- Location
- Cheshire
You’ll certainly see a wide span of the trade at UA or H&H. They seem to have quite a throughput of trainees who serve time then move on.
How to get into auctioneering.
- Thread starter Young farmer Sam
- Start date
To the OP.
Are you trustworthy? Y/N
Are you an accomplished Liar? Y/N
Would you sell your own Grandmother? Y/N
Do you have a Moral Compass? Y/N
Can you see things others cannot? Y/N
Do you like spending other peoples money? Y/N
Are you morally bankrupt? Y/N
If you answered Yes or No to any of the above questions then you could probably become an auctioneer
Are you trustworthy? Y/N
Are you an accomplished Liar? Y/N
Would you sell your own Grandmother? Y/N
Do you have a Moral Compass? Y/N
Can you see things others cannot? Y/N
Do you like spending other peoples money? Y/N
Are you morally bankrupt? Y/N
If you answered Yes or No to any of the above questions then you could probably become an auctioneer
- Location
- Cheshire
Thankfully I nearly always only buy for myself. Can usually square it with myself pretty easy
- Location
- Cheshire
Christ you lot must deal with some rum auctioneers! I quite agree a good auctioneer needs to be a little bit bent but they aren’t all barstewards!
Most are like that, I buy for a certain man who to start with was very cautious, now less so regularly buys with just a call or a few photos. It all seems to average out wellThankfully I nearly always only buy for myself. Can usually square it with myself pretty easy
Greythundercloudys
Member
Ua have alot of young auctioneer, purvis will be the man to talk to, lanark are looking for a couple so Ross has been saying to folk.
Or land agents
- Location
- Cheshire
Now that’s different…Or land agents
Happy at it
Member
- Location
- NI
It's useful when an auctioneer actually knows the value of stock, local mart is a fortunate that way and has a few men who are good farmers along with their mart work. Saves spending all day bringing stock up from prices they never should have been. The same boys knock pens down to the dealers whether they like it or not at times, and just smile if they complain. They were started by the market numbering calves in the drop calve sale, and are well thought of by sellers and buyers alike.
- Location
- Moreton-in-Marsh, Glos
One of the best Auctioneers I ever knew was John Grain, as in Cheffins, Grain and Challk, now just Cheffins, who run the Cambridgeshire machinery sales.
John would look over the top of his half rimmed spectacles and waring his deerstalker hat, would always be smoking a cigarette and no matter how fast he could talk as the auctioneer, could smoke the whole thing without dropping its entire length of ash off.
He had the most polished ever pair of brown brogue shoes and the cheekiest laugh you ever heard.
Some years after he had died, my boss and I went to the sales to buy a tractor. Cheffins knew me well because they did our stocktake and valuations on my previous farm. We found a tractor we liked and my boss asked if he could do the bidding. After a minute, my boss stopped bidding and asked me if I had noticed who the other bidder was.
The very embarrassed auctioneer said that there wasn’t anybody else bidding but that the tractor hadn’t reached its reserves. We then asked what the reserve was and said ‘Done!’
It was still only half what we would have paid.
Dear old John Grain would never have let on that we were bidding against the wall!
That incident caused quite a laugh amongst the other potential bidders, some of whom were quite surprised.
Nearly as much as when he was on the Antiques Roadshow and is the only bloke, who after hearing how much the artefact was valued at, was heard to say “I think you’ll find young man, that it is worth substantially more than that!”
John would look over the top of his half rimmed spectacles and waring his deerstalker hat, would always be smoking a cigarette and no matter how fast he could talk as the auctioneer, could smoke the whole thing without dropping its entire length of ash off.
He had the most polished ever pair of brown brogue shoes and the cheekiest laugh you ever heard.
Some years after he had died, my boss and I went to the sales to buy a tractor. Cheffins knew me well because they did our stocktake and valuations on my previous farm. We found a tractor we liked and my boss asked if he could do the bidding. After a minute, my boss stopped bidding and asked me if I had noticed who the other bidder was.
The very embarrassed auctioneer said that there wasn’t anybody else bidding but that the tractor hadn’t reached its reserves. We then asked what the reserve was and said ‘Done!’
It was still only half what we would have paid.
Dear old John Grain would never have let on that we were bidding against the wall!
That incident caused quite a laugh amongst the other potential bidders, some of whom were quite surprised.
Nearly as much as when he was on the Antiques Roadshow and is the only bloke, who after hearing how much the artefact was valued at, was heard to say “I think you’ll find young man, that it is worth substantially more than that!”
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- Location
- Cheshire
The proper auctioneer can have you laughing while he takes you all the way too
Roy Waller wasn’t everyone’s cup of tea selling calves at Chelford but I thought he was brilliant, get all the dealers laughing and while they were doing that he was knocking calves into them 2/3 bids past the mark.
Courier
Member
- Location
- M62 - M1 - M18 triangle
Nah, if both the sellers and the buyers are mildly disgruntled then you will have done your job well.
Scott Donaldson @ Carlisle
John Thompson @ Longtown
Willie adie
Member
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
That's what they say about politicians
Willie adie
Member
- Location
- Aberdeenshire
It's a strange situation that in that job you are trying to get the seller the highest price possible , while the buyer wants the lowest price,
Good luck squaring that circle
Good luck squaring that circle
ridger
Member
- Location
- Tyrone, Northern Ireland
It's a nice feeling leaving him singing when there is noone else bidding
- Location
- Northumberland
Firm of land agents were doing a farm sale. Junior partner was selling a tractor. Senior partner was standing where he could see what was going on with a "bidder" on the phone.Or land agents
Half way through his phone rang
The assembled throng creased up with laughter.
- Location
- Cheshire
Surprised that no one has mentioned the requirement of bordering on being a professional drinker as it seems to be a common qualification in the profession
that’s to cope with the stress of moaning sellers, moaning buyers and moaning yardmen 
john432
Member
- Location
- Carmarthenshire
There used to be one in Llanybydder who used to drink till he could hardly stand up...and would regularly wet himself...and farmers were daft enough to let him carry on selling their stock....Surprised that no one has mentioned the requirement of bordering on being a professional drinker as it seems to be a common qualification in the profession