diary of a comedy sheep farm

the weekend

went to mart sat......was busy with a lot of small store lambs in ...i queried with cheerful mart chap if they had any chance of finishing before 'teeth up'......he shrugged 'they're selling like hot cakes'....rest of day twas essential services and 'collapsed heap'

sunday.....mrs spin had busy day...two barn changeovers and over to help boy et al.....got home 1:30 in the morning.......forklift played up starting but i patched her up

monday....bit grumpy .....mud about place annoying me so had a morning on tonka clearing up a bit.....knocked off early so i could pop in and see boy and fergus on way to mechanic....popped into morrisons for bouquet for 'new mum'.....unaware that monday lunchtimes must be 'grab a grandad in naam' .......on the way out clutching the flowers i was accosted by two of 'naam's (not unattractive) finest',,,,,'ooh they for me' cheeky girl one....'ah you're cute' cheeky girl two,,,,,,bit of banter then twas 'bye darlin' and on their way...of course i loathed this encounter.....the new mum liked the flowers....fergus promptly posseted on me

RIGHT.....mechanic has sent me this....thought i'd share and tag 'trashy'.....we can all have right good meditate together











is that 'to much thigh' for a monday


edited for 'excess thigh'

tuesday

had a good productive day but...by days end ....i felt i was still more tired than i thought should be .....also had a bout of 'double booking' myself and couple of 'DOH' moments

lighter mornings i'm feeling a little more energised and today was time to get some tidying up/drainage jobs done on the meadow next the drive where strawbs has her parking....it has our main farm drain and a pond and flooded badly last month on occasion......so much so i took tonka out one sunday morning and cut some flood relief channels.....with it being drier twas time to put it right

trench one was a small new drain approx 30m long next to the car park...i'd intended to do it when i built the hard standing but thought 'meh' at the time.....didn't take long to trench...pipe and stone.....so much so it got me wondering about 'days of yore'....in particular the drains we put in when we put our grain store up in 1998....old back actor mconnell.....ford 3000 loader to put stone on trailer then back up to trench and shovel off....i remember putting straw in the trench over the pipe lest it collapse before we put stone in....why.....i mean why not put stone in straight away.....i guess dad was in charge so thats what we did.......twas a lot longer admittedly but i seemed to be on that job for days.......by 9am tonka had new trench dug....pipe in and teleporter tipping stone into cover

some sheepy duties next....K and admiral had fed round and disappeared off feeding wild birds (ab12).......admiral particularly fond of this activity

back on tonka twas fill in trench and make good a couple of other 'emergency grups' i'd cut.......11am truck arrives with 225mm twinwall ...one of...for second new trench i'd dug twixt ditch 'A' that can use the pond as relief....the pond then drains other side into ditch 'B' further over if that gets overfull.....'DOH moment 1'.....didn't measure distance ....just thought ...'ah 20ft will be reet'.......short by about 12ft .....got as far as i could....nearly lunch.....rollie and rethink

SO...i've to go to charlie's thursday (should be dry) for the last of the peas......dereham mole valley on way for mineral licks (my lot eat them like smarties)......there's a ' mr plastic' depot ...not sure they stock twinwall.....but if they do i can buy/cut another length....phone....they do ...so buy +pay.......sit back and think 'bitta cock up james but as usual you've wriggled out....hang on...thursday.....thursday.....oh feck'........'DOH moment two'.....i'd arranged for heating engineer to call....new holiday let heating is working but has persistent message 'heat unit requires maintenance'

lunch...tidy up trenches and small bonfire to finish day.......but wandering past the cs that nev and i did transmission oil change on other saturday and i notice the sight gauge is full......twasn't showing anything when we refilled /tested /stood.....i'd just bought more oil to top up....now it's overfull....sent PSM into overdrive

afternoon chores done.....home.....gerry's for last 'lent group' meeting ( over my head a lot of it tbh....i'm just a talking monkey to them....but gerry appreciates my effort )......final task....fess up to charlie about my 'double booking'.....he's very understanding and friday actually suits him better.....he says 'fergus is a bonny baby'......i reply that he's obviously gonna be a 'chick magnet' like his grandad.....something he finds amusing

AftonShepherd said:

"She" even has ladies' nails - don't look like they do much work lol

Click to expand...

