Farming stigma…. Working like “crazy”

[BenSimons]

As a farmers son, almost 40 I do feel stigmatised by my farming friends and family for actually wanting to go home in the evening and weekends to my family. Quite a few of the farmers I know work constantly (12-16) hours a day 7 days a week and do nothing else. Of course they talk they have no option but to work non stop and I know sometimes (small family dairy farmers etc and others) this is true but the vast majority of the time I think these people just love what they do and can’t imagine doing anything else with their time. They want to buy more machines, they want a bigger farm or business and they don’t have much interest in
or spending time with their wives or children. I’m not like this myself and try to work 10 hours a day 5 or 6 days of the week mostly. Of course I work crazy hours when we are harvesting or when something important comes up on the farm. I also feel stigmatised by my parents (my dad being on the farm himself till 9pm every night 7 days a week without fail). Who have always told me its not possible to farm the way I work. Of course I have learned this is absolute rubbish because everyone can manage their own finances however they want to and if it means not having those new machines or having slightly less profit and actually spending more time with your family then so be it.
I have been shocked by my friends in the farming industry though, who say they have to work so much they have no choice, and the next minute there is a new tractor on the yard and they start all over again. This happens a lot in farming I think.

It does make a difference what your wife does of course, if she’s on the farm with you every day supporting your work then it does make more sense. My wife works full time herself away from the farm and we live away from the farm too so that makes a difference as well.

 

[crashbox]

Fair post.

Each to their own, you crack on. There's more to life than farming.

 

[Jasper]

I saw a post on here the other day and it said the only people that remember all the long hours you work are your kids and I thought how true . Life really is to short

 

[Y Fan Wen]

When I got married Dad insisted that I take Mrs Y away on holiday every year and in due course, the little one as well. I will be forever grateful that he knew what the priorities were. 'Yes I know you've got a full week's work ahead of you. If you didn't go away you would still have a full week's work anyway. Now b****** off!' Thanks Dad.

 

[capfits]

Presenteism is the killer of enthusiasm.
We are only here once keep enjoying the journey.

 

[willowwarbler]

O P - you are working more than enough hours, enjoy your family- no need to feel guilty! [ and surround yourself with friends who help you thrive ]
'He who wins the rat race is still a rat ' is a saying I ve tried to live by!

 

[Johnnyboxer]

Live your own life
Your family will thank you
365 days per year and whilst there are undoubtedly short bursts of busy times (lambing/block calving and of course harvest/drilling/ planting) - there shouldn’t be any need for 12-14 hour days for all of those 365 days
I know plenty of farmers who get a decent work/life balance and make the job easier so they can do that

 

[ford4000]

I saw a post on here the other day and it said the only people that remember all the long hours you work are your kids and I thought how true . Life really is to short

Hopefully your children will have picked up the work ethic thought which will be a lifelong benefit for them.
When our eldest daughter started a new summer holidays job the manager soon asked her what her parents did, when she said farmer and Nurse he said it that explains it. The owner was trying to get her to work there full time after a few weeks, but she declined as she was off to university

 

[Jasper]

Hopefully your children will have picked up the work ethic thought which will be a lifelong benefit for them.
When our eldest daughter started a new summer holidays job the manager soon asked her what her parents did, when she said farmer and Nurse he said it that explains it. The owner was trying to get her to work there full time after a few weeks, but she declined as she was off to university

I agree entirely. But there’s long hours and stupid hours . Some folks get more done in 40 hours than some do in 80

 

[Wombat]

I think a lot of farmers just make themselves busy

 

[Jasper]

I think a lot of farmers just make themselves busy

A lot I know think hard graft is eating a fry up at the market twice a week

 

[Northern territory]

As a farmers son, almost 40 I do feel stigmatised by my farming friends and family for actually wanting to go home in the evening and weekends to my family. Quite a few of the farmers I know work constantly (12-16) hours a day 7 days a week and do nothing else. Of course they talk they have no option but to work non stop and I know sometimes (small family dairy farmers etc and others) this is true but the vast majority of the time I think these people just love what they do and can’t imagine doing anything else with their time. They want to buy more machines, they want a bigger farm or business and they don’t have much interest in
or spending time with their wives or children. I’m not like this myself and try to work 10 hours a day 5 or 6 days of the week mostly. Of course I work crazy hours when we are harvesting or when something important comes up on the farm. I also feel stigmatised by my parents (my dad being on the farm himself till 9pm every night 7 days a week without fail). Who have always told me its not possible to farm the way I work. Of course I have learned this is absolute rubbish because everyone can manage their own finances however they want to and if it means not having those new machines or having slightly less profit and actually spending more time with your family then so be it.
I have been shocked by my friends in the farming industry though, who say they have to work so much they have no choice, and the next minute there is a new tractor on the yard and they start all over again. This happens a lot in farming I think.

