diary of a comedy sheep farm

spin cycle · Jul 4, 2020

saturday

arkwrights first up...petrol for atv and a much reduced grocery bill thank feck

....he gives me some free rollie filters that a supplier has given him....'why did they give them to you' i ask....arkwright speculates it's cos o his good character...'got a number so i can put em right' i quip?

at farm admiral +K on mule ...me on gator....all off on patrol.....the toaster has held

.....the fryer has a little snot which i capture

......admiral getting increasingly mutinous over me selling outfits.....there was me thinking we were in the business of selling sheep

did have a little 'surprise'....an unpromising hogg that i thought was in lamb....but then thought she wasn't :scratchhead:

......produced

.....that means we've had at least one lambing every month so far this year?

finished the stewardship forms this pm

...despite interruptions

Bury the Trash · Jul 4, 2020

spin cycle said:
saturday

arkwrights first up...petrol for atv and a much reduced grocery bill thank feck ....he gives me some free rollie filters that a supplier has given him....'why did they give them to you' i ask....arkwright speculates it's cos o his good character...'got a number so i can put em right' i quip?

at farm admiral +K on mule ...me on gator....all off on patrol.....the toaster has held.....the fryer has a little snot which i capture......admiral getting increasingly mutinous over me selling outfits.....there was me thinking we were in the business of selling sheep

did have a little 'surprise'....an unpromising hogg that i thought was in lamb....but then thought she wasn't......produced.....that means we've had at least one lambing every month so far this year?

finished the stewardship forms this pm...despite interruptions

was the camera at a n angle ? i didnt think there was any sloping fields in Norfolk / it was all flat like pancake .....

spin cycle · Jul 4, 2020

Bury the Trash said:
was the camera at a n angle ? i didnt think there was any sloping fields in Norfolk / it was all flat like pancake .....

yep camera angle ..in this case....this bitta norfolk is gently undulating though

clod hopper · Jul 4, 2020

So Elvis has left the building!?

Lambing every month?!¡!! You progressive farmer you!!! I think the 'Admiral' has been moving stock around behind your back to keep breeding as your so keen on selling!!? No wonder you have'Snotage' mate?!

robbie · Jul 5, 2020

I see someone got a mention in Saturdays EDP for there "nice little lot" of ewes and lambs at norwich market last time around. Next time I see you @spin cycle I'll be asking for your autograph.

spin cycle · Jul 5, 2020

robbie said:
I see someone got a mention in Saturdays EDP for there "nice little lot" of ewes and lambs at norwich market last time around. Next time I see you @spin cycle I'll be asking for your autograph.

thank you right cheered me up

...i hadn't been having the best day

8am phone goes pony out

in the yard the fencer alarm was beeping.....short + down to 3k volts

,,,,,,,down the field we find a small bow down on fence....but nothing seems to be out :scratchhead:

.....back home fencer is displaying 9k volts

i wanted to go to mole country stores ...website says open but not answering the phone :scratchhead:

....darn't risk it

phone goes...mrs spin, on way to wells, spots snottage

....they musta got out earlier...i drive them back but,of course, with the toaster at full tilt they don't wanna go back thru....nils desperandum james

.....i'll drive the around the fence back to the yard

....cept halfway a fat charolais panics....attempts to jump the fence....bellyflops where upon the rest trample over her back into the field to blend in with some others

back home i'm trying to figure how to mark the snot so i can draft them out :scratchhead:

......wait for it

....i'm googling 'paintball guns for sale near me'.....HH pipes up 'why don't you get them all in and mark them like you did the others?'.....she's referring to my practice of spraying last 3 numbers of ear tag on sheep prior to market....why the feck didn't i think of that

......the snot will either be unmarked or i can take their numbers

later on in between running cinders to sheringham and back..HH lets pony out and we get wet catching her

NOW finally @robbie m8 a coupla little points...1/ who the feck is sad enough to read the market reports in the EDP apart from me,you...arkwright+granville (cos i made them)??...and 2/ being pedantic but detail is everything if you ever want to top the mart

