diary of a comedy sheep farm

yellowbelly · Sep 10, 2019

Hmmm, I see where you're coming from..................

............as I type this, this line in your post.......oh and the fat spaniel didn't get me today? .....has harvested you a total of ZERO 'likes'

Looks like we're only interested in your mishaps

spin cycle · Sep 11, 2019

boring but productive episode today

spk and chippies on site....spk held up a bit til first roof window was in......dude and i run outta things to do so we worm a few lambs.....dude then goes to help spk and i do some tagging.....first time out with new shearwell tagger + tags......FECKIN HELL

....it's like switching from a rusty bar (fearing) to a light sabre

.....i still have some fearing breeding pairs to use....i do some suffolk x ewe lambs and beltex x ram lambs double tag....rest on shearwell slaughter.....quick check...i've a suffolk x with two yellow breeding tags

after lunch roof is cracking on ,,..dude is keeping spk in tiles ...i'm organising more tiles to roof

....chippies get 4 outta 7 windows in

....they depart 4:30 pm....dude's up for more....so we cart a little straw

....get home 6:30pm.....i've missed a school meeting

......mrs spin has gone....reports later

cinders 'ear bashes' me about phones....she's been through 3 in a year

....a selection of broken phones is presented

......i don't understand phones or want to

her highness developed a soft spot for a screwy lamb...it died.....she rescued a hedgehog...it died....i've told her to keep away from animals

delilah · Sep 11, 2019

spin cycle said:
first time out with new shearwell tagger + tags......FECKIN HELL....it's like switching from a rusty bar (fearing) to a light sabre

handy tip I learnt on here.....if the shearwell tags wont go through the ear in hot weather, it's not you, it's the plastic, keep them in the fridge it keeps the plastic hard

spin cycle · Sep 12, 2019

i'm frazzed

.....roof is going well but it's an effort keeping boys going and supplied.....dude is a man possessed

....some of the time he's helping spk....but the minute he stops he comes find me....i mean i'm in nearby field and he jogs down when lads have a tea break

....good and nice but he's wearing me out

.....spk is impressed....'he's going to be here for the ridge?' spk requests

i managed to cart a few bales on me todd and weigh/tag a few lambs with K in morning.

lunchtime and last window and tiles havn't arrived

.....chippies depart.....spk and dude still tiling.....later window arrives...i open/ cursery check looks ok

....get on roof....spk phones chippy.....spk is as far as he can get but has lead work to do.....dude and i plan to finish straw......chippy is back but hails me....'the window is white james'

......WTF i'm sure i ordered the same (grey)

.....cue an hour of confusion...tel calls....fall victim to some road rage while driving from home to farm

....i must've been meandering :scratchhead:

.....anyhow turns out only the inside was white pvc v pine that i had been buying

......they've not got anymore pine

...it's still grey on outside thank feck.....mrs spin says it doesn't matter ...but i'd still sent chippy away.......hope he comes tommoz.....spk is laughing his head off

......dude wants to get more tiles up (they'd arrived meantime)....i put my foot down 'NO NO'.....i need to go to jewsons.....more lead and ridge tiles

jewsons......now in kirk's 'building supplies' there were 20 new ridge tiles

.....i take one to match up and buy 20 more.....lads in yard very helpful BUT

.....concentrate now

....i have william blyth old style the lads think....which don't match william blyth new style..... sandtoft new nearly match the old ridge tiles i've taken off....in the end i've got one of each for spk to decide

whys everything so complicated

yellowbelly · Sep 12, 2019

spin cycle said:
.i have william blyth old style the lads think....which don't match william blyth new style..... sandtoft new nearly match the old ridge tiles i've taken off....in the end i've got one of each for spk to decide

whys everything so complicated

One vote here for Sandtoft

- 'you've tried the rest but Lincolnshire is best'

. With all this Brexit malarky going on we need to keep exporting - even if it's only as far as Norfolk

spin cycle · Sep 14, 2019

friday 13th ?

day started well enough.....got on well with roof....banter with chippie,,,the other day i asked him if he had ever put a roof window upside down

........spk calls down to me...'james we have a problem'....turns to chippie..'you'd better tell him'.......chippie laughs 'well you know what you said about putting it in upside down'

