Dad - the car is making a funny noise

TheTallGuy

Member
Location
Cambridgeshire
Not long after passing my test I was out driving one evening & came across an elderly couple struggling to change a wheel on something like a Corsa. Feeling generous I stopped to lend a hand - the old boy was struggling to undo the wheel nuts, so advised him to let my younger arms have a go. As soon as I tried... "Young man, don't you know that the wheel nuts are a left hand thread to stop them unravelling whilst the wheels are turning" :banghead: :banghead:

I diplomatically tried explaining that it's not the case on modern vehicles, but that provoked a diatribe about him having driven for 50 years & thus knowing what he was talking about. He wrested the wheel brace from my hand & proceeded to carry on bouncing up and down further tightening up the nuts. By this point a police car had pulled up, plod agreed with me, but the old boy refused to believe the copper who got quite exasperated. In a flash of inspiration I suggested that maybe if we "turned them the wrong way a bit it might free them up by compression". Eventually managed to free them off & proved that we were right about which way the nuts tighten... old boy got really narky & criticised everything we did - jack placement, not lifting high enough, then too-high - "you'll damage the suspension", taking too long, not tightening the nuts enough, nuts too tight.... "They need to teach you youngsters about showing respect to your elders & betters...."
 

Tomr10

Member
Not long after passing my test I was out driving one evening & came across an elderly couple struggling to change a wheel on something like a Corsa. Feeling generous I stopped to lend a hand - the old boy was struggling to undo the wheel nuts, so advised him to let my younger arms have a go. As soon as I tried... "Young man, don't you know that the wheel nuts are a left hand thread to stop them unravelling whilst the wheels are turning" :banghead: :banghead:

I diplomatically tried explaining that it's not the case on modern vehicles, but that provoked a diatribe about him having driven for 50 years & thus knowing what he was talking about. He wrested the wheel brace from my hand & proceeded to carry on bouncing up and down further tightening up the nuts. By this point a police car had pulled up, plod agreed with me, but the old boy refused to believe the copper who got quite exasperated. In a flash of inspiration I suggested that maybe if we "turned them the wrong way a bit it might free them up by compression". Eventually managed to free them off & proved that we were right about which way the nuts tighten... old boy got really narky & criticised everything we did - jack placement, not lifting high enough, then too-high - "you'll damage the suspension", taking too long, not tightening the nuts enough, nuts too tight.... "They need to teach you youngsters about showing respect to your elders & betters...."
I've help someone that tried to give me money
 

Robt

Member
Location
Suffolk
My wife caught me the other morning.
''Can i borrow your car?''
'' Why?''
'' Mine has a red light on the dash and I'm late, you are working from home so dont need yours''
''Ok, just don bloody scratch it''


I go out to check, ..................................................... The fuel light... Zero range and we live 20 miles away from nearest fuel station.... Great!
 

Yale

Member
Livestock Farmer
My wife caught me the other morning.
''Can i borrow your car?''
'' Why?''
'' Mine has a red light on the dash and I'm late, you are working from home so dont need yours''
''Ok, just don bloody scratch it''


I go out to check, ..................................................... The fuel light... Zero range and we live 20 miles away from nearest fuel station.... Great!
Now that‘s one positive about an electric car. (y)
 

Celt83

Member
Livestock Farmer
My wife caught me the other morning.
''Can i borrow your car?''
'' Why?''
'' Mine has a red light on the dash and I'm late, you are working from home so dont need yours''
''Ok, just don bloody scratch it''


I go out to check, ..................................................... The fuel light... Zero range and we live 20 miles away from nearest fuel station.... Great!
This time of year I lead a very boring life feeding, muck out, feeding, muck out......

So to keep myself entertained I play petrol station bingo with the wife's car. Wait until the gage reads zero then drive 5 more miles then I park the car up and wait for her to phone and say she's conked out! 😂
 

britt

Member
BASE UK Member
This time of year I lead a very boring life feeding, muck out, feeding, muck out......

