Alcohol

[Spud]

There's next to to nutrition in that rubbish

Exactly, gut rotting kelter

 

[ollie989898]

As I believe I've written before, of all the things that can happen to a person, alcohol scares the life out of me.

 

[Chae1]

This point has stuck in my mind since you made it and it made me concerned.
I'm no health guru, but a lot of professionals call Dementia type 3 diabetes, and stronger links are being made between sugar and cancers all the time.

A lot of the alarms raised about fats over recent decades has been pushed by sweet and chocolate manufacturers to distract from the health problems caused by sugar.

I'm off it at the moment.

Porridge and pumpkin seeds.

Do feel better for It

 

[Chae1]

Exactly, gut rotting kelter

We'd a guy the same with sugar and caffeine messed with his mind.

High as a kite or flat and sad.

Phoned some mornings and said he wasn't coming to work cause he was anxious.

I'm permanently anxious. Wondering wtf next.

 

[som farmer]

had a young couple in a mobile, he was working p/t for us.

got to a stage where he, and his partner, were high on canapiss, they stank of it, as did the mobile, with a toddler, and a baby in there.

we had no option but to 'let him go', got to dangerous to keep him, l just feel sorry for the kids.

l gave up alcohol a few years back, seriously didn't agree with some medicine l needed to take, def drunk to much, but not a to dangerous amount.

pint of shandy if out, home, shandy for occaisional use. One can cider, and a glass of port, really is the max, if out at a do/ shoot meal etc.

feel better for it, but nowhere near how much better my wallet feels.

gave up smoking, near 50 yrs ago, overnight, twice, got completely ratted on old peculiar at college one night, and restarted, so had to stop again, that wallet is a big help on these things, used to put what l would have spent, on fags, in a jar, on the mantle piece, scary how quickly it mounted up.

 

[Netherfield]

had a young couple in a mobile, he was working p/t for us.

got to a stage where he, and his partner, were high on canapiss, they stank of it, as did the mobile, with a toddler, and a baby in there.

we had no option but to 'let him go', got to dangerous to keep him, l just feel sorry for the kids.

l gave up alcohol a few years back, seriously didn't agree with some medicine l needed to take, def drunk to much, but not a to dangerous amount.

pint of shandy if out, home, shandy for occaisional use. One can cider, and a glass of port, really is the max, if out at a do/ shoot meal etc.

feel better for it, but nowhere near how much better my wallet feels.

gave up smoking, near 50 yrs ago, overnight, twice, got completely ratted on old peculiar at college one night, and restarted, so had to stop again, that wallet is a big help on these things, used to put what l would have spent, on fags, in a jar, on the mantle piece, scary how quickly it mounted up.

Not hard to get ratted on OP though, we once spent a weekend in Masham, pre the Black Sheep being there, so every boozer was owned by or selling Theakstons.

 

[M-J-G]

As I believe I've written before, of all the things that can happen to a person, alcohol scares the life out of me.

It's probably the most dangerous because 90 odd percent of people who partake do so casually and aren't addicted, unlike smoking or heroine where most (probably 90 odd percent) people who partake are addicted, leading alcohol to carry a less scary reputation.

The disposition of those who easily get hooked scares me more than any of the actual substances.

 

[ollie989898]

It's probably the most dangerous because 90 odd percent of people who partake do so casually and aren't addicted, unlike smoking or heroine where most (probably 90 odd percent) people who partake are addicted, leading alcohol to carry a less scary reputation.

The disposition of those who easily get hooked scares me more than any of the actual substances.

It's not the availability of it nor the threat of becoming addicted. It's the consequences of becoming dependant upon it that scare me. Hell of a way to die, I know that much. Drugs or alcohol can fudge your health even if you aren't actually addicted to them.

 

[M-J-G]

It's not the availability of it nor the threat of becoming addicted. It's the consequences of becoming dependant upon it that scare me. Hell of a way to die, I know that much. Drugs or alcohol can fudge your health even if you aren't actually addicted to them.