....i'm relieved it's not a real problem

spk and dude finish south side tiling.....i'm able to do some odd jobs....i can have dude for the afternoon so we take the hi tip trailer and forklift and tidy up broken bales in 'field of fire'

....it takes longer than i expect.....i wanted to get to jewsons but was not to be....we finish/ knock off at 4pm.......dude wants a hand with his allotment at our house so i oblige

disaster strikes later...i have a little prang

....could be my fault :scratchhead:

......mind you i'm the kinda person who always thinks 'i'm in the wrong'.....tell you more another day

delilah · Sep 14, 2019

up the canaries

The OH hankers after moving to Norfolk, if that means I'm allowed to switch allegiance she may get her wish

spin cycle · Sep 15, 2019

friday 13th part 2 (sat)

am i on another run of bad luck

.....first the baler fire....then holiday let heating,,,,,then 'prang'....then,just as i was celebrating city beating citeh, her highness phones from farm....the pony is breathing hard

......two hours later and emergency vet call out

....asthma suspected

....do you know what vet gave her....buscopan

.....seems thats what they use everytime they come out

i was determined to have a restful day....getting tired and perhaps making mistakes :scratchhead:

.....so i was at jewsons at 8am

....pricing and ordering....i had to order sat for tuesday delivery.....spk opted for william blyth ridge ....sorry @yellowbelly .....he said 'sandtoft bit wide and thin'...bit like linc's sheep then

........called into arkwrights....blighter had order ready again...'i don't want that chicken' i say...'no no no mum ordered you leave it alone' chuckles arkwright

back home K and mum feeding but we shut up late lambed mob....they're not the best bunch TBH....they've not had the best grass.....i hope some 'dr grass' at fil's will turn them round

.....worm fly and tag....couple have few maggots....they're not really that viable/agressive but i reckon for sake of 20ml crovect i might as well be done with it

meantime her highness is on ice cream run...mrs spin + cinders doing barn......my next job is the sewerage tank pump....you know when you watch or look at instructions the machine they demo on is immaculate....well i opened the pump up and feckin 'ell it's a mess

.....shows little resemblence to instructions

.......good clean up....lottsa :scratchhead:

.....eventually put it all back together.....it works

1:30 pm home.....shower

...sit down and it's off to sit in the church.....it's the norfolk church's sponsored bike ride and mrs spin organises our village and is cycling a few with cinders

....i take 'executive boardroom' with me so i can listen to cricket...mrs spin doesn't approve

.....anyhow i sit there hour and a half...it's pretty idylic....lovely day sat outside quintessential norfolk church

......get 3 customers including an 84 yr old who's been cycling since 9am...it's and electric bike but even so

.....gerry comes down and sympathises about my 'prang'....i moan to my spiritual leader 'if i didn't do good deeds that wouldn't have happened'....gerry 'can't look at it like that james ...you mustn't change'

after that it's just quick check round outlying sheep....i switch away from cricket to radio norfolk commentary comes on 2-1....ok only loosing 2-1 to man city is pretty good

...commentator...'buendia has robbed him...he squares to pukki....pukki could score....pukki does score....norwich lead 3-1'

....feck me we're winning

city hold on

....i relax

......phone rings....her highness...pony sick

right i'm late for work

yellowbelly · Sep 15, 2019

spin cycle said:
.spk opted for william blyth ridge ....sorry @yellowbelly .....he said 'sandtoft bit wide and thin'...bit like linc's sheep then ...

Cheeky bu66er....

You've had your 3 bits of bad luck now, Spin - sit back and enjoy the good bits this week end. Saw Delia's boys on MOTD last night

. If Broad and Archer can weedle that Smith character out now, we should have a bit of a consolation win to celebrate.

spin cycle · Sep 15, 2019

easier day today.....knippy knappy noo this afternoon

....not that i really felt that much better straight afterwards.....but a bit of rest must help

bit late up the farm this morning....K came in which was nice....she and mum did rounds i got ibc on trailer + troughs ready for new lamb grazing....hitched ifor up....K heads to bale as i need two cull ewes for tommoz....i get there she has most of them shut up

......i'm dropping tailboard and K ,flushed with success. starts to tighten pen up...'wait' i advise....too late

.....a hurdle comes loose...sheep squezze thru...K moves to pick up...the other end comes unattached....she's left holding a hurdle in the middle but sheep escaping both sides...i'm laughing my head off

