Thoughts are not Facts
Unhelpful thinking patterns are all too common. This article will help you recognise the traps and challenge you to make positive changes. Remember, don't believe everything you think - thoughts are not facts, they are most often just assumptions or beliefs that you hold and not based in truth or reality at all. Especially if you are under stress, feeling anxious, low or depressed, thinking can become distorted and irrational. As negative thinking can become an obsession, cause unpleasant feelings, and lose you sleep, correcting it is important for improving both mental and physical health.
Catastrophising
Am I jumping to the worst possible conclusions?
Gain some perspective. Where’s the evidence to support your belief? What other possible outcomes might there be?
Black and White thinking
Am I thinking in extreme - all or nothing terms?
Look for shades of grey and find some middle ground.
Overgeneralising
Am I using words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ to draw generalised conclusions from a specific event?
Gain some perspective. Change your language to ‘sometimes’ and ‘occasionally’. Look at the evidence to establish the facts. When you say ‘always’ it may only have happened once.
Fortune Telling
Am I predicting the future instead of waiting to see what happens?
Learn some ‘here and now’ strategies to keep your mind in the present moment and stop it racing ahead of itself. These might include mindfulness, grounding, meditation. I can introduce you to these methods.
Mind Reading
Am I jumping to conclusions about what other people are thinking of me?
Challenge this thinking by asking yourself am I confusing an assumption with a fact? Talking with that individual might shed a different light on things.
Mental Filtering
Am I focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive?
Practice some daily reflection to get a balanced view. Write a positivity diary.
Disqualifying the Positive
Am I discounting positive information or twisting a positive into a negative?
Learning how to practice gratitude can help here. Write in a gratitude diary. Also, notice when you say “yeah but….” and try to stop this habit. Give yourself permission for positive things to happen in your life and accept them graciously.
Labelling
Am I globally putting myself down as a failure, worthless, or useless?
Notice the negative effect this has on you. Learn to be kind to yourself. Stop judging your entire self on sole incidents or imperfections which are just a normal trait of life and being human.
Personalising
Am I taking an event or someone’s behaviour too personally or blaming myself and overlooking other factors?
Notice how this thinking can lead to self-criticism, negativity, being defensive, or even angry; these will become blocks to you having healthy relationships. Get objective. Is it just you that is treated this way by this person? What state of mind were they in when they upset you? Can responsibility of the situation be shared? What state of mind were you in when you reacted this way? What can be taken into consideration about the circumstances?
Demanding
Am I using words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought’ and ‘have to’ in order to make rigid rules about myself, the world, or other people?
Take the pressure off yourself. Recognise that you have choices, and they are yours to make. Prioritise what matters to you. Put your needs ahead of the expectations you perceive others to have of you. Who says you ‘should’? You can if you want to, but you don’t necessarily have to. Give yourself some flexibility.
Having a Low Frustration Tolerance
Am I telling myself that something is too difficult or unbearable or that ‘I can’t stand it’ when actually it’s hard to bear but it is bearable and worth tolerating?
Be willing to just sit with yourself and your feelings. Notice that the intensity of the feeling will pass. You will survive and you can tell yourself next time that you can cope. Mindfulness and grounding are useful strategies for bringing feelings back into the window of tolerance and building acceptance of them without necessarily having to act on them, change them, or attempt to control them in some destructive way.
You can read this update from Countryside Counselling on TFF's AGVendor...
Catastrophising
Am I jumping to the worst possible conclusions?
Gain some perspective. Where’s the evidence to support your belief? What other possible outcomes might there be?
Black and White thinking
Am I thinking in extreme - all or nothing terms?
Look for shades of grey and find some middle ground.
Overgeneralising
Am I using words like ‘always’ and ‘never’ to draw generalised conclusions from a specific event?
Gain some perspective. Change your language to ‘sometimes’ and ‘occasionally’. Look at the evidence to establish the facts. When you say ‘always’ it may only have happened once.
Fortune Telling
Am I predicting the future instead of waiting to see what happens?
Learn some ‘here and now’ strategies to keep your mind in the present moment and stop it racing ahead of itself. These might include mindfulness, grounding, meditation. I can introduce you to these methods.
Mind Reading
Am I jumping to conclusions about what other people are thinking of me?
Challenge this thinking by asking yourself am I confusing an assumption with a fact? Talking with that individual might shed a different light on things.
Mental Filtering
Am I focusing on the negative and overlooking the positive?
Practice some daily reflection to get a balanced view. Write a positivity diary.
Disqualifying the Positive
Am I discounting positive information or twisting a positive into a negative?
Learning how to practice gratitude can help here. Write in a gratitude diary. Also, notice when you say “yeah but….” and try to stop this habit. Give yourself permission for positive things to happen in your life and accept them graciously.
Labelling
Am I globally putting myself down as a failure, worthless, or useless?
Notice the negative effect this has on you. Learn to be kind to yourself. Stop judging your entire self on sole incidents or imperfections which are just a normal trait of life and being human.
Personalising
Am I taking an event or someone’s behaviour too personally or blaming myself and overlooking other factors?
Notice how this thinking can lead to self-criticism, negativity, being defensive, or even angry; these will become blocks to you having healthy relationships. Get objective. Is it just you that is treated this way by this person? What state of mind were they in when they upset you? Can responsibility of the situation be shared? What state of mind were you in when you reacted this way? What can be taken into consideration about the circumstances?
Demanding
Am I using words like ‘should’, ‘must’, ‘ought’ and ‘have to’ in order to make rigid rules about myself, the world, or other people?
Take the pressure off yourself. Recognise that you have choices, and they are yours to make. Prioritise what matters to you. Put your needs ahead of the expectations you perceive others to have of you. Who says you ‘should’? You can if you want to, but you don’t necessarily have to. Give yourself some flexibility.
Having a Low Frustration Tolerance
Am I telling myself that something is too difficult or unbearable or that ‘I can’t stand it’ when actually it’s hard to bear but it is bearable and worth tolerating?
Be willing to just sit with yourself and your feelings. Notice that the intensity of the feeling will pass. You will survive and you can tell yourself next time that you can cope. Mindfulness and grounding are useful strategies for bringing feelings back into the window of tolerance and building acceptance of them without necessarily having to act on them, change them, or attempt to control them in some destructive way.
You can read this update from Countryside Counselling on TFF's AGVendor...
