Dealing with depression - suicidal thoughts - Join the conversation (including helpline details)

[Christoph1945]

At the age of 77, some would have me believe that the Grim Reaper is hot on my heels and I suppose that I should take this opportunity to say thank you to TFF and all you members for having so readily accepted me to your ranks and made to be so welcome here; I really do appreciate your company and the time that we all spend together.

Stay safe, stay well, and to our silent readers I would write ....... stick around, there is untold help and support on here and even the deepest darkest depression is survivable; I know, I have been there!

Chris

 

[teslacoils]

If anyone is feeling:

Like they need to get out and about this weekend.
Like they might like a bit of peace and quiet.
That they have an interest in old churches.
They may enjoy a free cup of tea and a cake.

Then its west Lindsey open churches weekend going on. https://www.churchesfestival.info/ But more excitingly I am involved and you can pop in to my little church in Gainsborough. Built in 1704 its a stark contrast to many others. I'll be there from half eleven. Its a little peaceful oasis but also convenient for the rest of town for shoping, eating etc.

 

[Wombat]

Pleased to hear your good news and look forward to reading more about your progress.

The Grim Reaper has been quite busy around here and since December has take three close friends and when I received a pension's news letter last month I learned that seven of my old work mates had all passed on but as I read their names amongst a long list of employees that were no longer with us I wasn't depressed but was filled with fond memories of seventeen years working in the same team together.

Sorry to read that but as you say good memories are worth a lot.

just glad I have finally got someone to look at my heart after 15 months and someone who knows what they are talking about so that bit of reassurance has made the world seem a lot better today

 

[Christoph1945]

Sorry to read that but as you say good memories are worth a lot.

just glad I have finally got someone to look at my heart after 15 months and someone who knows what they are talking about so that bit of reassurance has made the world seem a lot better today

 

[Wombat]

Just more grumpy I could have felt like this 6 weeks ago if the GP hadn’t done sweet FA with the letter from the cardiologist

 

[DrWazzock]

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the Mrs and myself. It’s just all the stupid crappy illness we have to deal with that’s very tiresome. We do our bit. We try. We always have done, But if bad things crop up at random then it’s not really our fault. We’ll try to ignore them as much as possible. Trying to “come to terms” with such things is like trying to keep the tide out with a yard brush, so let life get on and do it’s worst. I’m going spraying and the Mrs is doing some baking.
Why should we let the rubbish parts of life dominate us? They can eff off as far I’m concerned. Be ignored. I’m not “coming to terms” with stuff like that. I don’t negotiate with adversity any more. I just try to ignore it. If you start negotiating, it’s won.
Well that’s this mornings thoughts on it.

 

[theboytheboy]

I’ve come to the conclusion that there is nothing fundamentally wrong with the Mrs and myself. It’s just all the stupid crappy illness we have to deal with that’s very tiresome. We do our bit. We try. We always have done, But if bad things crop up at random then it’s not really our fault. We’ll try to ignore them as much as possible. Trying to “come to terms” with such things is like trying to keep the tide out with a yard brush, so let life get on and do it’s worst. I’m going spraying and the Mrs is doing some baking.
Why should we let the rubbish parts of life dominate us? They can eff off as far I’m concerned. Be ignored. I’m not “coming to terms” with stuff like that. I don’t negotiate with adversity any more. I just try to ignore it. If you start negotiating, it’s won.
Well that’s this mornings thoughts on it.

Maybe without realising it, this is you coming to terms with it?

There's some saying about controlling the things you can and not letting the rest controll you...

But please be careful that your not "bottling" things up.

 

[DrWazzock]

Well I’ve gone on a public forum about it so maybe not bottling it up.
Maybe some things/ aspects are best “bottled up” and left in a deep dark repository. Some thoughts are so toxic they might be best treated like nuclear waste, encased in concrete and put down a very deep mine. Dragging them out and opening and opening them up tends to make them contaminate and poison everybody around them which is why I’m slightly doubtful that counselling and opening up helps me personally. No, suppression is good.
Nice mid morning coffee and toast to enjoy. Good bye to all that other stuff.

