Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[glasshouse]

We are giving it 5 weeks before selling up. Technically we have until March 2022, but parents said 5 weeks and if nothing has happened by then, then that's it. My plan is, if it doesn't succeed then I'm done, I am going to get my own career and business in something else. It's a dream I have been putting off for a long while, but we shall see

Dont sell in january

 

[Christoph1945]

I very recently underwent eye surgery on my left eye and the nice lady surgeon removed the lens, along with what she called a wowser of a cataract, and fitted a new synthetic lens. As my eye has healed and I can see very clearly through it I am amazed at the clarity of the vision in the left eye and am equally amazed by the discolouration of my vision in the right eye,

Why on earth do I bother mentioning this again? Well, I have been thinking of how our mind's eye is often distorted by a vail, induced by past hurts, pains, and experiences, and it sometimes needs a skilled individual to help us lift, or remove that vail and allow us to see things more clearly.

I once entered into the world of anger, depression, anxiety, and total despair, sinking beyond the hope of any recovery but with the help and support of many willing and patient people came through but sustained something of a psychological limp for many years afterwards.

Oh my, oh my, oh my; if only I had known then what I know now, I could have saved an awful lot of heart ache for both my self and others.

I have learned to try and treat depression like quicksand and as soon as the ground beneath my feet starts to soften up I reassess the situation, my next step, and then back off and retrace my steps if need be.

Cognitive Behavioural Therapy for Dummies sounds interesting, I will pick up a copy ASAP; thanks for the heads up on that.

Chris

PS .......

When I were a kid my mother was harassed keeping house for nine in an old Victorian hovel and doing her best to make ends meet and she was also heavy handed, had piercing eyes that could almost turn a child to stone, as well as being quite explosive against any of us that misbehaved in the slightest way.

Of course, at that time, I didn't know what post natal depression and the female change of life were but retrospectively I can see clearly now and understanding brings an outbreak of kindness in my heart but I can still remember the day that I was foolish enough to ask mother why she didn't have any nice clothes, like aunty next door. Of course, a simple explanation of home economics would have been far less wounding than the explosive reply that I actually got.

With help and support even the mists of time can be lifted, allowing us more clarity of view and understanding.

Stay safe, stay well and please remember that even if you feel fine dropping in here can be most supportive of others; your good news is medication to all our souls.

Chris

 

[Texel Tup]

@Christoph1945 ~ the man has not been born yet, who doesn't maintain his catalogue of pain or regret or remorse. I suspect that it's where we store it that matters …….. I try to keep mine in a tin box, on a shelf which is only just within reach ~ and being human and being perverse, I seem unable to resist the temptation to occasionally open the tin, and sometimes a bottle too. Neither process does me any good.

I also had a mother, and now of course, I see how she struggled. My tears at her passing weren't for her, they were for me and the mother who I felt that I never had …….. it's raining, I'm going to take the dog for a walk! Peace and love everyone.

 

[Christoph1945]

@Christoph1945 ~ the man has not been born yet, who doesn't maintain his catalogue of pain or regret or remorse. I suspect that it's where we store it that matters …….. I try to keep mine in a tin box, on a shelf which is only just within reach ~ and being human and being perverse, I seem unable to resist the temptation to occasionally open the tin, and sometimes a bottle too. Neither process does me any good.

I also had a mother, and now of course, I see how she struggled. My tears at her passing weren't for her, they were for me and the mother who I felt that I never had …….. it's raining, I'm going to take the dog for a walk! Peace and love everyone.

My tears were also for 'the if only things could have been different'!

Broken legs make it difficult for us to walk but time and healing help us to make progress but sadly our broken hearts are invisible and that invisibility slows down our healing; as does the protective hardening of our hearts, that we sometimes build around them.

Have a good walk and give the dog a stroke from me,

I can remember, long ago, walking in a terrible downpour, soaked to the skin, but nobody could see my tears, or my pain.

Chris

 

[FonterraFarmer]

That is about the only thing left for me to do, that really motivates me, that "help change someone's life for the better" thing

To me, being able to make lives better is the ultimate meaning of my life. Even if it's just something "little", it's still huge to someone.

Success in life is not determined by size or other people's standards or expectations but by the limitations of one's own mind.