.....two 'fluffheads' approach...a bit of food and they're on the trailer....greed their undoing

back home about noon....we have a friend call in with late birthday prezzies (chocs for me

)......her hubby is a director of an engineering firm....half their business is for british sugar.....she says a coupla months ago BS ripped up their payment agreement and informed them it would be 90 days from aug 1st

....her hubby had a hellava job renegotiating but got it sorted eventually...they simply couldn't adjust/survive....stress

england win cricket

......bit down though....another week stress/hassle awaits

spin cycle · Sep 17, 2019

monday

into butchers with 2 cull ewes first thing...but van brakes rubbing

.....so into vanshop....had to leave it there

fortunately we have vw fox so i'm still mobile ...but can't tow.....i have some errands to run that i've been putting off.....put them altogether and morning is gone

long lazy lunch.....few odd jobs....home

tuesday

no K today so mum and i on rounds......there's a really noticeable improvement in lambs since worming.....not that they looked poor.... but now look really quite good

paperwork/admin...heating oil price

......midland feeds mixed pellets down £15 though

...van needs new discs/pads and a caliper.....lady at vanshop warns me to prepare for worst....£340....hmm i think thats pretty good TBH :scratchhead:

dudes not here so i chuck the remaining old tiles onto the rubble heap.

....cos if he was here he'd make me sort them for reusable

and i can't be arsed

.......finish up stacking remaining round bales......lunch (long and lazy

)

back out and i'm just hooked on to take tractor/trailer with ibc water to fils aftermaths and dude hoves into view.....me thinks 'oh no he's gonna pester me for jobs'

'.......dude laughing 'hello uncle jimmy ...what needs doin'.......fortunately he's teasing....but is short of baccy.....he checks lambs waters.....paid in baccy and departs to our house to fettle his allotment

.....get to field....fold fence down.....drive on...'hang on that top strand over there looks slack :scratchhead:

....it's moving :scratchhead:

....FECK

'......stop tractor and yes i had snagged the fence

from my tractor travels/travails

i find mum's missing some pills so dispensary visit is last jobba day....BUT back home i have a 'meltdown/tantrum/paddy'......there i am sitting down browsing t'interweb when girls arrive home....cinders in foul mood...her highness says wrong thing....but then mrs spin jokily chides me for not making her a cuppa tea....i've just pre'ped a double nescafe.....girls still arguing over a....wait for it.....phone case.

....i have my 'moment'.

.....and retire to de facto 'exec boardroom' (vw fox)....her highness emerges with phone...'nfu about your prang'

.......seems like it'll be ok though....touchwood emoji......her highness has taken on board that 'dads life isn't plain sailing'

mrs spin and girls go out ...i settle down....just about to finish installment.....phone goes...'hello it's your lovely wifey'.....uh oh

........whats happened

.....crash :scratchhead:

....i mean she used to crash a lot.....now its just infrequent

....the only thing she does more often....like quarterly....is run out of petrol

.....thankfully it's just that

spin cycle · Sep 18, 2019

dude and i at farm bright and early but no spk :scratchhead:

....no matter....dude starts ferrying ridge tiles....K is in early so we move rams to slightly better grass...i give new instructions viz some hard feed....mum rings spk....he'll be here tommoz

take down an aux scaffold tower thats no longer needed then turn my attention to 'few loose' tiles on one of the farmhouses small annexes.....except the felt + batten has gone on about 2 sqm

....nils desperandum i repair using my newly aquired roofing skills blended with just the essence of 'bodge'..... the untrained eye wouldn't notice but dude's gonna dob me into spk for his verdict tommoz

weigh up first penna lambs next.....the light ones are being turned out again but most are over 40 kg so might as well finish inside......her highness arrives to do a paddock fence for the pony..i take the opportunity of her phone/camera skills to photo a ram lamb i'm thinking of keeping....most of the photos are 'conventional' but you can't really see the confirmation/sac...so i 'improvise'

mrs spin says it's perverted

......she might have a point

we've nearly finished weighing when a friend comes to look at a small auger...it's no use but the rollerdoor on the grainstore snags open.....10 mins later i'm walking back past.....mcenroe and billabong have taken advantage of my lapse

