I've had ewes this year that have had an apparent 'immaculate conception '
So your not the only one
Same here!
P.S. The school run too!
diary of a comedy sheep farm
- Thread starter spin cycle
- Start date
Same here!
P.S. The school run too!
- Location
- Lancashire
do any of you remember the tv adverts for hamlet cigars from the 70s + 80s?....well just at that moment i need a case of them
- Location
- Huntingdon
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
'seeds...thats what you need'...mrs spin thrusts an unpromising chocolate bar at me.....having torn me away from ploughing in order for a little job on her ice cream van the 'compensation' was this 'gnaw' bar......the squirrel picture on the wrapper wasn't a good sign....cranberries,nuts,sesame and seeds...i open it up and sure enough there's chocolate but poking out of it was all manner healthy looking debris....indeed this is the chocolate bar that the 'chelsea tractor' brigade buy their kids....packaged right...ingredients right...but no personality...says it all really.......i take a bite....it's horrible ....i mean surely this bar should have a health warning....choke hazard....nut allergy (cos believe me if you wern't allergic to nuts before you would be after eating this critter)....y/know what?...i bet raw squirrel tastes better than this....i mean giving this bar to kids is child cruelty ....indeed i'm so indignant i'm barely able to finish it....well it was chocolate
back home mrs spin produces a pack from the cupboard...'Aleso seeds' it proclaims....'there you are...sprinkle that on your porridge' mrs spin states.....unsure if thats a euphemism
i study the pack.... 35% sunflower, 35% pumpkin,15% golden linseed,15% hemp...i don't know if it would do me any good but my pigeons would love it...also let me advise you not to separate the hemp out and attempt to smoke it in a rollie...it'll only make you feel sick.....so i've been told
......the squirrel picture on the wrapper wasn't a good sign....cranberries,nuts,sesame and seeds...i open it up and sure enough there's chocolate but poking out of it was all manner healthy looking debris....indeed this is the chocolate bar that the 'chelsea tractor' brigade buy their kids....packaged right...ingredients right...but no personality...says it all really.......i take a bite....it's horrible ....i mean surely this bar should have a health warning....choke hazard....nut allergy (cos believe me if you wern't allergic to nuts before you would be after eating this critter)....y/know what?...i bet raw squirrel tastes better than this....i mean giving this bar to kids is child cruelty ....indeed i'm so indignant i'm barely able to finish it....well it was chocolateback home mrs spin produces a pack from the cupboard...'Aleso seeds' it proclaims....'there you are...sprinkle that on your porridge' mrs spin states.....unsure if thats a euphemism
i study the pack.... 35% sunflower, 35% pumpkin,15% golden linseed,15% hemp...i don't know if it would do me any good but my pigeons would love it...also let me advise you not to separate the hemp out and attempt to smoke it in a rollie...it'll only make you feel sick.....so i've been told'seeds...thats what you need'...mrs spin thrusts an unpromising chocolate bar at me.....having torn me away from ploughing in order for a little job on her ice cream van the 'compensation' was this 'gnaw' bar
back home mrs spin produces a pack from the cupboard...'Aleso seeds' it proclaims....'there you are...sprinkle that on your porridge' mrs spin states.....unsure if thats a euphemism
reminds me of the old playground joke, "what has a hazelnut in every bite ?"
"squirrel sh!t"
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
SOOoooo... tired.....day off diary today....back tommoz
....back tommoz 
- Location
- N.Lincs
A rest will make you spring into action like a new man in the morning..............SOOoooo... tired.....day off diary today
ShooTa
Member
- Location
- Denbighshire - In the vale of Clwyd!
good stories/diary - spit the coffee out about the my little pony twins ... weve had a few this year - sadly one little blighter got left behind by mum today and died from exposure to this snow/rain fest were having in wales. 2.5kg or some such on the scales at birth./ was a first timer mum tbf.
