Farming & Retraining

[Uncertain]

The biggest thing I can't shake is...why does it feel like failure and walking away?

I did have grand plans for things I wanted to do and see what others have achieved and wanted that for myself. But it hasnt happened and not for the lack of effort neither. So why does it weigh heavy on my shoulders? I doubt it would in any other industry.

 

[Wood field]

The biggest thing I can't shake is...why does it feel like failure and walking away?

I did have grand plans for things I wanted to do and see what others have achieved and wanted that for myself. But it hasnt happened and not for the lack of effort neither. So why does it weigh heavy on my shoulders? I doubt it would in any other industry.

That’s more down to you as a person, it’s not failing or walking away.
I was the opposite to you, wanted more than anything to farm but my dad said no , left school and done 41/2 year apprenticeship as an engineering fitter and turner , college to hnd level traveled all over on jobs but when we finally got the farm I was torn giving up my trade and the feeling of letting family down
It was in honesty the best thing I ever done , fortunately my wife is 100% with me !
best wishes whatever you decide

 

[Hill Ground]

The biggest thing I can't shake is...why does it feel like failure and walking away?

I did have grand plans for things I wanted to do and see what others have achieved and wanted that for myself. But it hasnt happened and not for the lack of effort neither. So why does it weigh heavy on my shoulders? I doubt it would in any other industry.

I don't think those feelings are unique to you.

For example, i bet alot of relationships stumble along past there sell by date for similar reasons and feelings.

Best to try and look forward, not back, or sideways at " what could have been!"

 

[Tamar]

I would love to. Do you know someone who'd sponsor me for a visa?

Thought you had already emigrated to Scotland !!



I know when we are young we all want a job that pays well and farming might seam like a feckless task at times, but it is also very varied and rarely boring.

Now I am older and wiser, I look back on my younger days and am glad that I was a farmer and was always around to see my kids grow up everyday. That wouldn't have happened if I had a 'proper' job that made me leave the house before they got up or arrived just as they went to bed.

The grass isn't always greener on the otherside.......... however much it pays.

 

[Bury the Trash]

It's often the men who shoulder most (if not all) of the stress (financial and the day to day running/management of the farm), while mumsy and the kids get to enjoy the lifestyle of it. I.e. dad gets the sh!t part, mum and the kids get the good part.

Other way around , often its the Farm Women who shoulder more unless its different in NZ

This is obviously the reason why men are massively, massively over represented in farmer mental health/suicide stats.

The reason why , Where have you got that from?
Women have just as much mind illness as men .

If mum doesn't fancy staying at home with the kids, send her out into the workforce for a bit.

what a poor thing to state , you have no idea about the people involved and is looking after children not work?

Food for thought.

You need to be the one to have more thought it appears .

 

[mrs mtx]

I would speak to as many people as you can in any trade you are thinking about. Ask as many questions as you can and then choose something you are interested in and can see yourself doing.
I left 10 years in pharmacy and am now training to be a chartered accountant! At the start it felt like a failure after putting so many years in to it but I had my reasons for wanting to leave the nhs and now when I speak to old colleagues, I know I made the right choice!
Good luck with what ever you decide!

 

[Whitewalker]

Thought you had already emigrated to Scotland !!



I know when we are young we all want a job that pays well and farming might seam like a feckless task at times, but it is also very varied and rarely boring.

Now I am older and wiser, I look back on my younger days and am glad that I was a farmer and was always around to see my kids grow up everyday. That wouldn't have happened if I had a 'proper' job that made me leave the house before they got up or arrived just as they went to bed.

The grass isn't always greener on the otherside.......... however much it pays.

It just struck me today that we have nearly completed our job as parents as far as getting them to near adults and independence. The house we have that has been erring on the small size has will soon be shedding occupants. We may not have had lots of spare cash but we all have enjoyed the journey, I'm like a few on here , I'm looking at doing other things but glad I've farmed til now and will continue to.

