Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

Keep a hold of how you feel on the good days.

betweenthelines said:

Chris, I worry that I'll have a serious panic attack at work and/or will be thought by my bosses as to be not able to do my job.

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Ask yourself if this is a realistic worry, and check your opinion with those around you. A lot will depend on the type of work and the responsibilities it entails. What might be the outcome of not talking to your boss?

Have you ever tried befriending yourself? You could try advising yourself as if you are a dear and beloved friend, I find it works a treat

Back from the doctors, he wouldnt put me on any antidepressants as he thinks my low moods havent been ongoing long enough yet. Got some sleeping tablets to help me get a good nights sleep and some CBT links for going online and doing, hopefully it will help me into a more positive frame of mind (and I have actually had a "good" day today).

Well done. Hopefully having some sort of plan to work to will help you sort things out. Best wishes.

Little steps. It all builds to a better future. Be kind to yourself and forgive yourself if you have a bad day. It will get better, just take little steps.

betweenthelines said:

Chris, I worry that I'll have a serious panic attack at work and/or will be thought by my bosses as to be not able to do my job.

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perhaps only go back to work when you are really feeling well enough.so as not to put yourself in that stress/panic forming situation.

time is a healer with panic attacks.

Troubled,

I have been wondering if we can address you in some other way? By repeatedly addressing you as troubled; I wonder if we are reinforcing problems, or perhaps underpinning them.

May we address you by a first name? You, of course will still retain your anonymity! You could use your own first name, a middle name, or any name of your choosing; Fred, Bert, James or John would feel better than always addressing you as troubled; which you are not always going to be.

Stay safe, stay well, and continue the good progress.

Chris

FarmerStressStudy said:

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FarmerStressStudy,

as with Troubled; may we have a name by which to address you and are you able to "presently" inform us how many have taken the stress study and how many have progressed on to using your web site?

Chris

I must admit now that when I was going through puberty things were tough, family life was a bit topsy Turvey and back in 2013 I really wanted to end it all. I suppose it got to the point where I thirsted to end it all, but I kept on going and i took every day as it came and things gradually got better, now when I look at life I can think logically through situations. When I was having these problems mum gave me supplements and herbs to help, believe me it helped a lot. Sometimes we can get this if not all is right in our bodies, if we are lacking things for example, vitamins is always a good place to start. I have heard some people say that these things are genetic, but that is not true, sometimes it can be learned behaviour, or the body/mind is lacking in nutrients or sunlight or something bad has happened in their lives. This is why it is important to talk about things which are worrying you, because you may think "oh no one can or will help me" but it just isn't true, people or family members will always want to help, if the other person cares for you they will want to help you. Sometimes we get into a state of mind which is " no one loves me" again this is not very true, people love you in different ways and sometimes it can be very difficult for them to show that they love you. On the road to recovery you need to be able to love yourself, to do this you need to find your best qualities and work on those because these are what people love most about you, for example sharing, kind, thoughtful, always a good listener. Sometimes we look at this and say but I am a terrible person, this is not true. I was talking to a friend ages ago and he was grieving and I had to talk him out of Suicide, I found the best way was to be always there for him and to let him know he could talk to me anytime he needed, I showed him that he wasn't a bad person but that he was good, fine we are all not perfect but that is just the way we are, we make mistakes all through our lives, the biggest quality in human nature is that we can put those things right, we can change. Sometimes it can also help to talk to them that you have also been through the same, or similar, at some point in your life. Very often they say " you don't know how it feels you have never been through this" well maybe not this particular difficulty, but similar and therefore you can understand what they must be going through and you would like to help. I have been through a depressive state, as it would be called, in my life and I managed with the help of friends and family to be pulled through, it was tough but worth it and now most days I can smile and laugh, I am determined to cheer friends up when they're down, even if I am not cheery myself and it cheers me to see people in a good mood. Drs are right when they say smile a little every day. The biggest advice here is to make sure you laugh a little every day or so, try and find a joke or tell some jokes or even watch something funny, a little bit of laughter does wonders. This is all I can think of for now, apart from being there for those who need it, although try not to try way to hard to be there for them they will come to you when they need/want to try and see lighter sides to aspects of life, enjoy nature around you and lastly but certainly not least you have to love yourself
All the best guys!
WBF

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Christoph1945 said:

Troubled,

I have been wondering if we can address you in some other way? By repeatedly addressing you as troubled; I wonder if we are reinforcing problems, or perhaps underpinning them.

May we address you by a first name? You, of course will still retain your anonymity! You could use your own first name, a middle name, or any name of your choosing; Fred, Bert, James or John would feel better than always addressing you as troubled; which you are not always going to be.

Stay safe, stay well, and continue the good progress.

Chris

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If you want call me Dave. I'm not really bothered by the name though, it doesn't make me feel anything different.

