what grinds your gears

[Parly]

Spraying a wasps nest in a wall. You start off with a new can of spray, but after ten seconds discover another exit, which is when the spray runs out and you have to leg it.

Nope nope nope nope nope nope.

I'd just burn the whole building get rid of it all - everything walls, wasps and make sure the flames are visible from space because that means the wasps are gone.

 

[Gator]

The fudgering flys that are currently cruising around my house like they feckin own the place! I friggin hate flys!

Wot ya need is one of these from Aldi, zap the feckers and watch um fry

 

[Parly]

Wot ya need is one of these from Aldi, zap the feckers and watch um fry

Oh man no they're brutal. I'm one of these really pathetic people that will flinch at every fly, butterfly and other flying insect that bounces off my windscreen even going "Oh no sorry! Sorry bee... sorry oooh God no another one... Lord Jesus let it be known that you caused these insects to fly at low level and hit my windscreen. I did not mow them down this one's all on you"

I hit a deer once whacked it full on and went right over the top of it - sobbed like a little girl as the police grabbed its back legs, dragged it unceremoniously from the middle of road, threw it inside a body bag and told me I should have whizzed in the boot and and had venison for lunch the day after.

Early spring I nipped to see the newborn lambs with my daughter and we were all "Ooh look fluffy newborn lambs!!" quickly changing to "Oh dear God there's a dead one...and another one there's another dead lamb still wrapped in the sh!t and casing oh man no.. let's go home"

This is why I'm not a farmer

 

[Parly]

Then in the next breath I'll meet that annoying yapping dog that chases after my car trying to bite the tyres and without missing a beat, slam into reverse and floor it all the way back until either I hear a thud or run out of road.

I'll sob and grieve so hard for a squirrel or bird I batter at 70mph but that little dog I'd flatten and then give another few lots of back and forth until it was a perfect fajita wrap.

 

[Gator]

told me I should have whizzed in the boot and and had venison for lunch the day after.

Yeah... you where slow there


Bees get put back outside

Flies snap crackle and pop

 

[Parly]

I'm off to get showered and headed for a pint and what I'm sure is gonna be a very crowded pub watching the World Cup. Toodles I'll catch you all later

 

[smcapstick]

It's a good thing I'm never actually rude to customers... because it really does look terrible. I just vent my frustration on here

I just made a sensible offer on something and the reply I received was 'Hi ya pal u carnt aford this m8'.

That officially stopped me wanting the thing.

 

[nick...]

The grammar would annoy me to start with.you are not his mate if you never met him either.sounds typical Facebook.must be cheap!
Nick...

 

[smcapstick]

The grammar would annoy me to start with.you are not his mate if you never met him either.sounds typical Facebook.must be cheap!
Nick...

It was only a mitre saw. His was £20 less than a new one - I offered £40 less. I'll go and buy a new one!

 

[roscoe erf]

It was only a mitre saw. His was £20 less than a new one - I offered £40 less. I'll go and buy a new one!

did you offer cash

 

[Parly]

All of the grammar hate and then some - my real struggle in life is fighting the urge to mention it or asking people to spell what they just spilled and spluttered out like a cow with the green apple splatters.

"It's gunna prolly be firty free quid"

I'm sorry what was that? Are you having a stroke, chewing marbles or am I in need of a new dictionary?"

"PROBABLY. PROB. UB. LY"

Thirty three - tongue and teeth "th-th-th" THIRTY THREE.

I don't rip on people that genuinely just struggle with written English and spelling / punctuation it doesn't bother me at all as long as the basic stuff is there and not deliberately dumbed down.

Written ads, emails or texts with abbreviated nonsense I can't even make a word of sense without pain killers I can't entertain at all. That and "Here we have this lovely dog / horse / car a real bargain lovely motor first to see will buy you will not regret this beauty!" and there's a three legged one-eyed animal begging for death or a 25 yr old car with a red bonnet blue door and no wheels.

