nickirl
Member
- Location
- Wexford ireland
Would you post the reading list please
Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)
- Thread starter Andyrob
- Start date
Would you post the reading list please
dt995
Member
- Location
- Carmarthenshire
Apparently Mindfulness is approved by NICE and will be on their recognised treatments list next year.
The books were:
The Chimp Paradox (Steve Peters) - ISTR this guy helped Ronnie O'Sullivan
Get some headspace (Andy Puddicombe)
Mindfulness for the frazzled (Ruby Wax)
- I was told not to be put off by it being by Ruby Wax:
"...in 2013 she gained a master's degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy from Oxford University. In 2015, she was appointed a Visiting Professor in Mental Health Nursing at the University of Surrey"
The books were:
The Chimp Paradox (Steve Peters) - ISTR this guy helped Ronnie O'Sullivan
Get some headspace (Andy Puddicombe)
Mindfulness for the frazzled (Ruby Wax)
- I was told not to be put off by it being by Ruby Wax:
"...in 2013 she gained a master's degree in mindfulness-based cognitive therapy from Oxford University. In 2015, she was appointed a Visiting Professor in Mental Health Nursing at the University of Surrey"
spin cycle
Member
- Location
- north norfolk
i love the chimp paradox
- Location
- NSW, Newstralya
Any Henry Rollins fans ?
A very powerful conversation about farmers & depression
https://www.spreaker.com/user/10496038/murray-hartin
A very powerful conversation about farmers & depression
https://www.spreaker.com/user/10496038/murray-hartin
Last edited:
primmiemoo
Member
- Location
- Devon
Hello,
I watched the rather lovely item on Countryfile about the woman who started and presumably co-ordinates a site solely for farmers' wives, girlfriends, and widows. It must be a relief to find a network like that when in need. Very well done indeed to the lady who is quite rightly nominated as a farming hero.
The trouble is, it brought tears to my eyes, and made me feel even more isolated than I have been. Feeling low about it but not depressed.
What is it about the stereotype that any woman involved with farming can only be in the category of wife, widow, or girlfriend of a farmer that allows it to persist?
If the good women shown in the programme find personal life difficult enough in their own rural "communities" to turn to the virtual world for support, what hope is there for the likes of me?
TFF is clearly and demonstrably a special place within the internet, as must be the virtual group shown on Countryfile. I already value being in a reading space where I don't feel picked out to be some sort of token farmer, and nobody's automatically presumed much about my marital status - at least, not to my "face".
But where are the Real World equivalents?
I don't feel robust enough to helve and belve at anyone in my home "community", and I don't expect feats of mind reading from anyone, either. But there should be communication. Lines of honest communication at "community" level have needed restoration and maintainance for decades.
Trouble is they're the sort that don't show up on OS maps or satellite photos, do they. And no local representatives of groups and organisations supposedly serving rural areas are likely to be fined for not troubling themselves with looking after places in their holdings that are inconvenient distances away from hard standings and lights, are they.
I watched the rather lovely item on Countryfile about the woman who started and presumably co-ordinates a site solely for farmers' wives, girlfriends, and widows. It must be a relief to find a network like that when in need. Very well done indeed to the lady who is quite rightly nominated as a farming hero.
The trouble is, it brought tears to my eyes, and made me feel even more isolated than I have been. Feeling low about it but not depressed.
What is it about the stereotype that any woman involved with farming can only be in the category of wife, widow, or girlfriend of a farmer that allows it to persist?
If the good women shown in the programme find personal life difficult enough in their own rural "communities" to turn to the virtual world for support, what hope is there for the likes of me?
TFF is clearly and demonstrably a special place within the internet, as must be the virtual group shown on Countryfile. I already value being in a reading space where I don't feel picked out to be some sort of token farmer, and nobody's automatically presumed much about my marital status - at least, not to my "face".
But where are the Real World equivalents?
I don't feel robust enough to helve and belve at anyone in my home "community", and I don't expect feats of mind reading from anyone, either. But there should be communication. Lines of honest communication at "community" level have needed restoration and maintainance for decades.
Trouble is they're the sort that don't show up on OS maps or satellite photos, do they. And no local representatives of groups and organisations supposedly serving rural areas are likely to be fined for not troubling themselves with looking after places in their holdings that are inconvenient distances away from hard standings and lights, are they.
So sorry you feel so isolated, I find solace at the local pub, the landlord has a good ear and a kind heart and it’s a place of comfort for many in our rural parish. Others may frown on us for frequenting such a place but I find I can chat to folk and not feel any pressure. I suppose it’s harder as a women but are there any social groups or clubs you can join to encourage some social interaction and hopefully support
Whitewalker
Member
I just stumbled over this. What a powerful piece. I listened in tears and when he just finished the poem my litter girl phoned me with a big cheery voice. It’s easy to loose perspective. Thanks for that @Farmer Roy
- Location
- NSW, Newstralya
Whitewalker
Member
Maybe you should repost it in the main Agri matters section. Maybe more traffic
primmiemoo
Member
- Location
- Devon
Thanks for your kind reply, @Old Tip . I'm really pleased you have a functional, honest pub to go to. They need special protection, imo.The ones local to here are the type that's on the tout for fashionable tourists with bags of dosh. Unaccompanied famales are frozen out unless they're waitressing or singing as the entertainment, I know from experience of treating myself to a meal out for a change. The only pub I can think of that's the type you describe is a distance away if I wanted to have an alcoholic drink, and undergoing major redevelopment.
