Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Lili]

Hope your wife gets better soon. Best wishes and thank you as always for your posts

 

[BobGreen]

Going off line for a wee while.

As we returned from Golders Green on Saturday the wife came down with the sniffles and by Sunday she was struggling with a full blown infection. Doctor came on Monday and confirmed a major chest infection and prescribed antibiotics and steroids but suggested that hospitalization may be the best option. We eventually opted for home treatment and the doc is calling again, later today.

Never seen the wife sweat so much; I have had to change the bed linen three times.

Waiting on the doc now but am not sure which way things will go.

Catch you all some time later.

Chris

Take good care of her. Don't worry about us lot we will be here to read your wise words when your good lady is better

 

[Storeman]

Try smelly vision!

A senior aviation security training office once told us of a crash investigator that he had spoken with him concerning a major incident. Surrounded by plane wreckage, corpses, body parts, and items of children's clothing; he picked up a ladies expensive fur and found the perfume that was on it to be as fresh as the moment that the lady had sprayed her self, ready for the day's flight. From that moment on, whenever he would get a whiff of the same perfume he would be transported back to the time he spent in the wreckage that day.

Perfumes and odors are sometimes used to open up long lost memories and also to invoke good feelings. The smell of fresh cut hay may bring to you thoughts and memories of open fields, tractors, and wildlife. For me it brings back the memory of the deadly gas "phosgene"..

Is there an odor that would bring back thoughts of comfort, security, and safety for you? If you can't access the actual odor, think hard upon it until you can almost smell it and then gently squeeze your right ear lobe. Then, whenever you feel the need for that comfort and security, just gently squeeze that right ear lobe and see what happens.

No guarantees, but it must be worth a try.

If it be the odor of your first dog/horse, stick with that moment of sheer joy and excitement of being totally accepted by an other creature and don't slip past that moment or you may move to the day that you lost your pal, Stick with the moment and gently squeeze!

If you do try it and it works for you; do let us know. Oh, and do let us know if it don't work for you. If, whilst trying this, you find troublesome thoughts arise, please do share them with someone.

Not sure how this will be received but if you think it "stinks", do tell me!

Chris

Smells have always been very evocative for me.
The smell of freshly turned soil takes me back over twenty years to when I was directly involved in agriculture and ploughing or cultivating. When there are combines running locally, I can smell that 'harvest' smell in the air and it takes me right back.

Perfumes remind me of past girlfriends. Sometimes that isn't always a good thing.

I used to love the smell of the coal tar soap at school, now, I really hated school, but I have been using coal tar soap for around twenty years, I guess it's comforting on some level.

All the best to you and your wife, I hope she is better very soon.

 

[milkloss]

Going off line for a wee while.

As we returned from Golders Green on Saturday the wife came down with the sniffles and by Sunday she was struggling with a full blown infection. Doctor came on Monday and confirmed a major chest infection and prescribed antibiotics and steroids but suggested that hospitalization may be the best option. We eventually opted for home treatment and the doc is calling again, later today.

Never seen the wife sweat so much; I have had to change the bed linen three times.

Waiting on the doc now but am not sure which way things will go.

Catch you all some time later.

Chris

Bit of a lurker in this thread here!

Best of luck to you both. Don't be shy of the hospital if that's what's needed

 

[Alicecow]

Take good care of yourselves @Christoph1945 and
Hope your wife is better soon.

 

[multi power]

What is the difference between stress, depression and anxiety?
At the moment I'm feeling very stressed, it's really getting to me, can't sleep properly, appatite is crap
I think I'm just stressed, how can I stop it getting to the depression stage ?

 

[Lili]

Can you take a break at all? Even a day out, change of scene gives a different perspective on things at home.
Have you a small project you can start? Getting involved in something takes your mind away from what's bothering you for a bit.
Writing down reasons for your stress and and possible ways of coping with the reasons might straighten things out in your head.
Don't be afraid to ask for help.
Keep posting. Best wishes

 

[llamedos]

What is the difference between stress, depression and anxiety?
At the moment I'm feeling very stressed, it's really getting to me, can't sleep properly, appatite is crap
I think I'm just stressed, how can I stop it getting to the depression stage ?

Talk, it is not always possible to change a stressful situation sometimes we have to realise there is nothing we can do about it, but teaching yourself how to deal with it is the stress buster.

