what grinds your gears

[roscoe erf]

He wasn't until you waffled on

pot black kettle springs to mind

 

[Alicecow]

When you try and talk to some people all they keep saying is “I know”, but they do not f...ing know,my sister is a good example!!!

There was a Fawlty Towers scene like that with Sybil on the phone to her friend and Basil overlistening!

 

[mixed breed]

There was a Fawlty Towers scene like that with Sybil on the phone to her friend and Basil overlistening!

Sybil, ohh i knnooooowwwww.
Basil, "what she telling you for then?"

 

[Alicecow]

Sybil, ohh i knnooooowwwww.
Basil, "what she telling you for then?"

That's the one

 

[ARW]

Tea is always ready when crappy emmerdale is on. People who find this entertaining really need to expand there minds

 

[smcapstick]

Tea is always ready when crappy emmerdale is on. People who find this entertaining really need to expand there minds

Change channel?

 

[roscoe erf]

Change channel?

Is this what they mean by TV dinner

 

[phillipe]

Tea is always ready when crappy emmerdale is on. People who find this entertaining really need to expand there minds

You could always turn it off

 

[Ley253]

Change channel?

No, off button!

 

[smcapstick]

When a customer brings an 'expert' that knows every dirty trick in the filthy, rotten, cheating book:

1) Don't give the cold engine any heat.
2) When turning the engine over and it's just about to start, let go of the ignition key so the engine splutters to a stop. Repeat three times.
3) Frown and exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Mr. 'Expert' then gets removed from the tractor... where I climb aboard and start it immediately, having followed the manufacturer's starting instructions that are displayed on a sodding sticker on the sodding windscreen].

4) When the tractor is running, climb back in to the tractor and only push the clutch pedal down half way to get maximum gear grinding noise.
5) Frown again, then exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have it pointed out that the clutch must be fully engaged to select gears, which it is demonstrated immediately].

6) Frantically push the linkage raise & lower buttons whilst watching the linkage remain stationary because you have not switched the linkage control on (with the toggle switch), then frown, exclaiming loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have correct linkage operation shown by me, at which point all is found to be working correctly].




Now, all of that would be fine... if the customer had not been present, too. Even when an imagined fault is proven to be working correctly, the seed of doubt gets planted. That is very annoying!

I need a drink.

 

[Kevtherev]

When a customer brings an 'expert' that knows every dirty trick in the filthy, rotten, cheating book:

1) Don't give the cold engine any heat.
2) When turning the engine over and it's just about to start, let go of the ignition key so the engine splutters to a stop. Repeat three times.
3) Frown and exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Mr. 'Expert' then gets removed from the tractor... where I climb aboard and start it immediately, having followed the manufacturer's starting instructions that are displayed on a sodding sticker on the sodding windscreen].

4) When the tractor is running, climb back in to the tractor and only push the clutch pedal down half way to get maximum gear grinding noise.
5) Frown again, then exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have it pointed out that the clutch must be fully engaged to select gears, which it is demonstrated immediately].

6) Frantically push the linkage raise & lower buttons whilst watching the linkage remain stationary because you have not switched the linkage control on (with the toggle switch), then frown, exclaiming loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have correct linkage operation shown by me, at which point all is found to be working correctly].




Now, all of that would be fine... if the customer had not been present, too. Even when an imagined fault is proven to be working correctly, the seed of doubt gets planted. That is very annoying!

I need a drink.

The solution is to introduce them to Wilson

 

[smcapstick]

The solution is to introduce them to Wilson
View attachment 622502

I am saddened, ashamed and thoroughly embarrassed to admit that I don't own a cricket bat

I don't qualify as and Englishman

 

[Kevtherev]

Get one [emoji123]

 

[phillipe]

When a customer brings an 'expert' that knows every dirty trick in the filthy, rotten, cheating book:

1) Don't give the cold engine any heat.
2) When turning the engine over and it's just about to start, let go of the ignition key so the engine splutters to a stop. Repeat three times.
3) Frown and exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Mr. 'Expert' then gets removed from the tractor... where I climb aboard and start it immediately, having followed the manufacturer's starting instructions that are displayed on a sodding sticker on the sodding windscreen].

4) When the tractor is running, climb back in to the tractor and only push the clutch pedal down half way to get maximum gear grinding noise.
5) Frown again, then exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have it pointed out that the clutch must be fully engaged to select gears, which it is demonstrated immediately].