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
don't know about feeling a new man?..still knackered.....problem is that i'm trying to lamb..keep up with hep'ing and get little bits of corn/fb in....the latter is exacerbated by the stewardship as i'm not allowed to touch the fields jan/early feb......mrs spin says she feels like a new man
had a suffolk teg have twins...wasn't sure she was taking them....my suspicions confirmed this afternoon when i found she'd jumped out of the pen....walking back to the house i bump into our guest in turnip barn....'have you had a nice time?' i say....'oh lovely' she says 'i owe you some money'.....'ah just leave it on the side when you leave' i reply......'thats very relaxed' she continues......truth is i don't know how much she owes...i don't have much to do with booking after the 'incident' a couple of years ago
'THE INCIDENT'
so it's mid august saturday a couple of years ago...the guests have arrived....i'm combining and back at the yard tipping corn when a man walks up and says 'hello james'.....(feck he knows me and i havn't a clue)....'we're booked in the barn but someone is already in there'...(i remember him now...poor bugger came in may and it rained every day)....thats bye the bye...I'VE DOUBLE BOOKED
can you imagine a way of talking your way out of this....they've driven from sheffield and now nowhere to stay......we send them off to the pub on us and then a frantic couple of hours while mrs spin and i try to sort something out....mid august in north norfolk though everywhere is chocka ....in the end we nick 'gerrys' cottage next door as they're in scotland,,,they stay the weekend and then have a free week the following year....for some reason mrs spin is particularly stressed by the experience ......later in the year someone phones up and apologises for having to cancel their stay....i check the diary....the name i've got down isn't the person cancelling....'oh don't worry at all' i console her 'i think we might we able to refund your deposit'
every since mrs spin has done all the bookings for some reason
......mrs spin says she feels like a new manhad a suffolk teg have twins...wasn't sure she was taking them....my suspicions confirmed this afternoon when i found she'd jumped out of the pen
....walking back to the house i bump into our guest in turnip barn....'have you had a nice time?' i say....'oh lovely' she says 'i owe you some money'.....'ah just leave it on the side when you leave' i reply......'thats very relaxed' she continues......truth is i don't know how much she owes...i don't have much to do with booking after the 'incident' a couple of years ago 'THE INCIDENT'
so it's mid august saturday a couple of years ago...the guests have arrived....i'm combining and back at the yard tipping corn when a man walks up and says 'hello james'.....(feck he knows me and i havn't a clue)....'we're booked in the barn but someone is already in there'...(i remember him now...poor bugger came in may and it rained every day)
....thats bye the bye...I'VE DOUBLE BOOKED can you imagine a way of talking your way out of this
....they've driven from sheffield and now nowhere to stay......we send them off to the pub on us and then a frantic couple of hours while mrs spin and i try to sort something out....mid august in north norfolk though everywhere is chocka ....in the end we nick 'gerrys' cottage next door as they're in scotland,,,they stay the weekend and then have a free week the following year....for some reason mrs spin is particularly stressed by the experience ......later in the year someone phones up and apologises for having to cancel their stay....i check the diary....the name i've got down isn't the person cancelling....'oh don't worry at all' i console her 'i think we might we able to refund your deposit'every since mrs spin has done all the bookings for some reason
primmiemoo
Member
- Location
- Devon
Mum had a bookings diary for the accommodation she offered to holiday makers.
A small family of visitors stayed a fortnight too long one year, and all of us were glad to see the back of them. And didn't they want to come along for the same fortnight the next year!
I have an enduring image of Mum talking to them on the phone, closing her barely started diary, looking to the ceiling and counting silently to five before saying that sorry, she could see no vacancies at all for that month.
Most visitors were fine, though.
A small family of visitors stayed a fortnight too long one year, and all of us were glad to see the back of them. And didn't they want to come along for the same fortnight the next year!
I have an enduring image of Mum talking to them on the phone, closing her barely started diary, looking to the ceiling and counting silently to five before saying that sorry, she could see no vacancies at all for that month.
Most visitors were fine, though.
