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<blockquote data-quote="Pasty" data-source="post: 4119286" data-attributes="member: 1651"><p>My old man is 80 and not in brilliant nick. We get on well but there is a load he can't do any more and sometimes I wince when he is on the chainsaw etc. but what can you say? I'll probably be the same. Telling him he can't use a chainsaw any more and to go and sit inside would be worse for him than hacking his leg off probably. Very difficult. </p><p></p><p>We get on well but disagree on every single thing that ever was. Makes it very difficult as it's my place now and my living and I have to support my family where he has savings from the sale of the mojority of the farm and will never want for anything. My wife says I need to engage with him and get him to help were he can but the problem is doing jobs with him just drives me nuts. We don't fall out, I'm not like that but I just want to do stuff on my own. Essentially anything I say or suggest he will disagree with and this is on MY farm. I know it was his once and that must be hard but what I find difficult is that he won't budge an inch. I'll budge a mile if I can make him happy but I've still got to make the ultimate calls on what goes on. He doesn't see the bank account or pay the bills any more. </p><p></p><p>I don't know. I'm a bit stuck. People will say 'just talk to him about how you feel'. Those people don't know him like I do. So what do I do with a stubborn old bugger who really wants to be involved, I get on well with outside of the work situation but can't help disagreeing, criticizing and so on and so on and so on. I made a list of all the things which had changed since I took on the place from trimming the hedges a foot higher to positions of gates and fences. There wasn't a single thing that he hadn't told me was a mistake and he uses that word a lot. It's not like it changes what I do. If the job fails, it'll be down to me. </p><p></p><p>I think what really hacks me off is that he has a hell of a lot to offer. But it's all wasted as I don't take any notice of anything he says because he HAS to disagree with me. That's just depressing. I want to involve him. I want to learn from him and I want him to do what he really wants to do at his own pace but it's almost like he won't let me (or him) have that. Any suggestions welcomed.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Pasty, post: 4119286, member: 1651"] My old man is 80 and not in brilliant nick. We get on well but there is a load he can't do any more and sometimes I wince when he is on the chainsaw etc. but what can you say? I'll probably be the same. Telling him he can't use a chainsaw any more and to go and sit inside would be worse for him than hacking his leg off probably. Very difficult. We get on well but disagree on every single thing that ever was. Makes it very difficult as it's my place now and my living and I have to support my family where he has savings from the sale of the mojority of the farm and will never want for anything. My wife says I need to engage with him and get him to help were he can but the problem is doing jobs with him just drives me nuts. We don't fall out, I'm not like that but I just want to do stuff on my own. Essentially anything I say or suggest he will disagree with and this is on MY farm. I know it was his once and that must be hard but what I find difficult is that he won't budge an inch. I'll budge a mile if I can make him happy but I've still got to make the ultimate calls on what goes on. He doesn't see the bank account or pay the bills any more. I don't know. I'm a bit stuck. People will say 'just talk to him about how you feel'. Those people don't know him like I do. So what do I do with a stubborn old bugger who really wants to be involved, I get on well with outside of the work situation but can't help disagreeing, criticizing and so on and so on and so on. I made a list of all the things which had changed since I took on the place from trimming the hedges a foot higher to positions of gates and fences. There wasn't a single thing that he hadn't told me was a mistake and he uses that word a lot. It's not like it changes what I do. If the job fails, it'll be down to me. I think what really hacks me off is that he has a hell of a lot to offer. But it's all wasted as I don't take any notice of anything he says because he HAS to disagree with me. That's just depressing. I want to involve him. I want to learn from him and I want him to do what he really wants to do at his own pace but it's almost like he won't let me (or him) have that. Any suggestions welcomed. [/QUOTE]
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