Not sure if i said it before or not but me and the "ex" aren't really talking now and I hate it, I'm second guessing myself about it all, I want a future with her but know I can't rely on it happening, not talking seems like a step backwards on the front of winning her round but when we had what I thought were progressive chats I'd no idea what she thought and I can't keep building my hopes up without knowing what she actually thinks. I'm very paranoid as well and don't want to keep accusing her of things or questioning her and her whereabouts.

I do think I feel a little more positive but then that might just be another faze

Nice one Dave.

I thought my partner/ girl friend (or whatever you're supposed to call love of my life when you get to 58) had turned the corner with her depression/anxiety
She had seen consultant and put on Pregbalin and also Vitamin D and iron supplement and with Spring around the corner and sun out there seemed to be a light at end of a dark tunnel.
This week however has been tough. Her mood has gone very low again, not sleeping well and pushing me away and lashing out (verbally not physically)
The side effects of the medication are hard to cope with
Her ex husband and older children are stirring things up and she thinks turning younger children against her
She complains she's lonely and has been asking me to find her a dog for company Didn't go down well when I explained you can't just turn up at rescue centres, pick a dog and take it home without any checks

The text I got tonight was heartbreaking when she said " I see no light at the end of this dark tunnel babe, and I'm tired of life to be honest "

I've begged her to talk to some professional to help her to feel good about herself. Myself, her family and friends constantly reassure her we are here for her all the time but it seems to have little effect
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. This has been going on now for about 6 months and now beginning to take its toll on me as well

BobGreen said:

I thought my partner/ girl friend (or whatever you're supposed to call love of my life when you get to 58) had turned the corner with her depression/anxiety
She had seen consultant and put on Pregbalin and also Vitamin D and iron supplement and with Spring around the corner and sun out there seemed to be a light at end of a dark tunnel.
This week however has been tough. Her mood has gone very low again, not sleeping well and pushing me away and lashing out (verbally not physically)
The side effects of the medication are hard to cope with
Her ex husband and older children are stirring things up and she thinks turning younger children against her
She complains she's lonely and has been asking me to find her a dog for company Didn't go down well when I explained you can't just turn up at rescue centres, pick a dog and take it home without any checks

The text I got tonight was heartbreaking when she said " I see no light at the end of this dark tunnel babe, and I'm tired of life to be honest "

I've begged her to talk to some professional to help her to feel good about herself. Myself, her family and friends constantly reassure her we are here for her all the time but it seems to have little effect
Hopefully tomorrow will be better. This has been going on now for about 6 months and now beginning to take its toll on me as well

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I think you need to get a dog pronto.

glasshouse said:

I think you need to get a dog pronto.

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There are plenty of places other than rescues that you could get a dog, look on preloved website and I am sure there would be some on there

Sounds hard for you @BobGreen , my oh has just been blood tested and been told her vit D levels are extremely low and have caused the following issues: brain fog, hard to concentrate on driving, conversation, disturbed sleep, bad coordination and general confusion. It's actually quite hard on her and has a history of depression and she tells me it's difficult to know the difference between low vit d and her past issues.

We were told by the doc it can take three months for vit d to build back up in the system and return to any form of normality. Don't know if that helps but it's what we've learnt.

A dog can be a great companion but I have to be honest and say they can also be an added stress due to temperament, training etc so be careful.

Hope you all the best.

Contemplating your present circumstances Bob, I can't help but wonder if there may be a danger of you obtaining an adult dog, that may bring in more problems than it solves.

It may well be worth the two of you visiting a dog rescue centre and talking the thing through with centre staff. That would help her to see that you are not just stone walling her and in the mean time something may just turn up that will surprise you both.

Our last dog was adopted from a rescue centre and we were vetted (pardon the pun) before we could actually have the dog homed with us. Once they were happy, two members brought the dog to our home and once again interviewed us, before leaving our new companion (Sid) with us. Before leaving, they informed us that ongoing checks would be done without our knowing about them.

Ps..............it may sound like a totally stupid question but are you and her former partner on talking terms?

Christoph1945 said:

Ps..............it may sound like a totally stupid question but are you and her former partner on talking terms?

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We could be if needed. Why do you ask?

I just wondered if between you both you could help to find a solution to your loved one's present state of mind. Silly thinking on my part perhaps?

Christoph1945 said:

I just wondered if between you both you could help to find a solution to your loved one's present state of mind. Silly thinking on my part perhaps?

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Even though they've been divorced 5 years he is still a lot of the problem. He bullied her throughout their marriage and still seems to be doing it now

Hmmm, I see; no help there then! It is, without doubt, a difficult situation for both you and your partner to be in but there will be a way through into better times.

Perhaps he hasn't really let go and is trying to still own her. I use the word own, because some folk do in fact see their partner on equal terms to objects that they they own.