.......dude and i fix roller door

lunch.....dude spends afternoon tidying up...i need to check some sheep...get some petrol for atv....and pick up van

billabong and mcenroe are 'taking their ease' under some poplars after their feast

fish 'n chips for tea.....then game of cattan with cuddles and dude

yellowbelly · Sep 18, 2019

spin cycle said:
dude and i at farm bright and early but no spk ....no matter....dude starts ferrying ridge tiles....K is in early so we move rams to slightly better grass...i give new instructions viz some hard feed....mum rings spk....he'll be here tommoz

take down an aux scaffold tower thats no longer needed then turn my attention to 'few loose' tiles on one of the farmhouses small annexes.....except the felt + batten has gone on about 2 sqm....nils desperandum i repair using my newly aquired roofing skills blended with just the essence of 'bodge'..... the untrained eye wouldn't notice but dude's gonna dob me into spk for his verdict tommoz

weigh up first penna lambs next.....the light ones are being turned out again but most are over 40 kg so might as well finish inside......her highness arrives to do a paddock fence for the pony..i take the opportunity of her phone/camera skills to photo a ram lamb i'm thinking of keeping....most of the photos are 'conventional' but you can't really see the confirmation/sac...so i 'improvise'

mrs spin says it's perverted ......she might have a point

we've nearly finished weighing when a friend comes to look at a small auger...it's no use but the rollerdoor on the grainstore snags open.....10 mins later i'm walking back past.....mcenroe and billabong have taken advantage of my lapse .......dude and i fix roller door

lunch.....dude spends afternoon tidying up...i need to check some sheep...get some petrol for atv....and pick up van

billabong and mcenroe are 'taking their ease' under some poplars after their feast

fish 'n chips for tea.....then game of cattan with cuddles and dude

Hhmmm, OK folks, look out anytime now for Spin's new thread................

...............Grass fed, high index Aberspin ram lambs for sale.......

There'll be just one little snag..........................................

..............when you get 'em home, you won't ever be able to keep them in the field you want them in 'cos they'll all be carrying the highly inheritable 'Norfolk Escaping Gene' (the SNOT gene as it's known in elite breeding circles)?

spin cycle · Sep 19, 2019

yellowbelly said:
Hhmmm, OK folks, look out anytime now for Spin's new thread................

...............Grass fed, high index Aberspin ram lambs for sale.......

There'll be just one little snag..........................................

..............when you get 'em home, you won't ever be able to keep them in the field you want them in 'cos they'll all be carrying the highly inheritable 'Norfolk Escaping Gene' (the SNOT gene as it's known in elite breeding circles)?

yeah i had to laugh when @Bury the Trash asked if i was selling him on 'bang on trend'

......mind you i might be able to 'spin it'......so ' NEW beltex based rams with 'myoforage gene'.....now i'm not saying they'll fatten of lichen growing on northern sides of granite slabs 1000ft up.....but i can pretty much assure they'll find the forage they like

.....neighbours grain store....secondhomers gardens ect

spk was in today....dude trots off to help....i do rounds cos K not in til 10am.....9am she appears :scratchhead:

.....so does the horse vet

.....K babysits mum while i carry on....spk decides the william blyth old won't match the new

.....so we'll use the old upto the chimney and new beyond

horse vet finishes....upshot is the building the pony is in has to be as dust free as we can make it.....she has part of a 30x45 open barn.....i've to clear it out and use it for machines only

.....WHOOPPEE cos i havn't enough to do

K and i take some lambs to fil's grass aftermath....repair my trailer 'fence alterations'

......K is terrified of electric shocks...well phobia....mind you she's a problem at home ...getting little leccky shocks from taps

.....decent job....back to yard ...K departs

quick lunch then off to 'naaaam....i've a dead lamb....it's been in a dustbin....doesn't smell at all

......take that in, get 9 ridge tiles.hay nets for pony soaking hay there of

and a leisure batt for fencing......NOW you know like in films such as jurassic park or an alien film where some hapless driver is transporting somat nastie but it's 'securely contained'....cept it's not 'securely contained' and IT escapes to reap havoc?

