Getting your mojo back

[Macus3]

Does anyone else go through phases like this?

Big changes here in the autumn as we had our first child. Downside is that it happened right in the middle of peak calving season on a 1 man band. I don't want to be one of those dad's that's never at home cause they live with the cows but I took my eye off the ball, esp with dry cows routine and paying the price for it now. Cows not performing as they should, and not the same thrive in calves.

Always loved milking cows but really reallt struggling at the moment.Dreading getting out in the morning for one disaster after another. I know it's self caused. Took on help Mon to Fri to take the pressure off and hopefully enable me to spend more time in evening with wife and baby.

Any tips on how to get my mojo Back?

 

[betweenthelines]

I think you may be suffering with depression(as many farmers do)

See your GP and look at the thread on Agric matters

 

[Scholsey]

Does anyone else go through phases like this?

Big changes here in the autumn as we had our first child. Downside is that it happened right in the middle of peak calving season on a 1 man band. I don't want to be one of those dad's that's never at home cause they live with the cows but I took my eye off the ball, esp with dry cows routine and paying the price for it now. Cows not performing as they should, and not the same thrive in calves.

Always loved milking cows but really reallt struggling at the moment.Dreading getting out in the morning for one disaster after another. I know it's self caused. Took on help Mon to Fri to take the pressure off and hopefully enable me to spend more time in evening with wife and baby.

Any tips on how to get my mojo Back?

Set yourself small achievable targets and get a decent baby carrier so you can spend time with family and be on the farm at the same time.

 

[jimmer]

Your wife and baby will still be there at the end of the day , it doesn't take two to look after a new baby , you have two responsibilities and a good father needs to provide for as well as care for his family

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh , but don't neglect yourself

 

[bigw]

Your wife and baby will still be there at the end of the day , it doesn't take two to look after a new baby , you have two responsibilities and a good father needs to provide for as well as care for his family

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh , but don't neglect yourself

Sorry but that is a sh!t reply. His wife and baby need him as much or more than the cows. Having young family and working hard is a really difficult juggling act, try not beat yourself up too much about it and try and prioritise your time as best you can. Don't neglect yourself or your wife and baby, good luck.

 

[Charolais cattle]

Your wife and baby will still be there at the end of the day , it doesn't take two to look after a new baby , you have two responsibilities and a good father needs to provide for as well as care for his family

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh , but don't neglect yourself

wouldn't agree with tat wat so ever... mother goes threw a awful lot.. with birth of a child .. she needs support with the child.. as for she be there when u cum hm.. we living in different world now a days.. as for the cattle.. get ur help to luk after them for a day.. take ur gd wife and child out for lunch.. and be in no rush back.. when u head hm .. take quick luk around cattle and head to bed.. try get sum sleep.. it's always a big factor wit things going wrong.. and next day start fresh.. it help yr wife to... and you probably see things could be done different around the farm.... congratulations to you both on birth of a child...

 

[jimmer]

Sorry but that is a sh!t reply. His wife and baby need him as much or more than the cows. Having young family and working hard is a really difficult juggling act, try not beat yourself up too much about it and try and prioritise your time as best you can. Don't neglect yourself or your wife and baby, good luck.

Don't want to get into war of words sorry

 

[bigw]

Don't want to get into war of words sorry

That's no problem. I know from experience how badly wrong things can go.

 

[Cowski]

Do you have any family especially on your partner’s side who can help out at home a bit? First year with a new child is hard work so don’t beat yourself up.

As the days get longer and things start to grow you’ll hopefully feel better in yourself. Look at getting contractors lined up for any field work that you currently do yourself as this can be easier than employing staff and will let you enjoy the summer a bit more and get set up for next calving season.

 

[Chae1]

Set yourself small achievable targets and get a decent baby carrier so you can spend time with family and be on the farm at the same time.

Be careful with baby carrier, and young kids on farm. A few children around here had ecoli due to helping dad on farm.

 

[bigw]

Be careful with baby carrier, and young kids on farm. A few children around here had ecoli due to helping dad on farm.

My wife got ecoli a few years ago and landed in hospital for a good few days, not nice at all.

 

[Chae1]

My wife got ecoli a few years ago and landed in hospital for a good few days, not nice at all.

Its horrible, was a outbreak at a nursery not far from here. Came from a farm.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-north-east-orkney-shetland-19812306

 

[Bald Rick]

@Macus3 .... got your parents nearby or in laws? Dads usually like to help out even if we get in the way

 

[thewalrus]

Does anyone else go through phases like this?

Big changes here in the autumn as we had our first child. Downside is that it happened right in the middle of peak calving season on a 1 man band. I don't want to be one of those dad's that's never at home cause they live with the cows but I took my eye off the ball, esp with dry cows routine and paying the price for it now. Cows not performing as they should, and not the same thrive in calves.

Always loved milking cows but really reallt struggling at the moment.Dreading getting out in the morning for one disaster after another. I know it's self caused. Took on help Mon to Fri to take the pressure off and hopefully enable me to spend more time in evening with wife and baby.

Any tips on how to get my mojo Back?

Get time with your wife and child even a walk at the beach with the pram or baby carrier(during the day) My wee boy is 2. Think I walked every beach in north coast in his first year.
Farm wise be hard in your cows culling wise, keep work as simple as possible get contractors in to do the big jobs.

 

[A1an]

What you will find as your mojo fades is that small problems actually SEEM like big ones. You will also find that these issues have probably occurred in the past but they didn't seem an issue when you were feeling more 'up beat' so go un noticed.

It's only six months since you had you child, some people take time to adjust and find the routine that works in with other commitments. You will find that routine though.

Nearly everybody goes through phases like you are experiencing.

 

[Chae1]

Not a big help, but spring should get you going again.

Amazing what the sun does to your mood, seeing grass growing and turning animals out to grass.

I always feel better when days lengthen and see more of the sun.

 

[vantage]

You've done right getting some help in.
Nothing goes right all of the time,even on the apparently best run farms.
Spring is almost upon us and will raise everyone's spirits.
I used to be a one man band when the kids were small,it was hard at times but they're only small for the blink of an eye so do make use of your help.

 

[milkloss]

Be open, be honest, make a plan with your wife.......a clear and comprehensive one about what work load you want or feel you need to maintain in order to provide for your new family and get some ’winning’ under your belt for that mojo to return.

I’m sure you’ll get the mojo back, keep looking forwards and all that but don’t expect achieving goals to ever be as easy as they were for a while.

Three years on and my mojo is still not on the holding sadly. It’s not as easy for men as some would have you believe.

 

[Princess Pooper]

Good that you have got help in to take the pressure off work-wise. Definitely make some time to spend with wife and new baby, those days can never be lived again. Also make sure your wife has a chance to 'escape' with some friends or during the day for a couple of hours, it can be very isolating for her stuck with a new baby and she may feel her whole identity has become that of a mother not an individual in her own right. Equally important - you get a part day or evening out with some friends off the farm which will all help get your mojo back but do seek professional help if things are not working out. Better weather and longer daylight hours tend to help the spirits but hang on in there, plenty of folks can help in one way or another if you ask.

 

[it's not over]

Your wife and baby will still be there at the end of the day , it doesn't take two to look after a new baby , you have two responsibilities and a good father needs to provide for as well as care for his family

Sorry if I'm sounding harsh , but don't neglect yourself

Have to agree but then I'm old school.