 

[Christoph1945]

That is about the only thing left for me to do, that really motivates me, that "help change someone's life for the better" thing

To me, being able to make lives better is the ultimate meaning of my life. Even if it's just something "little", it's still huge to someone.

With apologies to JFK; ask not what others can do for us but what we can do for others!

 

[Kiwi Pete]

With apologies to JFK; ask not what others can do for us but what we can do for others!

A wee story on that, when we first got our vegie garden going we had far "too much" and the kids wanted to make an honesty box/stall, so we did.

Then on Sunday evenings, it started getting cleaned out, not the money but the veg was disappearing, the boys were pretty upset by that and wanted to stop

but we soon clicked on that, if it was regularly getting swiped, 2 days before benefit day, then someone was in need - so we had a bit of a brainstorm about who might be "in need" and narrowed it down to 5 families in the local local vicinity

then we filled boxes, bit of this, bit of that, put a couple of meat packs on top and just knocked on their doors

"Hi, we've got a bit too much stuff to use at the moment, could you use some food?" and not only did we never get raided again, but we all got something out of it

interestingly our eldest lad was getting bullied a little at school and suddenly that ceased, which also helped narrow down who may have been in need of a bit of "pay it forward"

the thing is we simply would never have gotten any of that if we didn't "change something" and now we don't have a stall, we just drop off our spare veg, especially at this time of the year when any spare money goes into Christmas presents

 

[Christoph1945]

A wee story on that, when we first got our vegie garden going we had far "too much" and the kids wanted to make an honesty box/stall, so we did.

Then on Sunday evenings, it started getting cleaned out, not the money but the veg was disappearing, the boys were pretty upset by that and wanted to stop

but we soon clicked on that, if it was regularly getting swiped, 2 days before benefit day, then someone was in need - so we had a bit of a brainstorm about who might be "in need" and narrowed it down to 5 families in the local local vicinity

then we filled boxes, bit of this, bit of that, put a couple of meat packs on top and just knocked on their doors

"Hi, we've got a bit too much stuff to use at the moment, could you use some food?" and not only did we never get raided again, but we all got something out of it

interestingly our eldest lad was getting bullied a little at school and suddenly that ceased, which also helped narrow down who may have been in need of a bit of "pay it forward"

the thing is we simply would never have gotten any of that if we didn't "change something" and now we don't have a stall, we just drop off our spare veg, especially at this time of the year when any spare money goes into Christmas presents

Cast your bread upon the waters and in not many days it shall come back to you. How cryptically the ancients often wrote but it sounds like you have cracked it Pete.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Cast your bread upon the waters and in not many days it shall come back to you. How cryptically the ancients often wrote but it sounds like you have cracked it Pete.

I just wanted the kids to "get that" for themselves, how the simple acts of kindness can completely erode some things that don't need to be there

I had a feeling that his bullying possibly came from a bit of resentment that "we don't have enough but look at 'them'" and that can be disappeared very quickly

or, you can just keep on doing the same thing harder and get absolutely nowhere!!

 

[Christoph1945]

I imagine that many of us are reasonably familiar with the prayer of St Francis and I suppose that it could be viewed as being self centred but only yesterday the wife and I were disposing of some accumulated junk and documentation, when a small flier dropped onto the floor.

The flier was wrinkled and I was about to bin it, when I noticed the heading on the paper 'The Mary Sumner Prayer'.

All this day, oh Lord,let me touch as many lives as possible for thee; and every life I touch, do thou by thy spirit quicken whether through the words I speak, the prayer I breath, or the life I live!

The students and teachers of Kabballah teach that every event in our lives is an opportunity for us to either react to, or respond constructively to and if we choose the latter we will see change, growth, and light entering into our lives.

Pete, your honesty box and your constructive response would be used as an example to underscore the teachings of a great number of life teachers.

Thanks for the enlightenment Pete.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

The thing is, if you are taught that "you're a victim", then it ensures you have a miserable life with little possibility

and, school teaches you that every day you go there, so these two schoolboys were both reading from the same script

and, important part, they both believed they were right in being "the victim"

I like the "Just for this day, I will be kindness" approach because it removes your self from that victim state of mind, from that narrative about how life is hard, lets you see how easily things can be resolved.