Life slips past far too quickly. The old saying of life passes you by while you plan your life is all but too true . The most important things in life money can't buy. However you need to be happy in what you do

 

[box]

Other way around , often its the Farm Women who shoulder more unless its different in NZ

The reason why , Where have you got that from?
Women have just as much mind illness as men .

what a poor thing to state , you have no idea about the people involved and is looking after children not work?

You need to be the one to have more thought it appears .

Oops. Quite defensive there Mr. Trash, hit a nerve have I? Or are you the OP?


Male vs female farming stats are there in black and white, do the research.

Raising children is a job. A very important one at that. But if mum doesn't want to be a stay at home mum, send her out to earn her keep and be a stay at home dad instead.

Why would I need to have a think about it? I'm not the one making anonymous threads on an internet forum and asking for opinions?

The theme of my post was you've got be happy doing what you're doing, not doing it because you feel you have to.

 

[Bury the Trash]

No , I'm not the OP (would be nice to be mid 30's again though )and i'll reply tomorrow its bedtime now in this part of the World

 

[Tractorstant]

The biggest thing I can't shake is...why does it feel like failure and walking away?

I did have grand plans for things I wanted to do and see what others have achieved and wanted that for myself. But it hasnt happened and not for the lack of effort neither. So why does it weigh heavy on my shoulders? I doubt it would in any other industry.

Do you know these feelings are not unique to you? Sorry to pee on your cornflakes.

If you "walked away," you fear people would see that as a failure. That's just not true; you think you'll be judged, but no one will.

And don't compare yourself to others, my god; if I put up pictures of what I did and where I was yesterday ( as my job ), you would think I have it made! I came home last night to a stack load of bills, sore feet, and a call from the old boss accusing me of stealing a client. To me, your rolling hills and farm sound ideal!

What was that TV program, "Faking It?" where people from different walks of life had to convince people they had been doing the job for years? I'd love to do a job swap for a week or so would make great TV.

Keep your head up,

Matt.

 

[Tractorstant]

Hi , if you do go to agritechnica we need to meet up for a schnitzel!

Sounds like a plan.

 

[Uncertain]

Do you know these feelings are not unique to you? Sorry to pee on your cornflakes.

If you "walked away," you fear people would see that as a failure. That's just not true; you think you'll be judged, but no one will.

And don't compare yourself to others, my god; if I put up pictures of what I did and where I was yesterday ( as my job ), you would think I have it made! I came home last night to a stack load of bills, sore feet, and a call from the old boss accusing me of stealing a client. To me, your rolling hills and farm sound ideal!

What was that TV program, "Faking It?" where people from different walks of life had to convince people they had been doing the job for years? I'd love to do a job swap for a week or so would make great TV.

Keep your head up,

Matt.

Don't eat cornflakes

It's just weird how a sense of perceived failure can seemingly weigh us down and cloud our thinking. This thread wasnt intended to be a pity party anyway but it was just something that was swirling around in the grey.

 

[Whitewalker]

Don't eat cornflakes

It's just weird how a sense of perceived failure can seemingly weigh us down and cloud our thinking. This thread wasnt intended to be a pity party anyway but it was just something that was swirling around in the grey.

Reality is, your probably ahead of the game in practical skills and work ethic, you just need to find the confidence to try something new , you may love some things, you may not , maybe even realise that farming not that bad . Don't be afraid to push yourself to find an odd day to tag along with someone friendly and experience something different. Whether you change or not it might just settle your mind when you look back in 10 years . Sorry to pee on your non intended pity party

 

[Stewie]

Reality is, your probably ahead of the game in practical skills and work ethic, you just need to find the confidence to try something new , you may love some things, you may not , maybe even realise that farming not that bad . Don't be afraid to push yourself to find an odd day to tag along with someone friendly and experience something different. Whether you change or not it might just settle your mind when you look back in 10 years . Sorry to pee on your non intended pity party

To the OP, I would use the winter slowdown to get a part time job in some field that interests you to see if you still fancy it once the novelty wears off.
Also, no offence but if you are mid-30s and have always worked self-employed, don’t take for granted that you’ll be able to switch easily to having a boss, so better test that as well.