i do have 'feminine' hands .....and a few 'girly mannerisms' in truth.....i'm SOooo 'in touch'

anyhoo.....wasn't well wednesday,,bit better thursday/friday but still not 100%...,,don't know whats wrong with me these days

wednesday was the start of our 'feck up fortnight' and didn't disappoint......hogg slipped a lamb.....clean so hopefully just one o those things.......followed on thursday by a ewe and a hogg exhibiting early twin lamb symptoms....penned them up and seems a false alarm....just hustle/bustle of 'pen life'

odd jobs all day thusrday......bitta tidy up to raise my spirits and horse fencing hms sheep cycle as it has to do a stint for a loan pony over easter for cinders

friday was planned as 'big day'.....after chores twas off to charlie's for peas via dereham mole and 'mr plastic' for twinwall pipe.......hummed/harred about which trailer to take,,,,,,opted to take the flat in the end on account of the twinwall

so off i go just after 10am....bit of trepidation cos of the brake trouble other week but trailer seems to be towing great .....bloomin diversion cos of road closure added 6 miles....fekkin roads closed everywhere these days......anyhoo got to ind estate that has mr plastic and mole.....the former was first stop....got outta van.. sniffed air....'ah' i laughed to myself ' i love the smell of dereham in the morning' as a faint taint of burning tickled my nostrils......cept it got stronger as i walked back towards the trailer.......gently went round the wheels....you guessed it......one wheel hot from brakes sticking ......by this time the shop lads were out...they didn't notice....i cut the 6m twinwall in two and onto trailer....'re group at mole' thinks i

at mole my favoured capacious parking spot was free.....parked up...jack trailer up....wheel off....think.....in the end i had to message charlie that i would have to 'abort mission'......spent £400 in mole..... mineral licks , ewe nuts (on offer £9-60), bag a lamlac....lambing sundries and a bottle of mvf 'ewe tonic'....paid £18 for it ...i should know better cos it'll be 'snake oil' but giving a sick ewe summat salves the soul a bit....besides if it all gets to much i suppose i could have a coupla swigs.....whilst lass was gathering my purchases i ministered the full 'spin emergency service' to the wheel.......it had cooled down.....and to my amazement i got it running free.....'was i to hasty jibbing out?'......out come my little 'alter egos.....arable farmer 'cut for home you might just make it'.....stock farmer..' you fekkin MELT...get on to attelborough'.....it must be my lerg cos ,for once, i listened to the 'arable' and headed for home.....just as well cos brake must've seized on slightly again as wheel still hotter than she should be when i arrived home

relieved i unloaded ewe rolls....took trailer off.......cuppa/rollie....check emails 'WTF'.....my previous previous leccy supplier finally caught up and sent me a bill.....not for the few hundred owed but for TWO GRAND......panic i rush home....if i havn't cancelled the dd they might've taken it...online bank....just checking.....( knocking at door stage left) ...'hey le doodly do neighborino' (neddy)......'NOT NOW'.....neddy retreats...mrs spin arrives home just as i ascertain i had indeed cancelled the dd....but not read the email fully as mrs spin had (having just skipped to the invoice) .....she points out that despite what the invoice says the amount owing is £490 and they're gonna write half of it off for making a 'balls up'....i eye the 'ewe tonic' and ponder ......later neddy sends over the most fabulous eccles cake as apology

weekend

had a nice weekend .....did 'work' which is agin the 'mechanic's advice but ,as i explained to her today, at my 'level' it's more like large scale gardening ......sat i cultivated the fallow ab11 and sunday mowed down the ab9 (bird cover) and sunflower remains

sat night was the village safari supper.....you all traipse round having drinks/eats at various houses.....behaved mischeviously ,,,,,,one interesting thing.....twas discussing the seemingly high number of sugar beet heaps about.....suddenly mrs neddy relaxed back....smiled and said 'ahhh...thats what we came to norfolk for'....i stopped... questioning her...'no please carry on 'she beamed 'all dinner parties in hertford talk about is parking and gadgets on luxery cars'

palm sunday in church but i was mowing.....high praise from village matriach via mrs spin...'thank goodness your husband came last night...it would 've been bit dull if not'......boy /brood/fergus came over for lunch sunday and had a thoroughly nice time

all in all got lots done and had ego 'massaged'

'hit ground running this morning'......filled in potholes in lane.....bit more tidying up on front meadow (finished).....retrieved pasture topper from barn on grazing marsh

errands and mechanic in afternoon....got cross about sfi capping announcement......then found this in lambing shed.....day 139





:....looks like we're 'off'....was hoping they'd hold off til next week cos....as usual....i;m fekkin knackered

do you mean "is that ewe on the passenger seat"

no...home for a warm...two colostrums and now back to mum wearing this 'natty little number "