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
day started with helping a teg....she had another later.....did the 'arkwright' run then back for 'cinders' birthday present opening by 8am.....birthdays are a big deal in mrs spin's family so i was on orders to be home by 4pm for birthday tea...'you'll be lucky' i say grumpily ' i've stacks to do'....really 'her highness' could've helped me but she wouldn't....'boy' was off to karate but gave me an hour....'K' had day off for dress shopping for her daughters wedding which is fair enough.....i shall get my revenge on 'her highness'....lazy mare
by 11am i'm ready for some fieldwork....touch more fertiliser...rejig machines....by the time i'm in the field with triple k and rolls hitched behind (my preffered choice for beet ground...drill into the rolled work) city are just kicking off against qpr (12:30pm).....up and down i trundle happily listening to us winning....coffee + cig at halftime....an exlana x showing signs....then back to finish as city win....but have our star midfielder sent off....finish at fulltime.....back at yard i check drinking waters round sections then have to help that exlana.....big single...small aperture....bit of pottering then home on schedule for birthday tea.....have a laugh with 'weeta'
back to 'tidy up' 5:30...then home.....looking at forecast for tommoz....i need sun out for fb drilling ideally as to much moisture and soil builds up on drill press wheels .....might be unlucky.....ppl outside farming don't really appreciate the role weather plays in our job....i remember once 'kirk' wanting me to do something but i said i had to work...'it's a sunday jimmy...do it on monday' he said...'what are you doing monday' i asked him....'preparing a presentation' he replied....'tell you what' says i 'i'll come but if it rains on monday .as was forecast, you don't do your presentation'....he understood after that
.....did the 'arkwright' run then back for 'cinders' birthday present opening by 8am.....birthdays are a big deal in mrs spin's family so i was on orders to be home by 4pm for birthday tea...'you'll be lucky' i say grumpily ' i've stacks to do'....really 'her highness' could've helped me but she wouldn't....'boy' was off to karate but gave me an hour....'K' had day off for dress shopping for her daughters wedding which is fair enough.....i shall get my revenge on 'her highness'....lazy mareby 11am i'm ready for some fieldwork....touch more fertiliser...rejig machines....by the time i'm in the field with triple k and rolls hitched behind (my preffered choice for beet ground...drill into the rolled work) city are just kicking off against qpr (12:30pm)
.....up and down i trundle happily listening to us winning....coffee + cig at halftime....an exlana x showing signs....then back to finish as city win....but have our star midfielder sent off....finish at fulltime.....back at yard i check drinking waters round sections then have to help that exlana.....big single...small aperture....bit of pottering then home on schedule for birthday tea.....have a laugh with 'weeta'back to 'tidy up' 5:30...then home.....looking at forecast for tommoz
....i need sun out for fb drilling ideally as to much moisture and soil builds up on drill press wheels .....might be unlucky.....ppl outside farming don't really appreciate the role weather plays in our job....i remember once 'kirk' wanting me to do something but i said i had to work...'it's a sunday jimmy...do it on monday' he said...'what are you doing monday' i asked him....'preparing a presentation' he replied....'tell you what' says i 'i'll come but if it rains on monday .as was forecast, you don't do your presentation'....he understood after that
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
easy day today...up to farm 7:30 and i'm back home by 11am....sure some ewes + lambs got out and wandered about a bit but thats normal...i rattle the bucket they come back....i do have one to watch...837...outta the field and at the farmhouse back door eating nuts off back of the mule...she has twins one of which is a black (texel throwback?) ewe lamb....mum's teaching her the 'trade'....i've already been told i've got to keep her...TBH it's a bit like a very low security pow camp....i've to keep them in but the sheep have a 'duty' to try and escape...makes me sargeant schulz i suppose.....anything less than 10 sheep escaping isn't an emergency anymore though
