Jam Tomorrow
Member
- Location
- Hardy Country
Better than the dog shite bags over here
things that make you smile
- Thread starter rob1
- Start date
- Location
- Near Beeston Castle
True
7 year old son asking 'what's for dinner today?'
'Roast lamb'
'Yessss. My favourite '
Good lad
!!
'Roast lamb'
'Yessss. My favourite '
Good lad
!!
Cab-over Pete
Member
- Location
- Kenilworth, Warwickshire
Made me chuckle…..
We’ve driven up north today for a few days in County Durham.
A comfort break at Durham Services was required…. I walk into the gents toilets….a bloke followed me in. Massive bloke with a beard and filthy hi-vis coat.
In his broadest and loud Durham accent he says :
“Alreet mate, f**k, I’m fair busting for a pi$$!”
But it’s not to me, he’s on the phone. He’s saying to his mate about how they’re going to pull a shed down soon. He roars down the phone “Hang on mate, I’ll ask him”
He twiddles his thumbs on his phone, obviously switching to another line…
“He says Thursday……..,alreet, ‘ang on”
He twiddles again…
“He says f**k that!!…….okay, ‘ang on”
more twiddling…..
“Friday then?……. Okay, ‘ang on mate”…….
More twiddling……
“Fookin Friday then?……….okay…….okay…….okay.
…….crackin!”
More twiddling ……
“Friday then……‘bout fookin’ time!!”
And all this with one hand whilst the other was busy draining the vein!
As I was washing my hands he walked out and says to me,
“Fookin’ skins don’t want any work these days…..waste of Fookin’ time!!!”
We’ve driven up north today for a few days in County Durham.
A comfort break at Durham Services was required…. I walk into the gents toilets….a bloke followed me in. Massive bloke with a beard and filthy hi-vis coat.
In his broadest and loud Durham accent he says :
“Alreet mate, f**k, I’m fair busting for a pi$$!”
But it’s not to me, he’s on the phone. He’s saying to his mate about how they’re going to pull a shed down soon. He roars down the phone “Hang on mate, I’ll ask him”
He twiddles his thumbs on his phone, obviously switching to another line…
“He says Thursday……..,alreet, ‘ang on”
He twiddles again…
“He says f**k that!!…….okay, ‘ang on”
more twiddling…..
“Friday then?……. Okay, ‘ang on mate”…….
More twiddling……
“Fookin Friday then?……….okay…….okay…….okay.
…….crackin!”
More twiddling ……
“Friday then……‘bout fookin’ time!!”
And all this with one hand whilst the other was busy draining the vein!
As I was washing my hands he walked out and says to me,
“Fookin’ skins don’t want any work these days…..waste of Fookin’ time!!!”
Nearly
Member
- Location
- North of York
Gerbert
Member
- Location
- Dutch biblebelt
Just made an invoice for my contractor who I work for every now and then when they are short on people. Chucked it on a pile, the invoice under it was for feed and pretty much the same number but incoming rather then outgoing. 
- Location
- Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk
- Location
- Devon
- Location
- Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk
- Location
- Bury St Edmunds, Suffolk
I think the correspondent is a bit off mark
- Location
- leics/warks border
Space X's description of its rocket exploding. It suffered a "rapid unscheduled deconstruction",
Did you read about the 31 yr old driver of a Jaguar i-Pace who called the police saying that his brakes weren't working & that he was reaching speeds in excess of 100mph on the M62? Three police forces managed to bring the vehicle to a stop as it ran out of battery using the Denver stop method?
Well, turns out he's been arrested for dangerous driving & causing a nuisance to the public
www.aol.co.uk
Well, turns out he's been arrested for dangerous driving & causing a nuisance to the public
Man driving ‘runaway’ electric Jaguar arrested a week later
Police have arrested a man on suspicion of dangerous driving and causing a public nuisance after a “runaway” electric Jaguar had to be brought to a halt by eight police cars.
www.aol.co.uk
Aspiring Peasants
Member
- Location
- North Pennines
- Location
- LINCOLNSHIRE/KENYA
House moving on.
- Location
- North Norfolk
You will move in quicker than we can get all the paperwork sorted out for a pre-app!
- Location
- Near Colchester
But you wouldn't have to build an antelope room and so aren't special.
Paddington
Member
- Location
- Soggy Shropshire
Probably charge him with using a phone at the wheel as well.Did you read about the 31 yr old driver of a Jaguar i-Pace who called the police saying that his brakes weren't working & that he was reaching speeds in excess of 100mph on the M62? Three police forces managed to bring the vehicle to a stop as it ran out of battery using the Denver stop method?
Well, turns out he's been arrested for dangerous driving & causing a nuisance to the public
Man driving ‘runaway’ electric Jaguar arrested a week later
Police have arrested a man on suspicion of dangerous driving and causing a public nuisance after a “runaway” electric Jaguar had to be brought to a halt by eight police cars.
And who said Men cannot multi-task.....?Made me chuckle…..
We’ve driven up north today for a few days in County Durham.
A comfort break at Durham Services was required…. I walk into the gents toilets….a bloke followed me in. Massive bloke with a beard and filthy hi-vis coat.
In his broadest and loud Durham accent he says :
“Alreet mate, f**k, I’m fair busting for a pi$$!”
But it’s not to me, he’s on the phone. He’s saying to his mate about how they’re going to pull a shed down soon. He roars down the phone “Hang on mate, I’ll ask him”
He twiddles his thumbs on his phone, obviously switching to another line…
“He says Thursday……..,alreet, ‘ang on”
He twiddles again…
“He says f**k that!!…….okay, ‘ang on”
more twiddling…..
“Friday then?……. Okay, ‘ang on mate”…….
More twiddling……
“Fookin Friday then?……….okay…….okay…….okay.
…….crackin!”
More twiddling ……
“Friday then……‘bout fookin’ time!!”
And all this with one hand whilst the other was busy draining the vein!
As I was washing my hands he walked out and says to me,
“Fookin’ skins don’t want any work these days…..waste of Fookin’ time!!!”
- Location
- LINCOLNSHIRE/KENYA
Oh no there’s been a lot of paperwork. Generally you can build want you want where you want but to do it legally takes time.