things that make you smile

[JWL]

A bus full of ugly people had a head on collision with a truck.

When they died, God granted all of them one wish.

The first person said, “I want to be gorgeous.” God snapped his fingers and it happened.

The second person said the same thing and God did the same thing. This want on and on throughout the group.

God noticed the last man in line was laughing hysterically.

By the time God got to the last ten people, the last man was laughing and rolling on the ground.

When the man’s turn came, he laughed and said, “I wish they were all ugly again.”

 

[Dr. Alkathene]

The kestrel who has worked out that rather than hovering to hunt, it can perch on the phone wire and spot rodents to swoop down on.

 

[JWL]

An autopsy professor was giving an introductory lecture to a class of students. Standing over a corpse, he addressed the class. “There are two things you need to make a career in medical forensics. First, you must have no fear.”

Having said that, he shoved his finger up the corpse’s anus and licked it. “Now you must do the same,” he told the class.

After a couple of minutes of uneasy silence, the class did as instructed.

“Second,” the professor continued, “you must have an acute sense of observation. For instance, how many of you noticed that I put my middle finger up this man’s anus, but licked my index finger?”

 

[FonterraFarmer]

In the mail from @multipower and @Farmers little Wife a calendar and not of Fergie tractors

 

[FonterraFarmer]

In the mail from @multipower and @Farmers little Wife a calendar and not of Fergie tractors

Well thats Scotland and Wales covered, just waiting for Canada, Ireland and possibly USA.
Which brings me to my thought of the day, do we stand back and look at what we have locally and think hell yeah , thats world class and actually appreciate what we have locally and or promote what we have locally to the world?*









* Its hot down here, so said post may possibly be influenced by Corona Extra

 

[Philip Watkins]

Well thats Scotland and Wales covered, just waiting for Canada, Ireland and possibly USA.
Which brings me to my thought of the day, do we stand back and look at what we have locally and think hell yeah , thats world class and actually appreciate what we have locally and or promote what we have locally to the world?*









* Its hot down here, so said post may possibly be influenced by Corona Extra

Beer or not you're right, too many people are in too much of a rush and don't take the time to look at what's around them.

 

[Kidds]

do we stand back and look at what we have locally and think hell yeah , thats world class and actually appreciate what we have locally and or promote what we have locally to the world?

Yes and no.
Yes I stand back and look and appreciate what I have very much.
No I do not promote it to the world, they can bugger off somewhere else such as NZ for example.

 

[KMA]

NO, no, nothing to see or do in D&G and it's definitely not the most diversely beautiful place on the planet IMO, so if you'd all just quickly move along to the Lakes or the Highlands please

I wonder if they believed me

 

[llamedos]

 

[Poorbuthappy]

So long as you don't arrive 50 years early...

 

[bovrill]

So long as you don't arrive 50 years early...

I'm planning on being late at mine... )

 

[Robigus]

Let Me Die A Youngman's Death

Let me die a youngman's death
not a clean and inbetween
the sheets holywater death
not a famous-last-words
peaceful out of breath death

When I'm 73
and in constant good tumour
may I be mown down at dawn
by a bright red sports car
on my way home
from an allnight party

Or when I'm 91
with silver hair
and sitting in a barber's chair
may rival gangsters
with hamfisted tommyguns burst in
and give me a short back and insides

Or when I'm 104
and banned from the Cavern
may my mistress
catching me in bed with her daughter
and fearing for her son
cut me up into little pieces
and throw away every piece but one

Let me die a youngman's death
not a free from sin tiptoe in
candle wax and waning death
not a curtains drawn by angels borne
'what a nice way to go' death

Roger McGough :

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

 

[llamedos]

Do not go gentle into that good night
Dylan Thomas, 1914 - 1953

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.

Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless, me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

A particular favorite, you hit a nerve.

 

[Bury the Trash]

Just about still light at 5 pm

 

[betweenthelines]

Relative has done some research into our family tree. It turns out that me Great great Grandfather's given names were Nimrod Nelson!

I'm going to tell my kids I want my grandchildren to carry on the name!

 

[Blod]

Reading “Tamed ten species that changed the world” by Alice Roberts

 

[roscoe erf]

 

[llamedos]

Reading “Tamed ten species that changed the world” by Alice Roberts

She is most compelling to watch and listen to, must buy the book. Thanks for the prompt

 

[Nearly]

http://newsthump.com/2018/01/15/uk-...er-government-mistakenly-bails-out-marillion/

 

[YorkshireAndrew]