At least the person that's destroyed with alcohol mostly just hurts themselves, the crime rings associated with hard drugs tend to have a implications for a larger circle of individuals.

I'm not sure I'd like to pin point which is the worst.

 

[som farmer]

l don't think there's a big difference between them, a serious alcoholic, will lie and steal, to buy booze, as will a junkie.

where there is a difference, is in how they buy it, booze at a shop, or stolen

drugs, there's an evil distribution net work, example county lines. They take control of your mind and body, you become a dealer, you have to sell more and more, to pay for your habit, you are lucky to get out of it, beaten up, many just disappear, the others know though.

son had a partner, who had to deal with these poor sods, just trying to get them safely out of the system, most were either to dependant, or terrified to get out, beatings and murder, were rife.
very very few got out.

she described it as one of the most evil things out there, and run, so as no one would leave, to terrified to leave. Awful.

 

[holywell farmer]

Sadly on here some make fun of people with problems with alcohol but say support lots mental health charities

 

[ollie989898]

Sadly on here some make fun of people with problems with alcohol but say support lots mental health charities

Nobody is making fun of alcoholism here.

 

[holywell farmer]

Nobody is making fun of alcoholism here.

Not on this thread but some on the forum are bullies making people life a miserable experience

 

[holywell farmer]

Nobody is making fun of alcoholism here.

There are people crying out for your help,,,,,,

 

[holywell farmer]

I’m not sure if this is the right part of forum to post, or even if it’s really the right forum, but I think it’s a problem that many have experience of, either directly or indirectly, and the depth of knowledge/life experience on TFF rarely lets you down.

We have a relation who is an alcoholic. He won’t admit it. Has been staying with various family members over the past 5 months as he currently has no fixed abode since becoming a widower. Any cash he had seems to have been spunked up the wall on wine and maintaining an image of an affluent businessman (nice meals out, good wine, he booked into a fecking pub for 2 weeks after his wife passed).

Each of the relatives he’s stayed with have helped him with different aspects of his struggles, this wasn’t planned, but rather happened naturally. When he was here, the focus was on his admin, which he just wasn’t doing and had numerous parking fines/unpaid bills/general life admin all stacking up. He left with some resolved and action points on others. We didn’t really address the drinking as we perhaps should have, but he was still grieving the loss of his wife, so it was all a bit softly softly and anyway it was just a bit of nice wine, from a nice bottle drank in a nice glass, all very acceptable isn’t it?… Another family member focussed on his finances and his sister then hit the drinking head on over the past 6 weeks and she seemed to have gotten through.

He seemed to be turning a corner, although I/we were quite skeptical at his claims to have given up drinking completely (“just a couple of pints a week”). But anyway, that’s what he said. He returned to the town where he previously lived yesterday to see his doctor and catch up with some family. Phone-call last night from a relative to say that they’d called him at 6pm and he was totally incoherent, pee'd as a fart, been on the booze hard since lunchtime. He’d gone and booked back into the pub/restaurant where he’d previously stayed and got straight back on the drink. Presumably spending the cash accumulated whilst staying with family.

Now that’s his choice, he’s 70, he’s his own man. However, this has hit a less skeptical relative quite hard given the effort, time and resources that have been swallowed up helping over the past months. My wife is the same, feelings of betrayal, lack of trust, disappointment, anger, helplessness for the situation. And these feelings have an impact far beyond the actions of the individual involved, impacting indirectly on the home lives and to an extent the working lives of others.

My knee jerk reaction is one of anger, and I feel that the softly softly support hasn’t worked. He’s like a teenager sneaking about with bottles of hooch, or a 5yr old stealing biscuits. I want to bollock him severely about this, it feels like nothing else will get through this fug of booze, he’s too arrogant to admit the problem, won’t listen to his children/sister so is a brutal shouting from an indirect relation going to have any effect? I dunno, quite possibly have a negative effect but I don’t think it could make things worse. But that’s where we are, feeling of desperation, silly ideas discussed like spiking his wine with laxatives. We know people who have had hypnotherapy to help quite smoking, but he’s not interested in even having that conversation, it’s like wine/alcohol is the only thing left to him that matters.