Of course, it means letting go of stuff, that's the barrier in the way

 

[Wombat]

Well a while since I last posted, still feeling better just wish I could get over the irregular heart beat I get every few weeks. Doc thinks it’s just the stress of the last 18 months but having another cardiology checkup.

I think the hardest thing this last 20 months has been the lack of social interaction. Most of mine is through work and as I haven’t seen anyone from work since the first lockdown it gets a bit ground hog day somedays.

 

[Christoph1945]

The thing is, if you are taught that "you're a victim", then it ensures you have a miserable life with little possibility

and, school teaches you that every day you go there, so these two schoolboys were both reading from the same script

and, important part, they both believed they were right in being "the victim"

I like the "Just for this day, I will be kindness" approach because it removes your self from that victim state of mind, from that narrative about how life is hard, lets you see how easily things can be resolved.

Of course, it means letting go of stuff, that's the barrier in the way

Tis true, tis true, tis true but so often we have forgotten what it is that we are keeping hold of and like squirrels we have buried pain and suffering deep inside our memories. Love, compassion, and patience can help us uncover, unlock, and improve our understanding of what has been rattling our cages for all these years.

 

[Christoph1945]

Well a while since I last posted, still feeling better just wish I could get over the irregular heart beat I get every few weeks. Doc thinks it’s just the stress of the last 18 months but having another cardiology checkup.

I think the hardest thing this last 20 months has been the lack of social interaction. Most of mine is through work and as I haven’t seen anyone from work since the first lockdown it gets a bit ground hog day somedays.

Are you still angry at a situation?

I just love the movie 'Ground Hog Day'!

Pete's story of the honesty box situation depicts the breaking away from 'Ground Hog Day' beautifully'.

PS Don't forget Skype; a great way to break out of isolation.

 

[Christoph1945]

Skype.

What a great way of making face to face contact and sharing some thoughts, plans, and dreams. My wife and two close friends meet every Tuesday afternoon and just chat, converse, and chew the fat; they call them selves the Witches but I keep telling them that they have miss spelled it and it should be spelled with a 'B'!

No doubt this coming Tuesday they will spend considerable time talking about the six year old child that was effectively beaten to death by his guardians.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Tis true, tis true, tis true but so often we have forgotten what it is that we are keeping hold of and like squirrels we have buried pain and suffering deep inside our memories. Love, compassion, and patience can help us uncover, unlock, and improve our understanding of what has been rattling our cages for all these years.

It's all in there!

Ever tried the mental exercise of blocking a nostril and breathing in light, love, and blowing out the anger, fear, stress out the other nostril

one of those little calming tricks like blowing on the back of your thumb that can sometimes help you rebalance after something bangs on your bars

 

[Foxcover]

Anybody on here use Tramadol?
I take one every Friday night to help me get a deep sleep, what with aches and pains etc. A little fringe benefit I’ve noticed is it kind of resets any anxiety I have for a day or two, wake up feeling peaceful, warm and fuzzy

 

[Christoph1945]

It's all in there!

Ever tried the mental exercise of blocking a nostril and breathing in light, love, and blowing out the anger, fear, stress out the other nostril

one of those little calming tricks like blowing on the back of your thumb that can sometimes help you rebalance after something bangs on your bars

A bit like that mother's shush and the gentle patting of your back with the palm of her hand, when you were hurt and crying.

Or, maybe, a five breath exercise

Upon the intake of each breath we make a statement

1 I am calm
2 I am relaxed
3 I am peaceful
4 I am tranquil
5 I am complete

along with each statement one uses the tip of the thumb to touch the tip of each finger and the last statement gets the thumb's up. For those of a religious nature they can, perhaps, amend the last statement to 'I am complete in Him'.

2 I am peaceful

 

[Kiwi Pete]

yep the thumb - blowing thing does actually work, because of the blood vessels there, a bit like those desert animals with the big ears

random fact, if you blush, your tummy does too

 

[Christoph1945]

yep the thumb - blowing thing does actually work, because of the blood vessels there, a bit like those desert animals with the big ears

random fact, if you blush, your tummy does too

A bit like running your wrists under the cold water tap but far more convenient.