Why are families such a pain in arse.

Ffermer Bach · Aug 3, 2023

PI Stsker said:
Out of interest, everyone saying about inheritance. If you’re one of three children all born equal why does one have more rights to more of the farm than any of the others?

An inheritance is not an inheritance until the person giving is dead and the inheritor has received their legacy, until that point "an inheritance" is actually someone's money to do as they wish with.

‘My 69-year-old dad has a much younger fiancée – should I be worried about my inheritance?’

Moral Money: our reader’s concerned about losing his late mother’s hard-earned money

www.telegraph.co.uk

I think if there is a farm involved, maybe the child who stays home farming should as well as wages be given a percentage of the business every year they work there so it is all quite open and above board. I suppose the problem could then be if that child gets divorced.

I remember going out on a date with a woman who told me her brother inherited the farm, and she was left nothing, but she was quite happy about it, as he wanted to farm and still did.

Ffermer Bach · Aug 3, 2023

Dragon said:
Don't be silly, just Swan vesta his car.....

Above all: there always to sides to the story.
however the person in question should have asked "have you finished with my pillar drill" this should have saved starting of this thread.

made me think of the Swansea rap

som farmer · Aug 3, 2023

Devil's advocate said:
Surely not letting your sister have her share is also money grabbing?

My Brother was well paid out & I'm really happy with that. I see others with shiny tractors paying high rents & expanding but have fallen out with their sisters. I think I'm much richer, in that my Brother & I are still close.

they will both have a very large sum of money, the whole pot wouldn't be enough for one of them greed and avarice is a powerful thing.

They could have had a good lump nearly 30 yrs ago, but the one thought she could have more, by refusing to agree to anything. Which is why l suggested a specialist solicitor !

So her greed, basically means that instead of having a lump sum, back then, when it would have been of real practical use, she might get it, just in time to pay for care home fees, ironic justice.

As for fairness, as much as l dislike it, fully accept that is correct. As this could end up in court, the very last thing l want. I have made sure, any judge, looking at my offer, based on valuations supplied by them, could only say, l have been very fair, based on equal shares.

The only 'gain' l get, is when the the original documents were drawn up, as in a tenancy, they were stupid enough to agree, all tenants improvements, have to be refunded, to me, at a value based on todays costs. Again where a specialist solicitor pays handsomely. As those improvements include a big bungalow .............

And that is all based on assuming the paperwork is correct, which it isn't, and l could make things very complicated, to my advantage, could claim a life tenancy even. But l would prefer to get a settlement now, and have done with the whole job. Their choice.

workin f nowt · Aug 3, 2023

Ffermer Bach said:
An inheritance is not an inheritance until the person giving is dead and the inheritor has received their legacy, until that point "an inheritance" is actually someone's money to do as they wish with.

I've told a particular person this on many an occasion. Fancy I'm as the good lord intended your born with nowt and go with nowt. Easier in the long run nowt to fight over

som farmer · Aug 3, 2023

workin f nowt said:
I've told a particular person this on many an occasion. Fancy I'm as the good lord intended your born with nowt and go with nowt. Easier in the long run nowt to fight over

ideal
but, unfortunately, farms, and our live/deadstock, all add up to rather large values.

And where there's money involved, greed and avarice creep in.

Rich_ard · Aug 3, 2023

Ffermer Bach said:
An inheritance is not an inheritance until the person giving is dead and the inheritor has received their legacy, until that point "an inheritance" is actually someone's money to do as they wish with.

‘My 69-year-old dad has a much younger fiancée – should I be worried about my inheritance?’

Moral Money: our reader’s concerned about losing his late mother’s hard-earned money

www.telegraph.co.uk

I think if there is a farm involved, maybe the child who stays home farming should as well as wages be given a percentage of the business every year they work there so it is all quite open and above board. I suppose the problem could then be if that child gets divorced.

I remember going out on a date with a woman who told me her brother inherited the farm, and she was left nothing, but she was quite happy about it, as he wanted to farm and still did.