6) Frantically push the linkage raise & lower buttons whilst watching the linkage remain stationary because you have not switched the linkage control on (with the toggle switch), then frown, exclaiming loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have correct linkage operation shown by me, at which point all is found to be working correctly].




Now, all of that would be fine... if the customer had not been present, too. Even when an imagined fault is proven to be working correctly, the seed of doubt gets planted. That is very annoying!

I need a drink.

I have had that experience recently selling a car,expert my arse ,try all the shite,so they started to haggle ,I said sorry not selling it to you ,you will never be happy ,shut the door in them .sold the car next day to someone else

 

[Ley253]

When a customer brings an 'expert' that knows every dirty trick in the filthy, rotten, cheating book:

1) Don't give the cold engine any heat.
2) When turning the engine over and it's just about to start, let go of the ignition key so the engine splutters to a stop. Repeat three times.
3) Frown and exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Mr. 'Expert' then gets removed from the tractor... where I climb aboard and start it immediately, having followed the manufacturer's starting instructions that are displayed on a sodding sticker on the sodding windscreen].

4) When the tractor is running, climb back in to the tractor and only push the clutch pedal down half way to get maximum gear grinding noise.
5) Frown again, then exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have it pointed out that the clutch must be fully engaged to select gears, which it is demonstrated immediately].

6) Frantically push the linkage raise & lower buttons whilst watching the linkage remain stationary because you have not switched the linkage control on (with the toggle switch), then frown, exclaiming loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have correct linkage operation shown by me, at which point all is found to be working correctly].




Now, all of that would be fine... if the customer had not been present, too. Even when an imagined fault is proven to be working correctly, the seed of doubt gets planted. That is very annoying!

I need a drink.

About a gallon should do!

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

When a customer brings an 'expert' that knows every dirty trick in the filthy, rotten, cheating book:

1) Don't give the cold engine any heat.
2) When turning the engine over and it's just about to start, let go of the ignition key so the engine splutters to a stop. Repeat three times.
3) Frown and exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Mr. 'Expert' then gets removed from the tractor... where I climb aboard and start it immediately, having followed the manufacturer's starting instructions that are displayed on a sodding sticker on the sodding windscreen].

4) When the tractor is running, climb back in to the tractor and only push the clutch pedal down half way to get maximum gear grinding noise.
5) Frown again, then exclaim loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have it pointed out that the clutch must be fully engaged to select gears, which it is demonstrated immediately].

6) Frantically push the linkage raise & lower buttons whilst watching the linkage remain stationary because you have not switched the linkage control on (with the toggle switch), then frown, exclaiming loudly "Hmm, it shouldn't do that?".

[Have correct linkage operation shown by me, at which point all is found to be working correctly].




Now, all of that would be fine... if the customer had not been present, too. Even when an imagined fault is proven to be working correctly, the seed of doubt gets planted. That is very annoying!

I need a drink.

Did you not think to ask him loudly whether he had ever actually driven one of those before, or even read the manual, thereby exposing him

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

I have had that experience recently selling a car,expert my arse ,try all the shite,so they started to haggle ,I said sorry not selling it to you ,you will never be happy ,shut the door in them .sold the car next day to someone else

And invoice the "expert" for the gearbox damage done

 

[llamedos]

Peeling butternut squash! It's almost as frustrating as trying to get a calf to sook when it's took the pet
If anyone has any tips ( peeling, not calves ) please post here!

Top-tail - stab-microwave 3 mins and peel like a spud with a peeler.

 

[bumkin]

people that dont respect other peoples property, first the hunt when they are told no you can't come across the farm what isn't winter corn is in-lamb ewes and its too wet , you can go through the woods but not the farmed land they ride across the winter wheat and the hounds through the in lamb ewes 4x4s across the stubble field up to their axles when the hunts man is approached by my son on the track around the field the followers started to ride past in the winter barleywhat angers me and saddens me is i am a country man and enjoy country sports and they leave me no option but to ban the bloody lot of them

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

people that dont respect other peoples property, first the hunt when they are told no you can't come across the farm what isn't winter corn is in-lamb ewes and its too wet , you can go through the woods but not the farmed land they ride across the winter wheat and the hounds through the in lamb ewes 4x4s across the stubble field up to their axles when the hunts man is approached by my son on the track around the field the followers started to ride past in the winter barleywhat angers me and saddens me is i am a country man and enjoy country sports and they leave me no option but to ban the bloody lot of them

The Enfield Chase were banned from here 50 years ago for similar reasons