 

[spin cycle]

What is the difference between stress, depression and anxiety?
At the moment I'm feeling very stressed, it's really getting to me, can't sleep properly, appatite is crap
I think I'm just stressed, how can I stop it getting to the depression stage ?

could be depression making you feel stressed...ie things you once took in your stride now stress you out.....do you feel there is a single issue at the bottom of your stress?
not sleeping properly will affect you....but worrying about sleeping will make it worse...so if you're awake at night tell yourself that your body is resting and think nice thoughts....i've slept a lot better since i've stopped worrying about it

if no better in a month i'd advise a visit to a gp.....i went in 2008 for some sleeping pills....but was diagnosed with depression ....i laughed at him....but he was right

 

[Storeman]

What is the difference between stress, depression and anxiety?
At the moment I'm feeling very stressed, it's really getting to me, can't sleep properly, appatite is crap
I think I'm just stressed, how can I stop it getting to the depression stage ?

As @Lili said, try and take some time out. Even just 15 minutes here and there. Lean on a gate, lean against a tree and look around, watch the stock in the fields, watch the wildlife.
Being close to the coast here, I used to go and sit by the sea for a while, just watch the waves. Not done that for many a year.
Something else I do, which I shall try and make time for later today, is to get up onto the North Downs, somewhere quiet, and look at the scene below. All those people down there, in the distance, all getting on with their day. And I'm just standing above them all, admiring the view.
Helps to switch off, even if it's just for a few minutes here and there.

 

[Christoph1945]

I think we have finally made it through one of our worst weeks ever.

By Thursday I also had come down with the dreaded full blown infection and we watched my temperature rising by the hour 36.5, 37.0, 38.4, and 39.2. The wife was already taking antibiotics and I wasn't to get any until late Thursday afternoon. It all felt like we were slipping into the hands of the grim reaper. Neither of us can remember a time when we both felt so bad!

By Friday the GP was out to the wife for a third time and prescribed more antibiotics and steroids to be taken on top of the original supply. Today is something of an improvement and both of our temperatures have stabilized and we are moving about a little like broken zombies. Every move requires effort and leaves us exhausted.

Somehow managed to keep our sense of humor though. After I had changed her bed linen three time, she said she needed a shower but settled for a bed-bath. Whilst I was carefully positioning the sheets, she said what are you doing? Trying to preserve your modesty! Sod my modesty, just get on with it. I said......you do realize that fifty years ago, this could have been really interesting!

This morning whilst heading to the stairs juggling a steaming cup of tea and several bottle of water to keep up her liquid intake., she shouted down..........use my stair lift, I'll operate the controls up here..........."just sit on it!" I shouted back, who do you think you are "The Fonz", and we both laughed. Still a long way to full recovery and it looks like being a slow progress.

Thanks for all the good wishes.

I hope that all you folks are making good progress and perhaps making use of the many facilities available.

Chris

 

[Lili]

Good to hear you are both on the mend and you managed to keep laughing.

 

[Alicecow]

I think we have finally made it through one of our worst weeks ever.

By Thursday I also had come down with the dreaded full blown infection and we watched my temperature rising by the hour 36.5, 37.0, 38.4, and 39.2. The wife was already taking antibiotics and I wasn't to get any until late Thursday afternoon. It all felt like we were slipping into the hands of the grim reaper. Neither of us can remember a time when we both felt so bad!

By Friday the GP was out to the wife for a third time and prescribed more antibiotics and steroids to be taken on top of the original supply. Today is something of an improvement and both of our temperatures have stabilized and we are moving about a little like broken zombies. Every move requires effort and leaves us exhausted.

Somehow managed to keep our sense of humor though. After I had changed her bed linen three time, she said she needed a shower but settled for a bed-bath. Whilst I was carefully positioning the sheets, she said what are you doing? Trying to preserve your modesty! Sod my modesty, just get on with it. I said......you do realize that fifty years ago, this could have been really interesting!

This morning whilst heading to the stairs juggling a steaming cup of tea and several bottle of water to keep up her liquid intake., she shouted down..........use my stair lift, I'll operate the controls up here..........."just sit on it!" I shouted back, who do you think you are "The Fonz", and we both laughed. Still a long way to full recovery and it looks like being a slow progress.

Thanks for all the good wishes.

I hope that all you folks are making good progress and perhaps making use of the many facilities available.

Chris

Hope you are both better very soon.
Keep smiling

 

[lazy farmer]

just wanted to mention that i'm sure I ve been suffering from SAD over the last few days no sun here since the weekend and boy does it affect my state of mind.

 

[Storeman]

just wanted to mention that i'm sure I ve been suffering from SAD over the last few days no sun here since the weekend and boy does it affect my state of mind.

I can relate to that.
I put my very low mood back in July down to the lack of sun. I can certainly suffer through the winter months.
Does make one wonder.

 

[marshfarmer]

I can relate to that.
I put my very low mood back in July down to the lack of sun. I can certainly suffer through the winter months.
Does make one wonder.

