Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[DrWazzock]

On the subject of recurring nightmares I am always on a very high up crumbling rotten bridge and usually fall off eventually and hit the ground with a jolt which wakes me as I jolt the mattress and wakes the Mrs. I always have nightmares about Hartley Hare off Pipkins who terrified me as a child as I could not rationalise a hare that spoke and always took everything literally having had to learn illiteral things. Always seemed sinister and evil to me. Bonkers I know. Utterly bonkers but there we have it. I have screwed up my own life by irrationality and paranoia more than any worst enemy could do. Yet I have also had some occasional moments of excellence. Maybe not quite enough though.

 

[Christoph1945]

I have been struggling with depression nowadays, have been gone through sleep paralysis many times now, but still can't find the best solution to get over it. reflective essay writing helped me a lot with my ongoing regular assignments and essays and they are professional too.

Anything that you can share Jack?

 

[Christoph1945]

On the subject of recurring nightmares I am always on a very high up crumbling rotten bridge and usually fall off eventually and hit the ground with a jolt which wakes me as I jolt the mattress and wakes the Mrs. I always have nightmares about Hartley Hare off Pipkins who terrified me as a child as I could not rationalise a hare that spoke and always took everything literally having had to learn illiteral things. Always seemed sinister and evil to me. Bonkers I know. Utterly bonkers but there we have it. I have screwed up my own life by irrationality and paranoia more than any worst enemy could do. Yet I have also had some occasional moments of excellence. Maybe not quite enough though.

I recon that the best is probably yet to come Doc.

 

[DrWazzock]

I recon that the best is probably yet to come Doc.

Grandfather emigrated (to England) when he was 55 and built a derelict farm back up to full production. I'd like to do something like that, not necessarily farming though. I do feel like I have never really got started for one reason or another. Easier said than done though to press the reset button. We need a renaissance here on many levels. Maybe a renaissance in attitude as much as anything. Best wishes.

 

[Christoph1945]

Where was Grandfather from Doc?

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Speaking of dreams - does anyone on this thread not dream?
I had a recurring dream as a child, same rubbish dream on repeat for about a year?
Then they stopped, in 30 years I may have dreamt 10 or 12 times. It's like a switch turned off, maybe I block them out.
But sleep feels very brief as a result, I may fall asleep at 3am and suddenly I'm awake and the birds are chirping.
My wife says I don't even move, let alone roll over


Is that normal??

 

[Christoph1945]

Apparently, we all dream but we don't all remember them. Nightmares, of course, can be very memorable. I can still remember one nightmare that I had when I was about five years old, or a wee bit younger and it repeated it's self a second time.

On both occasions the nightmare had a skeleton rise up out of the ground and cut my father. I can also remember, about the same time, sitting on my fathers knee and fingering bandages on each of his wrists; not knowing that the bandages covered the wounds where he had slashed them in a suicide attempt. Five years of age was a time of a great many changes.........my younger brother was born and took my place at mother's knee, my older sister, who spoiled me rotten, married and left home with a baby of her own and an older brother who was my bedtime story teller left to join the navy and my oldest brother married and left home. Oh and to top it all off, I was cast out into a draconian schooling system, with no social skills.

It wasn't all bad, of course. By then dad had won the battle against the bedbugs, I was never bitten by any of the rats that used to visit the premises and the roaches could soon be assasinated with some DDT.

There were good time, of course.

 

[teslacoils]

Last night I drempt I was driving my little red car (which I don't really have but I often dream I'm in a red Mazda MX-5 ) into town and stopped to buy fishing tackle from a shop staffed by the father of a friend, and the former scout master. They complained their small fan heater left it too cold, but I informed them the open door was the problem.

I drove the car with my son in to uni, but my office was occupied so we knocked on the next door to find Carina from the Apprentice there with her daughter. Her child and mine talked about Pokémon while Carina told me she was studying to be a master map maker, and showed me some hand drawn maps. Then I lost my child, and outside it was an open day so people everywhere. In the end Carina drove by with both the children in the back, and said she was going to France if I wanted to come too. I woke up.