it's not a drilling day...mist and rain...tommoz should be nice so i organise myself for a good start mon morning....what could possibly go wrong
back home i nip back to bed for a lie in....'boy' and 'her highness' were out all night and have returned to promptly go to bed so why shouldn't i .....lunch....order some grass seed....watch 'derry girls'....TBH i'm a bit bored....then 'gerry' rings....she wants to bring a friend round to see the lambs.....after that i'm back to farm
'cinders' is having a sleepover party in the barn...her friends help feeding the lambs....i then have a difficult lambing....loose first...second ok
back home i have to change the bedding in the 'hospital'....central heating's clicked on and there's an 'aroma' no plug in air freshener could tackle....3 candles and window slightly open just about mitigates it...our 'guests' are 'anna rexioa' who you know....'cowboy'...bowed legs....'bill & ben' (abandoned twins)....'ben' won't fecking shut up....and 'boomer'....he goes up to the farm but soon has to come back (bommerang)
right back to 'derry girls'
....sure some ewes + lambs got out and wandered about a bit but thats normal...i rattle the bucket they come back....i do have one to watch...837...outta the field and at the farmhouse back door eating nuts off back of the mule...she has twins one of which is a black (texel throwback?) ewe lamb....mum's teaching her the 'trade'....i've already been told i've got to keep her...TBH it's a bit like a very low security pow camp....i've to keep them in but the sheep have a 'duty' to try and escape...makes me sargeant schulz i suppose.....anything less than 10 sheep escaping isn't an emergency anymore thoughit's not a drilling day...mist and rain...tommoz should be nice so i organise myself for a good start mon morning
....what could possibly go wrongback home i nip back to bed for a lie in....'boy' and 'her highness' were out all night
and have returned to promptly go to bed so why shouldn't i .....lunch....order some grass seed....watch 'derry girls'....TBH i'm a bit bored....then 'gerry' rings....she wants to bring a friend round to see the lambs.....after that i'm back to farm'cinders' is having a sleepover party in the barn...her friends help feeding the lambs
....i then have a difficult lambing....loose first...second okback home i have to change the bedding in the 'hospital'
....central heating's clicked on and there's an 'aroma' no plug in air freshener could tackle....3 candles and window slightly open just about mitigates it...our 'guests' are 'anna rexioa' who you know....'cowboy'...bowed legs....'bill & ben' (abandoned twins)....'ben' won't fecking shut up....and 'boomer'....he goes up to the farm but soon has to come back (bommerang)right back to 'derry girls'
Cab-over Pete
Member
- Location
- Kenilworth, Warwickshire
Glad the pressure is easing for you.
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
so today went exactly according to plan.....which means i must've fecked something up without realising it.....few lambs jag/wormed...then fb drilled (bar headland)
mum's ankle giving cause for concern....nhs is grinding very slowly
i have plan for rest of the week....wednesday could be 'interesting'
.....which means i must've fecked something up without realising it.....few lambs jag/wormed...then fb drilled (bar headland)mum's ankle giving cause for concern....nhs is grinding very slowly
i have plan for rest of the week....wednesday could be 'interesting'
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
£310 up....more on that later
cold,dry,easterly winds here at the mo...made me grumpy early on + those still inside need 'fettling'.....mind you an hour on the teleporter and everything had straw,hay and fodder beet...plus a yard tidy....and only one lambing hurdle slightly dented.....very productive things teleporters but so dangerous/destructive
find housed ewe with mastitis....noticed her off her food yesterday but later she was cudding and i was distracted wanting to go drilling.......i've also managed to misplace both my elastrators....ahhh i'll just say i'm 'improving' animal welfare
whilst doing tegs the 4 ewes/lambs outside go outta the gate...i don't even bother these days...i carry on and once finished i go looking for them....i find 3 of them in the top meadow...i leave them there
next up is drill the fb headland and work up the small triangle piece for barley thats left in the piece then lunch.....slightly longer than planned as i nod off.....postie has been....getting £170 refund for sugar beet levy taken nearly 20 yrs ago + interest