Agree, I've felt awful this week not helped by a birthday which really brings it home for me, no family and barely any friends, but the last two days the sun have been out and it's been a little easier. I'm going to move somewhere where the winters are better, and go see the doctor.

 

[marshfarmer]

I think we have finally made it through one of our worst weeks ever.

By Thursday I also had come down with the dreaded full blown infection and we watched my temperature rising by the hour 36.5, 37.0, 38.4, and 39.2. The wife was already taking antibiotics and I wasn't to get any until late Thursday afternoon. It all felt like we were slipping into the hands of the grim reaper. Neither of us can remember a time when we both felt so bad!

By Friday the GP was out to the wife for a third time and prescribed more antibiotics and steroids to be taken on top of the original supply. Today is something of an improvement and both of our temperatures have stabilized and we are moving about a little like broken zombies. Every move requires effort and leaves us exhausted.

Somehow managed to keep our sense of humor though. After I had changed her bed linen three time, she said she needed a shower but settled for a bed-bath. Whilst I was carefully positioning the sheets, she said what are you doing? Trying to preserve your modesty! Sod my modesty, just get on with it. I said......you do realize that fifty years ago, this could have been really interesting!

This morning whilst heading to the stairs juggling a steaming cup of tea and several bottle of water to keep up her liquid intake., she shouted down..........use my stair lift, I'll operate the controls up here..........."just sit on it!" I shouted back, who do you think you are "The Fonz", and we both laughed. Still a long way to full recovery and it looks like being a slow progress.

Thanks for all the good wishes.

I hope that all you folks are making good progress and perhaps making use of the many facilities available.

Chris

Sorry to hear of your troubles, you have done so much to help people on here and I read this thread and your posts fairly often. Best wishes to you and a speedy recovery Do well

 

[JWL]

This spell of weather is doing no-one any favours, I've been coping the last month or two but school holidays are on us again and my eldest with his autism finds it hard to adjust to not being at college during the week. Don't get me wrong, he's not totally obsessive but with his limited language it's like a dripping tap being asked the same questions every five minutes. There's a medical term that describes this action, it's not because he needs reassurance it's due to the part of his brain that can't register the fact that he's only just asked the same question moments ago, think of someone with Alzheimers but to witness it in someone who is only 20 years old is really hard. It makes me snappy to him and his brother and as much as you try to stop yourself from doing it you're pre-empting him and waiting for the next round with your hackles up.
I've been lucky in the last couple of weeks in that his respite family have taken him on their family holiday with a couple of their other "clients" and when I picked him up it was straight to our yearly camping 10 days in Wales so he's been kept occupied for close on three weeks but now starts the rest of the time off college untill September.
At least I can get an odd hour or two's break by leaving him at home with his brother while I can get some shopping done or the odd bit of sitting on a tractor or spannering to keep my head straight.
The way the years are flying by it won't be long before I get some peace and quiet with the two boys back at their respective colleges so I'll just get my head down and grin and bear it and try not to think about the low parts of life, would help though if the feckin sun would shine a bit more but it's getting evident that the days are creeping shorter allready!

 

[Christoph1945]

Had to get up for a pee, so thought I would just drop in for a few minutes. I'm slowly shaking off the virus that laid both the wife and I low but her resistance must be weaker than mine and she is taking a little longer. Her GP has now been out four times and even called in unannounced on Friday. Our regular pharmacist actually delivered the wife's prescription personally and asked after her well-being on Friday. I'm not quite sure if I should be encouraged, or worried.

She must be starting to get better though, she is noticing the occasional spider web that I haven't evicted it's resident from.

You must be a hero JWL; I'm not sure that I could cope as well as you are doing but as I pondered the often repeated questions I got to wondering if they are due to his slow (deep) thought processes rather than forgetfulness; or maybe a bit of both. A bit like when our children start to ask the endless "why"! I can certainly see how repeatedly asking the same questions can slow one down and irritate, when one needs to get on and get things done. What happens if you ask him why he was asking and what was he thinking about the subject in question; or would that completely chuck a spanner in the works?

Your right about the shortening days though. I have always loved to watch the dawn and sun come up over the horizon; perhaps more so than watching it set in the west. Each morning now, the sun appears to be wee bit slower getting out o' bed and the darkness is starting to creep into our days. I hear tell of people who use special light-bulbs and take tablets to offset the affects of sunlight deficiencies.

 

[spin cycle]

Agree, I've felt awful this week not helped by a birthday which really brings it home for me, no family and barely any friends, but the last two days the sun have been out and it's been a little easier. I'm going to move somewhere where the winters are better, and go see the doctor.

plenty friends on here boy