.....it was....'nice little entry WITH THE BEST from etc'.....just sayin?

clod hopper · Jul 6, 2020

spin cycle said:
thank you right cheered me up ...i hadn't been having the best day

8am phone goes pony out

in the yard the fencer alarm was beeping.....short + down to 3k volts ,,,,,,,down the field we find a small bow down on fence....but nothing seems to be out.....back home fencer is displaying 9k volts

i wanted to go to mole country stores ...website says open but not answering the phone....darn't risk it

phone goes...mrs spin, on way to wells, spots snottage ....they musta got out earlier...i drive them back but,of course, with the toaster at full tilt they don't wanna go back thru....nils desperandum james.....i'll drive the around the fence back to the yard....cept halfway a fat charolais panics....attempts to jump the fence....bellyflops where upon the rest trample over her back into the field to blend in with some others

back home i'm trying to figure how to mark the snot so i can draft them out......wait for it....i'm googling 'paintball guns for sale near me'.....HH pipes up 'why don't you get them all in and mark them like you did the others?'.....she's referring to my practice of spraying last 3 numbers of ear tag on sheep prior to market....why the feck didn't i think of that......the snot will either be unmarked or i can take their numbers

later on in between running cinders to sheringham and back..HH lets pony out and we get wet catching her

NOW finally @robbie m8 a coupla little points...1/ who the feck is sad enough to read the market reports in the EDP apart from me,you...arkwright+granville (cos i made them)??...and 2/ being pedantic but detail is everything if you ever want to top the mart.....it was....'nice little entry WITH THE BEST from etc'.....just sayin?

Careful with all your gloating my friend . . . Your naighbours might ask to be paid for grazing!?? Mind you, still good to top the market two weeks running (takes some doing!) well done ?!

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2020

clod hopper said:
Careful with all your gloating my friend . . . Your naighbours might ask to be paid for grazing!?? Mind you, still good to top the market two weeks running (takes some doing!) well done ?!

GLOATING

.....MOI

?....thought about neighbours had occurred to me though

......mind you i'll have to pay if it's to bad...only fair

Lodekka · Jul 6, 2020

Careful, he’ll be buying a round of drinks for us next if he gets too pleased with himself.

Reality check... - chance of none!

clod hopper · Jul 6, 2020

spin cycle said:
GLOATING.....MOI?....thought about neighbours had occurred to me though ......mind you i'll have to pay if it's to bad...only fair

Was only pulling your leg mate ? credit to you all the same ?

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2020

Lodekka said:
Reality check... - chance of none!

spot on ?

clod hopper said:
Was only pulling your leg mate ?

were you?,,,were you?.....OK you lot i get the message

.....SO i've decided i'm not going to mention mart anymore.....see pic.....despite the fact it's the only thing going right work wise i shall desist and henceforth any mention of mart will be 'blank'...'indignant sniff' emoji.......instead it's back to treading in fat spaniel doings and being trampled by snot

got to work early this morning...got 'organised'

to treat some ewes+lambs at bale....did some other stuff so that when K arrived we could concentrate on our 'problem field' first up

...i explained the 'plan' TWICE to the admiral +K......but despite this they didn't follow orders and it went wrong very quickly....however hms sheep cycle came to the rescue and we captured 20 ewes + their lambs.....trouble is 2/3 are innocent with the 'most wanted' snot hiding amongst them :scratchhead:

.....sort it out tommoz

K and i then went and went thru bale sheep...they're not great....bit neglected

....TLC required

noon...at farm....off to mole country stores

,,,,in dereham 3 sets of roadworks....first unattended...annoys me

....second a lone bloke on a mini digger whilst the traffic management bloke sat in his cab.....seems to be trend for contractors to set up traffic control....must be more efficient but i can't see how :scratchhead:

...i once saw a bloke come set up some lights. in the morning...nothing happened...he came packed up that night

....third was gas works....two likely lads beavering about....a lorry driver unloading a dumper....a zombie... mouth agape clutching a 'monster' energy drink and two 'weebles' (as in wobble)?