I have tried to join in local clubs and socs, but there's no welcome from them other than the business sort - they're used for business networking and selling and promoting products - or else it's eerily like going back to playing Wendy houses. All very charming and sweet when it's 5 or 6 year olds, but not when it's baby boomers older than me. I once did a stint with the very grass roots of local government. Unfortunately, I had to give it up along with the spot of voluntary work that went with it because of ill health. Precisely none of the people involved with that organisation has ever so much as asked me how I am since then.
It's the sort of culture where a person is simply edited out if they haven't turned up.
No contact or communication at all.
Unfortunately, there's overlap with local projections of national organisations. Same people are involved with several - the usual Venn diagram that happens in rural parishes. No community from those, either, and no professionals with the scope to make a difference.
It's hard to know what to do, really. It is harder for women - especially those of us who farm but don't fit the farmer's wife/girlfriend stereotype. Single women who farm, and farmer's widows have other difficulties and discriminations to cope with.
My Mum was very ill recently, and a healthcare professional referred to this neck of the woods as a black hole for social and medical care. It's the same at a social and community level. Long term ingrained among locals. Incomers and passers through don't look away from the scenery or their lifestyles long enough to notice or care.
I'm feeling less unhappy today.
I have tried to join in local clubs and socs, but there's no welcome from them other than the business sort - they're used for business networking and selling and promoting products - or else it's eerily like going back to playing Wendy houses. All very charming and sweet when it's 5 or 6 year olds, but not when it's baby boomers older than me. I once did a stint with the very grass roots of local government. Unfortunately, I had to give it up along with the spot of voluntary work that went with it because of ill health. Precisely none of the people involved with that organisation has ever so much as asked me how I am since then.
It's the sort of culture where a person is simply edited out if they haven't turned up.
No contact or communication at all.
Unfortunately, there's overlap with local projections of national organisations. Same people are involved with several - the usual Venn diagram that happens in rural parishes. No community from those, either, and no professionals with the scope to make a difference.
It's hard to know what to do, really. It is harder for women - especially those of us who farm but don't fit the farmer's wife/girlfriend stereotype. Single women who farm, and farmer's widows have other difficulties and discriminations to cope with.
My Mum was very ill recently, and a healthcare professional referred to this neck of the woods as a black hole for social and medical care. It's the same at a social and community level. Long term ingrained among locals. Incomers and passers through don't look away from the scenery or their lifestyles long enough to notice or care.
I'm feeling less unhappy today.
- Location
- Penzance
How about we set up a seperate thread for the women of the farming community on here? Like a woman's lounge, where we can talk about anything, anytime? No judgements, just a good natter
internet is a very powerful tool. I suffer from loneliness also, despite being from a large family. It can be very difficult tbh
- Location
- Penzance
I belong to a group on FB called Ladies with livestock. Brilliant group, women only ofc. You're most welcome to join
primmiemoo
Member
- Location
- Devon
I belong to a group on FB called Ladies with livestock. Brilliant group, women only ofc. You're most welcome to join
Thank you @waterbuffalofarmer , I'll definitely consider it.
Glad of the kind people in TFF, hope you're all finding some enjoyment in today.
... [must get head around emojis...]
- Location
- Limousin/Charentes toad land
How about we set up a seperate thread for the women of the farming community on here? Like a woman's lounge, where we can talk about anything, anytime? No judgements, just a good natter
Bad idea. This thread needs the feminine input
- Location
- Glen Clova, Angus, DD8 4RD
Buffy didn't say she would emmigrate to such a new thread thoughBad idea. This thread needs the feminine input
lazy farmer
Member
- Location
- som/dor border
hi,
there was piece on this very subject on countryfile last night via its farming hero segment.
they were discussing a lady who has set up a facebook page called "the crazy life of a farmers wife" the page has become all encompassing not only for farmers wife's and it now has over three thousand members i think it could be apotentially very useful place.
there was piece on this very subject on countryfile last night via its farming hero segment.
they were discussing a lady who has set up a facebook page called "the crazy life of a farmers wife" the page has become all encompassing not only for farmers wife's and it now has over three thousand members i think it could be apotentially very useful place.
I think a lot of us are thinking the same, it’s been a long tough winter, the consumers and the government don’t seem to care about our future, so why struggle. We can probably get by producing a lot less, eating more of our own produce and having an easier life
Woolgatherer
Member
- Location
- Angus
I belong to a group on FB called Ladies with livestock. Brilliant group, women only ofc. You're most welcome to join
Im in Ladies who love livestock, a friendly group and supportive. ( I think you're in that one @waterbuffalofarmer?)
Cheers for that link @Farmer Roy a worthwhile listen indeed and you introduced me to the poetry of Murray Hartin.