9 things a farmer hates to hear

[sheep&cows&stuff]

Cant believe someone hasn't said this already...

'No she isn't in calf'
'No she isn't in lamb'

 

[Foregoneconclusion]

I imagine these would not be received with great joy..

Hi Dad , Is it ok to bring my boyfriend over at the weekend? Did i tell you he is a vegan?

At 5 am " hi, milk pump has seized"

At 7.30 as full artic tanker leaves the yard..." Oh i forgot to mention that the cow on antibiotics has lost her red tapes, i only noticed as she was leaving the parlour.."


" entire dairy herd is rampaging through the village. " ( that one did happen..on my weekend off ..in the early hours..)

 

[snarling bee]

My son is on his 2nd vegan girlfriend in a row. Didn't meet the first one and 2nd one we await the pleasure. Should be interesting Sunday roast and farm tour.

 

[ARW]

If we are fencing for a farmer and they supply materials, I say we need 40 strainer posts for the job, they normally reply “40! You won’t need that many, I will get 20 to start with” after the first day I will have them all knocked in and ask for that extra 20 we needed “bloody hell what do you need all them for”

 

[Derrick Hughes]

It's got a few docks in it

 

[Foregoneconclusion]

My son is on his 2nd vegan girlfriend in a row. Didn't meet the first one and 2nd one we await the pleasure. Should be interesting Sunday roast and farm tour.

..

Now behave!

 

[Goweresque]

You definitely had your phone when you started baling/combining/ploughing, I rang you, remember?

 

[v8willy]

Can see the back wall of the silo....& it's the 2nd week of february.

 

[Hfd Cattle]

I wish I'd tied that gate

 

[sheep&cows&stuff]

My son is on his 2nd vegan girlfriend in a row. Didn't meet the first one and 2nd one we await the pleasure. Should be interesting Sunday roast and farm tour.

You missed an incredibly smart pun...'Didn't MEAT the first one'

 

[roscoe erf]

You missed an incredibly smart pun...'Didn't MEAT the first one'

 

[sheep&cows&stuff]

haha - I thought it was a good one! Me and my sense of humour...