things that make you smile

[JWL]

I was browsing an instruction manual for a loader after the usual don't drink the battery acid or stick your hand in the fan got to the driving instructions it said to turn left turn the steering wheel anti-clockwise and to turn right clock-wise

What is getting sad is the increasing amount of people who don't know which way clockwise/anti-clockwise goes! Just put it down to digital clocks with only numbers, no hands or face. There's quite a few who couldn't tell you the time on a 24hr format such as getting 7pm and 1700hrs mixed up.
Don't start me on port and starboard!

 

[Daddy Pig]

My daughters first ewe Lambed today.

 

[Wombat]

My 11 yr old has retired upstairs to watch Kelly’s heroes

 

[bumkin]

Our Collie Ted lives in a kennel in a stable - which he shares with our one remaining chicken . View attachment 952040

We used to have an Arab stallion and a Muscovy duck used to have a nest in his manger and the horse used to eat the eggs

 

[grainboy]

Watch out Jp
COVID police will be around later !!

 

[Oat]

Watch out Jp
COVID police will be around later !!

I am guessing the original post has been deleted, however, it still appeared in my email inbox. I have notified the local covid bobby

 

[grainboy]

Lol
Think Jp took offence at my tongue in cheek comment, but there again he did posts a photo of a Covid breach of the rules,

 

[Pushdyke]

Driving down the lane this morning came across a fella in orange overalls wandering around, little van parked in a gateway. I stopped he came over. I shouldn't be here he said, were should you be i asked, don't know the sat nav sent me here I'm driving a digger doing some work for the environment agency.
Asked him when he last saw it, was driving it on Friday he said.
Poor fella was completely lost he had no idea where he was or where he was supposed to be.
Lucky for for him I'd seen a digger on Sunday not far from the road about two miles away, gave him directions as he thought it sounded like his digger.
Had a bit of a chuckle today wondering how many people forget we're there working over a weekend.

 

[JWL]

This only makes me smile as it is so pathetic in this age of conservation of resources. A pair of wiper blades for the other half's motor from Amazon........

 

[Gong Farmer]

Comes with free bogroll, don't knock it.

 

[Pan mixer]

Orphan lambs taken over the dog basket.

 

[JWL]

Comes with free bogroll, don't knock it.

Thought about using the paper before I sent it back as the eejits had sent the wrong ones

 

[Danllan]

I'm pleased to report proof that at least one of my boys has the makings of being a truly deep thinker since, in between mouthfuls of his cereal, he has just asked me: 'How can we know what snot smells like?'

Which, if you really think about it, is not as easy a question to answer as may at first seem to be the case...

 

[Gong Farmer]

Wife pulled up in the supermarket car park and her phone rang. It was daughter, at home with her two boys. Noisy car park so wife clamps phone to her ear and asks if they need any shopping. The only response she got was 'Nanny, we can only see your ear' and 'Mum, we can only see the side of your face!'
She didn't realise it was one of those video calls.

 

[Pan mixer]

Question from someone who should have known better.

"do you think that they are identical twin calves?"

 

[onthehoof]

 

[yellowbelly]

Sould I buy a lottery ticket .....

A lot of our grazing is watered by IBC fed troughs, which at the moment seem to need filing as often as high summer.....

First load of the day, the old Honda pump needs priming. You have to take the plug out of the top to see when it's full.....

........I usually sit it on the fuel tank while I do it. For some reason I must have got distracted and forgot to replace it
Got to the first field - about half a mile by road and then as far again across two fields and realised I hadn't put it back

Imagine my delight when I spotted that it had managed to ride all the way there lodged between the fuel tank and the pump

 

[Pan mixer]

Sould I buy a lottery ticket .....

A lot of our grazing is watered by IBC fed troughs, which at the moment seem to need filing as often as high summer.....
View attachment 954847
First load of the day, the old Honda pump needs priming. You have to take the plug out of the top to see when it's full.....
View attachment 954848
........I usually sit it on the fuel tank while I do it. For some reason I must have got distracted and forgot to replace it
Got to the first field - about half a mile by road and then as far again across two fields and realised I hadn't put it back

Imagine my delight when I spotted that it had managed to ride all the way there lodged between the fuel tank and the pump
View attachment 954849

I lost my identical one on a clean concrete pad and never found it at all - it may be that one dropped on your pump by magpies or something

My pump like that self primes I think, I rarely take the bung out except to lose it. Maybe because I leave it full of water.

 

[Aspiring Peasants]

My new ostrich sheep

 

[Jerry]