Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[ollie989898]

Unfortunately nobody knows what is going on in anybody else's head other than that person. Now I know I'm not the most eloquent at putting things across so please don't shoot me down. I'm maybe fortunate as as far as I'm concerned I'm not a sufferer in parts I don't belive in clinical depression. People ask me do you not get depression and all I can answer is I don't know. Yes I have sh!t days but hopefully tomorrow will be a better one. The few people that I know of that have taken their own ending aren't the quiet subdued ones but seem to be those that appear to have a bold outgoing persona and at what appears alot to be grateful for. I do know some folk that also appear a bit unstable and always listen if and that is the problem if they want to talk. As I say hope this offends nobody and my heart felt condolences go out to this lads family and anyone of you that had to endure the same. I am always hear for anyone if the need arise as I think a complete stranger can be easier to communicate with. Take care one and all

Clinical depression is a very broad Church indeed and I fully believe that basically all of us at one time or another in our lives will experience it. Some will bounce back and come out the other side, others have repeat dips into the darkness, others stay there for very long periods of time. I think the modern world makes building our own resilience a lot harder in some ways. There is less sense of family and community in the UK today.

 

[colhonk]

Trouble is, we have the most ways ever to communicate,,but, people don`t talk to each other now.

 

[workin f nowt]

Clinical depression is a very broad Church indeed and I fully believe that basically all of us at one time or another in our lives will experience it. Some will bounce back and come out the other side, others have repeat dips into the darkness, others stay there for very long periods of time. I think the modern world makes building our own resilience a lot harder in some ways. There is less sense of family and community in the UK today.

Obviously I'm no medic never pretend to be lmao just a simple farmer but still work on the basis of nobody knows me better than I do. I do think family play a big part. I come from a large family as in aunts uncles and cousins but as we've all gotten older we drift in our own family pool so to speak but always there. At times you'd want to kill em but that's family but they're there when you need em. Kick any one of us and we all jump

 

[Christoph1945]

Had a shock yesterday!, talking to the young lass up the lane here. She told me a lad who was chairman of Louth YFC had been found earlier in the day hung from a tree. I did not know him, but I am told very active, very likeable, has literally last week been taking a tractor around various schools around Louth talking about farming. I rang our County NFU chair, who knew within minutes of it happening, they have no idea why at this stage.
WB

Many years ago, my young nephew walked out and hung himself on a building site at night. One of Dad's sisters topped herself when I was but a lad and Dad made several attempts over the years.

Each time I hear of folks clocking off early my heart sinks and
I wonder ......

'For feck's sake, why are we still losing so many?'

'What is it that we are not doing?'

'How can we descend into the darkness and bring a little light into the situations?'

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

Trouble is, we have the most ways ever to communicate,,but, people don`t talk to each other now.

So many people talk AT each other today instead of WITH each other

 

[workin f nowt]

Trouble is, we have the most ways ever to communicate,,but, people don`t talk to each other now.

Yeah you're right. Have an old fashioned outlook think I was born 60 so at 112 my outlook is old fashioned. Teatime we all sit down together and try n have a civil conversation with each other. We'll we did when kids were at school now either left home to start next chapter of there own or not in from work till 10ish I'm not going to wait til then for me tea

 

[Bury the Trash]

Yeah you're right. Have an old fashioned outlook think I was born 60 so at 112 my outlook is old fashioned. Teatime we all sit down together and try n have a civil conversation with each other. We'll we did when kids were at school now either left home to start next chapter of there own or not in from work till 10ish I'm not going to wait til then for me tea

I don't think your simplistic view point would encompass someone with a version of depression Bipolar, to mention one with a name, there are many other types and subtle variations as well.


not having fixed opinions/black and white assumptions on the subject / an open mind /is a necessary starting point .
Starting point because no one will know all the answers to mind problems .

 

[Holsteinfriesian90]

Trouble is, we have the most ways ever to communicate,,but, people don`t talk to each other now.

You’re so right. Everyone has Snapchat messenger WhatsApp instagram but everyone is so wrapped up in their phones that nobody has a proper conversation. It’s very sad.

 

[Christoph1945]

https:www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZaRzjyub8

 

[Christoph1945]

https:www.youtube.com/watch?v=wUZaRzjyub8

Remembering that the biblical day commences at sundown!

 

[GEMS]

 

[holywell farmer]

I only recently in last few weeks felt comfortable enough to talk about my near suicide attempt of 2017 I got myself into a bad time in that year I don't want to go into to much but please anyone having a bad time or situation that potentially makes feel like that please just talk to friend or relative.

 

[Wood field]

I only recently in last few weeks felt comfortable enough to talk about my near suicide attempt of 2017 I got myself into a bad time in that year I don't want to go into to much but please anyone having a bad time or situation that potentially makes feel like that please just talk to friend or relative.