Wrong attitude for alot on here the one who stays at home and shows a interest (lack of interest in doing anything else) gets the lot! Fuk em

Bossfarmer · Aug 3, 2023

ill never understand the idea of being given a huge pile of cash for doing nothing, when i was a kid i was told if i wanted to come home and farm id get the farm, if i didnt id get nothing but wouldnt need to work before/after school each day/weekends/school holidays etc etc, i chose to do the work

if id been told id still get a huge sum of money regardless id have put my feet up and been a lazy c££t

som farmer · Aug 3, 2023

Rich_ard said:
Wrong attitude for alot on here the one who stays at home and shows a interest (lack of interest in doing anything else) gets the lot! Fuk em

have you put that in writing, in your will ?

for many, including myself, that's what we were led to believe, but not what happened in the end.

Wills are funny things, unless you clearly state the reasons for your wishes, they can be challenged, quite successfully, and what you want, doesn't apply.

The most 'concrete' way to ensure your estate is dispersed, as you want it to be, is to include a hand written letter, stating the why's and wherefores, of how you want it.

Oliveau · Aug 3, 2023

Many years ago I had customers where quitea large farm was run by 2 brothers and the son of one of the brothers. Unfotunately though, due to historical legacies, there were so many dependants that it was hard for the working partners to actually make much money for themselves.

Rich_ard · Aug 3, 2023

Bossfarmer said:
ill never understand the idea of being given a huge pile of cash for doing nothing, when i was a kid i was told if i wanted to come home and farm id get the farm, if i didnt id get nothing but wouldnt need to work before/after school each day/weekends/school holidays etc etc, i chose to do the work

if id been told id still get a huge sum of money regardless id have put my feet up and been a lazy c££t

It's called inheritance. It's quite common when someone dies. The wealthier the deceased the greater the pile of cash. All you need to do is not die before them or get written out the will

Rich_ard · Aug 3, 2023

som farmer said:
have you put that in writing, in your will ?

for many, including myself, that's what we were led to believe, but not what happened in the end.

Wills are funny things, unless you clearly state the reasons for your wishes, they can be challenged, quite successfully, and what you want, doesn't apply.

The most 'concrete' way to ensure your estate is dispersed, as you want it to be, is to include a hand written letter, stating the why's and wherefores, of how you want it.

I'm not planing dieing!

Nearly · Aug 3, 2023

Rich_ard said:
I'm not planning dieing!

Not many are.
But they do.

Bossfarmer · Aug 3, 2023

Rich_ard said:
It's called inheritance. It's quite common when someone dies. The wealthier the deceased the greater the pile of cash. All you need to do is not die before them or get written out the will

its up to the person with the money what they do with it, noone is automatically entitled

Rich_ard · Aug 3, 2023

Nearly said:
Not many are.
But they do.

Oh well. If I keep making money at the current rate it still won't amount to much.

Landrover · Aug 3, 2023

As I've said before all wills can be challenged no matter how watertight you think they are, when someone says to you that whatever happens I'm going to make sure you have nothing it makes you realise whatever is contained in a will is just words

Nearly · Aug 3, 2023

I hear solicitors rubbing their hands.

Rich_ard · Aug 3, 2023

Nearly said:
I hear solicitors rubbing their hands.

So is the guy with the piller drill. Stood in a cold shed boring steel

Netherfield · Aug 3, 2023

Nearly said:
I've a pillar drill you can have.
You can keep your sister.

Are sure you're a Yorkshireman, giving stuff away.

Wurzeetoo · Aug 3, 2023

Admittedly it’s not going to be a large estate left, But this is exactly the reason I have refused to be given any money or property in my parents will. My sisters have already started jostling many years ago, and I want no part in it. My eldest sister got married to another no hoper last week but I had been uninvited as I didn’t respond to the WhatsApp wedding invite straight away

I have agreed to be the one who deals with the selling and dividing of Assets as they know it would be all out war should my sisters deal with it themselves. I have made a caveat that should they be disruptive or cause undue stress on my wife, then I will sell the lot without any discussion with them, and send each of Their solicitors exactly 50% off all profits.

A sniff of money often turns the most reasonable into savages.

ollie989898 · Aug 3, 2023

Rich_ard said:
So is the guy with the piller drill. Stood in a cold shed boring steel

Speaking of cold steel...

Why are families such a pain in arse.

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Up to 25%

25-50%

50-75%

75-100%

100% I’ve had enough of farming!

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