back home half past two....the admiral had been busy

.....'i've got you a three acre secure paddock and a one acre paddock for hay'......i roll my eyes...'i'm just finding somewhere for the escapees to go' she continues....'i know 'somewhere' (blank) for them to go' i reply....'yes...well we
'differ' on that' she says....then proceeds to ring local pharmacy and give em hell cos she wants more pills......i go collect

last job is a little job on 'magic box'.....not hay making weather but we live in hope.....the pto broke last season....the rear part is still on though and it's a two button job....of course they're seized so wd40....slight 'tappage'

....just as i'm giving up hope it yields

...pto from root chopper is perfect replacement

clod hopper · Jul 6, 2020

spin cycle said:
spot on ?

were you?,,,were you?.....OK you lot i get the message.....SO i've decided i'm not going to mention mart anymore.....see pic.....despite the fact it's the only thing going right work wise i shall desist and henceforth any mention of mart will be 'blank'...'indignant sniff' emoji.......instead it's back to treading in fat spaniel doings and being trampled by snot

got to work early this morning...got 'organised' to treat some ewes+lambs at bale....did some other stuff so that when K arrived we could concentrate on our 'problem field' first up...i explained the 'plan' TWICE to the admiral +K......but despite this they didn't follow orders and it went wrong very quickly....however hms sheep cycle came to the rescue and we captured 20 ewes + their lambs.....trouble is 2/3 are innocent with the 'most wanted' snot hiding amongst them.....sort it out tommoz

K and i then went and went thru bale sheep...they're not great....bit neglected....TLC required

noon...at farm....off to mole country stores,,,,in dereham 3 sets of roadworks....first unattended...annoys me....second a lone bloke on a mini digger whilst the traffic management bloke sat in his cab.....seems to be trend for contractors to set up traffic control....must be more efficient but i can't see how...i once saw a bloke come set up some lights. in the morning...nothing happened...he came packed up that night....third was gas works....two likely lads beavering about....a lorry driver unloading a dumper....a zombie... mouth agape clutching a 'monster' energy drink and two 'weebles' (as in wobble)?

back home half past two....the admiral had been busy.....'i've got you a three acre secure paddock and a one acre paddock for hay'......i roll my eyes...'i'm just finding somewhere for the escapees to go' she continues....'i know 'somewhere' (blank) for them to go' i reply....'yes...well we
'differ' on that' she says....then proceeds to ring local pharmacy and give em hell cos she wants more pills......i go collect

last job is a little job on 'magic box'.....not hay making weather but we live in hope.....the pto broke last season....the rear part is still on though and it's a two button job....of course they're seized so wd40....slight 'tappage'....just as i'm giving up hope it yields...pto from root chopper is perfect replacement

I'd threaten the Admiral by selling more livestock - massive potential to gain more acreage!!? Wish my mother (in law) was as industrious!!

So many big 'multi tools' you have! Best of luck with the PTO ?

clod hopper · Jul 6, 2020

spin cycle said:
spot on ?

were you?,,,were you?.....OK you lot i get the message.....SO i've decided i'm not going to mention mart anymore.....see pic.....despite the fact it's the only thing going right work wise i shall desist and henceforth any mention of mart will be 'blank'...'indignant sniff' emoji.......instead it's back to treading in fat spaniel doings and being trampled by snot

got to work early this morning...got 'organised' to treat some ewes+lambs at bale....did some other stuff so that when K arrived we could concentrate on our 'problem field' first up...i explained the 'plan' TWICE to the admiral +K......but despite this they didn't follow orders and it went wrong very quickly....however hms sheep cycle came to the rescue and we captured 20 ewes + their lambs.....trouble is 2/3 are innocent with the 'most wanted' snot hiding amongst them.....sort it out tommoz