So to keep myself entertained I play petrol station bingo with the wife's car. Wait until the gage reads zero then drive 5 more miles then I park the car up and wait for her to phone and say she's conked out! 😂
My wife doesn't use the fuel gauge, she resets the miles when she fills up and then knows how far it goes on a tank full. Don't you just love'em.
But if the guage gets into the red it's my fault !
 

vantage

Member
Location
Pembs
Well I think I can beat that, I was threatened with legal action from a solicitor because their client didn't receive PPE when working on the Amoco oil refinery in 1972.....
It was actually the previous owner of my house who ran the construction company. It was wound up sometime in the late 70's. He died 10 years ago. I would have been 3 years old at the time. Despite the absurdity of it all, I received a court summons. Did get an apology from the court eventually, but not from the barsteward solicitor.:mad:
@Walterp by any chance?! :p
I do so miss his posting, not so much his viewpoints, but his masterful use of the English language
 

Cowabunga

Member
Location
Ceredigion,Wales
My wife caught me the other morning.
''Can i borrow your car?''
'' Why?''
'' Mine has a red light on the dash and I'm late, you are working from home so dont need yours''
''Ok, just don bloody scratch it''


I go out to check, ..................................................... The fuel light... Zero range and we live 20 miles away from nearest fuel station.... Great!
That’s why I run diesels and have a grrt big tank of dino-juice on the yard.
 

Dry Rot

Member
Livestock Farmer
That’s why I run diesels and have a grrt big tank of dino-juice on the yard.
The Revenue will catch you!:confused:

I was stopped recently. Me: long face. "I suppose it is a fixed penalty and plus the duty?" Him: "Oh no, it is a heavy fine these days, and we seize the car". Me: "But if you took my truck, how would I get home?" Him: "That's your problem. If you break the law, you accept the consequences". Him: Stern face as he continues to dip the tank, giving me a lecture on the evils of fuel tax evasion. More long faces from me. Produce wallet, scratch nose, wink, facial contorsions.....

The sample comes up clear. Him: "But you are not using red diesel!". Me: "I didn't say I was! But I'm sure you are very bored doing this all day and I just thought I'd give you the thrill of thinking that you'd got one!". :LOL: I got a smile and a friendly wave when he saw me on my return journey later!
 

Exfarmer

Member
Location
Bury St Edmunds
lad I was at school with, some 50 odd years ago set himself up as a tyre dealer. Worked at the back of a big drivers stop.
Things went well selling cheap tyres to any lorry coming in which needed them . Driver would have his break while he changed the tyres all by hand. He was doing well until one day the police caught him nicking them off other lorries coming in with a brand new set. 😀
And this was Newport Pagnell services on the M1 not Liverpool
 

AftonShepherd

Member
Livestock Farmer
Location
East Ayrshire
thanks for that,might be better as always replacing lightning cables as dont last long :mad:
I'm on Motorola androids and have been for years. Latest one uses a USB-C instead of micro-USB and I haven't had a cable stop working in nearly two years. Previously was a race between my micro-USBs and my daughter's lightnings to see which self-destructed first.
 
Once got a phone call from my brothers girlfriend after she had finished work, about 10pm, saying all the lights on her car had stopped working.

Went round to where she worked, about 2 miles away. She was panicking. Got in turned the lights on, and they all came on. Turned out she was turning the wrong stalk and putting the rear wiper on. God knows how you can forget where the lights are when she had owned the car for 2 years and finishs work in the dark every night.

About 6 months later got a phone call off her saying the key wont turn, told her to wiggle the steering wheel as the steering lock will be on, "no it still not turning". Went down to their house, gave the wheel a wiggle and it turned straight away.

Shes definitely not the brightest
 

The new Sustainable Farming Incentive

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The new Sustainable Farming Incentive

Written by Tom Lewis


Source: Natural England

At NFU21, The Secretary of State for Environment, Food and Rural Affairs...
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