......WEEELLL

something was moving in the dustbin

.... i got to fallen stock yard...opened back of van.....maggots

....i mean A lOT

.....must've crawled up inside the dustbin....squeezed past lid...fell down and 'migrated'

......mr FS guy is laughing...'i've gotta go to builders merchants' i exclaim...'bitta sand then' mr FS advises :scratchhead:

.....i'll skip the rest of my journey....suffice to say the manager at jewsons hasn't the strongest stomach

.....not now anyway

back home i get in the back of van 'terminator style'

......dude breaks off from helping spk and helps me sort another loada lambs...i take them over to others....i only have an 8x5 trailer so it's 17 at a time....but van won't tow anything bigger and i don't want to run a truck as 90% of my mileage is just jogging about

right we've gotta take her highness to uni tommoz and we're taking the van cos of her stuff.....mrs spin is insisting i check again for 'wildlife'

spin cycle · Sep 21, 2019

bit maudlin after yesterday....another of our brood off to uni....probably never to return

the journey was supposed to be a bitta of a road trip but my plan of a17...a52 to nottingham was soon derailed at sutton bridge...bridge repairs meant a detour after my 'cunning plan' to 'rat run' around them left us at the gates of a power station

.....i considered going in and then out the other side.....hmmm :scratchhead:

,,,,,unknown black van driving around power station :scratchhead:

...bit dodgy even for me

we get to nottingham uni....though in reality it's more an off shoot called beeston....seeing the trams was nice.....the lady who booked her highness in said she'd rather be where we are.....i know why

.....how do ppl live like this ...in a constant impersonel herd.....they'd say it was diverse....thats true in terms of nationality but not in anything else.....herded consumption...unsmiling....frightened to step outside any behavioural stereotype

mrs spin and her highness get edgy...urging me to 'behave' and 'sshh'......at key collection we're offered free tea/coffee...there's also a stall offering free candy floss....i go over to get some...by 2pm i've been his first customer.....again parents/children daring not in case they're judged not 'normal'

there were little moments of relief....we actually found 'christines creations' cafe in beeston's pedestrian street.....satisfying the needs of a lactose/gluten free vegetarian , a meat eating smoker and everything between....even served nescafe

.....i take the coffee outside....sit on street with a marlboro.....i sneeze...a pretty girl with pink hair who's passing says 'bless you'.....i thank her

....she continues on pleased by her cheek/bravery

her highness settled we head home....i'm not keen to repeat the sat nav route....it's all main roads interspersed to often with roundabouts most exits seeming to lead to fast food/coffee....instead we get off the a52 as soon as....down to melton mowbray....oakham....uppingham....a47 ...lynn....thank f**k for the a148 home

my route home is scenic and rolling till thorney.....we do stop at a macdonalds....loo break 'n chips for mrs spin....banna mcflurry and ciggie for me.....watching behind the counter...a dozen to 15 ppl work feversihly keeping the conveyor of the drive thru going....inside a child taps endlessly at a screen with a picture of a milkshake

on the way that morning i noticed a field running alongside a river....most of it is so narrow it has just a single windrow of hay ready for baling....on the way back i measure it...it's 2 miles long

......they've baled it....but in places they've had to push the bales outta the way to get baler back again

we get home 8pm....i walk in....phone rings....it's an exitable dude....he and spk have had a heelava day.....just guttering+ tidying to do

spin cycle · Sep 22, 2019

SAT
grumpy and tired most of the day.....everywhere seems untidy....wouldn't take much to make an improvement but sometimes it all seems daunting

...moved some more lambs .....kip about 3pm....didn't feel any better

......took vw back to boy in norwich in evening.....he seems settled touchwood

.....teacher training going ok.....he's finding his experiences teaching karate very helpful

SUN
slept in until 9am

.....raced up farm...mum and K just started.....we shut up orphans/odds and sods who've been running with pony.....worm/fly tag and over to new grass

....i'm hoping the aftermath will hold them until november.....grass has been drying up though.....hopefully it'll regenerate enough with some forecast rain

afternoon off and i slept 3 hours

.....this time i do feel better

.......mrs spin + cinders been on ice cream van...next weekend'll be the last of season

tommoz gonna be interesting

.....last day before 'boris removal' incapacitates me

....but how much and for how long :scratchhead:

