Supporting an elderly relative

[MillyFyfe]

I am supporting my husband's elderly uncle who turns 80 at the end of the year.

He only knows farming and has never had a social life / made friends etc. He has led a simple life.

Tonight when he came across to feed a few cows, I asked him how he was and he said he was bored when he is at home.

He enjoys the farming programmes on TV and reads all the farming press. I suggested getting a few jigsaws which he was pleased with.

I wondered if there is a befriending service that I could contact?

Trouble is he doesn't drive and can't use a telephone. Our village has little amenities (no bus, no shops, no meeting places)

Any ideas of how I can help him to not feel bored?

 

[cowmop]

Can he learn an instrument?
I have found that very rewarding and it can take a lot of your time up!
Don't get me wrong I am 40s not 80s but have no past musical experience but enjoyed every minute.

 

[MillyFyfe]

An interesting angle. Or maybe get him a record player? Thanks for the suggestion

 

[ollie989898]

If the man still has mobility and is of sound mind, what's wrong with him being outside doing stuff? I used to work on a place where Grandad (approx 80) helped out 4 or 5 days a week. Move cattle, feed milk calves or drive the loader even. Knew where all the water pipes were and which cows were sods etc. Also knew how to operate the dirty water irrigator. Only thing that I saw really needed changing was that he wanted a buggy/gator buggy thing rather than a quad because slinging your leg over it all the time was uncomfortable.

 

[davidroberts30]

I am supporting my husband's elderly uncle who turns 80 at the end of the year.

He only knows farming and has never had a social life / made friends etc. He has led a simple life.

Tonight when he came across to feed a few cows, I asked him how he was and he said he was bored when he is at home.

He enjoys the farming programmes on TV and reads all the farming press. I suggested getting a few jigsaws which he was pleased with.

I wondered if there is a befriending service that I could contact?

Trouble is he doesn't drive and can't use a telephone. Our village has little amenities (no bus, no shops, no meeting places)

Any ideas of how I can help him to not feel bored?

Get a few pet cattle that he can"look after"

 

[MillyFyfe]

If the man still has mobility and is of sound mind, what's wrong with him being outside doing stuff? I used to work on a place where Grandad (approx 80) helped out 4 or 5 days a week. Move cattle, feed milk calves or drive the loader even. Knew where all the water pipes were and which cows were sods etc. Also knew how to operate the dirty water irrigator. Only thing that I saw really needed changing was that he wanted a buggy/gator buggy thing rather than a quad because slinging your leg over it all the time was uncomfortable.

It is more in the evenings, especially now the nights are drawing in. He does help out in the yard but its more pushing a fork around and emptying a few bags these days.

 

[MillyFyfe]

Get a few pet cattle that he can"look after"

He feeds our finishing cattle twice daily. It is more in the evenings, especially now the nights are drawing in

 

[ollie989898]

It is more in the evenings, especially now the nights are drawing in. He does help out in the yard but its more pushing a fork around and emptying a few bags these days.

Make him go to the village pub, drink a good scotch and yarn with some friends? It's the old guys that really 'make' our local.

 

[davidroberts30]

Make him go to the village pub, drink a good scotch and yarn with some friends? It's the old guys that really 'make' our local.

Then catch covid

 

[puppet]

There are befriending groups in many areas which may have to be by phone at present. Social services may have contact details. Is he a church member as they will have visitors too.
Farming DVDs any interest?
Jigsaws and puzzle books keep the brain active.

Get him a tablet and join TFF.?

 

[Wooly]

Buy him some chicken to look after............. they hopefully won't knock him over.

 

[idgni]

get him a dog, plenty of dogs in rescue centres given up by an elderly person not fit to look after them that are looking a new leisurely life, best company for a person,

 

[Kidds]

I would say dog too if you consider it appropriate.

 

[Dry Rot]

Make him go to the village pub, drink a good scotch and yarn with some friends? It's the old guys that really 'make' our local.

"He can't drive and can't use the telephone".
That's the trouble with the youth of today, they don't pay attention.

 

[Highland Mule]

Get him a phone and make him learn how to use it. If he's living alone, he should have a means of getting help out of hours. He's only 80, so his brain still works - if he's bored then that's his motivation to learn.

 

[Dry Rot]

When he gets to my age, he can buy a young horse (or better breed one) and start breaking it. I was doing that today after taking the dogs out for a rabbit hunt.
Let some grazing to a couple of nicely shapely horsey women. Interviews are in hand.
Buy machines that need repairing -- and repair them. Took nearly a whole day to put the blades on a mower upside down -- and the rest of the day taking them off again and putting them on the right way up.
Join TFF and stir up some trouble for a bit of fun.
TV improves as you get older. A touch of Alzeimers and you won't notice the repeats.
I nearly forgot, the chimney sweep can't come until the 20th so being smoked out last night forced me to sweep the chimney first thing.
I just wish I had time to do cross-word puzzles!

 

[JWL]

Get him a voice recorder and ask him to reminisce. Those memories he has will be lost forever one day.

 

[Dry Rot]

There is no doubt the internet is a great escape. I certainly rely on it and I am 80 and live alone. There is TFF and Youtube videos on every subject under the sun. Did he have a hobby when he was younger? Now he has more time, maybe resurrect that? I get students to help me over the summer and most have Skype. I haven't got on that yet but it does seem a wonderful way to make contact with old friends and relatives. Then there is Facebook. All take a bit of time to master but if he's bored, he won't have any shortage of that. It's amazing how many people from the past pop up on Facebook once you get the ball rolling.

 

[Gator]

Get him a voice recorder and ask him to reminisce. Those memories he has will be lost forever one day.

Wish id of done that with dad, used to sit with him at night snd hed go back to when he was a lad and starting in farming and the things he got up too, pre warand the war ag, as your say all those stores are lots for ever.

 

[ollie989898]

"He can't drive and can't use the telephone".
That's the trouble with the youth of today, they don't pay attention.

To be honest, I can't drive or use a telephone once I've been the to pub either so he would be in good company there.