Chemical names

[Oat]

I was having a conversation the other day with someone about names for different chemicals. I was telling them about some of the more humorous ones such as-
Uranus- was only funny when contractors were told to spray it on the wheat variety Dick- "Put Uranus on my Dick"
Crawler- on its own, it isn't funny, but when you consider it is used in a similar way as Kerb...
Aducksbackside- it was was a generic version of Titus, therefore when listing the two together...

Therefore, as a bit of fun, what names would the great TFF collective propose as future chemical names, or alternatively, does anyone else know any humorous past/current ones?

 

[Gong Farmer]

Makhteshim, or whatever they were called before that, always had a sense of humour when naming their products. The Crawler thing was a genuine joke.

 

[Brisel]

Foxtrot and Oskar. Same chemical, same company (Headland). Phonetic acronym for "go away"

 

[david]

I thought the tag line for the product mentioned above was

'Pick Uranus and start off with a clean sheet'

 

[Brisel]

Just needs a sticker adjuvant called Klingon

 

[david]

Or a penetrant call 'Dildo' ?

 

[Gong Farmer]

Someone really ought to have the nerve to bring out a micronutrient cocktail called 'Snake oil'

 

[Luke Cropwalker]

Who remembers IPU being advertised with the Wicked Willy character? Most blackgrass herbicides should be called Sweet F.A.

 

[cricketandcrops]

Makhteshim, or whatever they were called before that, always had a sense of humour when naming their products. The Crawler thing was a genuine joke.

Indeed having found the old stickers in the marketing cupboard it read "Don't be a Kerb.......Crawler"

 

[fudge]

Faith, Hope and Charity

 

[franklin]

Makhteshim, or whatever they were called before that, always had a sense of humour when naming their products. The Crawler thing was a genuine joke.

Deacon tebuconazole. Comes with a nice blue label.

 

[Guy Smith]

Reminds me of the story how Procter & Gamble couldn't work out why Dreft washing powder wouldnt sell in Denmark until someone pointed out Dreft meant 'menstrual discharge' in Danish.

Sorry to lower the TFF tone first thing in the morning.

 

[Hampton]

I think the amusing names at Makhtesheim stopped after Rob Williams got a rollicking from his senior paymasters.

 

[Guy Smith]

I'm kind of glad they've moved away from the macho brand names for agrochem nowadays.

Not that it's ever happened to me but I've always thought if one day there was a knock on the door and there was Mr and Mrs Worriedwell newly moved in to a field near the farm who say ' Our daughter has a terrible headache and we looked it up on the Internet and it said it could be a reaction to pesticides and we did notice you spraying that field near us last week and it did smell a bit funny so we were wondering what was the stuff you were spraying?'

Then it would be much better to say ' I was spraying a tank mix of Mistymorn and Puppylove' rather than saying I was spraying 'Cyperkill and Dagger'.

I've also thought it would be good if they could put nicer smelling additives into sprays , all too often when we've been spraying I'm reminded of my favourite line in 'Apocalypse Now' - ' gad, I jus luv the smell of Nepalm in the morning'.

 

[Brisel]

Reminds me of the story how Procter & Gamble couldn't work out why Dreft washing powder wouldnt sell in Denmark until someone pointed out Dreft meant 'menstrual discharge' in Danish.

Sorry to lower the TFF tone first thing in the morning.

General Motors couldn't work out why the Opel (Vauxhall) Nova didn't sell well in France, Italy or Spain. "No va" literally means "doesn't go!"

5 Ps - Prior planning prevents pee poor performance

 

[Norm]

Sales of Toyota's MR2 were somewhat limited by the French spelling and the French word for crap

 

[Brisel]

Merde