......wanna clean pony shed out....get combine away....make it spks last roofing day and tidy up before rain....see how we get on

spin cycle · Sep 23, 2019

manic day but got all i wanted to get done.....the 'site' is clear....skip full...heap of rubble....heap of wood....old tiles on pallets tucked away.....pony has a combine for company now....so hopefully less dust.....cs has the door that was removed for 'aircon' put back on...she's on mower as i figure i should manage some topping....sprayer needs rinsing/clean/winterizing so she's on a nash

spk hasn't finished though

....the guttering caused some confusion....i had to go to jewsons.....none of the boys there wanted to go near my van for some reason :scratchhead:

i've been telling ppl i'm having an operation

.....but mrs spin says having a wart removed doesn't count :scratchhead:

......i'm with tony hancock school of hypochondria though

yellowbelly · Sep 23, 2019

spin cycle said:
.i'm with tony hancock school of hypochondria though

Yeah, don't let them take any blood - they'll want a whole armful ?

spin cycle · Sep 25, 2019

BORIS

is gone

into cromer hospital tuesday.......'shaved' him off

......thats the good news...the bad news is my blood pressure is high

.....boris is being looked at and if ok no further action.....but if not i'll have to go again.....this way though i should be back to full speed by monday

......surgeon was tiny hong kong lady....her granny worked in paddy fields til she was 99 and had size 10 feet

.....i knew a chap in the theatre from my 'sound engineering' days at cromer carnival....'whats your job' i asked....'i dunno james i was working on morrison's meat counter last week' he replied

back home....spk rained off while doing guttering.....rest/slept balance of day....didn't feel great

wednesday
made appointment to see nurse about blood pressure....been taking it at home with dads old monitor.......170/105....not great....dropped a little when i went to see nurse but i've still got some pills.....in my weakened state i've agreed to have a meeting about quitting smoking next monday

spk in first thing finished the guttering but i'm 8m of gutter brush short :scratchhead:

.......in absentia he took an 'executive decision' and bought deepflow gutter brackets from somewhere else...£270

....thing is he is fecking good so you know it's money well spent.....dad was always fretting about the house gutters blocking.....spk didn't give me a bill but later i found it in the letter box...it was what i expected and so i paid/posted the cheque

.....did the resta the bills

....couldn't find thackos bill so after seeing the nurse i called in and paid aug and sept.....'don't spend it all at once' i quip....'like christmas' joked the lad who also drove the fire engine to my baler fire

.....cash is flying out though

.....paid neighbour for straw.....still owe dude and weeta......oh and proffesional A.....he can wait a month after that grief

didn't get back from my travels til 2pm.....wanted to go to fakenham for gutter brush.....but felt tired so flaked out

Lili · Sep 25, 2019

spin cycle said:
BORIS is gone

into cromer hospital tuesday.......'shaved' him off......thats the good news...the bad news is my blood pressure is high.....boris is being looked at and if ok no further action.....but if not i'll have to go again.....this way though i should be back to full speed by monday......surgeon was tiny hong kong lady....her granny worked in paddy fields til she was 99 and had size 10 feet.....i knew a chap in the theatre from my 'sound engineering' days at cromer carnival....'whats your job' i asked....'i dunno james i was working on morrison's meat counter last week' he replied
back home....spk rained off while doing guttering.....rest/slept balance of day....didn't feel great

wednesday
made appointment to see nurse about blood pressure....been taking it at home with dads old monitor.......170/105....not great....dropped a little when i went to see nurse but i've still got some pills.....in my weakened state i've agreed to have a meeting about quitting smoking next monday

spk in first thing finished the guttering but i'm 8m of gutter brush short .......in absentia he took an 'executive decision' and bought deepflow gutter brackets from somewhere else...£270....thing is he is fecking good so you know it's money well spent.....dad was always fretting about the house gutters blocking.....spk didn't give me a bill but later i found it in the letter box...it was what i expected and so i paid/posted the cheque .....did the resta the bills ....couldn't find thackos bill so after seeing the nurse i called in and paid aug and sept.....'don't spend it all at once' i quip....'like christmas' joked the lad who also drove the fire engine to my baler fire.....cash is flying out though .....paid neighbour for straw.....still owe dude and weeta......oh and proffesional A.....he can wait a month after that grief

didn't get back from my travels til 2pm.....wanted to go to fakenham for gutter brush.....but felt tired so flaked out

Take care and rest for a while if you can.

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