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Discussion in 'Agricultural Matters' started by Andyrob, Jun 21, 2013.
couldn't be more true
We get to choose our friends but not our families. We sometimes drop people because of the way they treat or talk to us but how do we talk to our selves? If someone talked to us the same way that we talk to our selves we would very soon drop them!
I have a very close friend who, upon committing a small error, will say to her self, out loud...………."Stupid Bitch!". It is said with venom and I bet if others voiced the same opinion of her she would very soon start to avoid them. How, I wonder, can I persuade her to be kinder to her self? Perhaps if she was kinder to others she would be kinder to her self; do you think? Or perhaps her vocalisation is an echo from her past? We all vocalise mentally but what do we say when we talk to our selves?
I think, because we are used to ourselves we know ourselves too well so we can be nasty and hurtful to ourselves, we have that right as it were. When others do it it's almost like a validation of what we already think about ourselves and we hate that, because if we say it there's a chance we could be wrong, but when others say it we know that we were right and deep down, because everybody loves themselves, It hurts. At least that's my own spin on it. We expect reassurance from others instead of agreement and when it's not given we take it personally.
Spot on waterbuffalofarmer!!!! This is how my counsellor explains things. We look for validation and when it's not given, we/I take it to heart and stew on it.......
Guys, honestly, did not expect to find this topic here. And, frankly speaking, I never understood how to bring myself to such a state. It seems to me that this is not all. Suicide? No excuse me somehow without me .. sorry for my english..a slav
That's fine no worries. I think its important to have topics like this discussed openly on a forum, such as this, because everyone needs a place to vent or to confide in strangers/friends. Welcome aboard. Please carry on we are all here to listen
Yes enjoyable book, and i too would reccomend it to anyone struggling in life, thanks @Greenbeast for reccomending it
Quite agree. Am 2/3s through it. I recommended it to our vet to suggest to clients if the need ever arises
I really try to make a laugh and use 'silly arse' in a jocular way as apposed the 'f******g idiot!' in a serious way
6 signs your 'bad day' is something more serious
According to a psychologist.
bodyandsoul.com.auNovember 12, 20188:25am
Every individual is different and our emotions play a huge part in who we are, how we behave and how we react to life’s events. Our emotions are what makes us unique, a critical part of our human behaviour that allows us to express ourselves on various levels. But what happens when our emotions leave us feeling different, which can affect other areas of our lives?
As humans, it is normal to have good and bad days, especially if we are experiencing a life event that could put strain on us. For example, if you’re experiencing a breakup, it is natural for you to feel upset and sad, which can happen over consecutive days and longer periods of time. However, what happens when your entire outlook on life has changed and it seems as though you are in a melancholy frame of mind all of the time? Does this point to something else? Lysn psychologist Elyse McNeil details the six signs you might be depressed and not even know it.
1. You constantly feel tired
Depression can make a person feel constantly tired and in severe cases, involve debilitating fatigue. Varying factors can contribute to this fatigue and can also be signs of depression such as sleep problems, stress, lack of exercise and poor diet can all contribute to making a person feel lethargic. If you are constantly feeling tired, try to be aware of what’s going on in your mind when you are falling asleep. Are you constantly thinking about something that is causing you stress? If you have a lot on your mind, chances are you’ll think about these more when your brain can concentrate on them (and unfortunately this can be right before you go to sleep)!
2. You’re not sleeping properly
Research shows that lack of sleep is associated with reduced quality of life and depression. Sleep is essential for regenerating the body and mind and when a person doesn’t sleep properly this can have an effect throughout their life. Poor quality or interrupted sleep can also have a dramatic effect on a person’s wellbeing, making them feel tired and lacking energy throughout the day. Trouble sleeping usually stems from not being able to calm your mind, so be sure to practice some tactics that might help, such as no screens before bed, journaling and meditation. Lack of sleep can unfortunately become a psychological and physical battle for a person, and over time can make a person slip further into depression. Oversleeping is also a major symptom of depression, particularly when the additional sleep leaves you feeling more tired rather than refreshed.