I don’t like the term stakeholders, but alcoholism isn’t all about the alcoholic, it perhaps impacts the other (emotional) stakeholders more as they are coherent and aware of the repercussions/long term effects over which they have absolutely no control, yet expend vast amounts of physical and emotion effort trying to address.

So there’s two choices:

1. Keep trying, but ultimately watch a loved one destroy their mind, body and future, despite/in spite of the best efforts of all involved.

2. A lot easier said than done, and I don’t think realistic - Just walk away, leave him to it and await the inevitable call.

Is there an option 3 and 4??

What to do??

Don't ask ádvice on here full of bullies and hypocrites

 

[Lowland1]

l don't think there's a big difference between them, a serious alcoholic, will lie and steal, to buy booze, as will a junkie.

where there is a difference, is in how they buy it, booze at a shop, or stolen

drugs, there's an evil distribution net work, example county lines. They take control of your mind and body, you become a dealer, you have to sell more and more, to pay for your habit, you are lucky to get out of it, beaten up, many just disappear, the others know though.

son had a partner, who had to deal with these poor sods, just trying to get them safely out of the system, most were either to dependant, or terrified to get out, beatings and murder, were rife.
very very few got out.

she described it as one of the most evil things out there, and run, so as no one would leave, to terrified to leave. Awful.

Listening to my kids I was amazed at how readily available hard drugs are. My son was showing me business cards that he'd been given whilst at University by dealers. Luckily neither of my kids seem interested but apparently they are everywhere.

 

[ollie989898]

Not on this thread but some on the forum are bullies making people life a miserable experience

You mean like the kind of folk who trawl across a forum making inexplicable reactions or replies to someone's posts constantly? Bullying like that you mean?

 

[M-J-G]

l don't think there's a big difference between them, a serious alcoholic, will lie and steal, to buy booze, as will a junkie.

where there is a difference, is in how they buy it, booze at a shop, or stolen

drugs, there's an evil distribution net work, example county lines. They take control of your mind and body, you become a dealer, you have to sell more and more, to pay for your habit, you are lucky to get out of it, beaten up, many just disappear, the others know though.

son had a partner, who had to deal with these poor sods, just trying to get them safely out of the system, most were either to dependant, or terrified to get out, beatings and murder, were rife.
very very few got out.

she described it as one of the most evil things out there, and run, so as no one would leave, to terrified to leave. Awful.

The associated network is what I am more concerned about, a junkie or a p1ss head is just an individual, the dealers and their minions are a bigger problem, and that's before you get to how people are forced to become addicted to drugs by criminal organisations in order to carry crimes like smuggling, thefts and prostitution.

 

[som farmer]

Listening to my kids I was amazed at how readily available hard drugs are. My son was showing me business cards that he'd been given whilst at University by dealers. Luckily neither of my kids seem interested but apparently they are everywhere.

shocking
kids leave home to go to college or uni, first time away from home, wanting to fit in, its just to easy to see, and some dealers are very good, at their evil trade, plying vulnerable youngsters.

l can't really see a solution, you cannot lock everyone up, problems out of control. Little point locking up small time dealers, they do it, to feed their habit.

did see a report on how much illegal drugs our police/customs had seized this year, expressed in £millions, and tonnes, huge amount. Made much difference ?

all one can hope, is we have made such a good job of bringing our kids up, so they know better.

the real drug barons, just shoot the bustards, end of.

 

[holywell farmer]

I never said this before but 2017 I very nearly took my own life my work that year was horrible and my personal life was In meltdown I drove to a bridge near the a55 and very nearly jumped over a barrier onto the road below, I wasn't in a great place that day, I come home sobbing to my parents that's how mental health can affect people