 

[Hilly]

The biggest thing I can't shake is...why does it feel like failure and walking away?

I did have grand plans for things I wanted to do and see what others have achieved and wanted that for myself. But it hasnt happened and not for the lack of effort neither. So why does it weigh heavy on my shoulders? I doubt it would in any other industry.

Id say its success not failing.

 

[Whitewalker]

To the OP, I would use the winter slowdown to get a part time job in some field that interests you to see if you still fancy it once the novelty wears off.
Also, no offence but if you are mid-30s and have always worked self-employed, don’t take for granted that you’ll be able to switch easily to having a boss, so better test that as well.

I personally have found no issue working to someone else despite being self employed all my life . I'm older too . It's all down to mindset really

 

[Bury the Trash]

I personally have found no issue working to someone else despite being self employed all my life . I'm older too . It's all down to mindset really

It helps if you respect/like them as well.
One of the best chaps ive ever worked for (as self employed) is advertising a job atm (quite similar to farm work) beautiful setting house included, very small friendly team ) that if were 30 yrs younger i would ge for like a shot. but that's me now speaking with hindsight and current mind set, not how i was /as farming was 30 yrs ago .and that job wasnt availiable then was it.
Also over the years I have done work at some points for right goons. key there is knowing/having the confidence to move on quickly
but i have to say Keeping well and bringing up my Family has been far more successful and satisfying than any farming (which has been a very rocky road at times ) ive ever done to put it bluntly. So that would be my full on priority if i were as in the op . because that s been by far the best thing ive ever done .
Its difficult to explain/put into words and Hindsight is all helpful

 

[Whitewalker]

It helps if you respect/like them as well.
One of the best chaps ive ever worked for (as self employed) is advertising a job atm (quite similar to farm work) beautiful setting house included) that if were 30 yrs younger i would ge for like a shot. but that's me now speaking with hindsight and current mind set, not how i was /as farming was 30 yrs ago .and that job wasnt availiable then was it.
Also over the years I have done work at some points for right goons. key there is knowing/having the confidence to move on quickly
Keeping well and bringing up my Family has been far more successful and satisfying than any farming ive ever done to put it bluntly. So that would be my full on priority if i were as in the op . because that s been by far the best thing ive ever done .
Its difficult to explain/put into words and Hindsight is all helpful

Well yes if you respect someone, it certainly makes all the difference . Very wise words

 

[Boomerang]

Being satisfied with your lot is very important.
But one person's idea of satisfaction is totally different to another's.
Working out what you actually really want from life is the starting point and one of the most important questions you can ask yourself. Once you know that then you can set out a plan of action and direction to follow.easier said then done tho.
I know a guy who earns 25k a year little car , little flat and is happy as Larry enjoys his job and is satisfied.
Another guy I know earns 100k plus a year , drives a porsche and doesn't particularly like his job but it pays well.
I would say the first guy is happiest and most content.
Enjoy what you do and never work a day in your life.
I.know an awful lot of folk who hate their jobs but are stuck in a rut.
Life is to be lived not endured.

 

[Bury the Trash]

The Opening post is how to maintain successfully a young family with income from Farming in increasingly volatile times. without it ending in disaster /divorce etc .

The problem can be that looking around at a lot of farmers who are well established ,with money invested in other things , money coming on from other sources besides AG ones ,it can be very deceiving and they wont tell the fact that they do that /don't actually rely on Farming totally which will give a very skewed picture to anyone with out the buffer of a relatively large area of land owned or a cottage or to rented out. It can be really quite surprising what some have that others know nothing of , and it might look as though its farming income giving totally the wrong impression .
All to being connected to being happy with the job . They might be but then they have a lot more to go on ,not the worry having to buy the next car when the old one gets to far gone, pay the increasing utility bills rent mortgage. ........
Got to be real about it and place the value on things that are most important . Like a priority list of importance i guess.

It really Needs comment from those with similar experience /similar resources/Family responsibility .