3. Your outlook has changed in a negative way
This is usually one of the more obvious signs that you might be suffering from depression, especially if it feels like your outlook has done a complete 180. You might have previously been a bubbly, positive and optimistic person, who now feels the opposite in every way. Sure, having ups and downs is normal, but feeling unhappy all the time for no specific reason and just generally feeling ‘empty’ inside can be a sign that you’re suffering from depression. It is important to seek help from a professional if you are feeling this way, or talk to someone close to you about what might be impacting your outlook.
4. You’ve lost interest in things you used to enjoy
People who are suffering from depression can lose interest in the things that they used to enjoy, whether it’s a hobby, food, social activity, hanging out with friends, or their career. A loss of interest in activities can be a sign of depression, especially if the person becomes withdrawn and tries to avoid social activities that they'd usually enjoy. This obviously happens from time to time for everyone, however, if this is happening on a regular basis, it could be a sign you’re depressed.
5. You’ve turned to substances
Depression and substance abuse can sometimes go hand in hand, with those suffering from depression turning to drugs and alcohol as a way to lift their mood or escape from reality or the pressures of life. However, this can actually have the opposite effect, especially since alcohol is a depressant and can increase feelings of sadness and the come down from drugs can also leave a person feeling sad and upset. This leads to depression and substance use disorder becoming bi-directional, meaning that people will likely suffer both disorders at once, trapped in a cycle that can makes matters worse.
6. Your appetite has changed
We’ve all heard the term emotional eating, and perhaps even experienced it first hand for ourselves. The same goes for when a person is feeling emotional but loses their appetite or love of food. Depression can involve loss of appetite and can also involve overeating, often causing people to lose or gain weight as a result. Changes in eating habits can also be related to other symptoms of depression, such as feeling fatigued and a general loss of interest.
Lysn, Beyond Blue, Black Dog Institute, Lifeline, RUOK or Headspace.
Two great posts Roy; many thanks for heads up and the links.
It's been a funny old week but by doing one thing at a time with mental blinkers on so I am not overwhelmed by all the stuff that has piled up I have actually got a fair bit done.
50 th birthday coming up and it's daunting, like Christmas was, which I've just recovered from. I like my routine of feeding the stock and pottering on the farm at this time of year, catching up on repairs and wot not. I have no desire to throw a big party or go on holiday but the pressure and expectation to do that is building and I don't like it if I'm honest. Holidays bore me senseless and stress me more than work as I am unsociable and the bad thoughts and doubts start coming into my mind. I'd rather keep nicely occupied with my work which is actually also my hobby and leisure pursuit as I do it in moderation and I am not forced to do it. I dont mind a day out now and again for change of scenery but flights and hotels and all that drive me nuts with all the waiting around wasting time etc, and for what? Searching for something I already have at home. Inner peace and contentment that I won't find abroad. There is just tourist tat there. Not real life. Over priced tat and nonsense. Maybe it's too good at home.
Don’t have a party then. I certainly didn’t have a 50th. I told my ex if she organised a 40tn we would be finished. She did and we were finished just before my 41st.
I think you are right there. Better to be true to oneself and content than to constantly appease and store up simmering resentment.
Particularly if you’re feeling fragile, you should be doing whatever pleases you, and the people closest to you should be happy with that. It’s your birthday after all.
I have always had difficulties with social interaction. I don't know why but I have. Shyness, awkwardness etc. I think it ran in the family. Grandad wouldn't even answer the phone. Booze helps greatly but that's not a route I want to go down. So I come across as a miserable old git if I'm sober at a party. That's how it is. I can't really fathom it. If I'm not peed at a party then I'm depressed because I struggle to interact. I take things too seriously generally. I don't really understand why I'm like I am. Sometimes I'm not really sure what I'm really like. Maybe it's parental influence that stifles out true self. Maybe I'm only just finding out what I'm really like as parental influence recedes.
Just rambling folks. No worries.
If it's any help. I don't like parties either
I’m pretty much the same, unfortunately it can make ‘life’ hard work at times. It takes all sorts to make a world, so don’t be too hard on yourself.
Have you done a personality test? They are crude but group you into general types, which can be helpful in terms of understanding ones self (ps. I did them and came out as really flipping weird!)