It’s good you can talk about it , keep looking forward and best wishes

 

[holywell farmer]

I find in 2024 there so much pressure financially and personally, I myself am lucky to have regular employment and a loving family which keeps me going, seems everyone these days is in mad dash to get to the top which can put strain on people

 

[holywell farmer]

It’s good you can talk about it , keep looking forward and best wishes

Thanks

 

[delilah]

This was on the radio last night , just seen it first went out in 2022 so may have been shared on here before. A good listen.

https://www.bbc.co.uk/sounds/play/m00199y0

 

[DrWazzock]

Rabbit holes.
Metaphorical rabbit holes.
As first described by Lewis Carrol.
I try not to go down them nowadays.
As they lead nowhere and I just end up in a dark place in a kind of self perpetuating mental negative loop and can’t find my way out.
I am getting better at spotting them coming on.
They take several forms:
Ruminating over “if I only I’d done …..”
Ruminating over “what if this that or the other goes wrong.”
Wrongly thinking that stuff that offends me is done intentionally when it’s just random really.
Obsessing over stuff that doesn’t matter.

I now try to avoid going down rabbit holes and social media is full of them. Pointless arguments etc etc.

Note to self really.

 

[theboytheboy]

Rabbit holes.
Metaphorical rabbit holes.
As first described by Lewis Carrol.
I try not to go down them nowadays.
As they lead nowhere and I just end up in a dark place in a kind of self perpetuating mental negative loop and can’t find my way out.
I am getting better at spotting them coming on.
They take several forms:
Ruminating over “if I only I’d done …..”
Ruminating over “what if this that or the other goes wrong.”
Wrongly thinking that stuff that offends me is done intentionally when it’s just random really.
Obsessing over stuff that doesn’t matter.

I now try to avoid going down rabbit holes and social media is full of them. Pointless arguments etc etc.

Note to self really.

When you find the trick to not going down what you describe above please let me know.

Ruminating over “if I only I’d done …..”
Ruminating over “what if this that or the other goes wrong.”
Wrongly thinking that stuff that offends me is done intentionally when it’s just random really.
Obsessing over stuff that doesn’t matter.

This is my brain all the time!

 

[Christoph1945]

When you find the trick to not going down what you describe above please let me know.

Ruminating over “if I only I’d done …..”
Ruminating over “what if this that or the other goes wrong.”
Wrongly thinking that stuff that offends me is done intentionally when it’s just random really.
Obsessing over stuff that doesn’t matter.

This is my brain all the time!

That's an interesting post brother. Much of what is presently being posted appears in my day-to-day activities but I was lucky to discover, many years ago, that the magnification of such things is influenced by my diet.

Caffeine, alcohol, gluten, and some additives all increase my sensitivity to everyday life events and it is much easier if I avoid them.

Try keeping a diet diary and just see how many trigger points occur in your day-to-day negotiations with life.

Don't take my word for it, just give it a try.

 

[DrWazzock]

That's an interesting post brother. Much of what is presently being posted appears in my day-to-day activities but I was lucky to discover, many years ago, that the magnification of such things is influenced by my diet.

Caffeine, alcohol, gluten, and some additives all increase my sensitivity to everyday life events and it is much easier if I avoid them.

Try keeping a diet diary and just see how many trigger points occur in your day-to-day negotiations with life.

Don't take my word for it, just give it a try.

Very much so. Alcohol is like borrowing from the happiness bank and for me it has to be paid back with interest the next day with an awful low.

When you find the trick to not going down what you describe above please let me know.

Ruminating over “if I only I’d done …..”
Ruminating over “what if this that or the other goes wrong.”
Wrongly thinking that stuff that offends me is done intentionally when it’s just random really.
Obsessing over stuff that doesn’t matter.

This is my brain all the time!

I think the trick is recognise you are getting near a rabbit hole, recognise it for what it is, and just don’t get started in those negative unhelpful thought processes. Try to distract yourself by doing something else.
Rabbit holes come in many forms:
For me too much unnecessary old machinery imposed a daily psychological load of “ look at all that old junk that I haven’t got time to repair.” Solution: sell what isn’t essential and concentrate on keeping fewer machines in better condition. Brings it back to a manageable enjoyable job rather than overwhelming chore.
Then there’s the wife’s illness. Another possible rabbit hole. So let’s not go down the route of what ifs, if onlys and why us and what the heck is going to happen? Let’s avoid getting stuck in those negative downward spirals and take it a day at a time enjoying the present moment.
I’ve even fairly successfully rationalised my old neurosis about noise nuisances from motorbikes on the road, gas bangers etc. I tell myself “Just don’t get started on that old chestnut again.” Nobody is doing it to pee me off, they are having day out enjoying their hobby or protecting their crops.
The thing is though to nip a negative thought process in the bud before it “takes root” otherwise it takes over your thought processes to the exclusion of all else and is a very difficult loop to break out of. I think that’s something to do with neural paths in our brain “burning in” if we keep reinforcing them by constantly going over and over negative thoughts.
So don’t even think of going down that rabbit hole. Go past it. Think of or do something else. Anything but that effing old rabbit hole again. Recognise and avoid.