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Discussion in 'Manflu Corner' started by JCMaloney, Nov 20, 2018.
Sorry to hear that. Anything we can do to help.?
Thank you for your comment its good to see a reply
but no not sure what I need to help me along all the answers are available it’s just getting my head around things and confidence to crack on as to say
What are the things that are getting the best of you?
Look after yourself and hope you feel a bit more positive soon.
PM if you need a chat.
Getting up in a morning
Concentrating on anything from the tv to just about most things
enjoyment of the job seams to have left and ambition has gone in the last 3 months
I hate having to go more than 10 miles anywhere and generally feel like crap with aches and pains every day
I know it’s depression full blown as I have suffered since 1999 and generally come round each time done all the therapy coaching etc over the years but It’s not a cure just a way to cope I just hate feeling like this
All I can say is that I feel better now for avoiding taking on any more ventures that are either absurdly difficult or offer marginal profit for a lot of work and messing about.
This might sound like defeatism in some ways but actually it's realism. I had thought about buying some "cheap" stores but if I do that I am due an immediate TB test as I'm in a TB1 radial and if I get a positive not only do I shut myself down but also have a bad impact on my breeder neighbours so I'll give that one a miss this year thanks very much and sell the forage for which there seems to be plenty of local demand.
I have also decided not to buy a new baler and run my bank account down to "sleepless nights" level where I have to watch every penny. The existing machine will do.
After a difficult year, with dad passing away after nursing him for three months, a drought and the bank closing our account and having to find a new one I am going to have a winter of pottering and tidying and getting ready for lambing time and next year generally, sticking to jobs that I enjoy and turn a reasonable profit.
I am also paying less attention to the news and all the constant bickering about Brexit etc which really is soul destroying to behold.
I am having the next month in "power saving mode". I'll be doing what I have to do, and catching up on some rainy day jobs but won't be taking anything new on.
Best Regards All and hope you find some respite however that may be. I don't think there is a perfect solution, but for me sitting back from it all helps and not feeling guilty about taking it steady.
If you have had help in the past go back and tell them how you feel, be it GP or whoever.
The thing not to do is keep plodding on like a donkey and taking on more burdens.
We all have a tipping point and then you make bad choices.
Even if its just picking up a phone and "unloading" on someone it lightens the load.
Once the blinkers are off life seems lighter & happier.
That all sounds eminently sensible to me, have fun!
Lists. What is it about lists I dislike immensely? It’s probably that I never get to the bottom because of new items that have a higher priority. Mrs likes lists but they are easy, things such as light bulb in the kitchen or pick up dog shite (quite therapeutic surprisingly).
My lists just end up being a depressing weight on the shoulders that hides in the corner of the kitchen glaring at me every time I make a cup of tea.
Lists are not for me.
The key to lists is realism!
I have daily lists that are achievable and longer term lists that i know are cyclic, things get ticked off the top and new things go on. Just a good reference.
I love lists. Gives us a sense of achievement when crossing things off. I have a long term list and often a short term daily list.
It also helps me actually remember what I’m supposed to be doing . My short term memory loss is getting a bit worrying .
Wait, are you me?
Well done guys, seems I need a list for the list so I can get it right
I like a list...... Well think I do....... Have to write them as my memory is getting so bad. I've had depression from a young age. Probably heading to 25+ years of it now (I'm 32). Have been seeing the counselor for 4 months now. Got another 3+ months on this particular session. It's helped understand where it stems from but day to day stresses and lack of energy or motivation mean I don't personally feel like I'm getting anywhere close to overcoming it. Think the winter has a massive part to play. Last Christmas was my worst period in a long time.
I've thought about ending life in the past, can't now as have two children and its not fair on them, although, if anything were to happen to them and my wife, I couldn't guarantee anything. Not quite sure talking actually helps. It's interesting seeing how many other people suffer and how they react to it.......
Am I reading this right; are you saying you had depression at age 7?
This is what I'm led to believe. Family members always said I was depressed growing up. Counselor thinks it's true due to circumstances. It was just life, never knew any different. Looking back..... Maybe they were right.
That’s grim indeed. Ive suffered several episodes of severe depression (in one now) and I guess, looking back, I’ve always been a troubled soul. However, I do recall age 7 as being quite a good time, certainly in comparison to teenage years. Unfortunately, I feel I’m one of nature’s mistakes, and totally unsuited to life.
I've always thought I was different to everyone else. Never really fitted in any where. Never had proper friends. Still don't to be fair. Would rather live life on my terms. Don't think I've ever had severe depression. Been in the place where ending it all was a good idea, but to me that's "normal", just life, plod on, it'll pass at some point.
Actually, writing this does seem a tad dark.......
Well, to be fair I reckon being suicidal certainly qualifies as ‘severe’, and it’s not a good place to be.
I’m off to bed- my escape time.