 

[Christoph1945]

Well I’ve gone on a public forum about it so maybe not bottling it up.
Maybe some things/ aspects are best “bottled up” and left in a deep dark repository. Some thoughts are so toxic they might be best treated like nuclear waste, encased in concrete and put down a very deep mine. Dragging them out and opening and opening them up tends to make them contaminate and poison everybody around them which is why I’m slightly doubtful that counselling and opening up helps me personally. No, suppression is good.
Nice mid morning coffee and toast to enjoy. Good bye to all that other stuff.

Leave all that other stuff on hold for the time being and just enjoy your coffee and toast and do let us know what scrumptious delights your wife has baked for your return at teatime.

I didn't join our clan seeking solutions for anger/anxiety/depression but arrived here by what I assumed was accidental curiosity over a pig farming disaster and decided to stay a while after learning about the depression and suicide rates amongst our farming communities. You would be absolutely amazed by what I have learned about my self by staying and trying to encourage others that depression is survivable.

We should, I suppose, think of our little team as being an escape committee!

 

[Trutti]

Maybe without realising it, this is you coming to terms with it?

There's some saying about controlling the things you can and not letting the rest controll you...

But please be careful that your not "bottling" things up.

God, grant me the serenity To accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, And wisdom to know the difference.

 

[Christoph1945]

Had one of those random thoughts that I often get whilst musing things over; some guy once wrote 'I think, therefore I am' and an ancient scribe also wrote 'as a man thinketh, then so is he'. Do we think our selves into anger/anxiety/depression and if so can we think our selves out of them; or is that like trying to lift our selves up by our own bootstraps?

 

[BeReyt]

Thought I'd add to the conversation after being a bit of a lurker; to all of you that are going through these battles, or are feeling like things are too much to bear, there is light out there. It might not always be obvious every day, but every now and then the clouds lift and the birds sing again.

After spending a week in ICU and another week being watched, that cloud lifted.

The clouds do come back, sometimes it seems they'll stay, but the sun always burns through.

 

[Christoph1945]

Welcome aboard brother; do you keep an emotional diary, that may help you to pinpoint any causes for those intermittent dips? Over many years I learned that gluten, caffeine, and alcohol can be quite influential in bringing on mood changes.

 

[teslacoils]

Also, sunshine.

Or lack of.

 

[DrWazzock]

And lack of rain. It grinds away at me no matter how I try to ignore it. When I worked in the factory we never had to watch a years work shrivel up in front of our eyes just before we were due to ship the goods. Farming is uniquely special in that respect and it’s getting quite tiresome. Oh yes there is irrigation but a maze of red tape and a cost unlikely to be returned in my lifetime. As usual we’d be “buying” production. It’s a fight the full 15 rounds.

 

[Christoph1945]

And lack of rain. It grinds away at me no matter how I try to ignore it. When I worked in the factory we never had to watch a years work shrivel up in front of our eyes just before we were due to ship the goods. Farming is uniquely special in that respect and it’s getting quite tiresome. Oh yes there is irrigation but a maze of red tape and a cost unlikely to be returned in my lifetime. As usual we’d be “buying” production. It’s a fight the full 15 rounds.

So, working from home isn't all it's cracked up to be then?

If it refuses to rain, you can't irrigate it, and you can't spray it wet; is there an alternative crop that doesn't mind dry spells? Solar cells n windmills perhaps?

 

[BeReyt]

Welcome aboard brother; do you keep an emotional diary, that may help you to pinpoint any causes for those intermittent dips? Over many years I learned that gluten, caffeine, and alcohol can be quite influential in bringing on mood changes.

Thank you. No I hadn't thought of doing that to be honest, I've realised when my mood is down and know what to expect, I just fight through now. Being physically in pain constantly doesn't help, and loneliness is the main factor, also a fairly poor diet, I.e a lack of one.

It'll be reyt

 

[DrWazzock]

Thank you. No I hadn't thought of doing that to be honest, I've realised when my mood is down and know what to expect, I just fight through now. Being physically in pain constantly doesn't help, and loneliness is the main factor, also a fairly poor diet, I.e a lack of one.

It'll be reyt

Well you are not entirely alone because folk on here are listening.
And if you can pick things up and carry on through adversity then you must be doing something right.

 

[Christoph1945]

Well you are not entirely alone because folk on here are listening.
And if you can pick things up and carry on through adversity then you must be doing something right.

Time spent on TFF often helps us get things into perspective and also to be able to be of help and assistance to others.

 

[BeReyt]

Thank you, keep on going everyone!