 

[Kiwi Pete]

Last night I drempt I was driving my little red car (which I don't really have but I often dream I'm in a red Mazda MX-5 ) into town and stopped to buy fishing tackle from a shop staffed by the father of a friend, and the former scout master. They complained their small fan heater left it too cold, but I informed them the open door was the problem.

I drove the car with my son in to uni, but my office was occupied so we knocked on the next door to find Carina from the Apprentice there with her daughter. Her child and mine talked about Pokémon while Carina told me she was studying to be a master map maker, and showed me some hand drawn maps. Then I lost my child, and outside it was an open day so people everywhere. In the end Carina drove by with both the children in the back, and said she was going to France if I wanted to come too. I woke up.

That's amazing, very similar to the type of "manageable panic" theme dream I used to have.

Sleep is boring without them; like a long blink is the only way I can describe dreamless sleep.

5 hours seemingly takes 5 minutes, hence why my mind is often like a fart in a jar?

 

[Turkish_FR]

If you dont have any anomalies in your blood test values and still having depression, you need tight family relations, tight friendships, aims for your life and ofcourse you need vacations. Tight family relations does not mean relations with your father mother kids but relations in a much wider manner. Partipicating in activities with your friends, short and long term aims to try to achieve, location changes, getting rid of any kind of routines.

 

[Greenbeast]

I urge anyone who feels depressed or has been diagnosed with depression or stress related issues to do some reading up on psilocybin.

Places to look: Some good youtube videos from respected individuals and educational institutions, more information from the current trials at ICL and Johns hopkins, communities on reddit.
Get in touch if you want more direction

 

[DrWazzock]

If you dont have any anomalies in your blood test values and still having depression, you need tight family relations, tight friendships, aims for your life and ofcourse you need vacations. Tight family relations does not mean relations with your father mother kids but relations in a much wider manner. Partipicating in activities with your friends, short and long term aims to try to achieve, location changes, getting rid of any kind of routines.

I understand the meaning of this advice and it is good, but it is slightly amusing that the word "tight" also means "very reluctant to spend money". In that respect I do indeed have many tight family relations!

 

[Turkish_FR]

I understand the meaning of this advice and it is good, but it is slightly amusing that the word "tight" also means "very reluctant to spend money". In that respect I do indeed have many tight family relations!

Yeah I see, being "tight" in that manner is also important for your mental health LoL. I said putting some aims to achieve but there is an important detail to take care. Being focused soo much on an aim is rising the stress level and affects mental health negative in long term, causing people not to enjoy today, causing them to ignore beauties in their life, causing them not to be thankful for what they have today. So aim it and forget it. Live our life as we already achieved the goal, try to feel the same things that we would live when we achieve it. This is called "law of gravity" by personal development experts. So in summary, keep away from anything that stresses us.

 

[Christoph1945]

So I should keep away from me Mrs then?????

 

[DrWazzock]

Yeah I see, being "tight" in that manner is also important for your mental health LoL. I said putting some aims to achieve but there is an important detail to take care. Being focused soo much on an aim is rising the stress level and affects mental health negative in long term, causing people not to enjoy today, causing them to ignore beauties in their life, causing them not to be thankful for what they have today. So aim it and forget it. Live our life as we already achieved the goal, try to feel the same things that we would live when we achieve it. This is called "law of gravity" by personal development experts. So in summary, keep away from anything that stresses us.

So I should keep away from me Mrs then?????

Sometimes we cannot avoid things that stress us. So what can we do? We can only do our best and take it one day at a time, calmly.

And yes, we should not become obsessed with narrow goals and targets but should look around us and appreciate what goodness there is.

The grass often looks greener in the next field but more often than not we just swap one problem for another.