It does make a difference what your wife does of course, if she’s on the farm with you every day supporting your work then it does make more sense. My wife works full time herself away from the farm and we live away from the farm too so that makes a difference as well.

Don’t feel guilty, I wish I could give my kids a bit more time but difficult at certain times of year.

 

[SilliamWhale]

After 28 years at it I've never known a false god like farming. It doesn't give enough back for my liking, no way are excess hours worth it.

It's also the protestant work ethic, what pains you is good for you etc. Work hours associated with self worth, it's all bollox.

The best thing I do in the summer is take a day off in the week and go on a bike ride or go out for lunch. Sod it

 

[Kiwi Pete]

As a farmers son, almost 40 I do feel stigmatised by my farming friends and family for actually wanting to go home in the evening and weekends to my family. Quite a few of the farmers I know work constantly (12-16) hours a day 7 days a week and do nothing else. Of course they talk they have no option but to work non stop and I know sometimes (small family dairy farmers etc and others) this is true but the vast majority of the time I think these people just love what they do and can’t imagine doing anything else with their time. They want to buy more machines, they want a bigger farm or business and they don’t have much interest in
or spending time with their wives or children. I’m not like this myself and try to work 10 hours a day 5 or 6 days of the week mostly. Of course I work crazy hours when we are harvesting or when something important comes up on the farm. I also feel stigmatised by my parents (my dad being on the farm himself till 9pm every night 7 days a week without fail). Who have always told me its not possible to farm the way I work. Of course I have learned this is absolute rubbish because everyone can manage their own finances however they want to and if it means not having those new machines or having slightly less profit and actually spending more time with your family then so be it.
I have been shocked by my friends in the farming industry though, who say they have to work so much they have no choice, and the next minute there is a new tractor on the yard and they start all over again. This happens a lot in farming I think.

It does make a difference what your wife does of course, if she’s on the farm with you every day supporting your work then it does make more sense. My wife works full time herself away from the farm and we live away from the farm too so that makes a difference as well.

They're chasing success while we are realising it.

There's a huge chasm in between, see if I were to ask them what it is that they feel they need more of in order to be a success, there would be something or maybe quite a few things come up.
With people like you and me, more work to do probably would make us feel less like a success even though we're both very successful people.

It's a different paradigm. I'm pretty happy to go potter about for an hour or two then come home spend the day with the family, I feel we've all missed out a lot from when we were in the old paradigm of "making it", now we've made it out the other side I'm happy to work and happy to not work

 

[case44]

Have a look at the posts in “Today at Work”
and then look at “Today NOT at Work”.
I will be posting in one of them tomorrow.
Hopefully by September I will have sold all beef cattle,already signed up to SFI….

 

[Wooly]

I think the trouble is that when you are always busy farming...... or even farming 7 days a week, you actually don't make time for hobbies.

If you work 9-5, monday to friday, then you find a hobby to fill your time at weekends and bank holidays.

At least farming isn't boring and repetitive like most jobs.

 

[glasshouse]

Unfortunately , farming is like rugby, if you go at it half cock you will get nowhere or worse get hurt.
If you have a high earning wife thats fine but one day when u come back from holidays the farm might not be there.
There are those that go home early and just phone the dealer to fix stuff till the money runs out.

 

[Jasper]

I know of at least two people who were always to busy to go on holiday so the wife and kids went on there own after a few years one wife met another man and the other one never came back .Two good businesses ruined through work

 

[Bury the Trash]

After 28 years at it I've never known a false god like farming. It doesn't give enough back for my liking, no way are excess hours worth it.

It's also the protestant work ethic, what pains you is good for you etc. Work hours associated with self worth, it's all bollox.

The best thing I do in the summer is take a day off in the week and go on a bike ride or go out for lunch. Sod it

ha ha ive been doing it for 47 yrs

 

[Pennine Ploughing]

I know of at least two people who were always to busy to go on holiday so the wife and kids went on there own after a few years one wife met another man and the other one never came back .Two good businesses ruined through work

I know 1 that was to busy working all the time , that the only time he spent with the wife was when he went to eat, or sleep, worked all the hours he could to build his empire, was the hardest working guy for miles, even milking 3 times a day etc,
There was a family wedding to attend, on the day his wife had got all the clothes etc ready for him, he came into the house, said I have this and that to do, you just go on your own to wedding, she did, and left him to get on with whatever was so important that needed doing,











3 days later she left him, and took a good chunk of his empire on the way,