off to drill the little piece....problem....the ha/meter on the grain drill + the area of fb according to the amount of beet seed used yesterday don't tally.......conclusion...belt slip on beet drill....enough seed has gone on...but will there be a lot of big gaps?.....to late now
back at yard some regular turnip barn customers turn up for couple of nights....they were due in march but family problems meant the cancelled....anyhoo they're back and set to pay £140....ewe 837...the missing ewe from am arrives and declares it's tea time....i fetch the other 3 ...shut them up with vittles
right time to shower/shave..going out tommoz ....to the abbatoir so gotta look my best
....more on that latercold,dry,easterly winds here at the mo
...made me grumpy early on + those still inside need 'fettling'.....mind you an hour on the teleporter and everything had straw,hay and fodder beet...plus a yard tidy....and only one lambing hurdle slightly dented.....very productive things teleporters but so dangerous/destructivefind housed ewe with mastitis....noticed her off her food yesterday but later she was cudding and i was distracted wanting to go drilling
.......i've also managed to misplace both my elastrators....ahhh i'll just say i'm 'improving' animal welfarewhilst doing tegs the 4 ewes/lambs outside go outta the gate...i don't even bother these days...i carry on and once finished i go looking for them....i find 3 of them in the top meadow...i leave them there
next up is drill the fb headland and work up the small triangle piece for barley thats left in the piece then lunch.....slightly longer than planned as i nod off
.....postie has been....getting £170 refund for sugar beet levy taken nearly 20 yrs ago + interestoff to drill the little piece....problem
....the ha/meter on the grain drill + the area of fb according to the amount of beet seed used yesterday don't tally.......conclusion...belt slip on beet drill....enough seed has gone on...but will there be a lot of big gaps?.....to late nowback at yard some regular turnip barn customers turn up for couple of nights....they were due in march but family problems meant the cancelled
....anyhoo they're back and set to pay £140....ewe 837...the missing ewe from am arrives and declares it's tea time....i fetch the other 3 ...shut them up with vittlesright time to shower/shave..going out tommoz
....to the abbatoir so gotta look my best
Cab-over Pete
Member
- Location
- Kenilworth, Warwickshire
Pay day tomorrow as well then!
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
could it be?....i mean it's still a 'cock up' but it's less of a 'cock up'.....like the 'defcon' scale where 1 is armageddon and 10 is world peace....my 'cock up con' (CUC).....is receding it seems...i mean it's still 6....but thats better than 3 right....the last month has been tough and there's a lot to do to catch up....but could a CUC 8 be possible?....god CUC 8 would be a dream
lost a lamb this morning in a freak accident but otherwise today went well....more lambs than i thought in the batch....catching was a little stressful but after that the way we hep'ed, wormed and treated any orf was impressive by our standards....even 'K' joked she was on the wrong farm....837 was even in the right place...though she did get out later
by 1:30pm i was away to abbatoir with a few lambs.....a big jd with one of these fancy disc/cultivator things was marooned with a puncture....sh!t happens to big boys....i met him going again on my way home
ewe lambs are a bit of a mess....gotta get them scanned but thats next weeks prob....got a teg with twins running in with inlambers....lost my diary.....office in a state .....but we're a solid CUC 5...edging 6
right city on ifollow...OTBC
.....like the 'defcon' scale where 1 is armageddon and 10 is world peace....my 'cock up con' (CUC).....is receding it seems...i mean it's still 6....but thats better than 3 right....the last month has been tough and there's a lot to do to catch up....but could a CUC 8 be possible?....god CUC 8 would be a dreamlost a lamb this morning in a freak accident but otherwise today went well....more lambs than i thought in the batch....catching was a little stressful but after that the way we hep'ed, wormed and treated any orf was impressive by our standards....even 'K' joked she was on the wrong farm
....837 was even in the right place...though she did get out laterby 1:30pm i was away to abbatoir with a few lambs.....a big jd with one of these fancy disc/cultivator things was marooned with a puncture....sh!t happens to big boys