K and i then went and went thru bale sheep...they're not great....bit neglected....TLC required

noon...at farm....off to mole country stores,,,,in dereham 3 sets of roadworks....first unattended...annoys me....second a lone bloke on a mini digger whilst the traffic management bloke sat in his cab.....seems to be trend for contractors to set up traffic control....must be more efficient but i can't see how...i once saw a bloke come set up some lights. in the morning...nothing happened...he came packed up that night....third was gas works....two likely lads beavering about....a lorry driver unloading a dumper....a zombie... mouth agape clutching a 'monster' energy drink and two 'weebles' (as in wobble)?

back home half past two....the admiral had been busy.....'i've got you a three acre secure paddock and a one acre paddock for hay'......i roll my eyes...'i'm just finding somewhere for the escapees to go' she continues....'i know 'somewhere' (blank) for them to go' i reply....'yes...well we
'differ' on that' she says....then proceeds to ring local pharmacy and give em hell cos she wants more pills......i go collect

last job is a little job on 'magic box'.....not hay making weather but we live in hope.....the pto broke last season....the rear part is still on though and it's a two button job....of course they're seized so wd40....slight 'tappage'....just as i'm giving up hope it yields...pto from root chopper is perfect replacement

Many apologies!
Think miss read what the Admiral had been up to. Still she was helping (I hope) in her way.

You should stay and watch at the livestock market many a funny tale seen and told there? (more content stored for writer's block).

Man you are touchie touchie!?

spin cycle · Jul 6, 2020

nerdy...needy....now 'touchie'.......comes from becoming an 'artiste' i suppose ? ?

Lodekka · Jul 7, 2020

I’ll be in my trailer...

spin cycle · Jul 7, 2020

productive morning

sprayed the fryer's fence line...it needed a little TLC but TBH i wish the fekkers would pester that rather than the toaster

pony needed more grass + water tank filled
checked toaster fenceline...ok...i think :scratchhead:

wormed + flyed orphan lambs

then off to langham to put some stockfence on the post+ rail new paddock....owner is concerned that wildlife can 'commute' so i put fence upside down.....bigger gaps at bottom

......spitting with rain but goes quite well

.....main section up...tight...but not tacked by 1:30pm....hunger + rain though so i declare for lunch?

the church clock had chimed for 1 o'clock and ,as i work, the mind wanders....in 'merrie olde rural england' i'dve stopped...wiped the sweat from i brow and toddled down to the 'bluebell' for lunch....getting there i'd be greeted by the blonde busty barmaid....'afternoon mr D ..d'yer fancy a bit o scrumpy?' she'd say.....then the landlord interrupts..'now then maisy don't harass the good gentlemen....good to see yer master jim oi see yee topped the 'blank' again....maisy get the master a pint of cider on the house for bein such a good sort then prepare our best ploughmans platter for im'.......
....snapping out of my illusion i speculate what it'd be like nowadays

....
................i'd be greeted 'sniffily' and told i'd be served but only if i sat outside on account of 'rural odour'....1/2 litre of 'cidre' would be fetched in a stemmed glass and the only thing i could order was 'fromage de pretentious b'stard' at £25/pop....the barmaid's still blonde+ busty but it's HH ,who, upon seeing me castigates me for my frivolity 'you could've brought mum down later for a romantic supper'....she chases me from the premises as i choke on a crouton

it rains after lunch so i concentrate on my new diversification initiative 'Seeking Knowledge In Various Enterprises'

Lodekka · Jul 7, 2020

Now that is a very over active mind you have there...

More farming duty and less dreaming required if you want to stay top of the market me lad!

Flat 10 · Jul 7, 2020

it rains after lunch so i concentrate on my new diversification initiative 'Seeking Knowledge In Various Enterprises'
Intrigueing......

spin cycle · Jul 7, 2020

Flat 10 said:
it rains after lunch so i concentrate on my new diversification initiative 'Seeking Knowledge In Various Enterprises'
Intrigueing......

being an arable farmer i'dve thought you were fully conversant :scratchhead:

?

Flat 10 · Jul 7, 2020

spin cycle said:
being an arable farmer i'dve thought you were fully conversant ?

In sitting inside during rain yes. I have no alternative enterprises- im just a farmer

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