eldest around for health and safety reasons.
He is only 4 but is farm mad and shows so much enthusiasm for what I do and is always full of questions when I get home.
He loves helping me out with whatever he can, when mowing the lawns he carts the grass (silage to him) away in his little wheelbarrow and insists on helping feed our ducks, ferrets, dog and his rabbit. Sometimes he is more of a hinderence than a help but I would never ever tell him for fear of putting him off.
Getting paid for helping me never even enters his head but I give him a bit of pocket money every week as a thank you and to let him know that his help is appreciated.

All I can hope is that he continues to be as keen as this as he gets older and that it rubs off on his younger brother when he is old enough.

its terrible when kids want to be out on a farm but cant.

 

[Dan7626]

its terrible when kids want to be out on a farm but cant.

There's nothing he loves more than "helping" to feed the cattle or sitting in the tractor and to be fair my boss understands this. But it only takes 1 wrong person to see and it's not worth the hassle.
Harry is very sensible around machinery and I'd much rather him grow up around it and learn the risks than jump on a tractor at 16 and have no idea.

 

[Forever Fendt]

Every child needs to learn to do chores and take/obey orders from a young age. Sadly in this day and age some of them think they don't have to help. Very important that both parents are singing from the same hymn sheet. As soon as one parent undermines the other's authority it's game over I'm afraid. As for farm work, if they aren't interested they won't be much use, and there's no point flogging a dead horse i.e. if it's not in them it's best to encourage them to work off farm.

As for lying about doing a job. Our eldest used to do that and still would if he thought he could get away with it. I feel they insult our intelligence when they do that and it's not acceptable.

Please don't think I'm preaching, the above advice is what I've learnt and concluded from experience and hindsight. If I could turn the clock back twenty years a lot of things would get done very differently.

I could have written that