....i met him going again on my way homeewe lambs are a bit of a mess....gotta get them scanned but thats next weeks prob....got a teg with twins running in with inlambers
....lost my diary.....office in a state .....but we're a solid CUC 5...edging 6right city on ifollow...OTBC
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
'O.. R.. O..R.. O.. R'.....no it's not the lyrics from a wurzles chorus....it's my latest kill sheet....ho hum ...it's a problem that'll be fixed this year given the texel/beltex and beltex rams i went back to last autumn....they're more work but what do you do?....is it better to have a lamb thats no trouble until you hang it up or vice versa.....no happy medium for me as yet
yesterday was pretty regulation....mob handed with 'boy' and 'dude' we did the last batch of lambs,,,,,no more to hep/worm for 10 days....then i got them to sweep the front yard and set them a '20m bodge fence' challenge which they did quite well
back to today...i'm on me todd...get done then get plough on and give her a look....she's ok but new points would finish off this year and she'd be put away ready for next....so off to fakenham....bank pay in...i add cheques up wrong....plus £200.....to the 'yard of many bargains' for points.....almost buy a tractor but it's sold....perhaps just as well ....get home fit points....lunch
few odd jobs after lunch....then off ploughing....it's cold and dry and this bit of land goes over like rocks....i can't get it to plough level and the turnover mechanism is playing up.....anyhoo all of a sudden the mule + mum come speeding down the field....'oh no' i think 'somethings wrong....she's going too fast for a mere sheep escape...this is an emergency'.....i've already stopped and dismounted.....mum is apoplectic...'they havn't delivered my pills' she rants.....TBH i'm just relieved it was nothing worse.....thats the end of ploughing though....home and off to holt for pills.....driving out of lane i meet a couple in a car loaded up...'perhaps they're our new guests' i muse...then i remember our guests have already arrived....surely not.....to holt and back i worry that they'll be sat in yard when i return...phew they arn't
and home where i complain about having to go to an upcoming village event and mrs spin calls me a miserable b'stard.....ah domestic bliss
....ho hum ...it's a problem that'll be fixed this year given the texel/beltex and beltex rams i went back to last autumn....they're more work but what do you do?....is it better to have a lamb thats no trouble until you hang it up or vice versa.....no happy medium for me as yetyesterday was pretty regulation....mob handed with 'boy' and 'dude' we did the last batch of lambs,,,,,no more to hep/worm for 10 days
....then i got them to sweep the front yard and set them a '20m bodge fence' challenge which they did quite wellback to today...i'm on me todd...get done then get plough on and give her a look
....she's ok but new points would finish off this year and she'd be put away ready for next....so off to fakenham....bank pay in...i add cheques up wrong....plus £200.....to the 'yard of many bargains' for points.....almost buy a tractor but it's sold....perhaps just as well ....get home fit points....lunchfew odd jobs after lunch....then off ploughing....it's cold and dry and this bit of land goes over like rocks....i can't get it to plough level and the turnover mechanism is playing up
.....anyhoo all of a sudden the mule + mum come speeding down the field....'oh no' i think 'somethings wrong....she's going too fast for a mere sheep escape...this is an emergency'.....i've already stopped and dismounted.....mum is apoplectic...'they havn't delivered my pills' she rants.....TBH i'm just relieved it was nothing worse.....thats the end of ploughing though....home and off to holt for pills.....driving out of lane i meet a couple in a car loaded up...'perhaps they're our new guests' i muse...then i remember our guests have already arrived....surely not.....to holt and back i worry that they'll be sat in yard when i return...phew they arn'tand home where i complain about having to go to an upcoming village event and mrs spin calls me a miserable b'stard.....ah domestic bliss
Cab-over Pete
Member
- Location
- Kenilworth, Warwickshire
I think I too am married to a Mrs Spin.
- Location
- N.Lincs
Hmmm.....me too
I see a bit of a thing developing here.....I wonder if it's us or them