I don't mind knackered old cars at all - currently driving an ace 20yr old Toyota Starlet it's mint. Seller was upfront and honest, threw me the keys and told me to take it for a drive and was honest in saying "It is what it is - MOT for 12 months, good running order faded paintwork lots of scratches and bumps and dents but what do you want for £200?"

A receipt if you don't mind - I'm having it.

If he'd said "No probs m8 it's firty free quid" I'd have been so disappointed cos it would mean having to go home empty handed

 

[holwellcourtfarm]

did you offer cash

He couldn't, he never gets any

 

[fieldfarmer]

All of the grammar hate and then some - my real struggle in life is fighting the urge to mention it or asking people to spell what they just spilled and spluttered out like a cow with the green apple splatters.

"It's gunna prolly be firty free quid"

I'm sorry what was that? Are you having a stroke, chewing marbles or am I in need of a new dictionary?"

"PROBABLY. PROB. UB. LY"

Thirty three - tongue and teeth "th-th-th" THIRTY THREE.

I don't rip on people that genuinely just struggle with written English and spelling / punctuation it doesn't bother me at all as long as the basic stuff is there and not deliberately dumbed down.

Written ads, emails or texts with abbreviated nonsense I can't even make a word of sense without pain killers I can't entertain at all. That and "Here we have this lovely dog / horse / car a real bargain lovely motor first to see will buy you will not regret this beauty!" and there's a three legged one-eyed animal begging for death or a 25 yr old car with a red bonnet blue door and no wheels.

I don't mind knackered old cars at all - currently driving an ace 20yr old Toyota Starlet it's mint. Seller was upfront and honest, threw me the keys and told me to take it for a drive and was honest in saying "It is what it is - MOT for 12 months, good running order faded paintwork lots of scratches and bumps and dents but what do you want for £200?"

A receipt if you don't mind - I'm having it.

If he'd said "No probs m8 it's firty free quid" I'd have been so disappointed cos it would mean having to go home empty handed

Are you in the pub now ? killing time, that's a lot typing.

 

[Parly]

Are you in the pub now ? killing time, that's a lot typing.

Ah see - seems like I've spent a lot of time but I'm a speed / touch typist and can type, have a row and be ordering a pint at the same time. My husband says I look like a fake news editor from the 70's smashing and hitting keys and clearly not even typing only I am typing.

We're hanging fire on the pub I thought kick off was 7pm so planned to get there and checked in before it got packed. It's 3pm so we're staying put, watching France win at home then sodding off the pub by which time hopefully it'll have gone quiet.

 

[cvx175]

Ah see - seems like I've spent a lot of time but I'm a speed / touch typist and can type, have a row and be ordering a pint at the same time. My husband says I look like a fake news editor from the 70's smashing and hitting keys and clearly not even typing only I am typing.

We're hanging fire on the pub I thought kick off was 7pm so planned to get there and checked in before it got packed. It's 3pm so we're staying put, watching France win at home then sodding off the pub by which time hopefully it'll have gone quiet.

France game is tomorrow?

 

[melted welly]

Irrigators, irrigators, irritators. If they weren't full of water, I swear I'd burn the feckers.

 

[smcapstick]

Watching a documentary on the Rover P4 (as you do) and a chap keeps saying 'Keen-ya' whenever he mentions Kenya.

 

[bovrill]

Watching a documentary on the Rover P4 (as you do) and a chap keeps saying 'Keen-ya' whenever he mentions Kenya.

Out there "yes" is pronounced "yis", the "e" in Kenya the same. Quite why some people choose to interpret that as Keen-ya I have no idea. It annoys me too.

 

[smcapstick]

Out there "yes" is pronounced "yis", the "e" in Kenya the same. Quite why some people choose to interpret that as Keen-ya I have no idea. It annoys me too.

I'd understand if he was a native... but I think he was from Bracknell.

 

[pycoed]

How old are you? Everyone in Britain used to pronounce it "Keenya" - I always thought that "Ken - ya" was a politically correct form? So, needless to say, I always use the old way