 

[Christoph1945]

Practicing gratitude (appreciation) keeps us grounded and in the hear and now (present); we have so much to be grateful for.

 

[Turkish_FR]

Sometimes we cannot avoid things that stress us. So what can we do? We can only do our best and take it one day at a time, calmly.

And yes, we should not become obsessed with narrow goals and targets but should look around us and appreciate what goodness there is.

The grass often looks greener in the next field but more often than not we just swap one problem for another.

Getting stresses is directly related with our perspective on life, some persons be happy while some other be sad under the same conditions, just because they have different perspectives. We cannot change most of the things in life according to our wishes but we can change our perspective. I can see why people have different perspectives, every single person has different experiences in their life and different informations in their mind, their thoughts are formed based on the "different" info they have, different info = different perspectives. So we should feed our brain with positive info and let it to create positive perspectives for us based on these informations and based on many different algorithms of these informations.

 

[DrWazzock]

Getting stresses is directly related with our perspective on life, some persons be happy while some other be sad under the same conditions, just because they have different perspectives. We cannot change most of the things in life according to our wishes but we can change our perspective. I can see why people have different perspectives, every single person has different experiences in their life and different informations in their mind, their thoughts are formed based on the "different" info they have, different info = different perspectives. So we should feed our brain with positive info and let it to create positive perspectives for us based on these informations and based on many different algorithms of these informations.

That is true up to a point.

At the moment I feel stressed because there is too much water in my fields and it is very difficult to harvest the sugar beet. Also, because it is so wet, the beet is not clean when it comes out of the ground so I have had to buy another machine to clean the beet and spend a lot of time and money getting it to work properly. The field is so wet that I do not know if I can harvest all of the beet before the frost destroys it. I am working a lot of hours to clean the drains as well and to keep the machinery running.

We try to be cheerful and in some ways it is good to have a challenge but the extra work is making us tired. We worry that if we cannot harvest the beet, we will have no money and lose our business and our house.

To solve these problems we work and work and work. We have to think of solutions if we are to save our business. We cannot afford to say "never mind" or just leave it.

We have been in these situations many times before and other people have much bigger problems but we always wonder if one day we will not find a solution and our business will crash. And we wonder if it is worth the effort.

But that's farming and relying on the weather, so I don't expect any sympathy.

Time, weather and bank managers wait for no man.

 

[DrWazzock]

So what was I trying to say? Well yes it helps to have the right perspective and the right attitude and to keep calm and cheerful but one cannot help but feel some anxiety and this can in fact drive us forward and motivate us as long as we do not let it consume us.

The famous comedian Ken Dodd once told a joke about the bayeux tapestry. King Harald was there with the arrow in his eye. Ken asked " What were the people who were stood next to him saying?"
"Keep blinking H, it will work its way out."

 

[czechmate]

That is true up to a point.

At the moment I feel stressed because there is too much water in my fields and it is very difficult to harvest the sugar beet. Also, because it is so wet, the beet is not clean when it comes out of the ground so I have had to buy another machine to clean the beet and spend a lot of time and money getting it to work properly. The field is so wet that I do not know if I can harvest all of the beet before the frost destroys it. I am working a lot of hours to clean the drains as well and to keep the machinery running.

We try to be cheerful and in some ways it is good to have a challenge but the extra work is making us tired. We worry that if we cannot harvest the beet, we will have no money and lose our business and our house.

To solve these problems we work and work and work. We have to think of solutions if we are to save our business. We cannot afford to say "never mind" or just leave it.

We have been in these situations many times before and other people have much bigger problems but we always wonder if one day we will not find a solution and our business will crash. And we wonder if it is worth the effort.

But that's farming and relying on the weather, so I don't expect any sympathy.

Time, weather and bank managers wait for no man.

Rather than trying to repair/clean drains in waterlogged soil that falls in (I have the same to do to finish drilling) might it not be easier to hand pull the beet?